Built on a Lie
by FrozenSoldier
Summary: Angela Weber held a secret she couldn't share with anyone. What happens when that secret lands her in the middle of the forest with the truth about the Cullens real identities fresh on her mind? AU *on hiatus*
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is for the 'The Secrets out' one shot contest on the Two Sides of Twilight forum [forum now closed].**

**It is set on Bella's birthday in New Moon. But instead of Jasper attacking Bella, this happened in its place.**

**Disclaimer: I'd raid the bank if it meant I could visit Stephenie Meyer and buy the rights to call Jasper my own.**

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**Built on a Lie**

**Prologue**

My eyes kept flickering towards the table where the two remaining Cullens and Bella were sitting. I felt my heart sink even further into my chest every time I was reminded that he wasn't here anymore. He was attending college in some unknown state, and I would probably never see him again.

I would never see Jasper Hale again.

The feelings I had towards him was just a silly, impractical fantasy I'd had since I first laid eyes on him when the Cullens started attending Forks High. Sure, I could handle the feelings that were building up inside my chest, even when they consumed me and didn't allow me to think about anything else. I could handle the fact that those feelings would always remain unrequited. I could even handle just being friends with him. For to have a little bit of him, would be better than having nothing at all.

But I didn't have that little bit of him. I _had_ nothing at all. I wasn't his friend, nor could I even call myself that because he didn't actually know who I was. He never looked in my direction, let alone noticed me enough to start up a conversation. I bet he didn't even know my name.

"Ange, are you alright?" Ben asked in a quiet voice so that no one else would be able to hear him.

This was the reason why my stupid feelings towards Jasper were impractical, not to mention forbidden. I had a boyfriend, a very loving and caring boyfriend who, on many different occasions, had proven his love to me.

Yet each night, when I closed my eyes, it would be Jasper who I would think about, and not Ben. It was Jasper who assaulted my dreams each night, and without fail, every morning I opened my eyes, it would be Jasper who I thought about first, regardless of where I was. Be it in my own bed, or worse, in Ben's.

"I'm fine, Ben."

I felt the same twinge in my heart as I lied to him yet again. The amount of lies I had told him was slowly totalling up until our whole relationship was built around a lie. Every time I told him that I loved him, it was a lie. Every time I kissed him and told him that I wanted more, it was a lie.

Because even if I did love Ben, the love I felt for Jasper was always stronger, always more precise. It was Jasper that I wanted, and it always would be him.

My name was Angela Weber, and I was in love with Jasper Hale.

Sometimes I wondered if they knew about the way I felt. Surely he must have caught me looking in his direction at least once? All he had to do was look into my eyes to see the emotions running through them, the emotions that were for him and no one else.

At times I would catch the youngest Cullen sibling, Alice's, eye and would have the sudden fear that she knew. Even Edward, on occasions, would give me a look that told me he knew what I was thinking. But it was Alice who I was truly worried about. She was the girl who had managed to capture Jasper's heart and keep it for her own.

Ever since they first arrived I knew that they were together. She was the beautiful pixie girl who had the quiet, blond haired Adonis, and ever since they first arrived, I was jealous of her.

I sighed quietly to myself and began to push the untouched food around my tray in an aimless manner. No one would witness what I was doing, for nobody noticed me here. I didn't stand out enough in this crowd of people I called my friends, unlike Jessica and Lauren who were always surrounded by people.

The lunch bell rang, making me jump. Everyone bustled around me, a couple were groaning because of the classes they had to go to. I chucked my lunch in the trash and walked with Ben and Eric towards the door. I said goodbye to them both before slowly walking towards where Bella was standing with Edward and Alice.

They all seemed to stop talking when I got closer to them, and I tried not to think it was because of me. But I knew that it was. Alice said goodbye to them both before walking away. She didn't bother looking in my direction.

"Hey, Angela," Bella exclaimed cheerily.

I smiled at her and stepped forward. "Happy birthday, Bella!"

Her eyes widened and she stepped forward, shushing me. "How'd you know what day it was?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "You told me ages ago, Bella, I remembered."

Her lips pursed for a moment before she sighed and smiled. "Well, thanks for reminding me." Her tone was teasing.

Edward exhaled softly and shook his head at her with a smirk on his face, obviously enjoying some personal joke.

"I have your card and present at home," I continued. "I forgot to bring it with me today. Maybe I could come by later and drop it off at yours?"

Bella shared a quick glance with Edward. "Yeah, that's-"

"She's going to be at my house as my family have prepared a small party for her," Edward said, interrupting her.

"Edward, I've already said I didn't want a party," Bella mumbled as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Edward let out a hearty laugh, which took me by surprise. He rarely used to show any emotions before Bella came to Forks. The laughter died on Edward's lips a second or so later and he murmured something about having to go to class.

Bella and I slowly made our way to our last class of the day. It was the only one we shared together this year, and now that she spent her lunchtimes with the Cullens, I found that we had drifted apart. I missed my best friend.

"So, what is this about your birthday party?" I asked her as we walked towards our classroom.

Bella sighed and shook her head with a slight smile on her face. "I told Edward I didn't want a party, but he couldn't rein Alice in. She goes…a little bit over the top with things like this."

"Yeah, but why don't you want a party?" I continued. Surely you'd be excited if someone was throwing you a birthday party?

"Bella?" I prompted when she didn't answer me straight away.

"I don't like celebrating the fact that I'm a year older," she mumbled without looking in my direction.

I frowned in confusion. "Bella, you're eighteen. It's hardly the age where you'd start worrying about getting older."

She snorted softly, but I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied. "You sound just like Edward."

"Great minds think alike and all that," I joked. It was silent for a moment before Bella made a strange groaning sound. I glanced at her briefly, wondering what was wrong.

"I really hope Alice isn't planning anything big," she said at long last. I shrugged my shoulders in response, for I didn't know Alice enough to give Bella a proper answer.

"She seems very…energetic…" I mused, not knowing what else to say.

Bella snorted yet again. "That is one word for her. It's a miracle people can keep up with her. I know I can't."

She laughed then as if she was enjoying some kind of personal joke, just like Edward had been earlier.

"Jasper obviously keeps up with her," I replied without thinking about what I was saying. I sounded almost depressed as I mentioned Jasper. It seemed I was unable to go a full day now without somehow bringing him into the conversation. It just proved that he was always on my mind.

* * *

I stared at Bella's present for a moment before picking it up and putting it into the gift bag I'd bought the other day. I was meant to be putting it by the door so that I wouldn't forget it when I leave for school tomorrow morning.

But there was something eating away at me. It was like an itch that I just couldn't seem to scratch, no matter how hard I tried. I even contemplated going over to Bella's house and giving it to Charlie. But there was no point, she wouldn't be there.

She would be at the Cullens' house.

I snatched up my car keys and grabbed the gift bag, before making my way down the stairs and into the hallway.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked from the kitchen where she was currently making our dinner.

"I'm just going to go drop off Bella's birthday present," I told her, not bothering to mention the fact that I was going to the Cullens' house. I wasn't sure how she'd react to that, considering it was so far out of town.

"Okay, don't be too long though, as dinner is almost ready," she continued. I agreed and quickly made my way outside. I didn't know why the hell I was doing this. I'd never been to the Cullens' house before. There was always something about their house that told you to stay away.

But everyone knew where they lived. Everyone had heard of the large house that was surrounded by trees on the outskirts of Forks. But no one had been there. Apart from Bella, of course.

I travelled down the silent roads that led out of Forks. All the while looking for the turning in the trees that led up the secluded road towards the Cullens' house. I was almost excited about seeing the house for the first time. I'd only heard stories about how big it was. But I was also excited to see the place Jasper used to live.

I shook my head as he drifted into my thoughts once again. Just as the image of his face flashed across my vision I saw the turning I was looking for. I slowed down and drove up the lane.

I could feel the anticipation building up inside me as the house came into view. My mouth fell open as I saw the house for the first time. The place was _massive_. It was undoubtedly the biggest and fanciest place in Forks. Hell, it was most probably the nicest place in the whole of this part of Washington.

There was a wall on the second floor that was completely made of glass. I couldn't stop my eyes from widening as they travelled across the length of the building. You only saw houses like this in the movies. There were at least six larger windows along the front of the house, and I found myself wondering whether one of those windows led into Jasper's room.

"Stop it, Angela," I muttered to myself as I opened the car door and got out. I took a deep breath and made my way up the front steps of the porch. I exhaled slowly then pressed the doorbell, waiting for someone to answer.

No less than a second later I heard someone opening the latch to do the door and the movie star doctor came into view.

"What can I do for you?" he asked politely as he gave me a warm smile.

"Is Bella here? I have her birthday present."

He nodded and told me to wait there while he went to get her. I had secretly been hoping that he'd invite me in. But that was just wishful thinking on my part. Bella appeared seconds later wearing a beautiful green dress.

"Wow, Bella, you look amazing," I gushed as she stepped out. She was about to reply when she tripped over her own foot and stumbled. I had to lunge forward to catch her so that she didn't fall down the porch steps.

There was a loud booming laugh from inside the house, just as Edward came to the door. How he knew that Bella had almost fallen over, I didn't know. But that wasn't what I was thinking about.

_Had that been Emmett's laugh just then? _My brow furrowed in confusion, I thought he was at college. But if he was back, did that mean…I shook my head before I could start thinking about Jasper again.

"Come on, Bella. Alice wants you to cut the cake, you know she doesn't like to wait," Edward murmured as he glanced at me briefly as if there was something he wasn't saying. Or at least didn't want to say in front of me.

"Okay," she murmured before turning back to me. Edward disappeared as I held out the gift bag to her.

"It's not much, but I hope you like it," I told her as she took the bag and gave me a hug.

"Thank you, Angela. I'll open it later with the rest of my presents," she told me as she looked back towards the front door. I guessed she wanted to go back inside.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded and we said our goodbyes before turned away from each other. I was about to get into my car when something caught my eyes in the trees just to the left of the house. I looked up, wondering whether it was a wild animal.

I gasped at what I saw. My heart started to beat irregularly in my chest as I took in the tall, lean figure walking into the forest.

"It can't be," I breathed as I stepped away from the car and started in his direction. My mind was screaming at me to get back into the car and drive away. But I wasn't listening to my mind; I was listening to my heart, and right now it was calling to him.

How could he be here? I thought he was at college. Hell, I thought most of them were at college, and yet I could have sworn it was Emmett I heard earlier. Did that mean they had all come back for Bella's birthday? I didn't realise she meant that much to them. I was suddenly hit with a wave of jealously at the idea of Jasper missing college just so that he could be here for Bella's birthday.

_Turn around,_ I thought to myself. But I overruled that command easily. I knew that turning around was the logical thing to do. But I just couldn't seem to stop my legs from following him. I hadn't seen him in so long. I just wanted to see his face.

But why did I have to be so stupid as to follow him into the forest just to do so? How the hell would I explain to him when he realised I was following him? What? _Oh, hey, Jasper, I'm just following you into the forest so we can catch up. It's been so long since I last saw you._ As if I could say that.

I was about to turn around, or at least that I told myself that anyway, when Jasper stopped moving. I froze to the spot I was standing just over twenty metres away from him. I held my breath, not daring to even breathe as I waited to see what he was about to do.

"Why are you following me, Angela?"

My heart thudded against my chest at his words. His voice sounded so harsh, so devoid of emotions that it made my blood run cold. But that wasn't what made my heart beat erratically, it wasn't what scared and excited me in equal measures.

How did he know that I had been following him? How did he know that it was _me _who was following him?

He turned around then, and I was struck at how dark his eyes looked. They were almost pitch-black as they stared at me. This was not the face I remembered in my dreams; this was not the Jasper I thought about. This Jasper was darker, sinister, and scarier than the Jasper I imagined.

"I…I…" I stuttered as I took a step forward, not knowing where I was going. But my foot caught on a gnarled tree root sticking out of the ground, and I tripped. I reached my hand out just in time, and caught hold of a stray branch. But in doing so, the skin on my hand scraped against a rough piece of bark, and cut into my hand.

I hissed at the pain and pulled my hand away, noting the blood that was already seeping out of the wound.

It all happened so quickly then.

An animalistic snarling sound rippled from Jasper's throat as he lunged towards me, at a speed that just wasn't possible. I screamed, and stumbled backwards just as there was a loud crashing sound and something blurred passed me, knocking Jasper from his path. The blur of movement smashed into a tree, breaking it in half.

Then suddenly, the forest was very much alive.

My eyes darted from the broken tree, where Emmett was wrestling with Jasper, trying to keep hold of him, to where Alice and Rosalie were sprinting into the area. Rosalie went straight to Jasper and pushed against his chest, all the while dodging the vicious snaps and bites he aimed at her.

The fear rolled through my body like a wave of nausea as I watched the situation unfold in front of me. I turned to look at Alice as she started to speak. She was standing away from us all, as if she was observing the situation, not wanting to get involved.

"Emmett, get Jasper away from the blood," Alice murmured in a vacant voice. Her eyes were filled with an emotion so strong, so defined that I had to look away from her. She looked so heartbreakingly disappointed.

Blood? Why would they need to get Jasper away from my…

The heat drained from my face as I thought about what she had just said. She told Emmett to get Jasper away from my blood. The same blood that had been affecting him, making him act the way he was.

Jasper wanted my blood.

The breath whooshed out of my body in one fell swoop as I realised what this meant.

Jasper _wanted _my blood.

Jasper was a…vampire?

I gasped aloud at the oh-so obvious truth.

But before I could do anything more Jasper's twin, Rosalie was in front of me. Her beautiful face was twisted into an angry sneer. Her eyes were filled with ice and hatred that I knew was directed at me.

"You saw _nothing_ here," she snarled. Her face was mere inches away from mine. "_Say_ it."

"I - I didn't see anything! I promise I won't tell anyone!" I stuttered as tears started to pour from my eyes. My voice trembled with fear as I finished, I didn't even bother to wipe my eyes. My heart did a painful somersault in my chest when she growled at me before turning around and taking off into the forest at a speed I couldn't comprehend.

Then at the click of a finger, they were all gone. The only evidence that they were ever here, was the ruined tree where Emmett had smashed into Jasper when he'd tried to attack me.

I still didn't understand how I hadn't noticed it before. All the signs were there for me to see. They never ate. They were never in school when the sun was shining. They were all pale white, and breathtakingly beautiful.

They were all vampires.

My name was Angela Weber, and I was in love with a vampire.

It was September the thirteenth. Or as I would now see it, it was the last day I ever saw the Cullens.

Or so I thought.

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**A/N: Hope you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N****: Chapter 1!**

**This story did start out as a one-shot, and from the start, I had every intention of making this a multi-chapter story. I just didn't really get around to writing the next chapter in full. But here it is, so I hope you like it.**

**This takes place three years after the prologue (as stated) and Angela is now twenty.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anyone, not even Angela's best friend. She is owned be my partner in crime, as is Angela's cat.**

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**Chapter One: A Tedious Life**

**Three Years Later**

I looked up to meet the gaze of the cute guy sitting across the library from me. He flashed me a smile, showing me his perfectly straight, white teeth. A frisson of electricity passed through us both, just from our small connection. Without stopping to close the book I was reading, I stood up and sashayed over to where he was sitting.

"Hi," I murmured seductively. "My name is Angela. What's yours?"

"Mark," he replied. His voice was marvellous and smooth. His full lips spread into another smile as I brushed my hands over his shoulder lightly. I signalled with my finger for him to follow me, as I stood up and walked towards one of the closest aisles.

Two minutes later we were pressed up against the cookery books in a heated make out session. My leg was hitched up around his waist, and I could already feel how much he wanted me.

"Excuse me, Miss? I'd like to sign this book out."

I snapped out of my daze and looked up at the pimple covered, grease ball of a teenage boy. I sighed and snatched the book from his hand. He had been in here nearly every day for the past two weeks. Only recently had he started calling me 'Miss'. It was getting tiresome. He was young enough for me to class him as a younger brother, not a potential boyfriend. Yet he still tried to give me a smile he thought I would like when I handed the book back to him.

I looked up then and saw the cute guy, Mark, sitting at one of the tables across the library from me. My eyes travelled slightly to his left and landed on the very pretty girl next to him. She was his girlfriend, of course.

He didn't know who I was, or at least, he knew me as the girl who worked in the library. That was all. The only reason I knew his name was because I'd scanned his library card into the system when he'd walked in.

I slumped forward and propped my head up with my hands. I glanced over at the cookery aisle and sighed. The only action those books were going to get was from the old woman who came in here to find new recipes to cook for her grandchildren.

I looked at the clock and felt a little bit better when I realised I only had one hour left of my shift. Not that I had some gorgeous boyfriend to go home to or anything.

I was the atypical twenty year old student. I worked in a library. I rarely went out clubbing, it just wasn't my thing. My sex life was nonexistent, and I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my part Siamese, part Persian cat, Aurora.

My life was boring. The highlight of said life, was buying a takeaway from the nearest Chinese restaurant, and kicking back with a good movie to watch. Yes, my life was exceptionally boring.

There was no excitement, no surprises, and no life threatening secrets being revealed. Not now, at least. Three years ago, maybe, but _definitely_ not now. Things had been so different back in junior year.

I could still remember that night pretty quickly. It had been Bella's birthday. I grimaced as I thought about my ex best friend. That was the last night I ever saw her, that _any _of us ever saw her.

She'd disappeared off the face of this Earth, just as the Cullens had. Her father, Charlie, had been distraught, and blamed it on the Cullens. Others said that she'd run away with Edward. Regardless of the gossip flying around, there had been a mainstream police investigation over her disappearance. Charlie threw everything he had into finding her. She was put onto the reported missing list straight away, and she was still on that list today.

I _wanted _to tell him that I'd seen her. I wanted to tell him what the Cullens really were. I wanted to help find my best friend. But I didn't say anything. Because whenever I got close to saying it, I would remember what she had said, Rosalie Hale, the beautiful, yet scary vampire.

"_You saw nothing here."_

So that was how it remained. I saw nothing that night. But it didn't stop me from throwing myself into my own personal research. I found out about a small clan, called the Quileute tribe, which told stories about vampires and werewolves. When I saw that they resided in La Push, I decided to pay them a visit.

I had asked a resident where I could go to hear one of those stories. They directed me straight towards the Black family house. Apparently I had to talk to a man named Billy. I remembered his son, vaguely, from when we'd gone surfing one time and he'd turned up and started talking to Bella.

When I first saw Billy, I thought that I had the wrong man. I was expecting something completely different. But regardless of his appearance, he invited me in and asked why I wanted to know about the old tribal legends.

I told him that I was doing a study of the Quileute tribe for school. Somehow, I don't think he believed me, but he still gave me an in depth description. It was fascinating, hearing him explain how the Quileute's were descendant from wolves, and that there were a whole tribe of them years and years ago.

However, it was when he started talking about the cold ones, that my interest really peaked. I knew, even though he didn't confirm anything that he was talking about the Cullens.

It was hard to full digest what he was saying. He said that the cold ones had been there before, back when his grandfather had been in charge. He also said that they claimed to be something different, not like the others of their kind.

I'd walked out of the house with a whole different outlook on the Cullens. It made the fact that I knew their secret ten times worse. They hadn't just been carrying the secret for a couple of years. They'd been carrying it for decades upon decades, and I knew that I was probably the only person in existence that knew, for definite, what they were.

I was jolted out of my thoughts once again as someone approached my desk. I looked up and smiled when I saw that it was the cute guy, Mark.

"I'd like to renew the books I've signed out, please," he said as he held out his library card. I was tempted to brush my finger against his as I took it, just in case he felt a connection between us and fell in love.

I inwardly rolled my eyes at my stupidity. I had read too many romance novels in my lifetime. They had clearly tainted my perception of guys and falling in love. Mark wouldn't feel a connection between us at all. He'd just get a little awkward because we'd touched each other.

I sighed, for real this time. _Touched__each__other;_ that made it sound much more exciting than what it actually was.

His girlfriend came to stand next to him then, and I tried not to pull a face when he gave her the smile I'd been imagining earlier.

"Here you go," I said as I handed the card back to him. "You have another three weeks on all the books you've taken out."

He nodded at me and turned away from the desk. My shoulders slumped as I watched them leave. Everything was alright for her. She had the cute guy to go home with. I didn't.

After I'd left Forks High, Ben and I split up. It just wasn't working out between us, and there wasn't any point in us starting a long distance relationship when I wasn't one hundred percent into it in the first place.

I still thought about Jasper a lot back then. I just couldn't get him out of my mind, and it was beginning to show. Even Ben noticed it. That had been the first thing to split us up.

I wasn't going to lie, and say that I still thought about Jasper everyday. Nor was I going to say that he still invaded my dreams every night, because he just didn't. Feelings fade over time. After a while, you stop thinking about someone when you don't see them anymore.

But it didn't stop my heart from flipping over in sickly surprise every time I saw someone who was just the right height, with the specific shade of honey blond hair that he had.

And every once in a while, I would allow myself to think back to those days when I was 'with' Jasper. Then once those moments were over, I'd snap out of it and move one, it was always the way.

I tapped my fingers on the desk as I waited for the computer to fully shutdown for the night. I pulled on my coat as I waited then picked up my bag as the monitor finally went black.

"Bye, Angela," Carla, my best friend, called out as I passed by her. She worked here, too, which was how we met. She was a lot like me in a way in that she didn't like going out and partying every weekend, either. However, there was one thing that made us different, and that was she had a boyfriend. Robbie, his name was, and he was pretty much perfect for her.

"See you later, Carla," I said with a quick wave of my hand. I pushed open the door and shied away slightly when the cold November wind blew into me. I pulled the coat up around my body and quickened my stride. It was times like these that I wished I had a car so that I didn't have to walk home every night.

Luckily for me, the library was only a ten minute walk away from the flat I lived in, and if I walked quickly, it took even less.

As I walked, however, I got the distinct impression that I was being watched, but when I scanned the area, there was no one in sight. So I shook my head, pinning the silly paranoia on the fact that it was really dark tonight.

Aurora came to meet me at the door as I stepped in. She purred at me softly before running off into the other room. Sometimes I think that my cat was crazy, just from the way she acted.

My stomach started rumbling the moment I took my coat off. I went straight into the kitchen and opened the fridge, then frowned when I realised I didn't have much of a choice for dinner.

_Should I make something from what is here? Or should I go out and buy a takeaway? _I asked myself. I pondered over the idea for less than a minute before going back out into hallway and pulling my coat on yet again.

Aurora made a strange hissing sound as I reached for the latch on the door. "I know you're hungry, but I am, too. I'll feed you when I'm back."

She spun around and walked away, head high and everything. I shook my head in amusement before stepping out of the building yet again. The walk was even shorter than the one from the library, which was an added incentive.

I smiled at the small woman behind the counter before placing my order of spring rolls and noodles, my favourite. The order took a couple of minutes to come in, but five minutes later I was walking towards the movie rental shop.

The young couple that ran the rental shop smiled at me as I walked in. I was quite a regular with them these days, which meant we knew each other's names. I envied them in that they always seemed to be happy. I don't think they had been married for long.

I went straight towards the far end of the shops. I'd pretty much gotten through most of the romantic comedies, and I wanted something different tonight. A smile formed on my face as my eyes landed on section of vampire movies.

After _it _had happened, I'd gone through a phase of buying every vampire movie I could get my hands on. I had quite a collection now at home, and took to watching some of them every once in a while.

I always wondered whether the vampires I saw in the movies and the Cullens were similar. Did they Cullens have fangs? Did they burn in the sunlight? Would a stake through the heart kill them? Did they sleep in coffins?

As the questions came to mind again, I laughed and shook my head. I'd seen Edward and Alice smiling a couple of times, and not once did I see any fangs poking around. I was certain that all the other myths and legends were exactly that, myths.

After making a quick decision, I grabbed one of the more recent vampire movies. I think it was going to be part of a trilogy, and those types of movies always interested me the most.

"Hi, Angela," Claire said, as I reached the desk. I greeted her and placed the DVD on the table before reaching for my purse and taking out my members' card. She smiled as she scanned the DVD.

"You do love you vampire films, don't you?"

I smiled rather coyly before shrugging. "I guess I find them interesting." _Or maybe it's because I met a couple of real vampires._

"Nothing wrong with that," she said, scanning the card in next. "Max loves the supernatural side of things. I tend to stay out of the room when he's watching those films. I'd rather not scare myself silly. He's even saying that he's going to make our little one a fan of the genre once he or she is born."

My eyes widened as she finished. "You're pregnant?"

She seemed to realise her mistake of letting it slip, but a second later, a happy smile formed on her face as she absentmindedly placed her hand over her stomach. "Yeah, we found out last week. I'm trying to keep it to myself, but I just can't stop mentioning it!"

"Well, congratulations," I said, feeling genuinely happy for her.

"Thanks," she replied as she handed me my card and the DVD. "You best get going, or else your food will get cold."

I nodded, all but forgetting that I had my dinner with me. I said goodbye to her quickly before leaving the shop, and making my way back home. It seemed to have gotten even colder since going into the shop, and I pulled my coat up around my face, keeping the cold out.

My mind wandered as I walked back home. I thought about Claire, mainly. Her and Max were only a couple of years older than what I was, and yet they were already married and now expecting a child.

It made me think about when I was going to meet _the one_ and have a family of my own. I was an only child, which meant that my parents had been expecting me to produce them grandchildren.

I grimaced at the thought. I was twenty, and single. Sure, I'd been with Ben, but it wasn't as if I had men lined up at my front door. More likely than not, you met the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with, in school. But I was single, and completely alone, especially since what had happened just over a year ago.

There had been an accident – a car accident. My parents had been in a head on collision with a reckless driver. They'd died instantly whilst the other driver managed to walk away with just a few broken bones and concussion. It had torn my world apart and made me doubt my beliefs completely. My parents had been good people, my father being a minister of God. Yet they had died, whilst the one in the wrong – the reckless driver - had survived. Why had God allowed that to happen? Why had he not saved them? My beliefs had been shredded the day of their funeral. That had been the last time I ever stepped into a church.

As I tried to blink away the tears forming in my eyes, a hand wrapped around my waist from behind, and before I had the chance to scream, a hand was clamped down over my mouth. I thrashed against the attackers hold, trying to scream, but not being able to get the air into my lungs to do so.

My heart started beating erratically in chest as my things fell to the ground, forgotten.

Before I could fully comprehend what was happening, I felt myself being pulled into a dark alleyway. My eyes, wide with fear, frantically scanned the area, trying to find someone, _anyone, _to help me.

But there wasn't anyone in sight, and no matter how hard I struggled to break free, I knew that I was trapped.

As the lights from the street got further and further away, my eyes filled with tears, knowing that I was about it die.

* * *

**A/N****: I'm not wasting time with this story, clearly. What did you think to this first chapter? I'd love to hear who you think has taken Angela, and what their motives were.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N****: Chapter 2!**

**I want to thank everyone who read/reviewed/alerted and added this story to their favourite list. I honestly wasn't expecting the response I received. Thank you a million times over. I just hope you're not disappointed by this chapter.**

**Disclaimer****: The only thing I own is this storyline. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Questions**

My heart was pounding, threatening to burst out of my chest. The hand that was over my mouth was tight, making it hard for me to breath. I tried to struggle to break free once again, but my mind was clouded, disorientated due to the lack of oxygen.

The hand was removed from my mouth, but before I had the chance to scream, everything went black.

* * *

For the first few seconds after I awoke, I thought everything was normal. But the moment I opened my eyes, I knew that it wasn't.

The room I was in held no light. It was almost as if the windows had been boarded up. The darkness scared me, and I tried to move and curl my legs against my body. But as I tried to move, I realised that my hands were tied together, and not only that, but were tied to the bed frame I was lying on.

I whimpered and my eyes filled with tears once again. The room was too silent, which meant that my attacker wasn't here. I was alone. I was tied up, and alone, with no chance of escape.

Where did he go? Why did he leave me here? Was he coming back? I wasn't sure what I preferred, either being left here alone in the dark, or being able to see, but with my attacker in the same room.

After choosing the former option, I realised that even though I couldn't see now, I would still be able to hear things. If and when he came back, it would be unlikely that he would sit in complete darkness, meaning that unless he blindfolded me, I would be able to see his face.

I shuddered at the thought of being blindfolded. Granted, it would be a lot like now, in that I wouldn't be able to see, but at least I knew that he wasn't in here with me. If I was blindfolded, then that would mean I wouldn't be able to see his next movement. What if he tried to hurt me? I wouldn't see it coming. I wouldn't be able to prepare myself for the pain.

I began crying harder and started pulling on the tie around my wrists, trying to free my hands. It was futile, but I kept pulling, feeling the material rubbing against my bare skin, irritating it.

"Why me?" I sobbed, choking on the tears. "Why did you have to take me?"

As the sobs wracked through me, I yanked my wrists down, knowing that I was going to dislocate, or break a bone quicker than getting free, and if I wasn't careful, I would probably cut into my skin, making it bleed.

"Come on," I half begged, half groaned as I pulled until it started to really hurt. I cried out when the pain got too much, and I let my arm fall limp against the bed. I was stuck here.

"Stop struggling."

My heart leapt into my throat as my whole body froze. I wanted to scream, but the fear within my chest was preventing me from doing anything. It wasn't just that he was _here_ in the room with me, when moments ago, I was the only noise in the room. It was that his voice, the emotionless baritone, was something I had heard before.

Even after three years, I could still remember.

For the next minute that passed, the room was completely silent. I didn't dare _breathe_ heavily because even that sounded too loud. With wide, scared eyes, I strained to hear him. But like before, the room was silent, _he_ was silent. It was almost as if he was never here.

The moment that thought came into my mind, I began questioning myself. Had I really heard someone speak? But it wasn't just someone, it was _him_. Did I really hear _him_ speak?

The back of my neck was aching softly. It was obviously where my attacker had hit me, knocking me unconscious. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I was the only person in the room.

When I thought about it more, I began to wonder why he, of all people, and after three years of being absent, would be here again tonight. But before I could fully accept the idea of hallucinating hearing his voice, I heard a switch being flipped, and suddenly the room was illuminated with light.

My eyes felt as if they were burning from the sudden light, and I turned my head away instantly, closing my eyes to block the light out. I didn't move again, more out of fear of what I would see, rather than waiting for my eyes to adjust to the light.

I could almost hear my heart as it pounded rapidly in my chest. What was I going to see when I turned around? Would it really be _him_? Or would I find out that this was yet another figment of my imagination?

Even though it was less than a minute since the lights had been switched on, it still felt as if an hour had passed before I slowly started turning towards him. My eyes stung as I directed them towards the light.

But that pain was forgotten, _everything_ was forgotten the moment I saw him.

My memories had not done justice to the real thing, and yet, he was exactly as I remembered him. His hair, the same shade of honey blond, was still wavy, and there were two stray curls hanging down into his eyes, just like always.

His eyes, too, were the same, and even though they were now a light golden colour, they were still, in some sense, as dark as ever. His brooding expression was familiar, and in that moment, he looked as if he had aged decades, yet not a single day, all at the same time.

I had to look away when I felt my mind and body being overwhelmed by his presence. As I did so, I released the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. But even so, I could still see him in my peripheral vision, and I could still see that he was staring at me.

My thoughts tumbled over each other as I tried to process the situation I had found myself in. Jasper was here, completely motionless, but _here_. The subsequent thought, was to wonder _why_ he was here, and why the hell he was kidnapping me in the process. Forget that, why was he tying me up? What had I done to him to make him act like this with me now?

"Why did you tie me up?" My voice broke through the atmosphere in the room, and I inhaled quickly before returning my gaze to him. The tone in my voice surprised me. It wasn't confident, as such, but it was something close to it.

He gave me a long, hard stare, and I fought the urge to look away again. I thought he wasn't going to answer me, but then his eyes flickered towards my hands, and they stayed there as he answered.

"There was something I had to do, and I couldn't leave you here knowing that you could get away before I talked to you. You would have gone to the police, and my opportunity would be gone."

Only once he finished speaking did he meet my eye again. I nodded, knowing that there was something he wasn't telling me, but also knowing I wasn't going to ask him to expand on what he had said.

Instead, I whispered, "You could have untied me when you came back."

This time, he didn't answer me, but I could tell that he knew I was right just from the look on his face.

It went silent and I couldn't think of anything to break that silence. He'd said before that he wanted to talk to me, but what did he want to talk to me about? A part of me wanted to ask him, but there was a part of me, a more dominant part of me, that wanted to wait for him to approach the subject.

The silence stretched on, and I began wondering what he was waiting for. He just stood there staring at me, yet looking straight through me, all at once. The expression on his face made it look as if he was trying to work out a hard equation, just not being able to find the answer he was looking for.

"How are you not scared of me?" he asked, finally breaking the silence. For the briefest of moments, his expression was sad, tortured. But the stone cold mask was back in place a second later. It was as if he didn't want me to see what he was feeling, and so he was masking it.

"Why should I be scared of you?" I replied, mumbling, and answering his question with a question. Granted, I didn't feel completely at ease in his company, but I wasn't scared, I knew that much.

Instead of answering, he took a step towards me, and even though I _wasn't _scared of him, I still felt my body tense in preparation of whatever he was going to do.

"Because, Angela," he said, coming to stand directly next to me and reaching for the tie around my wrists. "I can kill you with a single flick of my hand."

As he spoke, he pulled the material apart, freeing my hands. His voice hadn't even faltered, or sounded strained as he did that, and I knew that what he was saying was true. He could kill me without even having to try.

"But you won't," I said as I sat up and rubbed the sore area on my wrists. I didn't want my response to sound like a question, yet as the words left my lips, it sounded as if I was asking for his reassurance.

"No, I won't," he said as he took a step away from me and went back to the spot he had been standing in before. "I could, but I made a promise that I would keep you alive."

I was unable to speak as he finished. He had made a promise to keep me _alive_? I exhaled quickly, in shock. It was in that moment that I realised he wasn't here for a visit, as absurd as that notion was in the first place, given the situation. No, this was serious, and what had happened three years ago was only the start.

But before I could question him on what he meant, and _who_ he had made that promise to, he continued. "You have to tell me what you know about me and my family."

"I don't know anything," I answered immediately, not even thinking about it. It was a kneejerk reaction, something I couldn't help. Whenever I had been asked about the Cullens, I always told them that I didn't know anything. So now, even after three years, my response was still the same.

"You and I both know that is a lie," he said, staring at me intensely. I didn't answer him because I _couldn't _answer him. His gaze was too intense, and it literally made me hold my breath until I broke the stare.

"Why did you kidnap me?" I asked. Not only was I changing the subject, but I was letting out the question I had in my mind from the start. "You could have called my name, or…or…_anything_. Why did you have to be so…violent?"

"Violence is all I know." His response elicited a shudder from my body. His voice was cold and detached, and his reply had been automatic, he didn't even have to think about it. But what was most obvious, was that there was no hint of a lie in his voice. Violence was all he knew. I shuddered again, looking away.

It was silent, and I knew that I had to steer away from the fact that he was dangerous. But as I tried to change the direction of my thoughts, I was reminded of _that_ day three years ago. I'd known he was dangerous then, but it seemed as if I was only truly realising it now.

If only I had gone home after seeing Bella, then maybe things would have been different for us all.

Then I remembered. _Bella_.

"Where's Bella?" He didn't answer, nor did he show any signs of even _hearing _me speak.

So I tried again. "Is she okay?"

When he still didn't answer, I knew that I wasn't going to get anything out of him regarding Bella and her whereabouts. Did that mean he didn't know where she was? Or did it mean that he just didn't want to tell me? There was a tiny voice in the back of my mind that told me the latter was most accurate.

"Why won't you answer my questions?" My voice was quiet and there was a hint of sadness that I wished wasn't there. But I couldn't help it. I wanted to find out if Bella was okay, after all these years of not knowing, and his continued silence was slightly unnerving.

"I ask you a question, and you do not answer," he began, and even though his voice was still a flat monotone, there was a tiniest hint of incredulity. "Yet you expect me to answer all of yours."

"I did answer you question," I mumbled, looking down at my lap.

"Yes, you did. But you lied," he shot back curtly. "But I wish that what you had said was true because it would make this so much easier for me."

My brow furrowed. What he said confused me. It was as if he was constantly talking in indecipherable riddles.

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping he would answer my question properly this time.

But he didn't. "Just tell me what you know, and then this can be over."

I sighed, as once again, his response left me with more questions. _What _can be over if I answered? Regardless of whether or not I knew why he needed my answer so badly, I knew that I could tell him right now. But I also knew that once I told him, he would leave, and I didn't want that. I didn't want him to leave, not yet.

"I told you, I don't know anything," I answered, not looking him in the eye. "A lot has happened since then…I forgot things. I don't remember anymore."

The lies poured out of my lips one after another, and it was _obvious_ that I was lying. There wasn't a chance in _hell_ that I had forgotten that day. Sure, a lot _had _happened, but not enough to make me forget.

"Who did you tell?" he asked, not bothering to call me out on my lie again. He sounded angrier now, as if my lack of truthful responses was getting on his nerves.

"I didn't tell anyone," I answered immediately, honestly.

He nodded, looking towards the door. "I believe you."

He seemed to take a deep breath then, and he grimaced as he did so.

"Who will notice that you are missing tonight?" he asked, his question taking me by surprise. I looked away, not wanting him to see the answer on my face straight away. I wanted to tell him that there as someone at home waiting for me. But he knew when I was lying, so what was the point of lying about this? It would make me look pathetic, and even though he probably didn't care, I still didn't want that.

"Nobody," I whispered, feeling my eyes fill with tears. I was alone, and his question reminded me of that fact. Nobody would notice that I was missing, except Aurora, of course. But what was Aurora going to do? Nothing. It would have been days before anyone noticed that I was missing.

"Then you will stay here for the rest of the night," he said. There was nothing in his tone that told me he noticed my sudden unhappiness. "When you wake up, you'll leave this room and will go home. You won't tell anyone about what happened here tonight. When you leave, there will be no need to return the key to the main desk as you can leave the door unlocked."

I nodded, even though he clearly did not need a response. "Will you be here when I wake up?"

For once, my question caught him off guard, and I saw a different emotion in his eyes, it was indecipherable, but it was different from the dark look that usually filled them.

"I'm not staying," he told me, his voice taking on a monotonous inflection once again.

The moment his words reached my ears, the panic set into my chest. I knew already in the back of my mind, that he wasn't going to stay here, but to hear him say it, made me panic. I didn't want to be left here alone.

"You're leaving me here?" I whispered. It was evident in my voice that I was scared, and I hated that it was so obvious.

He nodded curtly. "I have to."

I felt the rims of my eyes burn with tears once again as he turned away from my and went towards the light switch. I stared at him, taking in every last detail I could before he flipped the switch, and I was submerged into darkness once again.

In a twisted sense, I was more scared now, than what I had been when I had woken up. The tears spilled over and trickled down my cheeks as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Please," I sobbed, not trying to hide the fact that I was scared anymore. "Please don't leave me here alone." _Stay with me._

My response was silence, and I was certain that he was already gone. I sunk back onto the pillow, curled my body into a ball, and then filled the silence with me tears.

* * *

**A/N****: So, what did you think? It was indeed Jasper that grabbed her. I know that Jasper shouldn't have tied her up, but he had to hunt (which was what he had to do). If you're wondering why he didn't do that before, then you have to understand that Angela makes Jasper thirsty. Angela isn't his singer, but after being in contact with her blood three years ago, it's harder for Jasper to be around her.**

**I've written a lot of Jasper centric stories/one-shots, but this one is by far the darkest Jasper I've ever written.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N****: Chapter 3!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter or added it to their alert/favourite list. It amazes me how my story, still relatively new, has received this much attention already. Usually it takes about ten chapters to get to this stage!**

**Anyway, I hope you like the chapter. I'm a bit unsure about the middle, but I hope you like it. There isn't any Jasper, but he's mentioned – a lot.**

**Disclaimer****: If these characters were my own, I wouldn't enjoy messing with them so much.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Fear**

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the same position I had been in the night before. I uncurled my legs from my body, wincing as I stretched my stiff muscles. As I moved, it was then that I noticed something that hadn't been there the night before.

Sitting on the table was now a bottle of water, and a pack of sandwiches. Without thinking, I snatched at the bottle of water, pulled the cap off instantly and gulped down half the bottle in one go. I then grabbed the sandwiches, not bothering to see what the outer packaging said as I tore it open. I was going to give myself indigestion if I wasn't careful, but I was too hungry to care.

After my stomach had been sufficiently filled, and the water was finished, I began thinking about the previous nights events. The situation seemed too surreal to me, and if I was waking up in my own bed, and not this unfamiliar one, I would have said that it was all a dream.

Jasper was back, and he wanted to find out what I knew about his family. It made no sense to me why he would come back after three years. Why did he need to know all of a sudden?

The more I thought about the answer to the question, the more curious I became to know the truth. But I knew that I wasn't going to get my answers today. He was gone, and I didn't know how to contact him.

As I stood up, looking around the room for any possessions, I thought about whether I actually wanted to contact him or not. He was dangerous, and regardless of whatever feelings towards him I had, he was not safe to be around anymore.

Remembering his instructions last night, I left the keys on the table and took my trash outside. I squinted slightly when the light flashed into my eyes. I wasn't sure what time it was, and after being in the dark room all night, it felt good to be outside again.

Ignoring the fact that he had told me not to go to the front desk, I made my way towards the office area, needing to find out my location and possibly using their phone.

As I walked in, I quickly went towards the bin and placed my rubbish in it before turning towards the desk where a middle aged male was sitting.

"Are you the one with the pale blond guy?" he asked as I approached him. I froze, my heart beating erratically in my chest. How did he know about Jasper? Had Jasper talked to him?

When I realised that he was waiting for a response, I nodded, finding myself unable to speak.

"He said you'd probably be coming in here at some point this morning," the man continued. "I've got a taxi on standby for you to get home. He paid for your fare earlier this morning, as he said you'd probably not have enough money on you to pay the full price."

I tried to listen to everything he was saying, but after he said _this morning_, I was unable to hear anything else. Jasper had talked to him this morning? Did that mean Jasper had come back after leaving me last night? Why would he do that for me?

"You said this morning," I whispered, my voice barely there. "How long ago was he here?"

The man's eyebrows furrowed, as if I'd said something absurd. "Can you not remember him leaving this morning?"

For a moment, his words didn't register in my mind, then when they did, my heart skipped a beat.

"I was alone when I woke up," I said, not understanding why those words were the only ones that would come to me.

"Oh," the man said, looking away awkwardly. "Well, I saw him leaving the room about twenty minutes ago or so. I don't know why he didn't stay longer. I know that if it were me, I would have waited for you to wake up."

Once again, I barely registered his words after he informed me that he'd seen Jasper leaving the room only twenty minutes ago. Was it possible that he had answered my plea and stayed with me all night? I shook my head, knowing it wasn't very probable.

"Is the taxi on its way?" I asked, suddenly urgent to get away from this place as soon as possible.

He shook his head and told me that he would call them now. I didn't say anything more as I went to sit down on the couch in the waiting area. I stared out the window, yet not seeing a single thing. All I could think about was Jasper and what had happened.

Not only had he possibly stayed with me last night, when he had clearly stated that he had to leave, he had also brought me breakfast and paid for my ride home. It seemed far too surreal to me, and I found it hard to comprehend, considering he had been the one to kidnap me less than twenty four hours ago.

I began tapping my foot against the carpeted floor, watching the clock. It was just passed ten in the morning, and I wanted nothing more than to go home, and see Aurora again. I knew that she didn't like it when I left her alone for long periods of time, and I began to worry, wondering whether she had found something to eat.

Finally the man that had been sitting behind the desk came to find me, telling me that the taxi was waiting outside. I thanked him quickly then went outside. The driver looked kind, and smiled at me as he asked where I wanted to go. As I told him my address, I sat back in the chair, not turning back to look at the motel as we drove away.

When he finally pulled up outside my block of apartments, he said goodbye, even waiting for me to go inside before he drove away. I quickly made my way up the stairs, and then rummaged in my pockets for the keys. It was a miracle that they hadn't fallen out of my pocket during the night.

I quickly pushed the door open, shutting it behind me and locking it once again. As I looked around, I felt the sense of safety wash over me. I called out to Aurora, but when I didn't get any type of response out of her, I walked into the main room, wondering if she was curled up under the table.

But when I saw what was _on_ the table, I froze, my whole body going cold. My breath came out in short puffs as I began to shake in fear. I whipped around, suddenly feeling as if someone was behind me. When all I saw was Aurora, I quickly ran to her, picking her up into my arms.

I then retreated to the far end of the room, pressing my back against the wall as I scanned the doorways leading out of this room. I strained my ears for any noise, but like last night, the only sounds I heard were coming from me.

When I finally allowed my eyes to look away from the doorways, I returned my gaze to the table, where my bag and rented DVD sat upon it. The same bag and rented DVD I'd had with me yesterday, just before Jasper kidnapped me, and it was the same bag and rented DVD that I had dropped in the struggle.

I remained stock still, staring at the items on the table. There was only one person who could have had access to those possessions, knowing that they were mine. As the fear rippled through me, I thought about what it meant for my things to now be here, in my apartment.

It could only mean one thing. Jasper had been here, in this room, in this apartment. He'd come into the one place I felt safe, and had made me scared of my surroundings. I clutched at Aurora tighter, wondering whether she saw him, and whether she reacted to his presence.

I didn't know how long I stood there, holding Aurora. But when she started squirming in my arms, I knew that I had to move. I placed her down on the floor slowly, before going towards the table.

I stared at the bag cautiously, as if I was anticipating it to suddenly self destruct. I took a deep breath, reaching a shaking hand out towards it. My fingers clasped around the handle, and I slowly pulled the midsection open, peering inside cautiously.

When it looked exactly as I remembered, I let out a long, shaky breath. I then cussed myself for my stupidity. Not only was I scared of the damn bag, I was also expecting to find something that hadn't been in there before.

Aurora hissed once again, and my whole body jumped in fright. I held my hand against my heart, turning around to face her. This was just getting ridiculous. I wasn't going to spend the rest of the day jumping and getting scared of every little thing.

"Get a grip," I muttered to myself as I made my way into the kitchen, knowing that Aurora was only hissing because she was hungry. I opened a tin of cat food, and scooped it into her bowl before placing it on the floor by my feet.

I watched her eat for a while before going towards the fridge to get something for myself. But as I stared at the food I had, I realised that I really wasn't feeling hungry anymore. In the end, I settled on just a glass of water.

Once Aurora was finished, she followed me back into the main room where I sat down on the couch, flipping on the TV. But after scanning the various channels, I realised that there wasn't anything interesting to watch, and I switched it off a moment later.

As I sat there in silence, my eyes kept travelling back towards my bag on the table. I still couldn't understand how Jasper had managed to get in here without a key. The thoughts that came next, was to wonder whether Jasper had looked around my apartment.

The sudden flash of embarrassment and self-consciousness was irrational, and I shook my head, ridding the thoughts from my mind. But as those emotions faded, I found myself staring at the bag once again.

After a long moment passed in absolute silence, I reached for my phone, dialling Carla's number. I needed a distraction from Jasper, and Carla was my best option right now.

She answered on the third ring. "Hey, Angela, what's up?"

"Nothing much," I lied, instantly feeling bad. "I was just wondering if you could come over before work."

"Oh right, sure," she said, not sensing that I had lied, or at least, not indicating that she knew. "I'll be over in a little while then."

I smiled, feeling better now that I knew there was going to be someone else here to occupy my mind. I brushed my fingers through Aurora's fur as I waited for Carla to turn up.

Even though I knew she was going to arrive soon, I still jumped out of my skin the moment she knocked on the door. As soon as I recovered, I was up and opening the door, letting her in. I tried to put on a normal charade, but she saw through it straight away.

"Angela, what's wrong?" she asked no less than a minute after she'd walked in. I sighed and sat down heavily on the chair, looking back towards my bag once again.

After taking another deep breath, I opened my mouth, preparing to tell her what had happened. But the second I did so, I heard his voice, as clear as if he was standing next to me, saying _'you won't tell anyone about what happened here tonight'_.

Faltering, I closed my eyes. Even though the binding powers were indiscernible, they were bound from the strongest iron. No matter how much I wanted to share what had happened last night, I just couldn't, and it scared me a little bit to realise that.

"Come on, Ang, you're worrying me," she murmured, sitting down next to me and taking my hand. I turned to look at her, seeing the concerned expression etched across her face. "What happened?"

"Someone tried stealing my bag last night," I finally told her, lying, but better than telling her it was nothing. "Now I'm just…feeling jumpy, I guess."

"Oh my God," she gasped. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you? What did you do? Have you called the police?"

I shook my head, unintentionally answering a number of the questions she'd just fired at me.

"I'm okay, just still a bit shaken. They didn't hurt me, and I didn't call the police, as there's nothing to tell them," I told her, then signalled towards the damned bag on the table. "I've still got my bag, so that person didn't commit any crimes apart from scaring me."

She looked towards the table before turning to look back at her. "Did you recognise their face?"

The irony of what she had just said rendered me speechless for a moment. Did I recognise him? Oh, yes, I definitely recognised him.

"No, I didn't see their face properly," I said, grimacing slightly knowing that I was completely lying through my teeth now. But there was a part of me that was glad that I decided to lie. For as much I wanted to share what happened, I didn't want to drag her into this mess. It just wasn't fair on her.

"Okay, well, I think you should change your shifts this week so that you don't have to walk back in the dark," she said, still sounding unsure about the whole situation.

Smiling weakly, I squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Carla, but I'll be okay. It won't happen again."

She looked like she didn't believe me, but she nodded slowly nonetheless, not bothering to argue with me, which I was grateful for.

After being in someone else's company, my appetite returned to me, and I ended up making us both some lunch. We talked for a while longer about something totally unrelated to Jasper and the 'bag snatcher', until I had to get ready for work.

Thankfully, Carla waited for me to get ready, and coincidently, we had the same shifts today, so once I was ready, we walked together. I began feeling much more at ease as we walked towards the library. I knew that if I had been alone, I would have been too lost in my thoughts, and might have walked in front of a moving car by accident.

I felt even better as I walked into the library itself. I scanned my card in, and said hello to the woman in charge. I sat down at the desk, and began scanning through the large pile of books that was sitting next to me.

It was a tedious task to carry out, but it occupied my mind, and helped me to think about something that wasn't Jasper. I was about three books away from completing the pile, when I heard Carla calling my name.

"Angela," she whispered, signalling me over.

"What's up?" I asked as soon as I was near enough. She pulled me around to one of the aisles, as if she was trying to talk to me in private, or that she didn't want someone to hear us talking.

"Don't look now, but there is a guy sitting in the corner watching you," she told me in a serious voice, and instantly I knew it wasn't my pimple covered admirer. This was someone different.

"What does he look like?" I asked, slightly anxious.

She thought it over for a brief moment. "He's quite tall, and for lack of a better word, he looks like a Greek God with honey blond hair. It's kind of wavy and hangs down around his eyes a bit."

I froze. There was only one person I knew that could have attributes like that. "Is he pale?" I whispered, my voice wavering. As soon as I finished speaking, I began to feel scared about what her response would be.

When she nodded, I exhaled quickly and bit my lip into my mouth, to stop it from trembling.

"Yeah," she said. "Do you know him?"

"I know him from high school," I told her, almost breathlessly so in fact. My mind was reeling, trying to work out why he was here, and why he was watching me, of all things.

"Well, he's definitely here to see you. Although, I think it's a bit strange how he is just sitting there. I would tell you to go over there and talk to him, but from the way he was staring at you, he actually seems a bit… intimidating."

"Do you think I should go talk to him?" I asked, wondering whether I was ready to go talk to him again. What would I say to him? _It's nice to see you again, Jasper. So, why exactly are you watching me? _Sure, that would go down well.

"I don't know, I mean, he must be here to talk to you, but why hasn't be approached you already?"

I frowned. _Maybe he only approached people when it was dark outside, _I thought to myself sarcastically.

"I think I'm going to talk to him," I said, then nodded objectively. "No, I _am_ going to talk to him, right now."

She gave me a quizzical look as if she was curious as to why I was psyching myself up to talk to him. But I shook my head at her and went around the corner, suddenly craving answers to the burning questions in my mind. But as I looked in the direction of his table, my stomach dropped.

He wasn't there.

That was the first time I realised Jasper was watching me.

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**A/N****: So, what do you think? Did Jasper stay all night, even when he said that he had to leave? What about the ending? Jasper was watching her, yet when she decided to talk to him, he'd disappeared. I wonder what is going on in that mind of his.**

**Please review! If you do, I'll give you a teaser to the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N****: Chapter 4!**

**Sorry for the wait, I kind of got sucked into writing stuff for one of my other stories for a while.**

**Thank you to all my followers of this story. Four chapters and I already have 43 reviews. This is completely new for me. My stories never get this noticed with only four chapters.**

**Anyway, I hope you like the chapter.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Jasper or Angela. But I turn Jasper into a dark, scary vampire. *crosses out scary and puts sexy***

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**Chapter Four: Jasper's Intentions**

I was back in the DVD rental shop, returning the DVD I'd rented _that _night. After being thoroughly put off of watching it, I gave it back to her, saying it hadn't been as interesting as I first thought.

I wasn't sure what it was about the DVD; I just suddenly didn't feel comfortable watching a vampire movie now that a real one was back in my life. It still made me feel strange just thinking like that. A _real _vampire was back in my life. I had to get used to that idea pretty quickly last year, but I didn't have to get used to it whilst they were around. But now he was here, and it was as if things were finally sinking into place.

Claire and I had talked for a while about her pregnancy. She still hadn't told her family yet, choosing to wait a little longer before telling them the good news. I could understand why she wanted to get used to the idea first. I wasn't sure what I would have been like if it were me, but then again, I wouldn't have anyone to tell the news to, and before I made myself cry, I had to move onto a different topic.

I'd rented another movie, a romantic comedy, this time, and had left, only to be called back my Max a moment later.

"Hey, Angela," he shouted, making me turn around again. "You forgot your card with Claire just now."

I frowned, knowing that I had picked it up and put it in my purse. I was about to shout back to him that I had it right here, when I saw the expression on his face. It was as if he was nervous about something, or worried, I wasn't sure which. But that alone made me walk back in the direction of the shop.

"What's wrong?" I inquired as he led me back inside the shop. He scanned the area outside before shutting the door behind him.

"I think someone was following you," Claire said with a hint of fear in her voice. She glanced towards the door, to Max, then back to me again.

My heart did a sickly somersault in my chest at her words. "What? How do you know?"

My voice was shaking and I looked back towards the door, wondering if the person was still out there, waiting for me to come out again. I shivered delicately at the thought and cringed away from the door.

"He was in the shop," Claire began, making me freeze completely. "I wondered what he was doing, but then when you left, he followed you right out. I watched him from the window, and he was following right behind you."

"However, when I went out to call for you, he wasn't there," Max said, completing Claire's sentence a second after she finished speaking.

"But the thing is, I looked out the window just before Max left, and the guy was still there," Claire continued. When she finished, her teeth started gnawing at her bottom lip.

"What did he look like?" I asked; my voice barely there anymore.

"He had messy blond hair and really pale skin," Claire answered, and immediately I felt some of the tension fade from my body, knowing that it wasn't a stranger. Yet as that tension faded, it seemed to come right back again as I realised that seeing him in the library wasn't the only time he had been watching me.

"It was Jasper," I whispered, looking away as I thought about what that meant. First he was there in the library, and now he was here, following me around in the evening. My brow furrowed and I tried to work out what his intentions were, but nothing came to mind.

"You _know _him?" Max asked, incredulous.

I nodded slowly, still in a daze-like state. "We used to go to school together."

"Why the hell is he following you around if you know each other?" he continued, sounding almost angry. "I'm sorry, Angela, but that doesn't add up. I'm going to walk you home just to be on the safe side."

"No, it's okay, really. But thank you," I told him, feeling touched that he was worried about me, and wanted to make sure I got home okay. "He's not going to hurt me. I think he's…watching over me."

It was the only explanation I could come up with. He wasn't talking to me, but he was watching me. For all I knew, he could be nearby at all times, I just didn't realise.

"I should go," I finally said. "But thank you for calling me back in here. If the situation was different, I don't know what…"

I couldn't finish my sentence, and instead, resorted in taking a few steps towards the door. Neither of them looked convinced in the slightest, but I gave them a quick smile, telling them that it was okay, then said goodbye.

As soon as I stepped outside, I was on high alert. I looked around, knowing that I wouldn't see him, but searching for him nonetheless. The street lights were bright, yet it still felt too dark for my liking.

I found myself walking faster, trying to get home quicker. As I could feel it again, the sensation that I was being watched, and this time, I knew that I was. Jasper was out there, watching me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Finally, I approached my apartment building, and I quickly ran up the steps, desperate to get inside. But as I reached the top step, I stopped and turned back towards the street, scanning the dark area.

"Where are you, Jasper?" I whispered to myself as I looked up and down the deserted street. I sighed, shaking my head, knowing that this was just ridiculous. I pushed the door open, and made my way towards the stairs. I was about halfway up when I finally heard the door closing behind me. I frowned, realising that the door had taken a long time to close.

But I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I got my keys out and unlocked the door. As soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by Aurora, who began hissing at me.

"Now what is your problem?" I asked, closing the door behind me. At first, she carried on hissing, and as I went to hang my coat up, she moved away the door, her fur standing up on its ends. I frowned, knowing that she only acted like that when she sensed something she didn't like.

I felt the same sensation as earlier. It wasn't that I thought someone was watching me this time, that just wasn't possible, but I felt as if someone was close by. I quickly went towards the door and took a deep breath before looking through the spy hole in the door.

The hallway was empty, and I wasn't really sure what I was expecting. It wasn't as if I was going to see Jasper waiting in the hallway. I shook my head quickly as I stepped away and back into the main room. But to fully put my mind at ease, I scuttled over to the window and scanned the streets below. There was nothing out of the ordinary outside either.

_What am I doing? _I inwardly thought to myself. _This is ridiculous._

I shook my head at my silly behaviour and made my way into the kitchen to prepare us both something to eat. But before I could do anything, she came running in, did a circle of the kitchen then ran back out again.

I let out a quick laugh, relaxing, as I went for the plastic ball she liked playing with. I knew what my cat was like, and I knew that she just wanted someone to play with. Keeping the ball in my hands, I went into the other room.

My heart leapt into my throat as the ball fell from my hand, rolling somewhere unseen. I tried to regulate my breathing as my heart spluttered back into a quick pace.

"H-How did you get in here?" I whispered as I watched him standing in the middle of my room, staring at me with little feeling. I quickly glanced down at his clothing, noticing that he had changed since last seeing him. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, really, but it surprised me. Did that mean he was living nearby?

"Do you usually leave your door unlocked once you're inside for the night?" he asked, his voice rather monotonous. His question elicited a shiver to travel through my body. Something in the back of my mind told me that a locked door would do nothing to stop him from getting inside if it was really what he wanted to do.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to get out as I swallowed over my now dry throat.

"You know what it is what I want – _need_ – for you to tell me." There was a hint of irritation in his voice that wasn't there before, and I knew in that moment he thought that I would have cracked and given him the answer he needed already. He probably expected me to tell him the same day he kidnapped me. But things had changed; I guess I wasn't the same Angela I was back in school.

"You want to know what I found out about your family."

He didn't nod, or even change his expression. He just remained silent, as if he were giving me the time to answer his question. But I didn't say a thing, choosing instead to remain silence. He looked slightly menacing as the silence stretched on, and I wasn't even sure why I hadn't told him everything I knew yet. Sure, I had said I wanted him to stay around, but hell, he was _dangerous_. I didn't know what he would do to get the information out of me.

I inwardly shook my head at my last thought. This wasn't a movie, he wasn't about to torture me till I told him everything I knew. But what I did know was true, was that there was a small amount of confidence growing inside my chest, and that was what I happened to be feeding off tonight.

"Are you still refusing to answer my questions, Angela?" he asked, sounding tired all of a sudden.

"Are you going to refuse to answer mine?" I replied, feeling my small amount of confidence growing. Wherever it was coming from, I hoped it stayed for a while longer. I needed this confidence if I was going to continue talking to him.

"If your questions are reasonable, and you answer some of mine – truthfully – then yes, I will answer your questions," he finally said after a long moment of tense silence.

I nodded quickly. "Okay."

"How much do you know about me and my family?"

_So much for ladies first_, I thought to myself. "I know a lot," I answered simply, giving him a truthful answer, yet evading the real one he was after.

I watched as the muscles in his jaw tightened, and he fixed a long, steely gaze on me. I had the impression that he was trying to scare me into tell him, and I had to admit, I was feeling a little intimidated.

Swallowing heavily, I moved on. "I answered your question; now tell me where Bella is."

"She's with Edward. Tell me what you know," he said through gritted teeth.

I sighed, gnawing at my bottom lip. "Anyone could have told me that she was with Edward."

I could tell that he was going to play that kind of game with me. But I guess I was asking for it, considering I was doing the exact same thing back to him when I answered his questions.

"Answer the question," he hissed, his voice low, calculated.

I felt fear brewing in the pit of my stomach at the sound of his voice. I felt my hands beginning to tremble by my side, and I wasn't sure where this fear came from. It felt too sudden, as if it had came all at once. Fear was not like that. Fear started out slowly, and then it multiplied as the moments passed, but not this fear. It was instant.

"You're different," I choked out, my voice wavering, making it obvious that I was scared.

"How different?" he pressed, not showing any indication that he knew I was scared, just like always. But as he spoke, I felt the emotions bubbling inside me simmer down, and I seemed to relax a little. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but whatever it was, I had the strangest feeling that my body was reacting strangely to having Jasper back in my life – as crazy as that sounded.

"I said, how different?"

I opened my mouth, going to answer him, but then I stopped myself and shook my head slowly. It was my turn to ask the question. But as the question came to mind, my heart started to beat a little faster in my chest, and when I spoke, my voice was quiet, feeble.

"Did you really leave me that night you first showed up?"

My question obviously taking him by surprise, made his eyebrows pull together momentarily. "What do you mean?"

There was something his voice that told me he already knew, but I humoured him nonetheless.

"That night, I asked you not to leave me alone. But you had already switched off the lights," I told him, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than ever. "When I woke up, I was on my own, but the man at the desk said he saw you leaving the room that morning. You told me you had to go. But did you stay?"

It was completely silent after I finished, and as he stared at me, I found that I was unable to look away.

"I waited till daylight," he whispered, his voice so quiet that I very nearly didn't hear him. But I did, and as my heartbeat tripled once again, I felt a wave of contentment wash through me. He'd stayed with me, even if he didn't wait till I woke up. He still listened to my plea, and stayed with me.

"Thank you." My voice was equally as quiet, if not more so in fact. "But why did you stay?"

My eyes pleaded with him to answer me. I wanted so desperately to understand him a little bit more, and if I knew I'd get a little closer to understanding him if I knew why he stayed with me that night.

He opened his mouth, and for the briefest of seconds, I thought he was going to answer me how I wanted him to. But instead, he said, "I'm tired of answering your questions."

With that, he turned away from me, making his way towards the door without another word. I was filled with an overwhelming amount of sadness as he did so, and I called out his name as he opened the latch. But he ignored me, and without even a glance back at me, he stepped out.

A couple of tears formed in my eyes as I quickly moved towards the door, wanting to stop him from leaving. But when I got to the door, the hallway outside was clear, and as I made my way down the stairwell, there was no sign of him there, either.

I hoped to catch him at the bottom, but then as I reached the last set of stairs, I saw that the door to the building was already closed behind him. Nonetheless, I still made my way over to the door, even though I knew deep down that he was already gone.

After I had pulled the door open, I stepped outside and scanned the street up and down, looking for any signs of him. But the street was empty, and I knew that in this darkness, I was never going to find him.

What I did know, was that there was something behind why he had stayed with me. It wasn't just because I'd asked him to stay. He didn't care about me, and I wasn't important enough for him to want to stay with me for no reason, no matter how much it hurt to think that way. So without a doubt, I knew that something had made him stay there that night and I was going to find out what that reason was one way or another.

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**A/N****: Please let me know what you thought about this chapter! I'd love to get over 50 reviews before I post the next chapter.**

**One thing I thought I'd point out. I've added a paragraph to chapter one, just before Jasper grabs Angela. It mentions Angela's parents, and I think it's rather important that people read it, or else later on, you'll be thinking 'what? I didn't know that!'**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N****: Chapter 5!**

**I have a couple of things to say before I let you read the chapter. First, I made a teensy (big) mistake of forgetting that Angela had two younger brothers. No one seemed to pick up on that, so in this story, Angela was an only child.**

**Second, this story was accepted onto Twilighted last week (yay), and finally, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted or added this story to their favourite list. I love you all. Especially vegetarianvamps, you know why.**

**Disclaimer****: I merely own my imagination, and that is all. Jasper has a lot to do with my imagination, but that doesn't mean I own him. You've no idea what I'd do to him if I did, but ah, I digress.**

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**Chapter Five: Three Days and a Nightmare**

Cold.

Dark.

Fear.

I blinked, the sound of my heartbeat filling my ears.

Forest.

Trees.

Jasper.

One second the forest was empty, eerie. Then he was there, staring at me. His eyes were pitch-black, and they pierced through me like an icy breeze on a cold winter day. He was shrouded in darkness, and his pale skin made him look like a ghost.

"This was your fault, Angela."

His voice was monotonous, yet his words hit me like a wrecking ball, as if he'd spat them at me.

Terror rippled through me as I shook my head, not wanting to believe him. I reached up to wipe the tears that were falling from my eyes, but as I did so, I saw the drops of blood on my finger, striking against my own pale skin.

When I looked up, he was there in front of me, less than a metre away. His gaze held me in place, rendering my unable to move, before slowly, he fixed his eyes on my bleeding hand. I gasped, stumbling backwards and falling to the uneven ground.

He took a step towards me, so without thinking, I scrambled back to my feet, spun around, and ran towards the trees behind me. But as I did so, the scene around me changed, and merged into an equally as gloomy surrounding.

The trees disappeared, and in their place, gravestones appeared. I stopped running when I saw the two open graves just ahead of me. The people surrounding them were dressed all in black, and their faces were covered with a thick, black veil. I didn't need to see their faces to know that they were the friends and relatives of my parents.

The scene changed again, and the people faded as the graves covered over and aged with time before my eyes. Now there was only one person standing there, and with a sick jolt of my heart, I realised I was the only one left. Alone.

Something, anything, nothing, made me turn around, and that was when I saw the new grave, and the eight people standing around it. The faces of the Cullens were not covered as they looked down at the grave in front of them.

Then slowly, Jasper, the person closest to the burial, turned and looked at me, yet right through me all at the same time.

I jolted awake, taking in a deep, ragged breath. My legs were tangled with the bed sheets, and as I pulled them free, I wondered when my heart was going to stop beating so quickly.

I sat against the headboard, curling my legs up to my chest as I felt my eyes stinging with tears. That dream had been the worst one yet.

Ever since my parents died, I'd been having dreams where I was back in the cemetery they were buried in, and I would see myself staring down at their graves all on my own.

Sometimes the dream would start with me being in the forest outside the Cullens' house. But this had been the first time Jasper had been there saying it was my fault, and it certainly was the first time I'd seen the Cullen family standing next to a grave.

I knew that my dream was changing because Jasper was back. But that didn't explain why the rest of the Cullens had been there; it didn't make sense. Even seeing Bella had been a shock, but I guess she was one of the Cullens now. Though that wasn't what struck me most about the dream. No, it was the fact that Jasper had said what happened on Bella's birthday was my fault.

I wasn't sure whether it was my mind subconsciously telling me that Jasper thought that way, or whether it was just the fact that _I_ thought that way. As it _was_ my fault. If I hadn't followed him into the forest then maybe they would have stayed in Forks, Bella especially, and Charlie wouldn't have gone through what he did.

Maybe _I_ would have stayed in Forks, instead of moving away and enrolling at the University of Illinois. I wasn't even sure why I enrolled here; I just knew that I wanted to get as far away from Forks as I could.

I glanced at my bedside clock, and saw that it was just after six in the morning. I knew that I wasn't going to sleep again, so I pulled myself out of bed and went to see if Aurora was awake yet. I had to start work at nine today, and so I didn't really have long before I would have to start getting ready.

Aurora was curled up asleep under the table, and so I got myself a bowl of cereal and sat down, thinking about Jasper once again. I hadn't seen him in person since the night in my apartment, and that was three days ago now.

A part of me wondered if he had given up trying to get the information out of me, and had gone back to Alice and the rest of the Cullen family. It was plausible. The other part of me hoped that it wasn't the case, and that he was merely giving me some space.

I snorted to myself as I cleared my bowl away. I didn't know why he would be giving me space; it wasn't as if I really needed it. With him suddenly around again, everything seemed more _exciting_ than it used to be.

Without my parents, I had very few people left, especially from my past life in Forks. So having Jasper here, actually being here for _me_, made me feel a little better. Even if he was distant, closed off, and quite frankly a bit intimidating at times, I still wanted him around.

Admittedly, my dream had thrown me a little and reminded me that he was dangerous and a _vampire_. The blood on my hand had driven him crazy, made him attack me. If Emmett hadn't of stopped him, what would have happened? Would he have killed me? Would Charlie have been investigating my disappearance as well as Bella's?

I shuddered violently then closed my eyes, shaking the thoughts from my mind. There was no point in thinking _what if_ about the past, and there certainly wasn't any point in scaring myself. Jasper was a vampire, I knew that. If he was going to kill me, he would have done that already. He'd kidnapped me, yet let me go the next day. I just had to trust him.

* * *

A quick sigh escaped my lips as I pushed the door to the library open and stepped inside. As usual, it was quiet, and I quickly scanned the various tables scattered around the room, noticing all the regulars were in here. But then my eyes landed on the table in the far corner, and I inhaled sharply as my eyes met his.

Three days. He'd been gone three days, and now he was sitting there reading as if nothing was wrong. I dragged my eyes away from his gaze and glanced at his clothing, like I had done the last time I saw him. He was wearing a dark blue, fitted sweater, and peaking out the bottom of his black trousers, were a pair of dark, worn out cowboy boots.

When I looked up to meet his eye again, I found that he looked slightly different than he had the last time I saw him. I couldn't quite pin the change on something substantial; I just knew that something was different. I could only assume it had something to do with his three days absence.

He looked away first, thankfully, and went back to reading the large book he had open in front of him. His eyes were the usual golden colour, and it reminded me that he was not the Jasper in my dream.

As I forced my legs to move towards the staffroom so that I could dump my things and start my shift, I mulled over whether or not I should walk up to him and say something. But I had to remind myself that this wasn't just any old situation. This was still Jasper, even if he wasn't the same person I'd imagined this morning, he was still capable of being like that. So for that reason, I kept walking towards the staffroom.

When I made my way back into the main area, I diverted my eyes away from Jasper, and looked around for Carla. But when I couldn't see her, I went towards the main desk. Emma was sitting there signing in a new batch of books.

"Oh, hello, Angela, I didn't see you come in," she said as I came to stand next to her.

"I came in about five minutes ago. Do you have anything specific you want me to do?"

She looked around, before pointing to a pile of books next to her. "There was a new batch order in just this morning. I'm going through them now, but they'll need putting into the right places. Carla is off doing that now, but you can distribute this pile, if you like."

I nodded and went towards the books, stacking them up on the trolley. But as I was about to move away, I stopped and turned back to her.

"You see that guy sitting in the corner…" I found myself whispering, even though it would be impossible for him to hear me from all the way over there.

"The blond one?"

I bit my lip, nodding. "Do you know how long he has been in here?"

"Not very long at all, I think he turned up about ten minutes before you did. Why?"

"I was just wondering, that's all," I murmured before going back to the trolley. So Jasper had turned up only ten minutes before I had? Was that a coincidence, or had he planned it that way? _What was I saying? Of course this was planned._

To try and take my mind off Jasper for a short while, I focused on putting the books away. Thankfully the ones I had were from a different section to where Jasper was seated. I might have said I wanted to go over and talk to him earlier, but this was different.

Would he acknowledge me if I walked passed his desk? Or would I have to speak first? I didn't know the answer, and so I knew that it was best if I just stayed away from him for now.

On my way round, I bumped into Carla. We had a quick chat, and then she brought up Jasper.

"I see that guy is back again."

I felt a grim smile spread across my face. "I saw him when I walked in. I don't know what he's doing here."

"Reading, by the looks of things," she replied. "I walked by him earlier, and I'm not sure what book it was, but the page he was reading was just a big block of text."

I frowned slightly, my interest suddenly turning towards the book he was reading. I knew I would have to try and find out later.

We had to break apart after that so it didn't seem like we were slacking. After finishing the latest batch of books, I went back to Emma.

"These are the last of the books to go out?" I asked as I approached. She nodded, passing me the five books she had next to her.

"This one has to go on display, though," she told me, pointing to the top book. You need to replace the book about chemical reactions. It's in the science section."

I froze, staring down at the book. I knew where the science section was. It was the bookcase behind the table Jasper was sitting at.

"Can't someone else do this one?" My voice was quiet, a mere squeak of what it usually was.

She gave me a quizzical look, obviously wondering why I was refusing to put this book out. I guessed my request was a bit strange.

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to put it up yourself. If you can't reach, then you can use the ladder in the staff room."

I grimaced as I took them in my arms. I was definitely going to leave that one to the end. Unlike before, I took my time, even stopping to rearrange a set of books somewhere else. But when I got to the second to last book, I realised that it took me one of the bookcases near to Jasper anyway.

So as I got closer, I sucked in a deep breath and prayed that something wouldn't go wrong. My eyes trained on him the whole time, and I wanted him to at least turn around and see me, but he didn't.

I was barely breathing as I stopped behind him and looked up at the chemical reactions book I was meant to be replacing. If Jasper wasn't behind me, I would have placed the book on the table to free my hands. But because he was there, I kept it in my hand while I used the other to reach for the book on display.

My fingers closed around the book, but it was heavier than I thought, and as I lifted it up, it slipped out of my grasp and fell to the floor. My reflexes were never very good, so I winced, expecting to hear the clatter of it hitting the ground. But it didn't come.

I knew immediately that he was beside me even before I opened my eyes. There was this sensation; I wasn't even sure what it was, but I just felt it. When I opened my eyes, I lowered my arm and turned to look at him.

He was much closer than I expected him to be, so close in fact that I could actually _smell_ him. I couldn't place his scent with one specific thing. It was wheat and spice, _natural_ and intoxicating. I knew it wasn't aftershave or soap, this was _Jasper_.

"You could have asked for my assistance."

His voice broke me out of my haze, and I looked up to meet his eye, finding his statement rather peculiar. Something had definitely changed in the past three days because even his voice sounded different – not as tired. I wanted to question him on it, but it seemed too personal. When I'd asked him why he'd stayed with me that first night, he'd left, telling me he was tired of answering my questions. I wasn't a mind reader, but even I knew that was a lie.

"I didn't want to disturb you," was the only response I could think of. It was partly true, as I would have been unsure how he'd of reacted to me talking to him.

"Well you disturbed me when you dropped the book," he murmured, and for the briefest moments I wanted to blurt out an apology. But then I realised that the tone in his voice wasn't harsh, it wasn't teasing either, but I knew that he didn't mean it to offend me.

When I didn't say anything he continued. "What were you trying to do?"

I looked down at the book then back up at him. "This has to go up on the shelf. I guess I wasn't tall enough to reach."

He held his hand out for the book without saying a word. I passed it to him then watched as he reached up and easily placed the book on the stand. As he did so, I found myself breathing him in, allowing my eyes to travel down the curve of his jaw and neckline.

As he turned back to face me, the light from the window hit his skin at an angle, and I saw a faint outline of a scar that ran from his jaw, down his neck and into his collar. My brow pulled together as I tried to work out what could have done that kind of damage to him. Hell, I wasn't even sure if that _was_ a scar. Surely no one could survive an injury like that, not even a vampire?

"Your work colleague is looking for you."

Once again, he broke me out of my thoughts by speaking. I let out a confused, "what?" before turning around to see Emma standing at the desk looking in our direction. How Jasper knew she was looking for me, I didn't know, and I knew that I wasn't going to find out, either.

Emma waved me over, but I held up my hand, silently telling her that I would be over in just a minute. She nodded before going back to whatever she was doing. I turned back to Jasper, and saw that he was were wearing the brooding expression he'd been wearing last week. I sighed quietly to myself, wondering what could have changed his mood so quickly.

My teeth gnawed at my bottom lip as I tried to think of something to say. "Thank you for helping me…just now."

The words came out as a jumble and stutter, and I felt a familiar blush creeping its way onto my cheeks. He seemed to ignore my awkwardness, choosing only to give me a curt nod of his head before moving to sit back down in his seat. I stood for a few seconds completely stunned, not knowing what to do. All I _could_ do was stand there and stare at the back of his head as he continued to read.

After a moment, I snapped out of it and blindly made my way back to the desk to see what Emma wanted. I didn't dare look back over my shoulder at Jasper, even though I had a feeling that he was watching me walk away.

* * *

I was sitting at the main desk once again, not doing a great deal. Emma had been due to go on her break, and needed me to man the desk while she was away. I'd agreed, but due to the very few people inside the library, I found that I didn't have very much to do.

I'd tried surfing the web, but the only problem was that the monitor was directly in line with Jasper, and I found myself looking at him more often than I did at the screen. Only once did he catch me staring at him, and even then I had tried to look away immediately. But he had moved so quickly that for the first two seconds, I found it impossible to react as quickly as he had.

After that, I began using everything around me as a distraction. But that also meant I was easily distracted, and so every time the door opened, I would look up to see who had walked in. This meant that when a guy, roughly my age, walked in, I noticed him immediately.

He was tall, probably taller than Jasper, and had a very light shade of short, blond hair. He was cute, too. He looked around the room, as if he was looking for something. When his eyes landed on me, a smile formed on his face. Without thinking, I returned the smile then watched as he walked further into the room and went towards one of the aisles at the far end of the room. My eyes followed him until he went out of sight.

I snuck a glance in Jasper's direction and saw that he was still reading his book. Looking away before he caught me, I went back to the piece of paper I'd been drawing on. I wasn't trying to draw anything in particular, but when I properly looked the picture forming in front of me, I realised that I was drawing the trees outside the Cullens house.

"Excuse me?"

My head shot up to see that the guy who had walked in earlier, was now standing in front of me with a book in his hands. He smiled once again and held the book out to me, and then when I took it, he gave me his student card so that I could scan the book out.

"Is this the only book you're taking out?"

As I spoke, I screwed up the piece of paper and pushed it to the side. He nodded in response, and I used the scanning device to sign the book out. As I did so, I read the cover the book and saw that it was a book about photography. Usually I kept quiet and just handed the book back, but this time things were different.

"I'm guessing you're interested in photography," I murmured, looking up at him again.

"I'm thinking of taking a photography class next semester," he told me as he brushed his fingers through his short hair.

"You go to university here?" I asked, suddenly becoming more interested.

"Yeah, I started this year. Do you go there?"

I bit my lip without thinking. "I did last year. But I'm kind of taking a break from that right now."

He smiled as if he understood. "You're one of those undecided people, huh?"

"I guess I am." _I'm undecided about everything in my life right now._

I looked down at the table.

"I'm Danny, by the way," he said, holding his hand out to me. I could tell that he was only doing it to save the awkwardness that would have ensued. Nonetheless I took his hand and shook it.

We pulled our hands away. "I'm Angela."

It went silent for a moment, and the look on his face told me that there was something else he wanted to say. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, which confirmed my previous thought.

"Look, this is going to sound a bit forward, but can I have your number?"

My eyes widened in surprise, I couldn't help it. I felt like pinching my arm to see if this was a real, or even looking around to see if there were people watching him pull a prank on me. This kind of thing just didn't happen to me.

"You want my number?" I asked, not hiding the surprise from my voice, either.

He nodded, not answering my verbally.

My body was strangely tense as I thought about it. Giving out my number to strangers was not like me, but then again, this never happened for me to be in that kind of situation. My gaze flickered momentarily to Jasper who looked as tense as I felt. But I looked away from him, not wanting his presence to alter my decision.

_I'm allowed to have a little fun for once,_ I thought to myself. After all, you only lived once, right?

"Sure," I told him as I reached for a piece of paper and scribbled my number down on it. When I glanced back up at him, he looked almost relieved, and when I held the paper out to him, he took it immediately. He didn't say anything as he put the paper into his pocket.

"I guess I'll see you then."

"Yeah." That was the only response I could come out with as he turned away from me. I watched him walk towards the door, and then when he turned back to me, giving me a quick smile, I found myself smiling back at him once again. As soon as the door was closed behind him, I sat back in my chair, trying to understand whether that really happened or not.

A movement to my left caught my eye and I glanced over just in time to see Jasper standing up and closing the book in front of him. His was staring at me, and from where I sat, even I could see that he was angry about something. After a second of eye contact, he picked up the book and walked towards one of the different aisles.

As he moved, my eyes were drawn to the book in his hands. The cover was dark blue, with what looked like a piece of artwork on the front. I couldn't read the title from here, but the cover was something I would remember. I already knew that if Jasper was about to leave, then I would go over and see what book he was reading as soon as he was gone.

Not long after he'd disappeared from my view, he appeared again empty-handed. I expected him to walk towards the door and leave, but instead, he started moving in my direction. I tried to look away from him, or busy myself with something. But all I could do was watch him walk towards me.

He stopped in front of the desk, and for what felt like ages, he just stared at me. I was about to say something, but he beat me to it.

"I would not trust that _boys_ intentions," he said, sounding as if he spoke the words through gritted teeth. Not only that, I didn't miss the emphasise he made on the word 'boy', either.

"What do you mean?" _How had he even known what Danny asked me?_ Surely it wasn't _that_ easy to tell from where he had been sitting?

He was silent for a moment, before he uttered, "You shouldn't have given him your number."

For some reason, his statement irritated me. _I shouldn't have given him my number?_ What kind of a statement was that? It wasn't as if I had guys falling over each other to get to me. Now that one guy had actually shown attention to me and asked for my number, Jasper, the guy I'd had a crush on in school, tells me that I shouldn't have done it. What gave him the right to say that?

"What, are you checking up on me now?"

The words were out before I could stop myself, and my tone held more annoyance than I'd have liked. However, there was nothing I could do, so I held his steady gaze and waited for him to respond. When he finally did respond, it was a mere grunt and that was it. He then turned away, once again leaving me stunned.

A minute passed before I let out a sigh and looked around. The place was still pretty quiet, so I quickly stood up and went towards where Jasper had put the book he was reading. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I just _had_ to find out.

When I got to the correct aisle, I scanned each row, pulling out every book with a dark blue cover, and checking to see if it was the same book Jasper had been reading. After about five or six attempts, I finally found the one with the artwork across the front.

My eyes scanned the writing on the cover, frowning when I realised that the book was about Italian history. I was about to turn the book over and read the blurb on the back, when a shadow to my left caught my eye.

"What, are you checking up on me now?"

The book flipped out of my hands as I jolted, and this time, there was no one to catch the book before it landed on the floor, making a loud noise. My hands were shaking as I slowly turned around to face him. He didn't look angry, but he wasn't amused, either.

My mouth opened as if I was about to say something, but I closed it again when I realised there really wasn't anything I could say to make this better. There were no plausible excuses as to why I was over here. He'd caught me. It occurred to me then that he must have known what I was going to do for him to have come back in here.

Our tableau remained the same for what felt ages. My thoughts spun around in my mind at a million miles an hour, all the while trying to think of something, _anything_, to say to break the silence.

I saw his Adam's apple moving, notifying me that he just swallowed. Thinking that he was about to talk, I thought of the first question I could to ask him.

"Where were you these past three days?"

"I had personal business to attend to."

There was no change in his expression as he spoke. But when I asked him, "Were you with Alice?" something changed. I wasn't sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I was certain I saw his left eyebrow twitch, and his eyes darken.

"Yes," he replied, and then a second later, his expression changed into a calmer one.

Before I could get a word out, he turned away, just as Carla walked around the corner. Jasper didn't acknowledge her and instead walked straight passed her and out of sight.

"What just happened?"

"I really don't know," was my only response as I stared at the space I'd last seen him.

* * *

**A/N****: What did you think to this chapter? You're probably wondering why I've introduced Danny, the guy who asked for her number. Don't worry; he won't be around for long. But his place in this story is necessary, so just stick with me on that one.**

**I hinted at something important in this chapter, but I doubt that anyone will notice it, or if they did, they probably won't understand what I meant by it. However, if you do guess something, please tell me in a review.**

**Now here's the thing. I write four stories, and three out of the four have over 100 reviews. Will you be amazing and help me get this story up and over 100 reviews too?**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N****: Chapter 6!**

**I'll first apologise for this taking so long. There were parts of this chapter that were really hard for me to write, plus one of my other stories was 'speaking' to me. I kind of lost track of my other stories for a while. But here is the next chapter.**

**Just a quick recap of the last chapter: **Angela found Jasper sitting in the library. Danny (an original character) asked for her number, and later Jasper tells her that it wasn't a good idea. She confronts him over his whereabouts for the past three days, he told her he had personal business, and the chapter ended there.

**A quick thank you to those who reviewed, added to their alert/favourite list. It means a lot. Also, a big thank you to vegetarianvamps and koko23cat. They both helped me with this chapter because they are amazing. You should go and read some of their stories!**

**Disclaimer:**** Angela and Jasper, being my favourite non-canon pairing, would both be in the top ten characters I'd like to own. Yes, that's right, I don't own them. That right solely belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Rejection**

Yesterday, after work, Danny had called me and asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner the next night. To say I was expecting his call was a lie. I'd given him my number four days ago, and I honestly never expected to see him again.

When I'd told Carla, she insisted that she came over before the date to help me get ready. It was just an excuse for her to visit and make me promise her to call and tell her all about it when I got home after the date. I'd agreed, of course, and now here I was standing outside the library, where he said we would meet.

A part of me still thought he was going to stand me up. I was early, only by five minutes, but still, I was early, and as I waited for that time to go by, I began to think about how long I'd wait before giving up and going home. In all honesty, I didn't want to go on this date. With everything that was going on at the moment with Jasper...I just didn't feel as if I was in the right frame of mind to go on a date with a complete stranger.

However, those thoughts were cut short when I saw him walking toward me.

"Hi," he murmured as he got close enough.

A tiny smile formed on my lips. "Hey, Danny."

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, and when I nodded, he gave me a genuine smile and pointed in the direction he came from, informing me that was the way we were going.

As we walked, he kept up a flow of questions. Some were casual, and some were a little more personal. He must have sensed I wasn't comfortable answering, as he moved onto tell me he was twenty-two, and had moved to Illinois to study the course he wanted to take.

I found him…_interesting_, I guess. I couldn't quite place what it was about Danny; I just didn't feel fully comfortable around him. It wasn't as if I was about to share all my secrets with him, but sometimes you got that feeling, or you _knew _that they were someone you could trust in.

It wasn't a feeling I was getting from Danny, at all. But this was just a date, not the rest of my life. _Why was I making it so serious_? As that question came to mind, I knew it was because this was the first date I'd had in…_God_, I didn't even know how long, and I needed to lighten up.

So after that, I let things flow as naturally as I could, and soon enough we arrived at the restaurant. I'd passed by the place a few times, and I'd always thought it looked relatively welcoming from outside. I tried to ignore the fact that every other time I'd walked by, I'd realised I didn't actually have anyone to go to dinner with.

Once we were seated, we ordered our food and drink in silence. Only once our drinks were brought to us did the conversation seem to pick up again.

"Would you like some?" he said, gesturing to the bottle of wine sitting in the middle of the table.

I laughed. "Maybe I'll have some next year."

My comment confused him, and I could tell he was contemplating whether or not to ask me what I'd actually meant by it.

"I'm only twenty," I told him, seeing the realisation flicker on his features. "So that means I'm underage."

He smiled, shaking his head gently. "You're very sensible, you know that? So, does this mean you've never tasted alcohol before?"

"Oh, no, I have, and I do drink it sometimes. But…I don't tend to drink it out in public. I like to stick by the law, at least in some manner." I shrugged, feeling a melancholy sensation spread through me. "It's just the way I was brought up, I guess."

"Fair enough," he murmured, seeming to understand my reason. "Where are your parents, do they live nearby?"

I clammed up at the first mention of my parents. I didn't want to tell him about them, I didn't want him to know that I was alone. Not because he would feel sympathetic for me, but because that was personal, and only a select few people knew.

He must have sensed my severe discomfort, as he looked away for a moment before going to change the subject.

"So, why exactly do you work in the library?"

I seemed to relax at that question, knowing it was a safe topic, one that wouldn't lead me back to my parents.

"I love books," I told him simply, wondering if that was a cliché answer for a librarian to give. "Plus it's quiet in there; I don't really like big crowds."

As the latter comment left my lips, I felt slightly embarrassed. From what I'd gathered so far, Danny was…_popular_, the kind of person that would have fitted in nicely with Lauren and Jessica back in Forks. To admit I didn't like big crowds, it made me feel as if he'd tag me as others had before – a loner, _boring_.

But instead of doing what I expected, he merely nodded. "I can understand that. Sometimes it's nice to be in a quiet place. Although, I have to admit that was my first time in there."

I smiled to myself; that didn't surprise me at all. "What made you go in there, then?"

Expecting him to answer with something smart like '_because I wanted a book'_, I was surprised to be greeted by silence. I met his gaze, only to see he looked uncertain now, as if there was something he didn't know if he wanted to say.

"Honestly?"

My brow furrowed in confusion, but I nodded nonetheless, wondering what he was going to say next.

"I went in there for a bet," he admitted, and as the words sunk in, I knew I was going to regret ever asking him. "My friends bet me to go in there and…I had to ask for the number of the first girl that smiled at me."

The rims of my eyes began to sting, and I fought against the stupid tears that wanted to spill down my cheeks. His admittance shouldn't have surprised me, what more was I to expect? Why else would someone ask for my number? Of course, I had expected something to be not quite right.

So this shouldn't have hurt my feelings so much, especially when I hadn't even wanted to go on this stupid date.

"Are they here?" I demanded, looking around the room for a sign of them, watching, laughing behind their menus.

"What? No, they don't know I'm here," he replied, rushing over his words now. "I only had to ask for your number, but to go out for dinner was my idea. No one put me up to this."

I nearly laughed at him. "Is that supposed to make this all better? Am I meant to just forget you talked to me for a bet?"

As I finished, I went to stand up, just wanting to get away from him. But as I did so, he reached across the table, putting his hand over mine.

"Please, just stay," he whispered, his eyes begging me. I didn't want to stay; I didn't want to see his face again. In fact, I didn't even want to hear his name. But I sat back down, knowing that if I walked out, I would feel far worse.

"Fine, I'll stay until we've eaten, and them I'm leaving."

I fixed a steely gaze on him, pulling my hand away. He merely nodded, knowing he'd well and truly ruined the night for the both of us.

After that, we didn't say anything for a long while, and when the food finally arrived, I started eating without looking at him. It was awkward, and whenever he tried to talk to me, I replied with short answers.

The bottle of wine sitting in between us was slowly going down, and against what I'd told him earlier, I found myself pouring a large glass. He watched me as I did it, but didn't comment on it.

It tasted refreshing, and after my second glass, I was already feeling the effects of it.

* * *

The moment our plates had been taken away, I called for the bill to be brought over. The warmth of the room was making my head spin, and the sooner I was outside in the fresh air, the better. When I happened to look at Danny, I could tell he was feeling the effects, too. But then again, it was obvious he'd drunk more than I had.

Once the bill was paid, I quickly gathered my things and made for the door. Somehow, I knew I wasn't going to lose him so easily, and sure enough, as I stepped out, he was right behind me.

We stood for a full minute, an awkward tension buzzing around us. What did I say now? _Thanks for the dinner, but I don't want to see you again_? It was the truth, but was I really going to be that blunt?

He pushed his hands into his pockets, shuffling his feet. His stance made me wonder if he was waiting for something, and I was half tempted to ask him what he wanted, when he stepped closer.

"Can I walk you home?"

My eyebrows rose in genuine astonishment. He wanted to walk me _home_? "I don't think so, Danny."

The last thing I wanted was for him to know where I lived. It was bad enough he would still have my number after tonight.

"Do I get a kiss goodbye, at least?" he asked, looking genuinely hopeful. I didn't say anything, too surprised that he even had the cheek to ask me. "Come on, just one kiss?"

My teeth worried my bottom lip as I looked him in the eye, trying to think of ways to get out of this. After what he had told me earlier about it all being a bet, I really didn't feel comfortable with him at all, and kissing him was definitely way out my comfort zone.

"I'm sorry, but no. I need to go home," I told him, my voice wavering awkwardly. I found myself wishing that I was more brazen, just so that I could tell him where to stick his kiss, and have him actually listen to me.

At first, I thought he was going to let me go, to give up on me. But then he took a step towards me, with a glint in his eyes that I really didn't trust.

"Don't be like that, Angie," he murmured, drawling slightly.

Even though my mind was hazy, I bristled at the name my parents used to call me. "Do _not_ call me that."

He acted as if he hadn't heard me speak as he closed the gap between us completely. I tried stepping away from him, but he reached forward and placed his hands on my arms. They weren't restraining me, as such, but I knew that if I tried to move away again, I wouldn't be able to.

"I'm sorry for what I said, okay? Why can't we end this on a good note?" he continued, then without waiting for my response, he leant forward. I tried to move backwards, but his hands were stopping me from moving. As he got closer, I closed my eyes, not knowing what else to do. If I struggled, it would make things worse. It was just one kiss, that's what I told myself.

But when I thought his lips were going to touch mine, he removed his hands and cold air swirled around me.

I opened my eyes just in time to see him falling to the floor a little over a metre away from me. A second later, someone was standing in front of me, blocking my view.

He wasn't facing me, but I already knew it was Jasper.

The sound of his voice rang in my ears; the tenor of it told me that he wasn't speaking to me, but I still tried to concentrate on his words. I could hear him threatening Danny, telling him to stay away from me, to never come near me again. There was an infinite danger to his voice, a _warning_.

When he stopped speaking, I realised that from the moment he'd stepped in, there were three words revolving around my mind.

_He saved me_.

Technically, he hadn't _saved _me, and I was half tempted to laugh at my rather theatrical way of seeing it. But still, he had stopped Danny from kissing me when I'd already told him I didn't want him to. I knew that meant Jasper had been watching us, and I wondered for a brief moment whether he'd been watching since the start of the date.

But for once, I was grateful.

Then as Danny ran off in the other direction and Jasper turned around to face me, the appreciation disappeared completely. It was the dark expression I saw on his face that changed my mind.

"I told you not to trust his intentions."

I couldn't keep up with the different array emotions that flowed through me as his words sank in. I was disappointed and slightly hurt that he hadn't asked to see if I was okay, and instead decided to come out and say _I told you so_. It annoyed me that he couldn't just keep quiet about the fact he had been right, and the anger crackled inside me quickly.

"He wasn't going to _kill_ me, Jasper," I retorted bitterly, the hurt I was feeling fuelling the bitterness in my voice. "You didn't need to get involved."

His expression tightened somewhat, and it looked like he was holding back a response. I felt my eyes filling with tears, and so I quickly turned away, blinking to get rid of them. The last thing I wanted was for Jasper to see that I was crying over this.

I managed to take a couple of steps before I heard him calling after me.

"Where are you going?"

He, too, sounded irritated, and I knew it was because of my previous comment. But I didn't hear him chasing after me, so he obviously didn't care enough to get a response out of me. That fact he wasn't following, saddened me, but the last thing I wanted was for him to catch onto that.

"I'm going home, is that such a prob-" As I spoke, I turned back to look at him, then felt my stomach drop as I saw that the pathway was deserted. "-lem?"

I let out a sigh as I scanned the area in front of me. He had a knack for suddenly disappearing into thin air. Maybe he was a one of those vampires that turned into a bat; it would explain a lot about his sudden disappearances.

As I turned around, I was going to laugh at the ridiculousness of that notion, but at the exact same moment I turned, I walked into something hard. I didn't breathe for a full two seconds afterwards and merely stared up at him, wondering how the hell he'd managed to sneak around in front of me without making a sound.

His hands came down to rest where Danny's had been a little while ago, and he moved me backwards a step. That was when I realised just how close we really were to each other. When I finally breathed in, it was _Jasper_ that I inhaled. His scent engulfed me, and clouded my mind, my perception, _everything_.

Only the images of my dreams I used to have about Jasper were in my mind. I could see the Jasper of my dreams standing in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, leaning in, and finally, kissing me, _claiming_ me.

As the image washed over me, my whole body relaxed, and I felt calmer than I had in the last couple of hours. If I wasn't careful, my legs would give way and I'd crumple to the floor.

"It's dark, you're drunk, and you're more than two blocks away from home," he told me, his voice pushing through the haze in my mind. "You have no awareness of danger, do you?"

I couldn't tell if he was expecting me to answer him. Either way, I knew that I wouldn't be able to find the words to use, let alone produce a full, articulate sentence.

"You would be an easy target to an attacker should they choose you as their victim. It would not be hard to grab you and pull you away, you understand that, yes?"

His words made me wince, and feel afraid, once again, making my words quiet as I spoke them. "Like you did…"

His hands fell from my arms as he shook his head. "No, not like I did. I didn't do it to hurt you; that were never my intention."

"So why did you do it? I asked you before, but you didn't give me the real answer." I took a deep breath. "At least, that's what I think."

"I thought that if it happened that way, you'd tell me what I wanted to know," he finally replied after a long moment of silence. "I never anticipated that you'd be so…_stubborn_."

_So, I'd been right_. He really _did_ believe he would have the information he needed by now. I studied his face, trying to find something I wasn't sure was there. I didn't want to see disappointment or anger, and as I looked into his eyes, I felt relieved not to see those emotions within them.

What I did see, however, was the pleading look in them, as well as a longing, deep within the core. I wasn't sure what he longed for; the only assumption I could come up with what that he longed for me to give him an answer.

I was going to say something in response to his previous comment, when a slight breeze blew passed and made me shiver. Jasper, obviously noticing that I was cold, signalled down the road towards where my apartment block was.

"You're cold, you should get inside soon."

I rubbed my arm, trying to warm them up a little. He was right, I did need to get inside soon, but what would happen once I was home? Would he leave again, and then come back a few days later to try and get the answer out of me?

Our encounters were beginning to seem like a stuck record, and it was a mystery as to why he hadn't given up yet.

Neither of us said anything, nor did we move. It was only when a car drove down the road did I break out of the reverie. I shifted my weight onto my other foot before inching away from him. I still wasn't sure whether he was going to follow me, so I took a couple more steps then looked back over my shoulder to see what he was doing.

After a second, he stepped forward and fell into step with me. We walked in complete silence towards my apartment block after that. I didn't say anything to him, but every now and again, I would sneak a glance at him from the corner of my eye to see that he was still there. He was so silent, that even his boots hitting against the pavement made very little noise.

When we reached the front door, I paused and looked at him before pushing it open. My strides shortened even more as I made my way towards the stairs. He remained behind me at all times, which meant he wasn't in my vision at all. A part of me believed it was so that he could disappear without me realising until he was long gone.

Yet when I reached the top of the first flight of stairs, he was there, and he was _still_ behind me when I reached my floor. I fumbled for my keys in my purse and unlocked the door at a slower pace than I usually did.

Was he just walking me to my door? Would he come in? Would he leave after I was inside and _safe_? There were so many questions, and I couldn't find the courage to ask any of them.

The door swung open and I bit my bottom lip into my mouth, wondering what was going to happen next. I stepped into the apartment, and then turned back to him immediately, not wanting to miss him before he left. But to my utmost surprise, he merely stepped into the apartment, once again, not saying a word.

My body felt alive with nerves as I closed the door and turned to look at him. What was he going to do now? I wanted to ask him so badly, but like always, I didn't have the courage.

So instead, I moved through the house, going towards the kitchen. My mouth was dry, and I headed straight for the sink. Filling a cup with water, I gulped it down, all the while staring at the door leading into the other room. The same door that lead straight to Jasper.

_What was going to happen now_? I couldn't help but wonder as I slowly made my way back into the other room. When I walked in, his back was to me, and he was staring at my DVD collection. A blush crept onto my face as I realised he would see the vast amount of vampire movies I had.

Would that be a big enough indication that I knew what he and the rest of his family were? Or maybe he wouldn't put the pieces together, and find it a mere coincidence.

I didn't have time to mock the latter thought as, at the same moment, he looked back at me over his shoulder, making the breath hitch in my throat. His appearance was different; he didn't seem as…intimidating anymore. His eyes, they were still severe, but the effect of them boring into me made my head feel a little lightheaded.

Maybe it was the wine I'd had earlier. But in that moment, I refused to believe it. This was Jasper; this was the effect he had on me.

"What were you looking at?" I asked him, stepping closer, as if something invisible was pulling me towards him.

He completely turned around, and just from the way his lips pursed together, I could tell he wasn't going to tell me. To give me an accurate answer, he would have to say the word. He would have to say _vampire_, and there was a sliver of excitement brewing within me at the mere thought of him murmuring the word.

I took a step closer, my limbs moving on their own accord, drawing me in. My heartbeat was all I could hear as his demeanour seemed to change in a matter of seconds. He was frozen to the spot, waiting, staring, and I couldn't look away.

His irises visibly darkened before me as I came to a stop directly in front of him. They were almost black, now. As I looked up, meeting his burning gaze, I saw a darkened lust, a powerful, aggressive thing that tore straight through me.

Was this reaction for me? Did I elicit those emotions? My logical side kicked him, rationalising it. No, it couldn't be. He had Alice, his beautiful girlfriend; I was nothing compared to her. I refused the idea; I couldn't allow myself to believe that he wanted the same as I did. That would be cheating, and I was not that kind of person.

But he wasn't pushing me away this time. We were close, maybe closer than we had been before, and he wasn't doing anything to put an end to our proximity. It was tainting my beliefs, luring me away from everything I was brought up to be. I wanted this, all the feelings I'd had for him years ago rushed back.

It all came down to this one moment, and all of a sudden I was welcoming it. Exhilaration pumped through me, burning in my veins, and the haziness the alcohol had caused spurred me on. He swallowed heavily, then, and the sight of it pushed me over the edge, bringing me to a categorical decision.

Without stopping to think of the consequences, I leant forward, allowing his face to blur out of sight.

I didn't have time to close my eyes.

His hands came down on my arms so quickly that I nearly cried out in shock. I hadn't even seen him move. One second he was motionless, rigid, and barely showed any indication that he was even breathing, the next he was forcing me backwards, away from him.

"Don't. Kiss. Me."

It was a statement, a command, a growl. He wasn't sparing my feelings, he wasn't rejecting me gently. _A growl._ Disgust. He was disgusted. His eyes lost the look they'd been harbouring moment ago, and in its place, anger stormed through them.

It wasn't just anger; it was fury, a level of fury I had only witnessed once when Rosalie snarled at me in the woods. His deathly stare scared me, and reminded me what I was to him; I was a simple human, alone in this world, and he was a supernatural creature created to destroy. I was the perfect target, and his eyes confirmed my fears. If he wanted to do so, he wouldn't hesitate to destroy and shatter my life.

_How was I so stupid to put myself into this situation so willingly?_

I tried to pull away, and he dropped his hands immediately, releasing the tight grip he held me in. He didn't stop me as I turned around, and he didn't call my name. My legs carried me towards my room, while my mind was still ten paces behind me.

_How was I so stupid?_

Tears filled my eyes as I bit back the sob that was building its way up my throat. The bedroom door closed a little too loudly behind me, but I didn't care. I sunk to the ground, bringing my legs up to my chest.

The rims of my eyes stung, and the trail my tears left _burnt_, yet I didn't brush them away. Instead, my hands remained wrapped around my legs, pulling my body into a tighter ball, just wanting to disappear.

I'd tried to kiss him.

Why did I do that? It was stupid, foolish, and idiotic. I'd known already that he wouldn't want this, I was nothing, nothing compared to what he already had with Alice. I should have expected the rejection, just as I should have expected what happened with Danny. But this was different, this hurt ten times more, and the effect of it would last longer, I was certain of that.

He was gone, for sure. I definitely wouldn't see him again after today. He'd go back home to the Cullens, and then someone else would arrive at my door, looking for an answer. Maybe it would be Rosalie; she would get the answer out of me straight away.

I couldn't stop the sob from escaping my lips a second time, though I did clamp my hand down over my mouth in attempt to stop. After a moment went by, I took a few deep breaths to regulate my breathing. I then used the palm of my hands to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

Pulling myself up off the floor, I went to the mirror and grimaced as I saw how blood-shot my eyes were. I went towards the door and opened it, intending to go to the bathroom and splash water on my face. But when I saw Jasper standing in the same spot I'd left him in, I stopped, feeling the breath hitch in my throat.

For the first few seconds afterwards, all I could hear was my heartbeat; I didn't even breathe. He didn't move, not even to blink. He just stared right back at me. His eyes weren't the same as earlier; now they were just…blank.

I wanted to turn around and hide in my room until he left. I wanted to go up to him and ask why he was still here, and whether he was doing it to further my embarrassment and rejection. I wanted to stand here waiting for him to make the first move. I knew that he wouldn't.

I diverted my eyes as I walked forward. I didn't want to meet his gaze; I didn't want to see his reaction when he saw my eyes, and I certainly didn't want to see the look on his face when he realised I was crying.

He didn't move a muscle as I walked passed. Maybe he turned to watch me walk into the kitchen, but I didn't look back over my shoulder to check. I braced my hands against the side of the counter and took another deep breath.

What did I do now? I hadn't anticipated him still being here. In that moment, the line between being relieved he hadn't left, and feeling dejected that he was dragging this out was blurred.

I knew that standing here and not facing him was dragging this out in its own way. So after silently willing myself on, I went to stand in the doorway. He eye landed on me immediately, and for the briefest of moments, I wanted to be inside his mind to see what he was thinking.

"Angela…"

I blinked, hoping I wouldn't start crying again. I knew that voice, I knew what that tone meant. It was the _please tell me, and I'll be out of your hair for good_ kind of voice. He wanted to leave, and knowing that outweighed all the other emotions I was feeling, because he didn't want to be here, and that hurt more than it should have done.

I inwardly cursed myself as the stupid, hot tears betrayed me.

"Why are you here, Jasper?" I asked, my voice quiet, wavering at the end.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "You know why I'm here."

"No, I don't." It came out as an impromptu wail. "You keep saying that you want to find out what I know about you and your family, but what does it matter? Why is it so important? I'm no one, Jasper. Nobody notices me, no one pays attention."

I got more and more hysterical as I spoke, then once I'd finished, I collapsed down onto the chair, burying my face into my open hands. A few seconds later I felt the chair dip as he sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry, Angela, I didn't mean for this to be dragged out the way it has. It was meant to be just that one night, and that was all."

Neither of us said anything for a full minute, until I broke the silence. "Why do you need to know?"

I turned then and met his eye once again, I was expecting them to be distant, or guarded, or maybe even enraged that I was questioning him, once again. But, instead, they were…_tired_. It was then I realised he was going to tell me the truth.

* * *

**A/N****: I hope you liked the chapter, and thought it was worth the wait. Let me know what you thought!**

**To save any confusion, I'll explain that Jasper's reaction before Angela tried to kiss him was because he was thirsty. Maybe you worked that out yourself already? In result of this thirst, he was battling the 'monster' inside, and could not pull himself away from her. Only when he swallowed did he win the battle, but by that time, she was seconds from trying to kiss him. Hope that clears things up a little.**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N****: Chapter 7!**

**Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, added to alerts or favourites. It means a lot, like always. Also, thank you to idealskeptic for pre-reading this chapter for me. If you don't know already, she writes her own Jasper/Angela stories, and though I haven't read them all, I know already that they are well worth a read.**

**Disclaimer****: If I owned Jasper, Angela, or any other Twilight character, I wouldn't need to write fanfiction.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: You're Wrong, You Know**

He didn't say anything for a while, but the look on his face told me he was thinking. So I didn't press him. In the silence, I looked around for Aurora, but, like always, I didn't see her anywhere. I knew that she was hiding from Jasper once again. I couldn't understand why she did that. Was it his presence she was scared of? Did he give off a bad aura?

"There are these people," he began, snapping me from my thoughts and making me return my attention to him once again. "There is something I need their help with, but first, I need to do something for them in return."

Realisation hit me quickly after that. "They want to find out what I know?"

He didn't look at me; he just nodded his head awkwardly. I could tell that he'd already said more than he originally wanted to. But I needed more answers before I gave him the one he sought after.

"But, I don't get it. Why? It's insignificant."

For the briefest of seconds, I thought he was smiling, but as I looked closer I saw that it was something twisted, a mixture between many different expressions. One thing I was sure of – it wasn't amusement.

"Not to them, it isn't."

I chewed my bottom lip into my mouth as I thought about what I would ask next. However, as I went to speak, he turned his whole body towards me, something he rarely did.

"Please, Angela. Please just tell me what I need to know." Everything about him begged me to tell him. It was a strange sensation; I could feel it pulsing through me, the desire to give in to him and tell him everything.

When I was unable to answer from the power of his stare, he continued. "If you tell me now, then I'll leave. Your life can go back to normal again, I promise. I just want to be back with Alice, it's been too long since I was last with her."

I had to look away, because the expression on his face was too much. The desperation was a side of him I'd never seen from him before. He wanted to leave and let my life go back to normal. But what _was _normal?

Did I want _normal_ after this?

A wave of sadness coursed through me at the thought, and I knew it was partly because of what he'd just said about Alice. He wanted to be back with her, not sitting here with me. I already knew that, so it wasn't what caused the anguish. No, it was the fact that he'd been with Alice just the other week, and even a few days was too much for him to be away from her.

I was going to tell him, I knew that already. But once I'd told him, he would leave, and then I would be alone, just how I was always going to be alone. I was never going to have someone love me as Jasper loved Alice. It was then I wondered if he really believed that I wanted him to leave so my life could go back to normal.

I didn't. I didn't want that at all.

Even though I knew he was dangerous, and what he was capable of should have sent me running in the other direction, I still wanted him to stay. I wanted him to stick around, regardless of everything that had happened between us.

Taking a deep breath, I rid those thoughts from my mind. Now was not the time to think like that, as I knew if I dwelled on them too much, I'd get lost in them. Now was the time for me to tell him the truth.

"It was Alice that made me realise." From the corner of my eye I saw him turn his head to look at me, but I didn't face him. I remained staring at the floor, allowing my mind to go back to that day.

"She told Emmett to get you away from the blood," I continued, fixing my gaze on where the tree had cut my hand. The wound healed, but I still remembered where it had been as if there was still blood on my hand. "It was all because I tripped over and cut my hand. I shouldn't have followed you into the forest. What happened…it was _my_ fault."

"It wasn't your fault," he said calmly, and that statement alone nearly broke me. I could remember my dream, how he'd been the one to tell me the exact opposite of what he'd just said now.

He thought it wasn't my fault, and I wanted to turn and look at his expression, to study it. But if I did, then I knew I wouldn't be able to carry on. So I went on as if I hadn't heard him.

"I put the pieces together after you left. I didn't want to believe it, but why should I? Vampires didn't exist, right? Then I found out you'd all disappeared, and taken Bella with you. I guess you knew I'd find out the truth and expose you and your family."

"You didn't tell anyone."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Rosalie told me not to," I said simply, still not looking at him. Her name left my lips with a slight tremor, and I just hoped he hadn't recognised the fear in my voice. Rosalie was one of the main reasons I hadn't told anyone; in the beginning, she had been the only one holding me back.

"I did some research, finding out silly things, like myths and legends, at first. But then I found out about a tribe in La Push, the _Quileutes_. There was a man there that knew the Quileute legends. He told me how the tribe was descendants from wolves, and that there was a treaty with these people he referred to as the _cold ones_. He said decades ago, there was a family of them living in Forks."

Nervous tension flashed through me as I swallowed heavily, before asking him the question I'd had on my mind for years. "The cold ones…that was your family, wasn't it?"

He nodded, his movement reluctant, I noticed. "Alice and I were not with the Cullens at that time, though."

I'd meant to continue, but his small disclosure of information sent my mind reeling. Billy Black never confirmed that it had been the Cullens residing in Forks all those years ago; I'd made that connection myself. But now Jasper had, and not only that, he'd also said admitted that he and Alice hadn't been with them at the time.

How long had they been together? Or more importantly, how _old_ were they? Not Jasper, Alice, Edward, Rosalie or Emmett looked any older than twenty. So did that mean they didn't _age_?

The thought blew my mind, leading me to croak out the next sentence. "He said that you were _different_."

I saw a movement, like the stiffening of his body. "We are different."

It was my turn to nod, then. The room fell silent as I wondered whether I should have asked him to expand on _different_. In the end, I decided against it, knowing he most probably wouldn't answer me. I knew him enough by now to know that there were some personal questions he would never give an answer to.

It was then that I finally turned back to face him.

"You don't look surprised," I said quietly, studying his face.

"I'm not," he answered immediately. "Were you expecting me to deny what you just said, to say that it's not true?"

I shook my head. "Were you expecting me to say something different?"

"No."

That surprised me, and for a minute, I couldn't talk.

"You already knew?"

"I did."

"When did you realise?" I inquired, knowing he was resorting to the quick answers once again, and knowing also that I had to take advantage of that.

"It was the moment you asked me if Bella was okay," he admitted, reluctant, once again. "You wouldn't have asked that if we were…_normal_."

My eyebrows rose as I remembered how long ago that had been. "Why did you not say something?"

He gave me a long look before saying, "For the single reason that there was always the possibility you didn't know. I couldn't risk it."

I nodded slowly, trying to imagine if things _had_ been different and I really _didn't_ know. What would I have done if he'd still told me what he was? It would have been a very different encounter, and if he _had_ told me, I doubt I would have believed him. Then what would he have done?

"So what happens now?" I asked weakly, feeling apprehensive of his response. It was stupid, though, as I knew what his answer was going to be already. He was going to leave.

He seemed to think it over for a moment. "I go back and tell them what you know, and then it will finally be over."

I wanted to ask him _what _would finally be over. I also wanted to ask him if I'd see him again, but not having the courage to do either of them, yet. So I asked, "How far do you have to travel?"

"Not far." He paused. "Seattle."

To me, Seattle _was_ far, but I didn't say anything.

He shifted on the seat, eliciting a grimace on my face.

"You have to go now, don't you?" My voice wavered, and I felt a slight panic brewing inside my chest. It was refined, but strong, and the pain was physical. He stood up, and it got even stronger.

"Thank you for telling me, Angela," he said; the sincerity in his voice as deep as the sea. Even then, I winced. It was just a formality now; he wanted to go. "I'm sorry. I wish you hadn't been involved in this, right from the start."

With a nod of his head, he turned away and went towards the door. Was this it? Was he about to leave without saying another word?

_Say something_.

"Will I see you again?" I blurted out, my heart beating at a million miles an hour. He stopped, but didn't fully turn back to face me, and instead, merely looked over his shoulder.

"No."

My heart sunk, and I felt my eyes sting with tears. There was finality in his voice, like a full stop at the end of a sentence. This part of his life was complete, finished, and he didn't intend on extending it.

_Please don't leave_.

"Goodbye, Angela."

_No._

He moved closer to the door, and my mind screamed at me to say something, _anything_ to make him stay just a little bit longer. But…nothing came to me. My mouth was dry, my throat felt tight. All I could do was watch him leave. I couldn't even say goodbye.

But as he went to open the door, he faltered, and looked back at me.

"You're wrong, you know," he murmured. "You _are _noticed, and people _do_ pay attention."

A single tear slid down my cheek at his words. Only Jasper could say something like that, something so meaningful. Something he knew I needed to hear. His eyes flickered to my tears for a second, before he looked away and exited through the door.

The second he was gone, I felt it. It was like a heavy weight on my chest, _crushing_. At first I couldn't breathe, and then suddenly it was coming in quick gasps and pants. I stood up and moved towards the window, wanting to see him as he walked away.

A part of me expected him to be gone already, like all the other times I tried to catch him. But this time, things were different. I watched him walk down the steps and onto the street; his movements being strangely graceful for someone of his height.

He stopped for a second as he reached the bottom step. After looking up and down the street, he turned left.

"Look back," I whispered brokenly, willing him to do so with my mind. "Look back at me."

He kept moving, and I brushed the tears from my cheek as he moved towards the spot where he'd finally go out of sight. Then, as he was about to cross the road, he stopped and looked back down the street, right towards my window.

There wasn't a chance in hell that he would see me from all the way over there, which was why I didn't move away.

I held my breath as he continued to stare in my direction. Then, when he turned away, I slowly exhaled.

A second later he was gone, yet I continued to stare at the spot he'd last been for a long time afterwards.

When I finally moved away, my tears had dried up, but my eyes were still sore. I went into the kitchen, intending to splash water on my face, but then the bottle of tequila next to the cabinet caught my eye.

It had been there a while now, and I hadn't drunk any of it since Carla and I had opened it the other month. I reached for the bottle now and stared at it for a long moment. I wasn't a drinker, far from it. But tonight I felt like I needed more than I'd already had.

Finding a shot glass in the cupboard, I placed it in front of me, then unscrewed the cap and poured the shot. I didn't have any lemon, which meant after one shot, I probably wouldn't want many more.

I saw Aurora walk in and sit down in the middle of the room. I looked at her, only to find that she was staring at me already.

"Don't look at me like that," I murmured, as if she was judging me. "You don't know what it's like to see him leave again. You were hiding."

She continued to stare up at me, so I returned my gaze to the shot. Trying not to think of anything in particular, I lifted the shot glass to my lips and tipped my head back.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the front door. Opening my eye, I winced as I felt a headache starting. It wasn't as if I even drank much last night, quite the contrary, in fact. I just so happened to be a lightweight when it came to drinking.

The knocking came again, and so somehow I pulled myself out of bed and went to see who it was. After looking through the spy hole, I saw that it was Carla, so I opened the latch and let her in.

Her eyes widened as she saw me, and it was then that I remembered I hadn't seen what I looked like this morning. She stepped in and immediately looked around.

Was she expecting to see someone else here? When she came to the conclusion that it was just the two of us, she looked back at me.

"Is everything okay?"

I smiled weakly. "What makes you ask?"

"You didn't call me yesterday after the date, and I tried calling you a couple of times this morning, but you never picked up."

My cell was still in my bag, where I'd left it yesterday after getting in. I retrieved it and saw there were two missed calls.

"Sorry, I didn't hear it," I told her apologetically.

"It's fine, just gave me an excuse to come over here and see how you were." She paused for a moment, examining me. "What happened?"

"He said he asked for my number because someone bet him to do it," I replied with a sigh, my tone one hundred percent negative.

"What a jerk," she muttered, shaking her head angrily.

A weak smile formed on my face. "But going on a date with me wasn't part of the bet, apparently. He said he called me on his own accord."

She snorted. "Was that supposed to erase the fact they'd included you into their silly little bet?"

I gave her a quick, appreciative look as she finished. "That's exactly what I said to him."

It went silent then and her gaze turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Ang, I hate the stupid jerk that made you feel like this."

"I shouldn't have expected anything more though, really," I murmured, not looking at her. "The only guy that has asked for my number in all this time was only doing it because he was made to."

I stopped, wondering if I should explain the real reason behind my gloomy attitude. I could tell she wanted to protest about what I'd just told her, she was always like that, trying to boost my self esteem. But I wouldn't let her do it, not today. She'd keep trying, and no matter what she said, it would never make me feel better.

So I had to tell her the truth.

"Carla, what happened with Danny isn't what made me like…this."

She gave me a quizzical look, silently telling me to explain. At first, I didn't say anything, and instead, I looked at the couch, picturing Jasper sitting there, as he had last night. My shoulders sagged as I remembered what happened. Well, it wasn't that I _remembered_ because I never forgot, it just seemed to painfully return to the top of my mind.

"Jasper was here last night," I whispered more to myself than Carla. It felt surreal saying it aloud, and something deep within me ached as I said it. It was stupid to feel that ache; it was stupid to feel sad that he'd gone again. He'd been here barely two weeks, yet this was affecting me as if he had been here two years.

"Who's Jasper?"

It took me a moment to realise I'd never actually referred to him by name. He'd always been _that guy_ or the _blond one_ when we'd talked about him.

"He's the one from the library last week. Tall, blond, really pale," I told her, finding it hard to describe him without picturing him in my mind.

"He was _here_, as in he was in this apartment?" Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "I knew something was going on there."

"Really?" It was my turn to be surprised.

"Are you serious? I caught him looking at you like five times the other day. Not to mention whatever happened when he left. It was really strange, like he knew where you were. He went straight towards the aisle, and then there was that load bang."

"I dropped the book."

The corner of her mouth turned upwards. "Why?"

The ache next to my heart pulsed as I caught what she was hinting at. "It was nothing like that, Carla, he has a girlfriend. He made me jump, that's all. It doesn't matter anymore; he's gone."

"Gone? Gone where?" she asked, looking taken aback by my downcast response. Her smile had disappeared once again.

I grimaced, not wanting to think about it more than I had to. "Seattle, and he said that he…he wasn't coming back."

Once again, it went silent.

After a short while, I looked back to meet her eye, and when I did, I saw realisation flicker in them. I wasn't sure what she realised, but I knew I was about find out.

"You like him, don't you?"

I didn't respond to her, for there was no point. She already knew the answer before she asked, and if the look on my face wasn't enough, the fact my eyes started to water was a big enough indication that she was right.

"Come here," she whispered, opening her arms to me. Without thinking, I stepped forward into her embrace. She held onto me tightly, not saying a word as I tried not to cry.

* * *

**A/N****: What did you think? She finally told him she knows about vampires, only for him to turn around and say he already knew. Seems like a waste of his time, huh? Maybe you're thinking, 'Why didn't he just ask her?' There is a reason behind it, like always.**

**You probably noticed the 'you're wrong, you know' line I borrowed. That's one of my favourite Jasper quotes, so I just had to use it somewhere. Oh, and the 'look back at me' was taken from the adaptation of North and South. That scene gets me every time.**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N****: Chapter 8!**

**Thank you to all my readers! I know it takes me a while to write these new chapters, but I thank you for sticking by. Also, idealskeptic? Even when I ramble on about all my ideas for this story, you still say you'll help.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Twilight, need I say more?**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Old Friends**

_Jasper_.

I tried not to think about him; I tried to occupy my mind with other things. But there just wasn't anything. There was nothing at all. Right now, my life was very predictable. I followed the same routine – get up, go to work, come home again, sleep. Throw in a couple of meals, and you'd have a full day.

But when _he'd_ come back, he'd put a block in my routine, changed it, and for two weeks, he became a part of my day, in some way or another. Now that he'd gone, he'd taken that part with him, and the gaping hole he'd left was hard to fill again.

I knew it wasn't always going to be like this. He'd been gone for just over a week, and while I knew I was going to miss him, I knew the infatuation wouldn't last. I'd move on, pack him away into a box in my mind and leave him there.

That was my rational side kicking in, telling me that he wasn't going to come back. It was just a way of protecting myself from it all. He'd been here two weeks, which was nothing compared to what he was going home to. But right now, none of that was relevant. I was still battling through the first stages, where it felt like he'd been here all my life, and I was wondering how I was going to carry on.

Pathetic? Probably; but right now, I didn't particularly care. I was cutting off from everyone again, just as I had the first time they'd left. I distanced myself from the few people I had left so that I could wallow on my own. That was why I happened to be sitting in the park, coat wrapped up around me, as I watched people walk by.

I didn't want to think about what I looked like to passers by. Probably like someone suffering with something far worse than it really was. What was I calling this, anyway? A broken heart?

I snorted, catching the attention of a female walking her dog. I looked away from her and she kept walking. I was being melodramatic; this wasn't what a broken heart felt like. For it to be that, it had to entail so much more than the situation provided.

I just missed him, that's all. I missed the guy that made it feel important to know the secret he and his family kept. I missed the guy that told me I wasn't just the girl that no one paid attention to. With him, I felt somewhat important, and for a moment there, he'd needed me.

Shaking my head, I knew I needed to do something before I lost myself in self wallowing. I might not have had anyone – _human_, at least – to go home to, but at least there were more things to occupy my mind with than out here.

On the way back, I nipped into the fast food joint and bought something for dinner. Though I was tempted to fall back into that particular routine, I skipped going to the rental shop. I couldn't face seeing them right now. As nice as they were, seeing them so happy with each other was a little too much sometimes.

Aurora was pleased to see me when I walked in and shut the door behind me. She followed me as I ventured into the kitchen to look for a plate. I served up my food and went back into the main room.

As I went to flick the TV on, I noticed I had a new message on the answering machine. Feeling curious, I got up and pressed play.

"Hi, Angela…this is Angela Weber, right? I hope this is still your number…" My eyebrows rose in surprise as the voice of my old friend, Jessica Stanley, rang out. "I'm just calling to say that Mike and I are in town for two days. Urbana is where you live, right? Anyway, I was just wondering if we could meet each other and catch up. It's been a long time since we saw you, so…just call me back if you're going to be free tomorrow afternoon. See you!"

For a minute after she finished, I merely stood there staring at the machine. I replayed the message, not quite believing my ears. Her and Mike were in town? I was guessing that meant they were still a together. They had been such an on and off couple back in high school, that it honestly surprised me they hadn't gone their separate ways.

The last I'd heard, Mike had come into some money after his grandfather had passed, and he'd decided to travel. Obviously he'd taken Jessica with him. It was brave of him to do such a thing, but then again, Mike had always been one to try and please her as best he could. Taking her around Europe most surely ranked quite high on her list.

Shaking my head, I went back to my food, deciding to leave the TV off. Once I finished, I knew I'd have to call her and set an arrangement for the following day. Though I'd barely heard from them, I still classed them as my friends, albeit distant ones.

When I finally called her back, she was her typical cheery self, and at first, I found it a bit of a struggle to muster the enthusiasm to talk to her. But once the initial feeling died down, I found myself enjoying hearing the familiar voice.

By the time I'd cut the call, we'd decided to meet near this restaurant just up town from here, and go for lunch. Surprisingly, I was quite looking forward to it, and when I crawled into bed that night, I wondered whether any other people from my past were going to crop up.

* * *

As I was getting ready, I decided to make a real effort to look nice. Though it was just the two of them, I still wanted to turn up and show them that I was looking after myself, and not being all tired and drawn.

I was kind of nervous as I waited for them to arrive. I was certain conversation wouldn't dry up with Jessica here, but I still worried that _I _wouldn't have anything to say to her.

When they finally approached, I relaxed a little, feeling glad that I hadn't declined their offer. Mike held the biggest difference, appearance wise. He was taller, and had a bigger build, as if he'd been working out a lot more. His hair was darker, too, but his face was exactly the same as I remembered.

Both were quite tanned, so I knew they have been travelling someplace warm not too long ago. Jessica looked much the same, the only real difference was her hair – it was shorter than the last time I saw her.

I was certain I looked exactly the same.

"Angela!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly, as she came forward and hugged me tightly. "It's so good to see you again!"

"I know, it's been so long," I replied as I turned to embrace Mike. Once our initial greeting was out the way, we went inside and found a table. At first, things were quiet as we ordered our food and drink. But once the menus had been taken away, Jessica filled the silence.

She prattled on, as I always remembered her to, and told me about where they'd been. France, Germany, Italy – all the places I'd only seen on the map. She even talked about the attractions they seen, with Mike pitching into the conversation every now and again.

She even flashed her engagement ring. I shouldn't have been surprise to see that he'd proposed. Though a part of me thought we were all a little too young to get engaged, I didn't find it hard to become accustomed to the idea.

He'd proposed in Paris, the most romantic capital in the world.

Though a part of me wanted to hear all about their travels, I only half listened, hoping she would keep talking and not ask me to add something. But the dreaded question came a moment after she realised I'd barely said a word since we sat down.

"So, what about you, then?" she asked. "What have you been getting up to since we last saw each other?"

_What about me_? I wanted to ask. What was there to say? The most exciting thing that happened to me was moving to Illinois. They both knew about my parents, so it wasn't as if I could have broken the news to them.

There was just Jasper. Jasper Hale, the vampire, the one who was here, with me, only a week ago. I _could_ have told them. "Jasper?" they'd have said, and maybe taken a moment to cotton on, and then they'd give me that look. The one that said _why would he be here? With you? Boring Angela, don't kid yourself_.

So I shrugged, instead. "Nothing much, really. Went to college for a year, now I'm kinda taking a break from that. Earning some money, you know."

Jessica nodded and gave me a version of the look I was waiting for. _Is that all_? I could see it in her eyes, as plain as day. She didn't mean it in a spiteful way; she might have had the tendency to be nasty in high school – all Lauren's doing, of course, but she wasn't like that with me. She just couldn't hide her opinions; if she had an aversion to something, it read clearly on her face.

I could tell she didn't know what to say.

"I heard Ben is studying to become a lawyer," Mike added, almost as if he thought I'd want to hear what my ex was doing. _Building a life for himself_, like most people did. Unlike me, just sitting, waiting for something that wasn't coming.

"I always imagined Bella doing something like that," Jessica mused absently.

My eyes flashed towards her at the mention of Bella Swan. "Bella?"

"Yeah, you know, Bella Swan." She shared a glance with Mike. "She's probably dead now…poor thing."

"She's not dead," I blurted out, knowing it was a mistake almost straight away. Jessica stared at me with a serious expression for a moment, as if she was seeing that I knew something she didn't. Then she seemed to shake the thought from her mind.

"You don't know that. Unless you've seen her recently?"

I shook my head because it wasn't technically a lie. I _hadn't_ seen her; I was just going by what Jasper had told me. But I couldn't tell them that.

"The Cullens weren't murderers, Jess," Mike murmured, not knowing how close he really was to the truth. They _weren't_ murderers in the sense he was referring to, but they were vampires, and though they seemed different to what most people had in mind, they still drank blood.

Did that make them murderers?

It was my turn to shake a thought from my mind.

Jessica let out a quick laugh and looked away, as if she didn't quite believe what he'd said. "You heard what Charlie said. Bella told him she'd be back later, Edward takes her to the house, and Charlie never hears or sees from her again. Doesn't take a genius to work out that something happened to make them all disappear off the face of the earth in one evening."

"Just give it a rest." Mike sighed. "If the detectives couldn't work out where the hell she went, I doubt you will."

Jessica huffed, but didn't say anything more.

"It's been three years, I'm sure wherever she is, she's happy." I said it more to comfort myself than for Jessica's sake.

I didn't for a minute think that I'd made the wrong choice by not telling anyone and exposing the Cullens' age old secret. That wasn't something I ever wanted to do. But sometimes, I found myself wishing I hadn't been there that day.

Like now, for instance.

Thankfully, the food arrived and distracted them both from the topic of Bella and the Cullens. Even though I _did_ feel slightly exhilarated to talk about it with someone who knew them, I didn't feel up to really getting into it. It didn't feel right now that Jasper had been back.

If the two of them had arrived a few months ago, I wouldn't have a problem with it…as much.

Somehow, the topic of conversation got back onto their engagement and what they were planning on doing next. For the rest of the meal, they told me that they were going back to Forks, and then planning to study at Seattle University for a few years.

They were going to wait to get married, not wanting to be the kind of people to get married at a young age and be branded with the statistics of divorce in young married couples.

It was sensible; more sensible than I expected them to be. But I didn't say that to them, of course.

Apparently I was going to be invited. I smiled at that, as it reminded me of being younger, and telling someone they were going to be coming to your birthday party.

I was sure I would make the trip back to Forks when the time came. I hadn't been there for so long, but I was sure it would be good to see my hometown once again.

Luckily, that was still years away from now. I had a lot of time to get used to the idea.

Before we called for the bill, Mike got up and went to the toilet. Jessica watched him walk away before turning back to me with a glint in her eyes. I knew that look well.

"So, are there any guys you haven't told me about?"

I laughed. _Typical Jessica_. As I thought about my response, I didn't want to fall into the cliché of saying _not right now_, which would make the one asking know there really wasn't any men in my life at all.

Instead, I said, "No boyfriends, if that's what you were referring to."

She seemed disappointed by that, which didn't surprise me. Jessica was always craving to hear something juicy.

"I did go on a date the other week, though," I added as an afterthought, not knowing why I was mentioning Danny._ That _had been a total disaster, and wasn't worth talking about.

Jessica perked up. "Really? How'd that go?" I winced dramatically, making her laugh. "That bad, huh? Was he a complete tool?"

"You could say that," I muttered, remembering the bet he'd made with his friends. I ignored what happened after the meal – the kiss _and_ Jasper. "I don't think I'll be seeing him again anytime soon."

I bit back a smile at the thought. I wouldn't see him again? _What a shame_. I guess Jasper's threat to stay away from me would work on just about anyone. At the thought of Jasper, _again_, I sunk back into my chair a little.

Thankfully, Mike returned soon after, and neither of them noticed. After some deliberation, we split the bill, and made our way outside. I _had_ been expecting them to say they had to go back to their hotel to get ready for their flight. But they surprised me by saying they still had a couple more hours before they had to leave.

I decided to take them back to my apartment. It was the only thing I could show them that proved I'd actually moved forward with my life. They seemed impressed with the place, and while Jessica took to playing with Aurora, Mike checked out my DVD collection.

"You like vampire movies, huh?" he asked as he bent down and studied each title. I blushed faintly, suddenly feeling as if an obsession with vampire movies wasn't something to boast about.

"Yeah…" I paused, rubbing at the back of my neck slightly. "I like seeing the variations different directors make with each movie."

Mike nodded as if he understood. "Makes you wonder what real vampires are like though, doesn't it."

I choked slightly, but masked it with a laugh. I didn't respond to that, I couldn't. If I did, I'd end up picturing Jasper, and describing _his_ attributes. Pale white, icy stare, gorgeous…

Besides, he was only joking.

Jessica jumped in, then, and told me about a village in France that had a lot of vampire myths and legends. Apparently there had been a vampire, centuries ago, who murdered a member of the royal family. Whether it was actually true, nobody would know, but once again, I couldn't help but think of the Cullens.

Were there more than just their family?

What was I saying? There must have been. I shivered slightly at that reflection, and wondered if the vampires in Jessica's story had been the same, what…breed? I knew the Cullens were older than they looked, but just how long could they live for?

It was a hard notion to digest, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. I couldn't dwell on it now, not while Jessica and Mike were still here. When they'd gone, I'd have the chance to think about it as much as I wanted.

After a while, Mike moved away from the DVDs, and we all settled on the couch, Aurora still sitting on Jessica's lap.

"Do you miss Forks?" Mike asked absent-mindedly. "I mean, while we were away, I kinda missed the place, but I always knew I was coming back at some point, so it wasn't so bad."

While they waited for me to answer, I really thought about my response. _Did_ I miss Forks? Maybe, but I missed the memories, the past I'd had there with my parents and friends, more.

Unlike the two of them, I didn't really have anything left there anymore. Any relatives I was in contact with lived in different states, and any friends I had…well, Jessica and Mike were the only two left from Forks High that I had any desire to talk to. Maybe Eric and Tyler…definitely not Lauren, but even then, I hadn't talked to either of those since leaving Forks.

"Sometimes," I finally answered, choosing my words carefully. "But I don't dream about moving back, or anything. I haven't really got anything left there anymore, you know?"

In the end, that was all it boiled down to. Now that my parents had passed, nothing was pulling me back, apart from where they were buried, and even that wasn't a place I wanted to see anytime soon.

Jessica nodded and looked down, obviously thinking about my parents, too. But Mike didn't back away.

"You have us," he said softly, trying to lighten the sudden tension. I smiled gently, feeling glad that I'd seen them. Right now, it was exactly what I needed, and I wouldn't have known that until I'd actually seen them.

For the last half hour before they had to leave, we reminisced about our childhood and all the silly little memories we'd shared. It was a bittersweet moment. Fun because we got to talk about the things I was sure we'd all but forgotten, but hard, as well, to think that those days were gone.

When it came time for them to leave, I didn't want them to go.

"We'll talk again on the phone, okay?" Jessica said as she embraced me. "You can keep me updated on all that goes on here."

Then, in my ear, she whispered, "And any dates you go on, you can tell me about those, too."

I laughed and agreed, watching as they gave me one last wave before walking away. I watched them go out of sight, and then made my way back up to my now silent apartment.

"You liked those guests, didn't you?" I said to Aurora as she padded over and circled my legs. She let out a purr and moved off to jump on the couch. I left her to it, and fetched a drink before heading to my room.

I snagged my book from the side and curled up in bed. I was due to be in work all day tomorrow, so I wanted to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. I _had_ thought about calling Carla. We hadn't properly talked since last week, and I felt bad for keeping her in the dark.

But, in the end, I decided to leave it until tomorrow, when I'd see her at work. We would have plenty of time to catch up then.

It was weird how, meeting with Jessica and Mike, had taken my mind off things, or more precisely, taken my mind off _Jasper_. Like I'd thought earlier, it really was what I needed.

I managed to read a couple more pages before I heard a knock at the door. My first instinct was that Jessica and Mike were back because they'd forgotten something. But when I checked my watch, I saw that it was too late for them to be here without missing their connecting flight to Seattle.

So, as I pulled myself from the bed, I assumed it was Carla coming to visit. She sometimes dropped by when Robbie was working night shifts, so it wasn't all that hard to believe.

When I went to the door, Aurora came pelting passed me, disappearing into my room. I chuckled at her craziness, and pulled the latch on the door.

My heart leapt into my throat as I saw who was standing on the other side.

* * *

**A/N****: Who could it be at her door? I wonder, I wonder. Idealskeptic first suggested about including Jessica and Mike. I'm so glad she did. This chapter would have taken ten times longer to write if he hadn't. Also, I managed to address a couple of things I wouldn't have if J/M weren't there.**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N****: Chapter 9!**

**Thank you to my readers, as well as idealskeptic for pre-reading. A couple of my reviewers gave quite interesting theories as to who was at the door. Most guessed right, though, hope it doesn't disappoint!**

**Disclaimer****: I own a couple of original characters, but that's about it.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Uncertainty**

"_Jasper_?" I gasped out, staring at him with wide, unsure eyes. I couldn't believe it. He was back, here was here, in front of me…but why? How? I thought he was going to Seattle? I thought he was going back to Alice?

_Why_?

But that question was swiftly pushed aside as I looked him up and down, drinking him in. I had to restrain myself from diving forward and embracing him with all I had. I couldn't; he'd push me away from him quicker than I could comprehend. But I wanted to, oh, how badly I wanted to.

"Why are you here?" I asked, finally finding my voice, albeit a very shaky one. "I thought you were going Seattle?"

Before answering, he took a quick sweep of the hallway. "I did. The plan changed." He paused and stepped through the threshold, shutting the door behind him. "Angela, I need you to come with me."

"_What_?"

I'd heard him loud and clear, but my mind was clouded, enveloped with thoughts and questions. All I could say was _what_, and that wasn't beneficial at all.

"I need you to come with me," he repeated, much slower this time, as if he was talking to a child. I bit my lip, not wanting to get offended by the undermining tone in his voice. I'd brought that one on myself.

I nodded my head, trying to clear some of the fog. "Okay…just, let me get my jacket."

Before I could take even two steps, I felt him wrap his slender fingers around my forearm. I jolted and turned back to him, watching as he retracted his hand almost instantly.

"I don't mean somewhere nearby."

I froze; it was a kneejerk reaction, I couldn't help it. The missing pieces of the puzzle slowly started to fall into place. He had to go to Seattle to talk to the people who sent him here in the first place. Now he was back, and the plan had changed.

"The people who wanted to know if I knew about vampires…" I whispered, my voice trailing away.

He nodded curtly. "They want to talk to you."

For a second, the oxygen was cut off from my lungs. I'd never given much thought to them before, but now it was so obvious, and I wondered why I hadn't worked it out before. The people he'd gone to see, they were other vampires, and now these vampires wanted to talk to me.

Fear pulsed through me for the briefest of moments before I composed myself and swallowed back the sudden emotions. I could sense he wasn't telling me everything, and though I wanted him to be honest with me, there would be time for that later. I didn't even have to think about it, I was going with him.

"What do I have to do?" I asked instead, noting the slight waver at the end.

"Pack some clothes, and whatever else you'll need," he instructed, and then looked towards my bedroom. "Your cat. Is there anyone you can give it to?"

My brow pulled together as I thought about Aurora. If he was asking whether there was something who could look after her, then that meant we were going to be away for only a few days. This was longer than that.

"Carla," I said absently, rubbing my fingers across my forehead. "She'll be able to look at her while I'm gone."

He didn't look at me as he nodded. I wasn't sure what to make of his reaction, but instead of wasting my time trying to interpret it, I slipped away from him, and went to start packing my bag. I didn't know what to put in there, so I picked a bit of everything.

Once I was finished, I threw in some toiletries and went back out into the hall, noticing that Jasper had moved into the main room. I paused to stare at him for a moment, but quickly busied myself when his intense gaze flashed towards me.

I took a deep breath and walked by him, stopping at the chest of drawers. I opened the top drawer and pulled out some spare cash and my passport.

"You won't need that."

I jumped a mile, half moving to clutch at my heart, but catching myself halfway. I looked back over my shoulder, noticing that his eyes were fixed on my passport before slowly they looked back at me.

"My passport?" I asked slowly.

"You won't need any money, either." He said it as slowly as I had seconds ago. "I want you to leave any forms of identification behind."

I unsuccessfully tried to swallow back the fear once again. But it didn't work as well as it had earlier. As I stared straight into his eyes, I knew what this meant. I knew what was happening. But I didn't want to admit it.

I couldn't admit it, not yet.

To distract myself from thinking about it, I gathered the cat box I used to take Aurora to the vets, and went looking for her. I eventually found her under my bed, and it took a while to coax her out. But finally she crawled into the box, and it dawned on me, as I carried her out into the hallway, that we would be going soon. I would be leaving my apartment, my life.

At first, I didn't walk back into the main room. I couldn't seem to make my feet move. I wanted to see him again; every fibre in my body had wanted that. But now that he was back, he'd brought the danger with him, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for whatever lay ahead.

Jasper found me a minute later, crouched down beside Aurora's box, absently staring into space.

"I'm sorry," he uttered, his voice sounding so very different than the one he'd been using earlier. It held remorse and guilt and regret. The depth of those emotions being something I couldn't comprehend.

When I finally looked at him, I found myself shaking my head, almost as if I was telling him he didn't need to apologise. _Did_ he need to apologise? I wasn't so sure. In all honesty, I wasn't sure about anything right now.

Another minute passed, and finally I took a deep, calming breath and stood up on my slightly unsteady legs. I scanned the area, trying to absorb every detail around me.

"I'm ready," I finally murmured, sounding far more resolute than I felt. "Come on…let's go."

He didn't respond to me because really, what was there he could say? He picked up my bag and left the apartment, leaving me to carry Aurora. Now that I was alone, I quietly whispered my goodbye to the empty room, and then closed the door, locking it behind me.

As soon as I was outside, my eyes trained on the car parked in front of me. It was dark grey, nearly black, with tinted windows. The car looked as if it was worth more than everything I owned put together. It was ostentatious, and in this street, it looked completely out of place.

But when Jasper opened the passenger door, I realised that I was wrong. With Jasper, it didn't look out of place at all. As I tentatively stepped towards the car, I caught sight of the crest on the front of the bonnet. I might not have known much about cars, but even I recognised that this was an Aston Martin.

Not even a few seconds passed after I sat down before Jasper was sliding into the seat beside me. He looked completely at ease as he put the car into gear and pulled away. The car was so fast, that I barely had time to look back at the apartment building before we were zooming out of the street.

Aurora hissed, breaking the silence. I smiled faintly, turning the box so that she couldn't see him.

"I don't think she likes you," I murmured vaguely, pressing my fingers through the grate on the front to let her know it was okay.

I saw him shooting a sideways glance at the box on my lap. "She senses what I am, but doesn't trust it. I'm an anomaly to her. Many animals react…strangely around my kind."

_My kind_. Whether intentional or not, he'd confirmed that there were others like him – other vampires. Not only that, he'd told me that animals sensed he was a vampire. I already knew he was different, but enough for an animal to sense it, too? That was staggering.

But he didn't give me the chance to comment on it.

"Where does your friend live?"

It took me a couple of seconds to remember what he was talking about – I'd all but forgotten about it. I closed my eyes quickly, straining my already frazzled mind to remember her address, which I relayed to him soon after.

He didn't need me to give him directions, and before I know it, he was pulling up outside Carla's apartment block.

"I'll wait here," he informed me, as if he'd expected me to ask what he was going to do while I got out. "Don't be long."

I bit back a response, knowing that there was no point calling him out on it. He was asking me to say goodbye to my friend and pet, whilst telling me to be quick about it. The other part of me didn't want to call him out on it because I still didn't want to believe it.

I didn't want to believe that I'd never come back here.

Once I was out the car, I made sure I had a firm grip of Aurora's box before walking into Carla's apartment building. Unlike with mine, she was on the first floor, so I didn't have far to go.

When I knocked on the door, her boyfriend, Robbie, answered. He smiled and held the door open, as if allowing me to come in. But I shook my head and asked for Carla. When she came out, I could tell she knew something was wrong.

"Angela?" she said cautiously, her gaze lowering to Aurora for a moment. "Is everything okay?"

I forced a smile onto my face and nodded. "I have to go away for a while, and I need someone to look after Aurora. I know it's a lot to ask…but there's really no one else I can ask."

"That's fine," she replied instantly. I relaxed a little, knowing I could trust Carla to look after her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to visit family," I told her, hoping she wouldn't hear the lie in my voice. I hated lying to her, but she couldn't know the truth, whatever the truth actually was. "Here are my keys; there is food and everything still in the cupboards. Just clean it out, okay? Use it yourself."

She looked taken aback by my latter comment as she loosely took the keys from my hands. But before could question it, I held my hand up, biting the side of my cheek as I did so.

"Don't ask too many question…please," I half begged, my voice failing me at the end. "It's okay; I have everything planned out…"

Her brow furrowed, and I silently pleaded with her to accept it, even though it went against her conscience. I couldn't explain it to her, no matter how much I wanted to.

"When will you be back?" she finally asked; the worry in her voice evident.

I shook my head, my eyes filling up. "I don't know, Carla…I just don't know."

I was certain that was the moment Carla realised there was something more to it than I was letting on. This was all so sudden for her, for the both of us. If I was going to visit family, I would have told her before, and it certainly wouldn't have been a last minute decision like this.

But she couldn't ask me what was going on because somehow, she knew I couldn't answer her. The conflict was clear on her face, but I watched as she took a deep breath and held her hand out for Aurora.

With shaking hands, I passed her over to Carla, who placed the box down beside her and stepped forward, pulling me into a tight embrace. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but words failed me.

"I'll see you," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. I bit my lip into my mouth and nodded, knowing I couldn't promise her I would. Some would have thought I was being dramatic, but with Jasper, there was something that told me this wasn't going to be safe. He'd arrived so unexpectedly, urging me to go with him, and I was complying because he needed me again, and as silly as it was, I held onto that.

With one last look at Aurora, I turned away and made my way towards the door. Made my way back to Jasper.

Carla was a good friend, one of the best I'd had…I was going to miss her, Aurora, too.

When I slipped back into the car, Jasper didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if he even looked in my direction; I didn't care to find out. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and even though I was completely silent and looking out the window, I knew _he_ knew.

That was probably why he didn't say anything. He'd already apologised earlier, there was no point repeating it now.

I was ready to settle back into the seat and stare resolutely out the window, when we drove down the main road, and something stopped me. The DVD rental shop.

"Can we stop, please? There's something I need to do first." The words were out my mouth before I realised I was speaking. He didn't question me; he just pulled over and let me get out. Was this how it was going to be for us? Not talking apart from the odd, jilted conversation when we needed to say something?

I didn't want to think about that now.

When I pushed open the door to the shop, Claire's gaze landed on me straight away. When she saw that I had been crying, she left her post at the desk and came towards me.

"Angela, what's the matter?" she asked worriedly, putting her arm around me as she led me towards some chairs. We sat down, and I took a deep breath before telling her something similar to what I told Carla. There was no point changing my story, even if the chances of them talking to each other were slim.

"How long are you going to be away?" she enquired.

Like with Carla, there was nothing else I could say. "I don't know. But I'll be okay…I'll be with people I trust."

I wasn't sure where the latter comment came from, but deep down, I knew that it was true. I could trust Jasper…there were so many things I didn't know about him, so many things I probably never would know about him. But somewhere inside me, I knew I could trust him. If there was one thing I was certain about, it was that.

"Look after that baby of yours, okay?" I told her, wiping at my face with a tissue Claire had handed me. "Will you say goodbye to Max for me?"

Claire nodded before leaning over and giving me a hug. When I pulled away, I sniffled and took another deep breath. I said goodbye, something I hadn't been able to do with Carla, and forced my legs to walk out the store.

This time, as I climbed back into the car, Jasper didn't start the engine. Back in Forks, before they left, before I knew about vampires, I'd dreamt of Jasper staring at me, dreamt of him being this close to me. But now that we were in this situation, I wish that I wasn't.

It was so damn messed up. I didn't want him to drive away from me, but I didn't want him here, seeing me like this, either. I needed some time to digest what was happening, but with Jasper, that just wasn't possible.

He wanted to go, and I just had to follow him.

"Why did you say goodbye to her, too?" The way he asked was as if he already knew the answer, and if I didn't know any better, he probably already did. He just wanted to hear me say it.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and then shifted in my seat so that I could see his face. I stared at him long and hard, allowing my eyes to tell him before my lips did.

"Because I'm not coming back here, am I?"

I'd been staring at him so intently that I saw the slight flicker of something flashing through his eyes. Maybe I'd been wrong earlier; maybe he really didn't know why I'd said goodbye after all.

But now he did, and when he said, "I don't know," in a deflated voice, I knew that I had been right all along. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, there was a high chance I wasn't going to come back.

Whatever it was he had planned…it was dangerous.

We lapsed into silence, and when I turned back in my seat, looking out the window, he pulled away. Once we were out of the main city area, Jasper put his foot down, and I began to see the true power this car possessed.

It was about twenty minutes into the drive that I shifted in my seat so that I could sneak a glance at him. I was feeling far calmer now that we were driving, and it allowed me to relax and drop the guard I'd built up.

After another ten minute of nothing but the sound of the engine, I decided it was time to break the silence. I wanted to ask him what his new plan was, but that question was too heavy. I needed something far lighter than that.

"Where did you get the car?"

He barely even moved as I spoke. I knew I was a jumpy person in general, but if he'd have suddenly broken the silence as I had, I was certain I would have jumped out my skin.

"Carlisle owns a garage just south of Joliet," he replied smoothly, as if owning a garage in a state you didn't live in was something everyone did. "The Aston was the fastest and most suited my requirements."

I was half tempted to ask him what his _requirements_ were, but I was still trying to absorb the fact Carlisle owned a garage, and cars like _this_, and didn't use them. Now, I knew they were rich, you just had to look at the place they lived to know that, but still…I wasn't sure _rich_ even covered it after hearing that.

"Is this one of Carlisle's cars, then?" I asked, looking around for any signs of use. The car interior was absolutely spotless – had it even been driven before today?

"No. I think the _Vantage_ is one of Rosalie's," he informed me whilst not taking his eyes from the road.

I ignored the _one of_ comment. If you were rich enough to own a car like _this_, and still say it was only _one of _a number of different cars, then you decidedly had far too much money to speak of.

When I really thought about it, I could picture Rosalie driving a car like this. I could see her being one of those girls that had a rich daddy and went around partying, whilst sleeping with as many men as possible.

_Way of sweeping generalisation there, Angela_.

But it was true, though, you saw those kinds of girls on TV all the time. They were seen on that stupid reality crap the general population seemed to love. They were all spoilt bitches, and I was putting that lightly.

Of course, to call Rosalie a spoilt bitch was as good as signing away your death certificate, and I'd come to that conclusion long before I even knew she was a vampire.

By the time I'd pulled myself from my musings, the clock on the dash told me another fifteen minutes had passed. I scanned the area we were driving through, but didn't recognise it. But then again, why would I?

It was gradually getting darker, and soon enough it would become too dark to see beyond the headlights. Would we drive right on through the night? I wasn't sure about Jasper, but the very thought of being in the car the whole time was giving me leg ache already.

I wasn't going to say that to him, of course. I just had to hope we weren't going to be driving for too long. That brought me around to my next question. I was slightly anxious to ask him because it was leaning towards the heavy stuff I'd been trying to steer away from.

However, I couldn't keep putting it off. I had to ask him because frankly, I deserved to at least know where we were going, even if he didn't want to tell me what we were going to do once we got there.

"So…whereabouts are we going? Seattle?" I asked casually, half hoping that we were heading for someplace closer. Even in a car like this, it would take days to get to Seattle, and I was sure not even vampires could drive for days without stopping…right?

But I didn't have time to dwell on that thought as I realised Jasper looked really tense for the first time in nearly an hour.

"Angela, I haven't been completely honesty with you," he admitted, staring directly ahead of him as if his life depended on it. In that moment, I could easily have spouted some sarcastic comment by saying that I'd known that already. When was he _ever_ completely honest with me?

But I didn't because this was serious, and seconds later, I was holding my breath, waiting for him to continue.

"Right now, we _are_ heading for Seattle," he continued. I felt a slight wave of apprehension wash over me, knowing that whatever was coming, I might not like it. "But that's only because there's a man there I need to see. He has some things I need sorting out, and he'll be the one to buy the tickets."

"Tickets?" I echoed faintly, feeling a little light headed. "How far are we actually going?"

When I looked over to study his expression, I got the suspicion that he'd said more than he'd initially planned to right now. But it was out, and as the tension mounted, I sucked in my breath once again, until finally he uttered the four words that made my stomach flip.

"We're going to Italy."

* * *

**A/N****: Of course it was Jasper! So, who wants to tell me why they are going to Seattle? Who are they going to visit? What about Italy? Find out Angela's reaction in the next chapter.**

**Check out the posts on my blog for a couple of pictures that related to this story. Jasper's car and a blinkie, to be more precise. A link to my blog is on my profile, check it out or follow it for future posts.**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Chapte****r 10!**

**I've said it before, but I love the theories some of you have come up with. Makes me smile. As always, thank you to my readers and idealskeptic for pre-reading. To sweetlilsunshine, since Ffnet changed their review reply system, I haven't been able to reply to your last two reviews. Just want to say thank you!**

**Disclaimer****: It would be great to own Jasper and Angela...the fun we'd have. But, alas, SM owns everything.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Apologies**

_Italy?_

My heart was thundering in my chest at the mere thought of travelling halfway across the world, let alone adding on the fact I was with Jasper, and going to visit a group of vampires who were quite possibly incredibly dangerous.

This wasn't just the Cullens' secret anymore; this was for _all_ vampires…American, Italian…_Oh_, _God_, and now Jasper was taking me to see them. Were there hundreds of them all over the world? Families like the Cullens?

They'd sent Jasper to find out what I knew, made him promise to keep me alive. They needed to protect their secret at all costs, and now they wanted to see me. He'd told me not to take anything that could be used as identification...

"_I can kill you with a single flick of my hand."_

The gravity of the situation suddenly rained down on me. Jasper could kill me; he wouldn't, but _they_ certainly could, and who was I to them? _No one_. I was just the person who knew their secret. With no identification, covering it up would be too easy.

I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping it. He told me I wouldn't need my passport, yet he was expecting me to fly? How?

"Are you _insane_?" I ground out, pressing my shaking hand against my forehead and closing my eyes. "What the hell have I got involved with?"

The latter question was more for me than Jasper; I didn't expect him to respond. He didn't. But suddenly I felt the speed drop, and I opened my eyes to see we were pulling into a truck stop.

As soon as the car was stationary, I unbuckled my seatbelt and bolted from the car. I inhaled deeply, and then held my fist against my mouth to stop from hyperventilating. I was still shaking, and I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. From behind, there was an electric buzz, and I knew Jasper had got out the car.

"I let you take me, and I barely even questioned you." I spoke clear, precise; all the while, staring out at the trucks and cars parked across from us. "I let you just walk back in and take me because my life was just so _damn boring_ after you left! But for _what_?"

I whipped around to face him. He was standing about a metre away, keys hanging loosely from his fingers.

"What am I actually going to do? Why am I travelling halfway across the world? Are you even going to _tell _me?" I demanded. My voice had risen, taking on a more hysterical, enraged tone that was completely out of character. I was tired and confused, and minutes from losing my mind.

"I can't tell you, not right now," he uttered, his voice low, monotonous yet again. "This isn't the right time, I'm sorry."

I let out a harsh laugh, shaking my head. There it was again, that apology. I felt my eyes well up, so I turned from him, making my way towards the small café. I didn't want him to see me like this, even though he'd seen it countless times before.

This time felt different.

The café was relatively quiet, with only a few drivers sitting in the booths. I was yet again reminded that I didn't have any money, so I bypassed the young girl behind the counter and slid into one of the empty booths. I brought my feet up onto the chair, resting my chin on my knees, whilst trying to collect my thoughts.

This was crazy, all of it. Leaving home, travelling across the state with a guy I'd only dreamt about back in high school, and then shouting at him when he told me a little of what he had planned.

But Jasper wasn't the guy in my dreams. He was a vampire, quiet, untrusting, and dangerous. He wasn't even telling me why they needed to speak to me, just being content on using me to get what he wanted from them.

Tears sprung unbidden in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. I didn't want to think of it like that – him using me. But right now, that's exactly what it looked like.

From my right, a shadow loomed across the table, and I looked up from my knees to see Jasper standing there, a steaming paper cup in his hands. He sat down without a word and pushed the cup towards me as it was a peace offering.

I stared at it, but made no move to drink. In fact, I tightened my grip around my legs and allowed my gaze to flicker to meet his. For a moment, I saw into his eyes, _right_ into them. I saw passed the gold, and stared into what lay beyond.

There was agony, despair, and an age old look of defeat that made me shiver.

Seconds later, the moment was gone, and his eyes were back to how they always were – cold and dark, and a part of me wondered if I'd only imagined it.

"I will answer your questions, I promise you," he said, allowing the sincerity in his words to ring through for a moment.

"But this isn't the right time, is it?" I replied, echoing what he'd said earlier.

He lowered his gaze and shook his head. "Angela, I am…I am sorry for this."

I winced and rested my head on my knees once again. Scrunching my eyes shut, I whispered, "Stop saying you're sorry," knowing it was too quiet for him to hear me speak.

When you start having too many things to apologise for, the phrase would begin to lose its meaning. If he kept repeating it, soon it would be two words, just like any other.

"The man we're going to see in Seattle, he's a forger. If you have the money, he'll make you anything you need."

Jasper's voice broke through my thoughts, and when I lifted my head, his expression was different, as if he was trying to meet me halfway. Right now, it wasn't what I wanted to know the most, and he knew that. But it was one of the questions I'd have asked at some point, and I was grateful that he'd shared something with me.

"Is he human?" I asked, the question coming naturally, even though the question in its simplest form was not one widely used. It sounded strange to say, but I just had to get used to it.

"Yes," he confirmed instantly, almost as if he'd expected me to ask. "I've been working with him for a while now."

"Does he know what you are?" I asked quietly. Though there were fairly few people sitting nearby, I didn't want to risk saying _vampire_ out loud.

Jasper shook his head. "He knows something is different, but he won't ask, and I don't think he has put the pieces together."

I nodded slowly and took a sip of the drink – hot chocolate – as I weighed over what he'd told me. This man was a forger; I could assume he was going to make passports for the both of us, which was why Jasper had told me not to bring identification. If someone found me with both, they'd know one was a fake. It all made sense now, I guess, but it didn't completely lift the uneasiness in my stomach.

The usual silence found us again as I continued to sip my drink. I wanted to ask him about the forger, and what Jasper needed from him. The passports I knew about, but I was curious to know whether there was anything more.

But like most things with Jasper, I kept quiet. I would ask him nearer the time, when we were closing in on Seattle. However far that actually was. I didn't really know where we were. We'd been driving for a few hours, so I could hazard a guess that we had gone into Iowa, or at least, getting close to it.

We still had a long way to go, which was why I downed the rest of my drink and straightened out. Jasper didn't want to wait around, and I wasn't going to make him.

"I guess we need to go," I murmured awkwardly as I pushed myself up from the booth. Jasper followed suit, but as he went for the door, I held back.

"I'll be out in a minute," I told him, working out that while we were here, it would be best if I used the restroom instead of asking him to stop later. He looked at me quizzically, but when I nodded towards the bathroom at the side of the room, he seemed to understand.

When I entered the small bathroom, my reflection caught my eye immediately. I stared at myself, taking in the paleness and black smudges around my eyes. I grabbed a tissue and wiped at the run make up. In the end, I didn't attempt to make myself look more presentable. There was no point.

Five minutes later, I was walking out the restroom to find Jasper had waited for me. He appraised me as I approached, almost as if he had expected something else, maybe an escape through the window or something. But he shook it off and held the door open for me.

"Maybe you should try and get some sleep," he suggested when we reached the car. I wasn't so sure how much sleep I was going to get in that passenger seat, but I said, "Okay," anyway. It wasn't even as if I could crawl into the backseat – this car didn't have any.

As I sat down, I could tell why he'd suggested it. Apart from the obvious reason that I was tired, the thought of spending hours in complete silence wasn't something either of us looked forward to.

It saddened me a little that he didn't talk, but I knew not to dwell on it. It would only make things worse in the long run. We didn't have much in common. Hell, we weren't even the same _species_. Conversation was going to be limited; I just had to accept that.

Once we were both settled into the car, he turned up the heat until it was more than warm enough to doze off. Now that I was actually sitting in the car, a wave of fatigue washed over me, and I found myself yawning as I curled up as best I could on the passenger seat. I kept my back to him because somehow, I didn't want to fall asleep facing him.

Whilst I closed my eyes, I silently wondered, whether Jasper and this car were all going to be a dream.

* * *

As awareness slowly drifted back to me, I stretched my body out across the bed, trying to remove the kinks of sleep.

_Wait. Bed._

I was in a bed.

The cogs of my mind turned, and I realised that it really _had_ been a dream. Jasper coming back, taking me away from my life…it was just a dream. I groaned; how typical. I was home again, and though I was glad about that, I half wished I could fall asleep again.

My eyes opened and I went to call for Aurora. But when my eyesight adjusted to the dark room, I saw the room I was in. This wasn't home at all. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

This wasn't what I remembered. I'd been in the car; that was the last thing I could recall. How had I got here? As I ran my hands over my face, I thought of Jasper. Was he here? Had Jasper carried me? Or had he left me?

The thought didn't sit well with me, so I pulled myself up from the bed and ventured into the room that lay behind the closed bedroom door. It was bigger, lit up, with a couch, a TV, and a dinner table.

On the couch sat statue-like Jasper. I relaxed at the mere sight of him. _He hadn't left me here_. The statue came to life, and he turned to look at me.

"Where are we?" I asked groggily, sounding as if I was still half asleep.

"Waterloo, Iowa," he replied, confirming my thoughts that we'd passed into a new state. "I thought it would be better if you got some sleep in a proper bed. I brought your bag up, just in case you wanted to shower and get a change of clothes."

I looked over to where he was signalling to, and saw my bag sitting by the door. When I thought about it, a shower was definitely what I needed. After the sleep, I felt better, a little less crazy. I wasn't sure I'd be shouting at him again anytime soon.

I went to collect my bag, and then headed for the bathroom, but passed in the doorway. "What time is it?"

He looked down at his watch. "Just gone five thirty."

That surprised me, I knew it was still dark outside, so it had to be in the early hours of the morning, but I hadn't expected it to be _that _far into the morning. I must have been asleep for over six hours.

I shook my head, and went into the bathroom without another word. I sat down for a bit, trying to take it all in. I was in the middle of Iowa, sitting in a hotel bathroom, with Jasper Hale waiting outside.

This was insane.

I forced myself to recover from that thought quickly, and decided to let things calm down with a shower. For a long while, I just stood underneath the torrent with my eyes closed. It was the thought of Jasper waiting outside that made me speed things along. I'd been asleep for a long time, and though he may have slept for some of that time, he had still been sitting there waiting.

In the rush to pack things, I hadn't brought along anything for the shower. Luckily, there was the hotel provided bottles sitting on the shelf, so I used that instead. When I was finally out, I towel-dried my hair as best I could, then tied it up so that it wasn't dampening my back.

I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a fitted hoodie, not bothering with make up. There was no point to it. As I went back into the main room, I found Jasper in the exact same position he'd been in earlier. He looked up as I walked towards the table. I could feel his gaze on me as I sat down.

"Room service started at six, maybe you should eat something." I nearly laughed when he said _maybe_; there was no maybe about it. It was an instruction, just like every other time he said it. I _had_ to eat something. "You just dial one and it'll put you through."

As always, Jasper was very formal, only saying the bare minimum. As I walked over to the phone, I hoped that, at some point, he would loosen up a little. Somehow, I couldn't see that happening.

I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but I ordered myself some scrambled eggs on toast, anyway. It was only when I saw the food in front of me did I realise I hadn't eaten since being out with Jessica and Mike the day before. My hunger soon came back to me as I thought that meeting with them felt like a lifetime ago now.

To distract myself from that thought, I looked over at Jasper as I ate. He was now standing at the window, looking out, with his hands clasped behind his back. Even his posture was completely upright. He reminded me of someone on guard duty, watching for any sign of danger.

As strange as it was, I found it quite endearing.

"You don't eat, do you?" I mused randomly as I started on my second slice. I'd known back in Forks that they didn't eat, but I hadn't exactly thought about it. Sometimes it was easy to forget what he was. Right now, all I could think was that I hadn't once seen him eat or even _talk _about food unless he was telling _me_ to eat.

It took him a while to respond, but finally he said, "No."

I stared at him, slowly chewing over my food. _I want more out of you than that, Jasper_.

"What would happen if you ate something?" I went on to ask lightly, as if a conversation like this was perfectly normal.

"It would sit in my stomach until I brought it back up."

I pulled at face at that, trying to ignore the matter of fact tone to his voice. Forcing yourself to be sick wasn't something anyone would look forward to, vampire or not.

"Have you ever tried it?"

"No." I was certain I heard him sigh, but I couldn't be sure. "Emmett did once because he was curious, and Edward did, as well, but only because Bella asked him to."

I faltered at the mention of Bella, and idly wondered whether this happened before or after they left. I wasn't going to ask him that, though. It wasn't important.

"So, what does food smell like to you, then?" I asked, half expecting him to tell me he was tired of answering my questions like he had the month before. But he didn't.

Unsurprisingly, though, he answered with his classic one worded response. "Unappealing."

I nodded slowly, and pushed the plate away, leaving nothing but some crusts. If my food smelt unappealing to him, I wondered what _his_ 'food' smelt. What did _I _smell like to him?

From the corner of my eye, I saw him look in my direction rather sharply.

"You don't want to hear the answer to that," he replied evenly, the edge of warning in his voice. At first, I didn't know what he meant. Then belatedly, I realised I'd spoken without knowing, and there it was, that danger, that undeniable way of bringing things back around to the simple truth.

He was a vampire. Vampires drank blood…human blood. _My _blood, if he so wished.

I shuddered.

When I met his intense gaze, I was shocked to that there was a glint in them, a look that said _I dare you to disagree_; _I dare you to make me answer your question_. I held the reverie for as long as I could before cracking and looking away.

"We should get going," I said instead. The look disappeared as he agreed, and after collecting our things together, we left in silence.

* * *

**A/N****: Gotta say, I really liked writing that last part. Send me some love! I'd love to hear your opinions on this chapter!**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N****: Chapter 11!**

**This story was nominated in the Tomato Soup Awards for most unusual pairing – whoever that was, thank you! While I'm thanking people, I'll do the usual suspects – idealskeptic, she's awesome and pre-reads. She's got a couple of new one-shots up on her page, check them out! Then, of course, my readers…**

**Disclaimer****: If I was Stephenie Meyer, I wouldn't have wasted my time with Bella, Jasper would have been the main character, and Angela wouldn't have just been there when Bella needed her.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: The Forger**

The day of travelling was brutal. Jasper solely decided that we'd drive in stretches of four to five hours, we'd stop, I'd get out and walk around, eat something, and then we'd drive on. I was holy indebted to the tinted windows. But it wasn't just the long hours in the same position that nearly did me in, it was the fact Jasper barely spoke.

The only time he really did say something was when he informed me we were in South Dakota. We'd stopped twice there – once in Sioux Falls, the other in Rapid City. They were on either side of the state, and even though Jasper drove like the bat out of hell once we'd hit the highway, I still found it surprising that we'd crossed a state in just over five hours.

But, then again, I knew nothing about travelling or how long things took. Anywhere I had gone to in the past, I'd flown. The furthest I'd travelled by car had been to Seattle, back when I was living in Forks. That felt like a trip to Port Angeles compared to this.

As the end of my first whole day with Jasper approached, we were stopping in a place called Billings. I'd spent nearly the whole day in the car, and it was messing with my ability to think and function clearly. The majority of the time, I'd felt really drowsy, and I wasn't sure whether that was to do with the constant sound of the engine, or the fact I had been doing nothing but sitting still.

When Jasper told me we were in Montana, and would possibly reach Seattle by tomorrow evening, I could only stare at him as if he'd sprouted a new head. I couldn't comprehend that, since yesterday evening, I'd gone from Illinois, to Iowa, to South Dakota, to Montana, all in the space of twenty-four hours.

I got the impression that Jasper wanted to drive right on through the night, but he didn't say that, of course. I think my exhausted brain would have caused me to laugh at him.

When I finally crawled into bed at about ten fifteen, it felt like heaven.

* * *

It didn't last long. By five, I was opening my eyes. I was certain something woke me up; I wouldn't have opened my eyes at five in the morning if it hadn't. I had a sneaky suspicion it was Jasper; but I wasn't about to call him out on it. My body was still tired, not _exhausted_ but tired enough that all I wanted to do was crawl back under the covers. But the longer I stared at the clock on the wall, the more I knew I had to get up.

Though he hadn't made any noise in the other room, I knew he was awake. Deep down, I had an inkling that he didn't actually sleep, which was completely mind blowing. Where did he get his energy from? When put into the simplest context, what the hell did he do during the night when he was alone?

In the end, that's what made me get out of bed. Even though he didn't really seem excited to be in my presence, I still wanted to keep him company.

He was pouring over a road map when I opened the door. He didn't look up at me, but I got the feeling he knew I was there.

"Is everything okay?" I asked from the doorway, noticing the frown on his face. For a second or two, he stopped spinning the pen that was twirling between his fingers. He probably was writing out directions, but when I scanned the table, there wasn't any paper in sight.

"I'm trying to work out the route, and how long it'll take to get to Seattle," he replied, still deep in thought. "I've mapped out two stops along the way – Missoula and Spokane, but on average, it takes about nine hours to get there."

I blanched at the thought of going nine hours with only two stops, but I resisted the notion for the time being, and went to sit on the couch opposite him. Maybe Jasper thought I was as durable as he was.

"That car out there doesn't really fit in the _average_ bracket, though," I told him, thinking about how far we'd already travelled in such a short space of time. "If we leave now, the highway won't be too busy. You could see how fast that car really goes."

He appraised me, the pen still spinning. "It doesn't scare you, does it?"

My brow pulled together. "What doesn't scare me?"

"The speed."

"It depends on who the driver is," I told him honestly, smiling faintly as I looked down at my lap. "I mean, I trust that you're not going to flip the car, or wrap us around a tree, or something."

For once, he actually looked a little amused by what I'd said. "Not while I'm in the driving seat."

He went back to looking at the map, and I watched him as he frowned some more. I was tempted to ask him what was wrong, but before I could, he signalled to a plastic bag on the table.

"You should eat something before we go."

I caught myself before I told him that _he _should eat something, too. It was another one of those moments where I thought he was just like me. I didn't want to think about what his meal would be, or where he'd find it, so I occupied myself with checking out the food in the bag.

It was all savoury stuff; nothing that needed refrigerating. I wasn't sure where he'd got it from; given the time of day, I wasn't sure there'd be many places open. But it wasn't important for me to know, so I didn't bother asking him.

That was what I'd learnt from spending all this time with him. If it wasn't relevant, keep it to yourself. He always seemed to be so _busy_, and focused on something else, as if his mind was only half here with me. It made it even harder to actually talk to him because I never knew if I was interrupting him mid-thought.

Jasper packed away his map just as I was finishing my food. While he put everything back into his bag, I freshened up and changed as quickly as I could. By five thirty, we were out and driving.

Not long after, he'd merged onto the highway, and I felt the car pick up speed. I snuck a glance at him every now and again, and though he was forever focusing on the road, there was something in the way he drove that told me he was enjoying pushing the car to its limit.

But, then again, he was guy, and in that moment, it didn't matter he was a vampire. Put a guy in a fast car, and he was bound to find it magical.

* * *

We got to Spokane in just under eight hours. With the Aston, he'd managed to knock over an hour off the time he'd stated this morning, and surprisingly, I remembered only a few hours of it.

I couldn't understand how I'd slept for such a long time. When it had approached six, I'd started to feel drowsy, but it was different to what it usually felt like. This was more like someone had slipped me a sleeping pill. My limbs felt heavily and it had been a struggle to even keep my eyes open for a minute.

I couldn't explain it.

I'd had the passing thought that maybe Jasper _had_ slipped me a sleeping pill, but I pushed that notion away almost instantly. All the food and drink I'd had were sealed; there was no way he could have done it.

After a while, I just tried not to think about it. The fact I'd slept for so long was beneficial to the journey, anyway. We'd stopped in Spokane, as expected, but only for about twenty minutes while I ate, drank, and stretched my legs.

It was coming up to two in the afternoon when we got back into the car. Apparently it would take about four and a half hours to drive to Seattle from here, but as that was going on the average Jasper talked about, I assumed the time would be less.

Jasper was anxious to get there, but when I suggested that he could called ahead and let him know we were coming, he rather abruptly told me that he never dealt with business over the phone, especially not with _J. Jenks_.

I didn't fancy questioning him anymore since he was so on edge, so I had to deduce that J. Jenks was the forger.

The last few hours of the journey was spent in silence, until I got tired of that, and put the radio on. He didn't comment on it, so I could only assume he didn't object to it being on. Not that it would have mattered, anything was better than the silence.

Nearing the last hour of the journey, I was really starting to get sick of the car and the lack of room to really stretch out. I knew we weren't going to stop again until we got to Seattle; so I focused on the fact that, once we got to see J. Jenks, it would be at least a couple of days before the flights and passports were sorted out. Giving me enough time to relax and prepare for the next leg of our mammoth journey.

We finally arrived about five thirty, a whole twelve hours after leaving Billings this morning. But it took another twenty minutes to weave through the city streets.

I hadn't very much experience when it came to this kind of thing. Honestly, I expected some shady alleyway that nobody went down unless they wanted to do something dodgy. It wasn't a place I could see Jasper going, but it wasn't as if he couldn't look after himself. Me, on the other hand…

But Jasper surprised me yet again when he parked up in a high class, suburban area. Initially, I assumed he was going to leave me here with the car while he went to a meeting place. It wouldn't look suspicious to leave a car like this here, but to take it with him...that would draw attention.

It didn't take me long to realise I was actually being very stereotypical. _You're so naïve, Angela_. It was obvious that I'd watched too many films.

"Come on, it's not far from here," he said as he got out the car. Even though I wasn't that much shorter than him, I still had to jog to catch up with him. The neighbourhood he led me to, grew moreprosperous as we went on, and I soon realised how very mistaken I had been.

Finally, we came to a stop at a building that had a sign above the door. _Jason Scott: Attorney at Law_. My eyebrows rose in surprise as I read it. This guy was an _attorney_?

"I thought you said he was a forger?" I half whispered as I followed him through the quiet building.

"He is," he replied instantly, his voice quieter now, too. "This is one of his official businesses. Do you expect him to have an office for illegal dealings?"

Again, there was that condescending intonation to his voice, as if he was explaining something to someone who was slow on the uptake. "J. Jenks is his alias. He won't have his real name linked to anything like this, as it would be too easy to track back to him if things go wrong."

I frowned; _that_ I could understand… "So why are we coming here if he doesn't want anything illegal to link back to this place?"

"All high profile clients come here," he said simply as we drew near the main reception area. If it had been anyone else, I would have teased them for classing themselves as _high profile_. But it was Jasper, he _was_ high profile. That's just how it was with him.

As we got closer to the desk, the girl sitting behind it casually looked up in our direction. When her gaze landed on Jasper, her eyes widened, and she all but dived for the phone. A second later, she had the receiver to her ear.

"Mr Scott, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Mr Jasper has just arrived." She paused, her eyes widening even more as she heard his response. "Right away."

She put the phone down and then stood up abruptly, holding a shaking hand out towards the door at the end of the hall.

"Mr Scott is ready to see you, sir."

The girl looked as if she was expecting Jasper to bite her head off any second. If she didn't look so genuinely scared, I could have found it amusing. It was clear from the way she was acting, that Jasper had been here many times and was an important customer. But why? How many times would he require a forger?

That, I knew, was a question for another time.

Jasper moved away, heading for the door. I went to follow him, but he stopped and turned back to me, nodding his head towards some chairs lined up against the wall.

"Wait here," he instructed firmly. "I'll be out shortly."

But even the seriousness of his voice wasn't enough to make me stay put this time. "I don't think so," I muttered, mustering a sudden bout of confidence from somewhere. "I'm coming with you."

At first, he looked as if he was going to argue with me. But in the end, his jaw tightened and he said, "Fine. But stay behind me and _don't_ say a word."

Even though I was sure he was letting me go just so it didn't make a scene, it still felt like a kind of victory for me. He turned without another word, making me jog to catch up with him once again. Before walking through the door, I snuck a glance at the receptionist, who was now watching me. There was a look of pure disbelief on her face, as if she couldn't understand why I was here – or more precisely, why I was with _Jasper_.

I ignored her, and followed Jasper as he walked right into the office without knocking. As soon as we were inside, something changed. Jasper strode across the room as if he owned the place. There was an air of power exuding from him, and in that moment, he wasn't Jasper anymore, not to me.

When I pulled my eyes away from him, I turned to study J. Jenks for the first time. He was short, balding, and probably in his fifties. If I'd though the girl outside was scared of Jasper, then this guy was absolutely petrified.

He stood up as Jasper approached his desk, he then glanced at me, nodded, and shot straight to Jasper, as if he was too afraid to look away for longer than a couple of seconds.

"What can I do for you, sir?" he asked, his voice trembling, sweat beads forming on his forehead. My brow furrowed as my gaze flickered from Jenks to Jasper, almost as If I expected to see something completely different.

But it was just Jasper staring back at him. The only thing that looked different was the despicably contemptuous expression on his face. Whatever was scaring Jenks, I couldn't see it.

Maybe Jenks really did know Jasper was a vampire? To me, the vampire part of him was the only thing that _could_ properly scare me as it was scaring Jenks. But, then again, I was biased when it came to him.

"One passport, two plane tickets," Jasper instructed, and though he said it with little emotion, it was a demand. Jenks couldn't decline even if he wanted to. He sat down, reaching for his papers with a hand that was shaking more than the girl outside.

"What details would you like to go in the passport?"

"Female, aged twenty, date of birth: seventeenth of March, nineteen eighty-eight…" Jasper rattled off some other details that I didn't pay attention to. The date of birth was random, but given the age, I knew he was keeping some things the same.

"What name?" Jenks asked as he scribbled down all the details.

"Make it up, it doesn't matt-"

"No," I interrupted Jasper, making them both turn to look at me. "Louise." My gaze flickered to Jasper. "It's my mother's name."

In the few seconds after, his expression softened, and there was an understanding in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. It became clear to me he knew about my parents' death. Though I didn't know _how_ he knew, I felt comforted by it.

The moment slipped away, and the hardened mask was back on his face. Jenks looked from me to Jasper, as if waiting for confirmation. Jasper nodded once, and Jenks wrote the name down.

"I can pick something generic for the surname," he muttered, more to himself than either of us. "I'll need a picture, of course, but that isn't hard to arrange. When will you like the passport to be ready?"

Barely a second passed before Jasper said, "As soon as possible. We plan to fly out in the next couple of days."

"The next couple of days?" Jenks echoed weakly, looking a little nauseous. "But, sir, that's a very rushed order. I don't kn-"

"I don't _recall_ giving you a choice." Jasper spoke low, menacing, and the tension in the room tripled as he leant forward over the table, his hands either side of Jenks. I watched, holding my breath as Jenks blanched a sickly white colour.

In that instant, I knew why Jenks was so scared of him. Jasper had the power to be truly terrifying, and right now, he was abusing that influence. Jenks mumbled something unintelligible as he tried to write something down, resulting in him dropping the pen from his trembling fingers.

Jasper pulled back, returning to his position of towering over him. It was something I noticed – he didn't sit down. Sitting down made them equals, and Jasper didn't see them as the same, you could tell that from the way he treated him.

He had Jenks in the palm of his hand, and possessed the power to crush him. Not that it would have taken much. One good fright from Jasper and I was certain he'd have some kind of cardiac arrest.

I wasn't sure how I felt about seeing this side of Jasper. Did I like it? Not particularly. Was there anything I could do? No. As bad as I felt for Jenks, I was glad Jasper wasn't like this with me. The silence and the one-worded responses were ten times better than the front he put on here.

When I looked over at Jenks once again, I saw he was trying to collect himself before looking up at Jasper.

"And the tickets?" he finally croaked out.

"The same as before."

Jenks nodded, and then clearly faltered over what he was going to say next. I could tell it was something challenging, or else he wouldn't have had any trouble with it, even with Jasper looming over him as he was.

"W-would you like them to be one way again?" he finally asked, his voice so quiet I actually had to strain to hear it. But when the words sink in, I felt my heart flip uneasily in my chest. One way…

For the first time since entering, I began to feel fear rippling through me. If Jasper agreed, then that meant…

His head turned sharply in my direction, and he stared long and hard, as if he was trying to see something that wasn't there. Then finally he murmured, "No. Return tickets."

I physically relaxed, releasing my breath. But only for a second, as it dawned on me that Jenks had said _again_, which meant Jasper had already bought a one way ticket the last time he was going to Italy.

But why? Why would he get a one way ticket?

My heart thudded in my chest as the truth rained down on me. You only bought one way tickets when you thought you weren't coming back again.

Jasper thought he wasn't coming back.

* * *

**A/N****: I quite enjoyed writing the Jasper/Jenks scene. He's going to be appearing a little later on, so I'm looking forward to writing that. If you have time, leave me a quick review.**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N****: Chapter 12!**

**To my readers and idealskeptic, thank you. Updating may be a little slower after this. I hate to have to say that, but I haven't finished the next chapter.**

**Kayjanna - thank you for your review, I was unable to reply as you have the PM function disabled.**

**Disclaimer****: If I didn't own Twilight in the past eleven chapters, I certainly won't now.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: The Waiting Game**

I barely said a word as we walked away from Jenks' office. Jasper had fallen into his usual quiet, brooding persona, and I was following right behind. I just couldn't understand it. Why would he go there with the intention of never coming back? What about his life here? What about his family – _Alice_?

It made no sense at all. Unless they were already there, of course. But that couldn't be it, a few weeks ago, Jasper had been absent for three days, claiming to have been with Alice. If she was in Italy, three days didn't give him enough time to travel there and back again.

Nothing was adding up, and my head was becoming more and more crowded with each new thought. I needed answers, but how the hell was I going to ask him?

When we reached the car, I hovered awkwardly by the door, not knowing what our next move was going to be. I watched him briefly, sensing that something was on his mind, as well. But whatever it was, he wasn't about to share as he unlocked the car and slid into the driver seat. I followed suit, filling the silence by buckling my seatbelt.

"We need to get your picture taken for the passport," he informed me whilst starting the ignition. I nodded because I still didn't feel capable of proper speech. He seemed to hesitate for a split second, but it was gone so quickly that I was sure I'd imagined it. Seconds later, and he'd put the car into gear.

We didn't go far; there was a photo booth just around the corner. It took all of five minutes, and then we were back in the car, returning to Jenks. Unlike before, I stopped at the door. I couldn't stomach seeing him again, not after what he'd said about Jasper's one way tickets. Besides, I didn't want to see their scared expressions. They were yet another mystery surrounding Jasper that I couldn't fully comprehend.

He didn't question me when I told him that I was going to wait outside, he just stared at me like he did every time he was trying to work something out. He didn't linger, though, I didn't expect him to. There was a job to complete; that was his top priority.

It didn't take him long to return; I was certain he didn't want to spend more time with Jenks that what was necessary. After seeing how quickly he wanted these tickets, I was sure he felt the same way about me. That notion only resulted in making me feel even worse. But what could I do?

Jasper shot me furtive glances as he drove us towards the latest hotel we'd be staying in. I remained steadfast, not wanting to talk to him. If I did, I'd want to get some answers, and right now, I was too damn tired to hear him rejecting my request yet again. I just didn't have the energy for it, and once we checked into our room, I went straight for the bedroom.

Shutting the door behind me, I collapsed down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Even though I was here, alone, my mind was still in the other room, sitting beside Jasper.

* * *

When I awoke the next morning, my head was still abuzz. My dream had been jumbled, flashing between Jasper and my life in Illinois. Ultimately, it was showing me what I'd given up when I'd decided to go with him. I did my best to push it to the back of my mind; there was no point adding it on top of everything else.

By the time I'd finished getting changed, Jasper had ordered me some breakfast. I ate slowly, as there was no need to rush like I had the days before. Jasper didn't have anything to do, either. In the past few days, he'd always been focusing on maps or something else, but now all he had to focus on was me, and that's just what he did.

He'd clearly given up on the quick glances he'd been sending my way yesterday, and had now taken to staring at me. It made me uncomfortable, and I did my best to ignore him. But that wasn't so easy when the only sounds were the ones I made.

Was it going to be like this until we had something to fill the time with? I could only imagine how unbearable it was going to be.

As that realisation drifted over me, I frowned, feeling the same thoughts returning. For years I'd dreamt of being with him, and now I was finally getting that dream and…it just wasn't how I'd expected it to be.

I wasn't enjoying my time with him. But that consciousness was only made worse because I knew, deep down, I didn't want him to go, either. My life wouldn't be the same after this; it certainly wouldn't be the same without him. Later, when he _was_ gone, would I look back at this time?

Would I miss it?

"What's wrong?"

Jasper's voice broke through, jolting me. It wasn't even a question, more a demand than anything, but I still couldn't answer him. What was wrong with me? A lot of things were right now, but I knew what he was referring to.

He sighed. "You've barely said a word since we left J's office yesterday."

My eyebrows rose on their own accord as I turned to look at him. Was he serious? _Barely said a word_? When had I _ever_ done anything _but_ that with him? Why was he noticing now that I was purposely being quiet? I wasn't sure why it bugged me so much, but soon enough I found myself biting back a sarcastic response.

A flicker of surprise flashed across his face, and I knew, even though I'd refrained from saying something, I hadn't hidden it on my face.

"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" he pressed on firmly, controlling his expression. In the silence that followed, I continued to stare at him. How was I going to answer him? So much was on my mind.

Deciding to go for the biggest issue, I kept my voice even as I asked, "Why would you book a one way ticket?"

I could see it in his eyes he already knew what I wanted to say. How he'd worked it out, I wasn't sure. But, this was Jasper, and he was all kinds of impossible. It was about time I gave up trying to work out how he was always one step ahead of me.

As I drifted in and out of my thoughts, it became apparent he wasn't answering me. _Surprise, surprise_. I waited though, giving him the chance, _wishing_ that he'd take it. Wishing he'd prove me wrong. But he didn't.

"Are you not going to tell me?" I asked with an edge to my voice. "You told me these people had something you needed, yet you booked a one way ticket. Why? Surely whatever they had wasn't worth it if you weren't planning on coming back."

His expression tightened, and I knew I'd hit a nerve. But that didn't falter me; his prolonged silence only angered me more.

"Now look who's being the silent one," I muttered bitterly, shaking my head and looking away. I had the sudden urge to get up and leave, to walk out of here and leave him to it. Maybe he'd follow me, but right now, it was hard to imagine that he would. It was probably best that I spent some time alone now, anyway. It was happening again, like the day he'd told me we were going to Italy.

I was getting angry, and it was only getting -

"I've already told you. Now is not the right time," he said through gritted teeth, interrupting me mid-thought.

That was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore; he was going to kill me with all this secrecy. I just needed _something_, but it was _never_ the right time for him, and it was driving me _insane_.

"Well when _is _the right time, Jasper? Two minutes before we're due to arrive?" I jumped to my feet, the chair screeching across the floor. "After everything I've given up for you, I think I deserve to know what the hell you've dragged me into!"

The couch moved as he stood up; his movement too quick for my eyes to follow. "You've no _idea_ what you're asking me to tell you," he growled out, his jaw tight.

I knew what he meant; I knew he was reminding me of the sheer gravity of the situation, that this wasn't something he could tell me lightly. But, in that moment, I just couldn't see it that way.

"No, you're right, I have no idea. But why would I? I'm just a stupid little human amongst the supernatural. I shouldn't even be here!" I spat the words as tears welled into my eyes. "I was fine before you and your family arrived, and then you came into my life and everything changed!"

"You think I don't know that?" he demanded, his eyes flashing, his hands shaking. "You think I don't know that what happened three years ago started the change of events that led me here? Every _second_ of the day I am reminded that this was _my_ fault, and I do _not_ need you to remind me, too."

My pulse was thrumming in the aftermath of his outburst, and for a split second, I couldn't breathe as I clenched my hands, my nails digging into the palms. It was the most he'd told me. _His fault_. But what was his fault? What had happened that I didn't know about? My heart flipped, blood rushing past my ears.

_What had he done?_

With the flick of a switch, his eyes went from the tawny, ochre colour they'd been in the past few days, to an ominous pitch black.

His whole body was rigid, with only a slight tremor in his tightened fists. Before I could fully comprehend the change in his demeanour, a swell of fear slammed into me, the strength of it propelling me towards the door. I wrenched it open without a backwards glance and ran out into the hallway.

The door closed behind me as I leant back against the wall, clutching at my chest whilst trying to calm myself down. The fear diluted and vanished as quickly as it had formed. There was just a weaker version left in its place, one that sat at the back of my throat like a bad taste. I couldn't understand where it had come from, or why it had been so strong so quickly.

Whatever it was, it made me get of there.

I was beginning to understand it wasn't safe for me when his eyes changed like that. They'd been pitch black the day he'd tried to attack me, and again when I'd tried to kiss him a few weeks before. I wasn't sure what it meant, but at present, I was uncertain whether I even wanted to find out.

Knowing that I couldn't go back inside, I started walking. Once I reached the lift, I made my way down to the first floor, feeling relieved that I'd put on some shoes before eating my breakfast. I didn't have anything with me, no money, no cell phone, but going back to retrieve my purse just wasn't an option.

So when I got outside, I kept walking. I didn't know where I was going, or how _far_ I would go, but the cool morning breeze helped me to soothe my frazzled mind. Eventually, I came to a stop at a bench and settled myself upon it.

For a long while I just sat there, watching people walk by on their way to work. I didn't know what was going to happen later. What would I say to him? _When_ would I go back? Relatively speaking, my life was in his hands. I had no money, and no identification; Jasper really was the only thing I had to rely upon, and having arguments like that made doing that even harder.

I ran my hands over my face, hiding the world from my view. This trip had changed me so much. It was putting a strain on everything I knew and now I was angrier now more often than I'd ever been in my life, and I didn't want that. I felt bad about what Jasper had said. He blamed himself for what happened, on Bella's birthday _and_ everything subsequent to that – whatever it was, and all I'd done was added something else on top of it all.

When it came down to it, I didn't blame him. I didn't see it as his fault at all, more mine than anyone's. But how could I tell him that, when earlier I'd all but said it was his fault? Remembering what I said, I closed my eyes, feeling guilt course through me.

I jumped a mile when I opened my eyes a few minutes later to see him sitting beside me. I hadn't even registered his presence, let alone heard him approach. After catching my breath, I snuck a cautious glance at him, absorbing the impassive expression and light gold eyes. They were lighter than they'd been, even before the initial change.

_His eyes_. Another thing I didn't understand.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as he slid my purse across the bench. I took it, mumbling a thank you before moving to meet his eye. They were holding the emotions his face lacked, and I could see that he meant it. For what he was apologising for, I wasn't sure, as he didn't elaborate, and I wasn't going to ask him to.

"I'm sorry, too, for shouting at you," I whispered, clutching the purse to my chest. "I'm just so on edge at the moment. So much has happened in the past few days, and I just…I can't seem to wrap my head around it all because I don't know what it is I have to prepare for, and that's not a dig at you. I know that if it wasn't so important, you would have told me by now."

"I made a promise to you, Angela," he said gently, his voice being such a stark contrast from earlier. "I promised I would tell you, and I don't plan on breaking that. But, all this, it's so much bigger than you could ever imagine. I need you to be patient with me. Please?"

I nodded; I just didn't have it in me to decline him what he wanted. When I looked at him, I could see flickers of the emotions he held back, and I wanted to know so badly what caused them. But I couldn't; I had to be patient – that was all he asked of me now.

"It's going to be a couple more days before J comes through with the papers." He signalled to my purse. "I've given you some money so you can buy things while we're here. It means you don't have to ask me for money if there is something you need for the flight."

"Thank you," I replied, not knowing what else to say. I knew he was just making things easier for me. I knew that if there was something I needed, I would hesitate to ask for money, and most probably would end up going without.

He nodded once. "I've got a few things I need to sort out before we go, so it's probably best that you have the key to our room."

The thrill I got from hearing him say _our room _was so impromptu that I very nearly laughed at my idiocy. I held it back at the last second, and took the key as he handed to me. With one last nod of his head, he got up and walked away. I watched him until he disappeared out of sight before I went to put the key in my purse.

I faltered when I spotted the money he'd put in there. My eyes widened as I fingered the green bills. I couldn't tell how much was in here, but it was still a lot more than I'd have expected him to give me.

As a fleeting thought, I realised that if I wanted to, I could run from here, away from him. He'd given me enough to get me out of the state, even without my passport. Buying a bus ticket would be easy, and it would be hours before he even realised I was gone. Would he come after me? Maybe. But I couldn't do that to him, even after everything that had happened; I just couldn't run away from him.

* * *

Over the next few days, I did as he suggested and bought things I would need for the rest of our journey. It was only a few items – toiletries, mainly. I'd bought some more clothes, too, as I wasn't sure how far I could stretch the ones I'd brought from home. On a whim, I'd also purchased a book to read. I knew the flight across America was going to be long, and the transatlantic one even longer, and a book was one of the best things to keep me occupied.

I'd called Carla, too. Jasper hadn't been there at the time, not that it mattered much. She sounded relieved to hear me, and we talked until she had to go. She'd tried to find out where I was heading, but I just couldn't tell her, and when I'd cut the call, I'd sat weeping to myself until Jasper came back, and I had to hastily wipe my eyes.

Aside from that, I spent a lot of the time waiting. Sitting and waiting.

It took Jenks four days to get the papers ready. Jasper was getting antsy; it was clear he didn't like to wait, and if he hadn't have gotten the confirmation on the fourth day, Jenks would have had it. I stayed behind when Jasper went to meet Jenks, deciding it was best if I didn't see the hard time Jasper was bound to give him.

When he came back, he had a brown envelope in his hand. Which I found quite amusing, giving that it was an illegal dealing.

"Our flight is tomorrow at nine," he informed me as he went to his bag and placed the contents of the envelope inside. "We stop off at Miami, and then catch our flight to London at six thirty."

"Then London to Italy?" I asked faintly, the enormity of what was ahead of us finally settling in. It was funny, really. I'd always wanted to go to England, Italy, too, and now that I was going there…I wasn't looking forward to it at all, especially when I didn't know what would greet me when we got there.

He nodded. "We'll be in Italy in three days."

I gulped and looked away, feeling lightheaded. Three days. That's all we had left. He must have sensed my uncertainty, as he stopped what he was doing to appraise me. When I met his gaze, I was sure I caught a flash of sympathy.

"It'll be okay," he said simply, and though it wasn't a very convincing assurance, I tried to believe him. It was about all I had right now. I frowned when he went for the door.

"Are you going again?"

He paused, looking back over his shoulder. "Yeah, there's something I need to do."

"Oh." Nothing else would come to me. I looked past the vagueness of his response and let him leave. I knew that if it concerned me, he would have said something…I think. I wasn't sure how long he was going for, so I decided to settle in and read for a little while instead of trying to sleep.

But the book held my attention for only a short amount of time before my mind started to wander. It didn't wander far – to Jasper's bag, to be more precise. For some reason, I had the urge to look at the passport. It didn't feel right to look through Jasper's bag, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I quickly ambled over to it.

Luckily, I spotted the passport in one of the side pouches. As simple as it was, I didn't fancy riffling through his clothes. He didn't do that to me – as far as I was aware, at least, so I wasn't going to do the same. But when I pulled out the passport, I had his in my hands, too.

I stared at it for a long moment, wondering whether I should put it back. In the end, I decided to take it back to the couch. It was only his passport; it wasn't so bad, right?

The one I opened first was mine. Well, it was Louise Jefferson's, but the picture was mine, at any rate. I turned it over in my hands a couple of times, but to me, it looked completely real. I didn't have a clue what to look out for in fakes, but I could see why Jasper used J. Jenks; he was clearly very talented at what he did.

When I moved onto Jasper's passport, my pulse started to race. It was silly, really; it wasn't as if I was looking at something real personal to him, but it still felt like it as I turned to the most important page.

I stared at his picture, feeling my pulse race for a whole other reason. His gaze was still intense, and enough to hold me in my place, and it was just a picture. It was when my eyes travelled towards the information beside his picture where I got the biggest surprise. Where I'd been expecting Jasper Hale, it read Jasper _Whitlock_.

My brow furrowed as I tried to remember whether I'd ever heard of that name before. But the only conclusion I could come to was that if I had, it wasn't related to Jasper. I quickly scanned the rest of the information, seeing that he was down as being twenty-two.

It made me wonder just how old he really was; he looked as if he could have pulled twenty-two, so maybe he was, in the physical form, at least. But that wasn't what I focused on the most. It was his surname.

Was this passport a fake? Was it just another surname Jenks had made up? If it _was_ real, surely it would have said Hale? Or even Cullen, after all, he was part of their family, even if he was adopted. Or maybe Whitlock was his biological name…

It took me nearly a minute to realise what I was thinking. _Adopted_. I couldn't believe I was still thinking that. I was obvious that was just a story they told people to fit in. Vampires didn't _adopt_. That word sounded so…_human_.

I was still thinking about it when I heard something from outside the room. Without thinking, I bolted from my chair and hastily replaced the passports. I'd just made it back to the couch when the door opened and Jasper stepped inside.

All he did was look at me, and already I knew he was suspicious. I must have been an open book because his brow furrowed as he looked towards his bag and back again. _How did he know_? It was all I could think over the sound of my pounding heart. When he wandered over to his bag, I nearly had a heart attack.

"You just had to ask, you know," he said rather bluntly as he looked over his shoulder. "Better that than having to go through my bag."

My breath caught and I winced, wishing I'd made a dash for my room instead. "I'm sorry. I swear I didn't look through everything…just the passport."

_Plural, passports_.

"It's fine." He pulled some clothes from his bag, and that's when I properly looked what was different about him. I hadn't noticed when he'd first walked in, being too worried about the passports to detect the change. But now I could see it clearly.

His clothes.

They were ruffled from more than just normal wear. There was stain on his back, as if he'd been tackled to the ground. My brow pulled together even more when he turned around, and I spotted something else on the front. It was red, and looked a hell of a lot like-

"Aren't you going to ask me?"

I snapped my gaze from his shirt before he noticed. I didn't want to believe it…it couldn't be. That's not what he had been doing while he was gone.

"Ask what?" I asked, my voice cracking under the pressure of the thoughts I was trying to suppress.

He appraised me silently for a couple of seconds before replying. "Whatever questions you have for me. I don't doubt you have something you want to ask."

I opened and closed my mouth, deciding to think about it first before blurting out any old thing. I wanted to ask him about the stains on his clothes, and I almost did, but I caught myself, and when I tried to work up the courage, I realised I didn't have any.

I was too scared to ask.

Instead, I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Where did you get the name Whitlock from?"

"It's my real name – my human one," he replied simply whilst leaning against the table. That surprised me. The fact he'd actually answered, paired with the small piece of information he'd partaken.

"Why didn't you ever use it? I mean, you were listed as Hale in Forks," I told him, remembering back to when I'd accidently come across one of his workbooks in class. It had been a bizarre moment, and I could still remember the surprise I'd felt when I'd seen how neat his handwriting was. Back then, I'd merely added it to the long list of things he pulled off flawlessly.

"Let me change first," he said, signalling towards the clothes in his hands. "Then I'll answer your questions."

My eyebrows rose a little at his latter comment. He would answer my questions? Oh, sure, until I got onto the heavier topics. I was certain he wouldn't keep answering them then. But I knew I wasn't going to push for that, not tonight, the fact he was willing to answer my questions was new, and I wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

While he was changing, I thought some more about his real name. _Jasper Whitlock_. I guess it suited him. He'd _been_ Jasper Whitlock once, however long ago that was. He'd been human once.

I pulled a face. That didn't fit, even after rolling it around in my mind, I couldn't see it. As strange as the notion of being born as a vampire was, I just couldn't imagine Jasper once being human. It really didn't fit with the way I saw him.

I was still thinking about it when Jasper came out wearing fresh clothes. I watched him as he placed the dirty ones in his bag, and for the briefest of moments, I wondered if he'd cleaned the stains. But I shook the thought away as he came to sit in front of me.

"You wanted to know about our names," he began, and then continued when I nodded. "Hale belongs to Rosalie, while Cullen was Carlisle's family name. We adopted their names for the sake of appearances. It would look a little odd if we all had different names."

I nodded again as he finished, but it was more of a slower response, as I was thinking more about the hint of an accent I'd heard in his voice. When I thought about it, the name thing made a lot of sense, I guess. It would have been strange if they all had different surnames, especially given the fact most of them were attending school.

"Where are you from?"

He looked surprised by my random question. "Texas, why?"

"I catch hints of a different accent sometimes." I shrugged noncommittally. "I just wasn't sure which one it was."

Silence fell over us, which gave me the chance to think some more about the new piece of information he'd shared. It wasn't so hard to believe he was from Texas, and now that I thought about it, it made the most sense. There were intonations in his voice that paired with the Texan accent, and though I wasn't trying to be stereotypical, he _did_ wear cowboy boots all the time…

For some reason, it attracted to him even more, and I had to quickly shake my head before _those_ thoughts could settle into my mind.

"How old are you?" I asked instead, keeping my tone light, but careful. I wanted him to tell me how old he was in vampire years, but somehow, I knew he wasn't going to. From what he'd let slip last month, I could gather that he was at least older than fifty years, but I wanted to know just how old he really was.

As expected, he replied with his human years. "I was nineteen."

I had been looking down at my sleeve as he responded, but I looked up in surprise when it registered in my mind. _Nineteen_? _Technically_, that meant I was older than him. Out of everything he'd told me today, this was probably the hardest thing to believe. He didn't look nineteen at all. Physically, he was leaning more towards what it said in his passport.

His eyes, though…they said far older.

Despite the fact I had so many other questions I wanted to ask, I decided to leave it there for tonight. It was getting late, I was tired, and when it came down to it, I knew I'd rather leave things with him having answered my questions willingly, instead of telling me he didn't want to continue.

"Thank you for answering my questions," I said, giving him a weak smile as I stood up and retrieved my clothes for bed. I could feel his eyes on me as I made my way into the bathroom to change, and he was still watching me when I stepped out again.

"Goodnight, Jasper," I whispered as I hovered in the doorway to my room. He nodded, and as I turned away, I heard him murmur a similar response.

Though there was still a lot I didn't know, and the stains I'd seen on Jasper's clothes were somewhere in the back of my mind, I went to bed with a smile, sensing that tonight was the closest to normal we'd ever got.

* * *

**A/N****: If you were wondering, the sudden fear she felt during their argument was from Jasper. He forced it onto her so that she'd leave. He was rapidly losing control. It was the only sure way he could make sure she was safe.**

**In slightly other news, I'm currently writing an alternate take of chapter 18 for the Fandom Against Famine compilation. If you're interested, you can donate and receive the various one-shots and outtakes. There's a link to their blog on my profile. Aside from that, it won't be available online until December.**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N****: Chapter 13!**

**Sorry for the stupidly long wait. I finished this chapter a while ago, but I wanted to get chapter 14 at least started before I posted, so the wait between this and 14 isn't as big. I actually finished writing it the other day.**

**Thank you to my readers, but most of all idealskeptic. She's also been helping me (a lot) with **_**Collateral**_**, my Fandom Against Famine story, which is an alternative outtake from this story. It's now in two parts, the first part going out in the compilation. You have till the end of the month to donate – the link to their blog is on my profile.**

**Quick thanks and response to Yodes, I was unable to reply to your review, but as for whether Angela will reunite with Bella...well, let's just say something is in the works. But it might not be what you expect. Also, thanks to sweetlilsunshine, I was unable to reply to your reviews too. - I wish FFnet hadn't changed the reply system!**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: A Slip of Control**

The knock on my door came at six. It was Jasper's way of giving me a wake up call. Maybe there was something ingrained into him, or maybe he just didn't want to, but he never stepped foot inside the bedroom. It was as if he saw it as my room, and didn't see fit to come in. To me, it didn't make any odds.

Usually, after he knocked on the door, I'd slowly pull myself out of bed and trundle into the main room without a second thought. While some girls would probably have made some effect to look presentable, I just didn't see the point. There were bigger issues at home, and besides, Jasper didn't look at me, not like that.

Today was no different. I ambled across the room, going for the bottle of water I'd left on the side. I drank some, ignoring the warm taste, and then yawned out a quick good morning before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jasper was already dressed, by the time I'd come back out feeling refreshed. But, then again, he was _always_ already dressed by the time I woke up. I was certain, if I looked in his bag, there wouldn't be a pair of pyjamas in sight. What the hell would he need them for, anyway? I'd come to the conclusion he didn't sleep days ago.

It was only when my mind caught up with myself that I remembered a lingering thought from last night. If I was going to rummage through his bag, it wouldn't be pyjamas I'd look for; it would be the clothes he'd been wearing the night before. More precisely, I'd be looking for the shirt…the stained shirt.

The whole thing was odd; I knew he was a vampire, and what did every vampire need to survive? Blood. The fact Jasper was drawn to blood wasn't news to me, either. I'd worked that out a long, long time ago. But I'd never paid attention to it; I'd never thought about _where_ the blood was coming from, I just took it in stride with everything else.

I tried not to think about it too much as I ate a quick breakfast I'd ordered from room service. I didn't eat as much as I probably should have, but I just wasn't hungry. Jasper waited for me to change and pack up my bag before telling me he was going to check us out.

I wasn't sure why he didn't make me go with him, but the moment he left, my eyes zeroed in on his bag. Like yesterday, I knew it was wrong to go through his things, but it was easy to override. I knew I didn't have much time, so I wasn't going to waste it by dawdling.

Once the bag was open, I sifted through the first layer, trying my best not to disrupt the order. He didn't have many clothes, which confused me because while we'd been here, I hadn't seen him wear the same thing twice. But I pushed the thought away as irrelevant as I found what I was looking for.

My hands were shaking as I pulled it out and unfolded it across the bag. I let out a shuddering breath as I spotted the stain. I hadn't wanted to believe it, but it was unmistakably dried blood. Nausea rolled through me as I quickly folded the evidence and placed it back in the bag, zipping it up.

I sat down heavily on the couch, clasping my shaking hands. After my reaction to the blood, it made it look as if this was the first time I'd found out about vampires. I'd known the truth all along, but seeing the proof made it all too...real.

It was all so hard to absorb; I didn't want to believe that every time he went off alone, he was taking another life. I wasn't scared, though, not for my safety. I trusted him with my life; if I hadn't, I wouldn't still be here with him. I just had to get used to the truth…somehow.

Jasper came back less than a minute later to find me staring aimlessly across the room. He stood in the doorway, just watching and waiting until I finally looked at him. The moment I did, his gold eyes were scanning my face.

When he didn't find what he was looking for, he asked, "What's wrong?"

It was much like the first morning we spent here, except this time I couldn't say it because I didn't want to hear him verbalise my thoughts.

"Nothing," I replied, my voice cracking and giving me away. But there was nothing I could do about it; he knew I was lying. I quickly got up, needing to move away from his persistent gaze. He cocked an eyebrow as he watched me cross the room and pick up my bag.

"Come on, let's go," I said as I brushed past him and went out into the hallway. He chose not to comment on the fact I was still acting strange, and followed me out. I was grateful because I really couldn't deal with him questioning me on it.

We were both silent as he drove. It felt strange to know we were back in the car again, but this time it wasn't going to be for long. We were going to be spending a lot of the next leg of our journey on a plane. The airport wasn't too far from here, and we'd be leaving the car behind.

I idly wondered_ where_ he was going to be leaving the car when he turned off the main road, going to a more secluded spot. I looked around, but couldn't remember seeing any signs for the airport. I was about to ask him where we were, when he stopped outside what looked like a storage facility.

Jasper told me to stay put while he got out and paused in front of a control panel. He punched a code into the number pad, and then fished a key out of his pocket. A second later, there was a loud click, and Jasper was sliding the large door open.

As soon as I caught a glimpse of what was inside, I knew this was yet _another_ one of the Cullens' vast garages. Did they have one in _every _state? Why did they need so many cars?

I was still in a state of shock as Jasper got back in the car and pulled into one of the free spots. This time, he signalled for me to get out, and as he popped open the trunk, I looked at the others cars.

There was a black Mercedes, a dark blue car with a crest I didn't recognise, and two more beneath a tarpaulin at the far end. My legs carried me towards them. I was sure why, but something was drawing me to them, and as the motion sensor lights flickered on above my head, I realised why.

The tarpaulin didn't completely cover them, showing enough for me to see the colours. One was red, the other silver. I already knew what it meant, like a sixth sense. But I still went towards them and lifted the first cover.

It was the red car first, just enough for me to see the logo. _BMW_. I let the material slip through my fingers as I moved onto the silver car with more trepidation. My hands were actually shaking by the time I lifted the second cover.

Then there it was. _Volvo_. Edward's Volvo.

It was an odd sensation to see them, knowing the police had searched for these cars after their disappearance. Had they been here all along? Or had they been moved here recently? I turned to find Jasper standing beside me; like always, I hadn't heard him approach.

"Are they here?" I asked quietly, looking from him to the cars. "The rest of your family, are they in Seattle?"

He shook his head. I couldn't work out whether that was a good thing or not. If they _were_ here, would I want to see them? Probably not. I had no connection with any of them; the only person I'd want to see was Bella.

"They had to leave their cars behind," he informed me shortly. "It was the first time we had to really cover our tracks after leaving town."

"Because of Bella?"

He nodded once and then descended into silence yet again. I took that time to think about how much they would have had to cover up. Jenks must have been very busy during that time. To disappear the way they had, they'd need everything to be renewed.

"Charlie put everything into looking for her," I murmured weakly, knowing now that he really hadn't stood a chance of finding her. "A lot of people thought she was dead, but he never listened to any of them."

"He knows she's alive." This time he spoke with some reluctance to his voice, as if he wasn't sure whether to tell me or not.

I tried to decipher his expression. "What do you mean?"

"About a month after the initial investigation started, Bella called her father to let him know she was safe." He paused, as if he was remembering something. "She wanted to call him sooner, but that just wasn't possible given the situation. Among other things, we had to wait to make sure you didn't tell him, if you had, she probably wouldn't have been able to call."

I stared at the car Rosalie used to drive. "I didn't tell anyone."

"I know," he said simply.

We stood together for a moment, both lost in thought. It made me feel a little better to know that I really had made the right choice. Seeing Charlie so lost without Bella had really made me doubt myself, but it was a relief to find out he had at least known she was safe.

"He never gave up the search though." I looked at Jasper for his reaction. "Even when he knew she was safe, he still kept looking."

"He couldn't call off the search, it would have looked too suspicious," he told me before moving forward and straightening the tarpaulin over Rosalie's BMW. "I think a part of him still hoped they'd find her and bring her back to him."

His gaze lingered on the car for a second longer before he turned and walked back to the Aston. I watched him, noting how there was something different about him. He seemed less…formal, I guess.

Maybe it was just the choice of topic, but he seemed to respond to me a lot more now. Compared to what he was like when he first arrived over a month ago, there was a definite change. I smiled to myself at that. As silly as it was, to see him being more comfortable around me was a light in the otherwise dark setting.

Leaving the cars behind me, I wandered over to where he was standing in front of a safe mounted on the wall. At first I couldn't tell what he was doing, but as I got closer, I saw he was writing something.

I wanted to ask, but before I could, he folded the paper and placed it with the keys to the Aston. He then locked the safe and headed for the bags he'd left by the car. A third bag had joined them, and my thoughts earlier about his clothes fell into place. He must have been keeping one of them in the Aston at all times, just alternating them out.

"So, what now?" I asked as he picked up one of his bags. I went to take mine, but he beat me to it and took it in his free hand. His second bag was smaller, which meant it could sit under his arm. Even so, I wanted to protest. Regardless of how attractive the chivalry was, he didn't need to take all the weight.

But before I could say a word, he shot me a look that said _don't bother_. While he carried them out, I remembered he hadn't yet answered my question. While I waited, I tried to help by shutting the main door, but when I pulled on the handle, the thing barely moved.

"Stop it, you're going to hurt yourself," he said as he came up behind me. I grumbled something unintelligible as he shut the door just as easily as I would have done my own front door.

He had to enter something into the control panel, so I took my chance and quickly grabbed my bag from the floor. When he turned to see me with the bag, he merely exhaled and stared at me resignedly for a couple of seconds before reaching in his pocket.

"I'm going to call us a taxi," he informed me as he dialled a number and brought the cell to his ear. He gave them our location then signalled for me to follow him back up to the main road.

"They won't be long," he said as he led me towards a bench, placing the bags beside it. I sat down, expecting him to join me. Instead he stood alongside me, his hands clasped tightly behind his back in that ever formal position of his.

I chuckled to myself quietly as I watched him, which didn't go unnoticed as he glanced down at me, his brow furrowing.

"What?"

I shook my head, straightening my smile. "Aren't you going to sit down?"

He looked down at the space beside me, as if weighing out his options, and then finally came and settled himself on the bench. I snuck a quick glance at him as I wrung my hands together to warm them up.

It was just after six forty-five, and the morning breeze was quite cold; it was still kind of dark, too, so I couldn't understand what Jasper was looking at. I left him to it, though, and started thinking about the note he'd left in the safe. Who was it for?

"What did the note say?" I'd verbalised the question before I was even aware of it. He snapped out of his gaze and half turned towards me.

"It was for Rosalie and the others," he replied, answering the question in my mind instead of the one I'd spoken aloud.

"Oh." I nodded slowly, taking what I could from his response. "Was it about the car?"

He took longer to respond this time, as if he was thinking how best to answer. Finally he nodded and turned back to looking out across the road. I didn't take my eyes off him because somehow I got the impression there was something he wasn't telling me, and I just couldn't work out what it was.

I didn't have time to ask him anything else as the taxi arrived not even a minute later. Jasper jumped up to flag it down. Two minutes later, the bags were in the trunk and we were on our way.

As expected, the airport was only about fifteen minutes away and soon enough, Jasper had paid the driver and we joined the queue to check in. My nerves returned to me as we approached the desk; Jasper had given me 'my' passport, and all I could think was _what if they realised it was fake_?

My anxiety reached boiling point as we were called forward, and I could barely meet their eye as I handed it over. It was a good thing Jasper was so calm because if I'd been the one to talk, it would have given me away immediately.

In the end, everything went through smoothly, and I found myself letting out a shaky breath as I followed Jasper through the duty free area.

It was almost an hour later that we finally boarded the plane. That was when a whole new bundle of nerves hit me, and they had nothing to do with the flight itself. In six hours, we'd be one step closer to Italy, and after that, we'd be leaving the States altogether.

* * *

Four hours into the flight, I was really beginning to get quite restless. The in-flight meal had been and gone, and I'd been sitting with my book for the last half an hour. As always, Jasper was very quiet beside me. He even had the window seat, though he wasn't making use of it at all. For well over an hour, he'd been sitting in an almost statue-like manner with his eyes closed.

If I didn't know better, I'd have said he was asleep.

I knew he wasn't, though. He was in his own little world, and unlike before, his mind was one hundred percent in that other place he disappeared to sometimes. He wasn't even breathing, which was more than a little freaky. But being that we were had the row of seats to ourselves, I was the only one around to witness it.

I tried not to look at him too often; if he caught me watching, he would probably get up and sit somewhere else. I really didn't want that because as pathetic and insignificant as it was, it made me feel better to know he was right beside me.

The seatbelt light flashed on above my head just as a voice came on over the loudspeaker, informing us that we were going to pass through a patch of turbulence. I placed my book on my lap and went to buckle my belt. But as I did so, an elderly woman walked past on her way to her seat.

I winced as she stumbled and fell down, throwing her hands out to brace herself. An air stewardess rushed forward to help her, and though I shouldn't have sat there gawping at her, I couldn't help but watch as she looked down at her hands.

She must have gotten carpet burn because they looked a little red. In fact, I think she'd broken the skin on one hand, as there was some-

Something clicked in my mind the second there was a sound of snapping plastic to my left. I looked at Jasper immediately, noticing his hand was now gripping the broken armrest, the skin strained over his knuckles.

"Jasper?" I called carefully, apprehension lacing my tone. His eyes flickered open, and his tortured black irises stared at me, the desperation and hunger in them making fear pulse through me.

Breath hitched painfully in my throat as I found I couldn't pull myself away from his burning gaze. It was only when his eyes rolled back and snapped shut was I able to break the hold they had over me.

Trying to regain myself, I put a mental block on my fear and looked around. The woman was still on the floor; there must have been more injury than just her hand because she couldn't get up.

I knew the longer she stayed there, the more danger she was in. The last time I'd seen Jasper come into proximity with blood, he'd tried to attack me, and this woman was too close. She had to move, but by the looks of things, she wasn't going anywhere.

My only other option was to move Jasper, and if I was going to take this upon myself, then I had to act fast. I drew in a deep breath to calm myself before turning back to Jasper. He was in the same position, but his jaw was locked as if he was gritting his teeth.

My hand shook a little as I tentatively place it on his forearm. He didn't flinch or open his eyes, but the muscles beneath my fingertips tensed at the contact.

"Jasper." If I was going to actually succeed in making him move, I needed to get his attention. "Do you think you can move?"

His eyes opened, and for the first time ever, I saw vulnerability in them. He didn't know…I'd asked him if he could move and he didn't know.

"It's okay," I said quietly, trying to bring some strength to my voice. "You can do it…I know you can. I trust you."

It felt wrong to encourage him, only because he never usually needed it, but it was all I had. Somehow it seemed to work as he shifted in his seat and finally stood up. His movement was wooden and stiff, and as I stood up and moved into the aisle, he completely froze, his gaze trained on the scene before us.

I quickly moved to block his view. "Close your eyes," I instructed firmly, and breathed out a quiet sigh of relief when he did as he was told. But without his vision, I was the only thing he had to rely upon for sight.

I didn't know what to do; if I started giving him instructions it would draw too much attention, and that wasn't what he needed. So I instinctively slipped my hand into his, curling them together. It struck me how cold his hands were. They were like ice, matching the ghostly pallor of his skin.

His fingers twitched minutely, that being the only perceivable reaction to my touch. "Just follow my voice, okay?"

He didn't respond, but I took it as a confirmation when I moved into the aisle and he followed me. I didn't dare look to see if people were watching. I kept up a string of weak encouragements, not knowing what else to say to him. The reality of the situation was sitting heavily upon my shoulders, and I felt completely out my depth.

My voice wavered every time I glanced at him; the pained expression he wore tore at me harder than I thought it would. Was this what it was like for vampires? Was this what they went through every time they came into contact with blood?

This life was hell for them, surely.

Shaking the thought from my head, I focused on where I was leading him. It seemed luck was on my side, as the further we got, the less people there actually were. Finally, I stopped at an empty row and told him to sit.

He didn't need me to guide him any further, so I perched on the seat beside him. His grip tightened when I started to pull my hand away, and as my eyes flashed towards him, I saw he was staring at me.

There was something in his eyes that told me not to let go. His gaze flickered to our hands and his fingers curled around mine. Even if I wanted to let go, I couldn't. This was so different to what we were usually like together; it was uncharted territory and I didn't really know how to deal with it.

But I had to find a way. He needed me now more than ever, and though I didn't know what I was doing, I wasn't going to pull away.

"Okay," I said quietly, nodding as I brought my legs up on the chair. He closed his eyes and returned to the statue he'd been for the majority of the flight. I took to staring at him for a while, taking in the strong jaw, the curve of his lips, but even that made my pulse race, and paired with everything else, it was becoming too much. It didn't feel right to be having these thoughts in a moment like this.

It was obvious he was suffering; you could see that in the way he held himself. My thoughts from earlier came back to me, and I unsuccessfully tried to push them away. It was impossible to imagine a life like that – hell, what kind of life was it, anyway? I'd seen Jasper so close to the edge a few times now, and all in the space of a few months.

Once again, the same question came back. Was this what it was like for vampires? Were they always on edge around humans, worried something would happen?

This _must_ have been hell…

In the end, I closed my eyes and rested my head against my knees. I focused on just the feel of his icy hand in mine, allowing it to calm me down completely. If I sat here thinking about what he was going through, it wouldn't help me settle down enough to deal with it later when he was more in control.

I wasn't sure what would happen later, but I had to be prepared for anything.

* * *

Time seemed to drag by. I had no means of finding out how long we had left, and anyone that did walk by us didn't falter. Not that I opened my eyes; I'd barely moved since closing them, and I was certain Jasper hadn't either.

The only thing I wanted to open my eyes for was Jasper, and I finally did, a long while later, when I felt his hand twitch in mine. I lifted my head from my knees to look at him. His eyes no longer held the stark, blackness they had. They were now a tawny, brownish colour – the closest to human I'd ever seen.

They flickered to meet my gaze as he pulled his hand from mine. I knew there was something he was trying to get across, but he didn't say anything and neither did I, and when the seatbelt sign came on, we both looked away.

It took another twenty minutes for the plane to land, and while the other passengers were eager to get off, Jasper remained seated, staring vigilantly down the aisle towards those closest to us. Given what happened earlier, it was understandable he didn't want to get up while there were many passengers still on the plane.

At long last he silently rose from his seat. His whole demeanour seemed stiff and tense; nothing had changed since earlier. This was still dangerous for him. But the difference was I had faith in him; I believed he was strong enough to get through it.

When we passed by our old seats, I saw the damage to the armrest wasn't as noticeable as I first thought it would be. They'd find it soon enough, but hopefully we'd be long gone by that point.

I had the same apprehension as we went through security, but everything went as smoothly as it had back in Seattle, and as our bags were in transit, we didn't need to collect them. With only the long wait before our next flight ahead of us, Jasper led me silently through the maze of Miami International.

Jasper followed signs for the main departure lounge, while I just ambled on behind him. He was looking for something, but it was only when he led me towards the exit did I realise his intentions.

"Jasper, I don't think we're allowed to leave the airport when we're on connecting flights," I said, rushing to fall into step with him. He glanced at me before walking the last stretch towards the exit.

"You can wait here if it makes you feel better," he said simply as he reached for the door and pushed it open. I hovered for a moment before following him out. Who was to know we were on another flight, anyway?

When I walked out, he was standing off to the side, away from anyone else. His eyes were closed, and for the first time since being on the plane, I saw his chest visibly moving up and down as he breathed in.

It seemed he was in his own little world again...he'd been waiting for this. I let him have his moment, knowing the past hour must have been really hard for him. He probably just needed to be outside; I was certain the confined space of the airplane was the reason he lost it so badly.

In the end I leant against the wall just behind him and closed my eyes, too. I was certain he knew I was there, even if he hadn't opened his eyes to physically see me. My thoughts were confirmed when I felt something brush my arm.

When I opened my eyes, he was standing beside me. I could tell he was struggling over something, struggling over words he couldn't quite form. To see it, made me uneasy. Jasper never struggled over anything like communication – he either said it or he didn't; I knew enough of him to be certain of that, at least.

After a minute of silence, it finally dawned on me he wanted to talk about earlier. Well, not even that, he just wanted to say something to explain what happened, to justify it, and he didn't need to, he really didn't need to.

"Jasper, you don't have to explain yourself," I said, shaking my head. I wanted to tell him I understood how hard it was for him, but did I? Did I really understand? To say I understood was an insult. I don't think anyone really knew what he was going through.

"I know," he replied, staring at me, but right through me, all at the same time. "I just wanted to thank you. It's what Alice would have done."

Something in his expression broke me, and I soon found myself fighting against the tears that wanted to fall. Jasper was vulnerable again, but there was something more to it than that, and it was so obvious to me now. He was lonely…Jasper was so lonely. Like me, but so much worse and I just couldn't work out why this was happening to him.

On the plane, he'd needed Alice, he'd needed her touch. He was so utterly lost without her; living half a life, if that. Jasper wasn't complete without her by his side, and wherever she was in the world, I was sure she was the feeling the same.

I could remember the way they were around each other – the shared glances, the way he would watch her walk away every time they had to part. The worry, the concern, the love and pure adoration, I'd seen glimpses of them all, and I'd envied her, wishing someone would have even half the feelings for me as Jasper had for Alice.

But now the mere thought made my heart ache. What were the emotions in his eyes now? Not even a shadow of what they used to be. He needed Alice to survive, but she wasn't here…I was all he had; I was the only one who could fill that missing seat.

It was then I vowed that, as long as he let me, I would be there for him. I may not have what it took, nor did I believe I would ever match up, but I would try. For him, I would try.

* * *

The wait was long and tedious. Once we'd silently agreed to go back inside, Jasper had initially led us towards the check in desk, where he requested we were moved up to first class. I had a feeling he wanted the exclusivity. After what happened on the flight from Seattle, I was certain he wouldn't want to be right in the bustle of the economy section again. The coming flight was even longer, and what would happen if he lost control once again?

I wasn't sure I'd be able to help him this time.

Once it was all arranged, we headed towards an area we were allowed to wait until our gate was announced. He didn't say anything, and I didn't expect him to. I didn't know what was on his mind, but this time I was certain it was something else altogether.

The way he vacantly stared ahead sent chills through me whenever I looked at him. I was apprehensive of what it meant. It was only hours later, when we were finally seated on the plane – the seats around us empty, did I find out.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I requested for our seats to be changed," he said, speaking to me for the first time in hours. I watched him cautiously, the sense of foreboding settling into my stomach. I'd been wrong earlier; he hadn't moved us because he was worried he'd lose control.

In a way, I knew what was coming before he even said it.

"I think it's time we talk."

* * *

**A/N****: Apologies, again, for the cliffhanger. I do this a lot...but the big reveal is in the next chapter! Well, half of it :P**

**If you're interested in more about Collateral, you can check out my blog, where I've posted the banner. Link is on my profile. Also, follow me on twitter at FrozenSoldier, I sometimes tweet about the story...among many other things *laughs***


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Chapter 14!**

**Here it is…the first half of the big reveal. I want to thank idealskeptic for pre-reading and generally just being a helping hand through this. Then I want to thank koko23cat for helping me out at the last minute. Not sure what I'd do without them.**

**To save any confusion about dates, this chapter is set in December 2008…unless stated otherwise.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Answers**

It was a translucent moment. I wanted to hear what he had to say, and then suddenly I didn't. After the weeks of unanswered questions and hidden meanings behind things he said, I was about to find out what it all meant, and now I…I wasn't so sure I wanted to anymore. Something must have happened for him to change his mind, to make him want to tell me, and it didn't take a genius to work out the incident on the plane was the tip of the iceberg.

Thankfully Jasper seemed to be giving me the space to prepare myself for what was coming next. I had a feeling he was preparing himself, too, and I was relieved he wasn't looking my way. Usually he assessed my reaction, and right now, he wasn't. It made me want to gauge his behaviour, instead.

He wasn't looking uncertain of hesitant. He'd made up his mind to tell me, and there was no way he'd back away now. It didn't seem like something he would do. The worst thing was he looked like he was finally ready to talk, and it terrified me.

After this, we'd be one huge step closer to whatever lay ahead.

"Before I tell you this, there are a few things you have to understand," he began. He didn't look around for anyone who could eavesdrop before continuing. He must have already known we were pretty much alone. "Vampires are _different_ to humans. We do not need oxygen to survive, which means we can go for long stretches without breathing. But it gets uncomfortable after a while, and it restricts our senses."

I nodded as he paused. I could understand that, and it made sense that he hadn't been breathing on the flight from Seattle.

"You don't sleep, do you?" I asked timidly, hoping he didn't mind me asking questions. I was relieved when he shook his head.

"We don't tire; not physically, at least." He met my eye and I knew the message he was trying to get across. There were other ways of being tired, and I'd seen it on his face too many times before.

"Vampires are must faster and stronger than humans, and our five senses are far more refined. It means our hearing and eyesight are beyond anything humans could develop themselves."

Realisation dawned on my quickly. "So, that's how you always knew what to say and when to leave without getting caught…"

"Yes," he said simply. "It's very…beneficial."

He watched as someone walked past our seats. Only when they were out of sight did he continue. I noticed how there was a slight uncertainty to the way he began his next sentence, and I soon realised it was because things were slowly becoming more personal.

"My family and I are different to others of our kind. We only drink the blood of animals."

I had to look away as soon as the words registered. _He __drank __animal __blood_. I wasn't sure whether I was glad, or just plain relieved to know he hadn't been taking a life every time he'd disappeared in the past week. Whatever it was, it felt like a weight had been lifted.

He seemed surprised when I finally looked at him, though there was only a bare hint of it on his face as he watched me. It seemed as if he was trying to work something out, and I had to ask the first question that came to mind because I got the impression he was unsure how to continue.

"Have you tasted human blood before?" I regretted it the moment the question was out. I watched as his expression darkened.

"Yes," he replied bitterly and looked away. He was silent for a minute, his eyes closed. I waited for him to open them again, waiting until he finally came back. "Animal blood sustains us, but it isn't the same. It's taxing to keep up this particular lifestyle. It's all to do with self control, and mine is the weakest."

"It's not," I said without thinking. His gaze drifted away from mine; making it obvious he didn't believe me. But it was _true_. "You're not weak. Just think about earlier, you were being tested, but you never gave in. That doesn't sound like weak to me…"

He laughed to himself once; a dark, humourless thing. "Stop sugar-coating it. I could have killed every single person on the plane."

I was taken aback by his snappy tone and sinister outlook. It was the first time I'd heard him react that way. Jasper always had that dark aura about him, but this was different, and it took him at least a minute to collect himself.

"Sorry," he said shortly, running his hands over his face. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine, really. It'll take more than that to send me running." I held back an impromptu, slightly mad giggle. _Really, __Angela_? "You can say you'd have done…_that_…all you like, but at the end of the day, you didn't do it, did you?"

I sat back in my chair feeling slightly awkward. I wasn't sure where I was going with this sudden bout of reassurances. It was pretty obvious he didn't like to be encouraged about his restraint, which told me he'd had the same speech too many times before.

He exhaled roughly, shooting me a fleetingly tired glance. "Tell me, why do you think that was?"

I didn't respond. _Did __he __really __mean _I _was __the __only __reason __he __didn__'__t __do __it_? I found that hard to believe, and I was half tempted to tell him he needed to have more belief in himself because I couldn't imagine him giving in. But I kept quiet, not wanting to push it now that he was finally willing to open up.

We remained sitting in silence for little while longer. I didn't want to ask him to continue, and when I spared him a few quick glimpses, he looked deep in thought once again. Knowing it was a case of waiting until he was ready, I settled on scoping out the area, checking whether the seats around us were occupied. It was maybe five minutes later that he finally regained my attention.

"My restraint is the reason I was in the forest on Bella's birthday," he said, watching, it seemed, for my reaction.

I looked at him abruptly, surprised by this sudden direction. "What happened?" I asked without thinking.

"Bella cut herself."

"_What?_" I all but shrieked. Jasper promptly signalled for me to lower my voice before I spoke again. "She cut herself in a roomful of _vampires_? Is she _crazy_?"

He inclined his head. "Just a little uncoordinated."

"You'd think she'd be a little more careful, given the circumstances," I muttered, surprising myself at how insensitive my voice sounded. However, it wasn't hard to understand why. Bella _must_ have known they were vampires. If it were me, I'd have taken extra precaution. But that wasn't the only thing.

I was angry because she had made thing so much harder for Jasper. Biased, maybe, but I couldn't help it.

"You're the first person to point that out," he said vaguely. "It's true, though."

He paused, frowning. "I've never admitted that to anyone before."

I lowered my gaze, smiling faintly. Somehow, I was sure I'd have been surprised had he not agreed with me.

"So what happened after that?" I asked when he didn't say anything else.

His expression turned serious once again. "Emmett pushed me out the door before I could react. I shouldn't have turned when I heard you following me. You fell because you were scared, and when you cut your hand, I…"

We both looked away, the memory of that day still fresh on our minds. I wanted to apologise to him, but we'd done enough of that already.

"After he pulled me away, Emmett and I never returned to Forks," he continued, his eyes distant, reliving it. "I knew there was no way we could have stayed after what happened. I'd assumed Bella would remain in Forks so she could stop you from telling anyone. But it came as a surprise when I found out she had come with us. I knew their love was stronger than that, but it meant she had to leave her life behind."

I nodded, understanding his surprise. She'd only just moved back to Forks at the start of the year – Charlie had barely had his daughter back in his life before she'd disappeared. It came as a comfort to remember Charlie had known she was safe, even if he'd found out a few months later.

"How did she cope with it?"

To a point, I could almost relate to her. When I'd moved to Illinois, I had to completely change my life around. The only difference was I didn't really have much of a life to leave. Memories and a handful of friends were really all I had to give up.

"It was hard for her, at first," he replied. He seemed to answer this question easier. "But it got better after she was able to talk to Charlie, and she started to move forward. They were married by June the following year."

I smiled at that. Right from the start I'd known their relationship was going to last. Edward hadn't spared any interest before Bella arrived, but the moment they met something had changed. So it didn't come as a surprise to hear they'd married.

When I looked back at Jasper, however, his mood had dropped completely.

"She fell pregnant a month later," he said; his tone vacant.

The smile slipped from my face as I sensed that something had happened during the pregnancy.

"Did something go wrong with the birth?"

"I don't know." He struggled over his words as he said, "I wasn't there."

My heart thumped against my ribs as I took in his remote expression. I swallowed heavily as I tried to work up to courage to ask him why. When I finally did, my trepidation for the answer was evident.

"Where were you?"

He slowly met my eye, and I knew, just like that. Something had happened while Bella was pregnant; something which had nothing to do with her or the baby.

For a long time I wanted to know what happened. But now he was about to tell me, and the look in his eyes made me wish I'd never asked him at all.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

_September 2006_

I stood in the corner of the room, my hands clasped together tightly behind my back as I watched Carlisle make his way downstairs with a cup of blood. My nostrils flared as I swallowed back the venom which had pooled in my mouth.

My throat burned unbearably as Bella finally took the cup in her fragile hand and sniffed at the contents. I felt my teeth grind together as she placed the straw between her lips. A wave of envy raged through me, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to snatch the cup from her hands and drink it myself – soothing the fire in my throat. I would try not to break her wrist as I took it; the thing growing inside her was breaking enough.

I forced the monster away as a low hiss escaped Edward's lips. He knew I'd never lay a finger on her, but the thoughts, they must have been agonizing. I dragged my eyes away from his wife to look at him. His eyes were jet-black, and I began to wonder whether he wanted to take the cup himself.

It would soothe his thirst; maybe even do him some good. But there was more to it than that. To take the cup away would placate his conscience as much as his thirst. While the blood was helping her, it was slowly making things worse. The thing inside her was draining blood quicker than her body could produce it. The true bloodsucker in a room full of vampires, and it was made worse by the fact Bella was favouring blood to human food more and more every day.

Edward's eyes flickered towards the cup, and then back at me, almost as if to confirm my thoughts. This was slowly killing him, siphoning the life Bella had given him when they first met.

They'd been married only a number of months, spending a couple of weeks on Isle Esme for their honeymoon. I'd missed their presence around the house, as much as it was possible for me to do so. But it had also been a blessing.

When I'd found out Bella was coming with us, I knew what the consequences of that choice would bring. She would live under the same roof as us, her heartbeat, her blood, being a constant thrum in the back of my mind. I knew it was hard to become accustomed to a human living in close proximity, but my wife, my family, they soon adapted.

If only it were as easy for me.

It was common knowledge that over time, something that was once hard would become easier. But that wasn't the case. If anything, it just seemed to get harder, and I found myself spending more time away from the house, distancing myself.

The _honeymoon_ had been my blessing. It had allowed me to return and enjoy my time without feeling a pair of eyes watching me as I entered a room. It wasn't as if I was a threat to her; they just seemed to do it out of habit.

But then Alice had a vision. A vision of Bella having a baby.

It hadn't seemed possible. In all my time as a vampire, I'd never seen nor heard of a human, vampire pregnancy, and the moment I saw my new sister-in-law, I understood why. She wouldn't survive the full term. The only way was to end the cycle, to terminate the thing growing within her before it was too late.

But Rosalie, the one who had sooner suggested the girl was killed on her arrival to Forks only a year previous, had formed an unlikely allegiance with Bella. They both wanted the same thing: the baby.

Everything had gone downhill the moment Edward and his new wife had returned home. Now, here they were, feeding Bella human blood to keep the thing from killing her.

A tiny hand slipping into mine brought me back to the present. I turned to look down at my darling Alice. Her eyes, too, were as black as the night, and the shadows beneath them were darker than I'd ever seen.

Her visions had been chopping and changing, never focusing on one future longer than a couple of minutes. Every time it grew bigger, Bella's course would change and the vision would change with it. If a vampire could have a headache, then this was what the visions were doing to my love.

"Maybe you should hunt for a little while," she told me, trying to offer a weak smile.

"I've hunted more than all of you in this room." As I replied, I did a quick, mental sweep of the room. Carlisle was unable to leave in case something went wrong; Edward and Rosalie never left their post beside Bella, and Esme and Emmett hovered, doing what they could. This, in the end, was nothing. All they could do was stand back and watch, pushed away because Bella was what their loved ones focused on.

"Won't you come with me?"

She glanced at Bella, her gaze lingering before looking back and shaking her head. "I should stay in case I see something new."

I closed my eyes momentarily, knowing that nothing new could come of this. There were only two outcomes – death or immortality.

"Maybe you should just let this happen."

She would never agree to it, I knew that already. She loved Bella too much to do it, but while she was focusing on what would happen to her new sister-in-law, she couldn't see what it was doing to herself.

It was destroying her, just as it was killing Edward. I cared for them all – even Bella – but at the end of the day, it was only Alice. If I thought it would help, I would have taken her away from here already.

"Don't let this destroy you," I whispered as I leant forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips, allowing them to linger. We rarely physically displayed our love in front of the others, but right there, it somehow felt imperative. "I love you."

When I pulled away, she sighed and said, "I love you, too."

I took in her appearance, hoping she would listen to me before it was too late. I let go of her hand and crossed the room, fighting the urge to break into a sprint.

"Was the blood getting too much for him?" Bella asked worriedly after I'd stepped out. "I'm sorry that I'm putting you all under so much strain. I should apologise to Jasper, this isn't fair on him, on any of you."

The corner of my mouth curled into a tired smile. Even when she was battered and bruised, she still felt the need to apologise for what she was doing to everyone else.

"He knows," I heard Edward tell her.

I kept moving until I knew I was out of range from Edward's ability. Nobody was admitting it, but this current state of affairs wasn't going to last much longer. Soon the pregnancy would reach its pinnacle, and either it would drain the life from her body, or steps would be taken to ensure the survival of Mrs Isabella Cullen.

It was the only thing left; the only viable option Edward had, and he knew it.

As wrong as it was, I knew we'd all benefit from her turning immortal. She would become a newborn – intent on only one thing: blood. She would require just as much attention as she did now, but there was one big difference.

Only Alice knew the full extent of my sinister past, Edward knew a great deal, too, largely because of his ability. But the rest of my family still knew enough to be aware of my experience with newborn vampires. They would come to me for help, and after nearly six decades, I finally wouldn't be the weakest of the family.

It would be Bella they focused on now, not me.

But for now I had to endure the shared glance and suggestions that I hunt, even though I was the only one, bar Emmett, who didn't have the look which screamed _hunger_. As it was, I didn't need to hunt at all, and had I thought of it, I should have invited Emmett to come along with me. The company would have been useful.

Instead, I carried on alone, meandering through the forest without a specific destination in mind. I was about four miles out from the house when I caught a different scent, one that didn't belong there.

My eyes darted around the area, suddenly on high alert. It was another vampire. _Victoria_. I'd have recognised the scent anywhere.

Within seconds I began calculating a course of action. My cell was in the top drawer in mine and Alice's room, where it always stayed, and I was too far away to go back for Emmett on foot. By the time we'd have returned to my current spot, the scent could have faded. It was weak enough as it was.

So I pushed forward, following the scent as it led me further and further away from the house and my family. For ten minutes the trail led me north, until abruptly changing course and going off to the east.

All the while I tried to work out why she was here. In no means was it a coincidence. Victoria was here for only one reason, _us_. But _what_was she doing so close to the house, where it was easy to pick up her scent. Scoping the area? I couldn't catch a hint of anyone else, which meant she was working alone. If her intentions were to attack, coming alone to a house of seven vampires was a suicide mission.

Even so, the soldier in me was forming ways to protect the house. Moving wasn't an option, even without Bella's current condition. We would have to sit back and wait. Alice would see her coming, Edward would hear when she was close, and Emmett, Rosalie and I would take her down. Carlisle and Esme would stay to protect Bella.

In theory, Victoria wouldn't stand a chance. But I'd been in too many battles to ever underestimate my opponent. Victoria was smart, and there was a good chance she was aware of our abilities.

I focused back on the trail once again. How far would I go before stopping to go back and tell them what I'd found? In any other time, Alice would have picked up on my decision already, but she was so focused on Bella that it was hard for her to watch everything else.

I felt the same dull ache within me at the thought of Alice's suffering. If there had been a way to stop it, I would have taken that route already. But there was nothing. The worst part was I was certain she wouldn't find respite after the pregnancy came to a halt.

Should Bella die, Alice would lose the first real friend she could ever recall having. Should she become a vampire, Alice would have to watch every decision Bella's erratic, newborn mind would make. Her headache, I feared, would be worse then that it was now.

Thoughts of Alice had distracted me, and it took a minute to realise Victoria's scent had changed direction yet again.

It was now heading straight for the house.

In a matter of seconds I was running, pushing faster as the scent got stronger. She was here, _now_; Victoria was here, and this…it had been a decoy. How had I not realised before? I still didn't know what she was planning, but I didn't like it. A surprise attack was still suicide on her part, yet something in my mind told me to move faster, to protect Alice and the rest of my family.

I was in familiar surroundings when I heard it, my name.

"Jasper?"

It was Alice, she was outside.

"_Alice_? What did you s-"

The sound of tearing metal filled the air. _Screams_. _Pounding __feet_. Then even more of the metallic sounds, echoing through the trees.

Pain slammed into me like a bullet, my own, mixed with somebody else's, twisting and tearing through my chest, making me stumble forward mid-step.

"_Alice_!"

I ripped branches from my path as I tore into the clearing, only to be knocked back by flames rising into the air. Time came to a standstill, suspending around me as my gaze zeroed in on the source of the flames.

"_A-lice_…"

Everything was in motion once again, a blur, as I dove towards the flames. _Alice_. Seconds later someone slammed into me, then another, holding me back from the fire. I fought against them as her name left my lips like a mantra.

_Alice, __Alice, __Alice_.

I struggled to break free from the restraining arms, trying to get closer. _I __could __save __her_. _She __wasn__'__t __gone_. My Alice would never leave me…

_Alice_.

"Jasper, stop," a voice said to my right. _Carlisle_. "There's nothing you can do…Jasper, please…"

I tried to force him away. It was a lie. In a second, I would see her dance away from the flames, smiling because she was too quick for Victoria. Infallible, unbreakable, that was her; that was what she always promised every time I worried about her safety.

He was lying, he had to be lying.

Calling out to her again, I waited for her to summon me, just as she had earlier. _Please_.

"She's gone, Jasper, she's…gone." Carlisle's voice cracked as his words sliced through me like ice.

"_No_!" I growled out, this time managing to throw him off. I recognised Emmett's grip on my left, and moved quickly, using his weaknesses to push him away. The second I was free I threw myself towards the flames. But they were too thick, the smoke too dense, and all I could make out were dark masses in the middle, burning.

"_A-lice__…__A-lice_..."

Something in the flames caught my eye, silver among the orange. _A__bracelet_.

A pained gasp. "No! A-_lice_…don't…leave…me…"

Everything was trembling around me. My hands, my body, the ground I crouched upon…everything falling apart without her. My chest began to compress tighter and tighter as the truth started to bleed through me.

My Alice…was gone.

"_No_!" But this time it was a cry of pain, the denial broken and lost with the hope she'd returned to me. It was louder, echoing between the trees.

Through the flames I saw my family come to an abrupt halt at the opposite side of the clearing, shock, realisation and then despair, spreading across their faces as their emotions hit me all at once.

In the distance I could hear Bella, all alone back at the house, calling out for Edward, for Rosalie, for anyone.

Then to my left, I noticed someone else, standing back, watching, her red hair like fire, swaying in the breeze. She leered at me, her twisted smile turning malicious before she whipped around, sprinting into the forest. Before I could make a conscious decision, I'd snatched the bracelet from the flames and taken of like a bullet behind her.

The pain and misery was everywhere, agonisingly making my limbs heavier with the weight of it, dragging me down. But the further I ran, the distance between me and the burning pyre growing wider, the more I became aware of a new fire burning, one burning deep within me, spreading quickly, almost as if I'd taken a piece of it with me.

But this fire was revenge, and rage, and vengeance, pushing me forward to kill her, to exact my retribution.

In the deep recesses of my mind I was aware of someone following me. He didn't say anything, but I knew it was Emmett, the footfalls were too heavy to be anyone else. We were miles out from anything when I finally skidded to a halt and rounded on him.

"_Go __home_, Emmett."

He shook his head fiercely. "Let me help you catch that _bitch_. I'm not _needed_ back there-" he pointed in the direction of home…his home, "But I could help you. It'll be easier if there were two of us!"

"_No_." I stepped away, distancing myself from him, from the vapid sound that had suddenly replaced my voice. "She…_killed_…her…Emmett. She…_took_ my _wife_! Imagine if this…was Rosalie? What would you…do?"

For the briefest of seconds, his expression showed how much the thought tortured him before he sought to remove it. Even then I had to look away as what little oxygen I had in lungs was forced out. I was falling apart before him with every second I was still here.

"I'd want to be the one to tear her to piece," he said weakly, his grief and despair radiating towards me. His emotions, just another reason why he couldn't come with me. "What should I tell them?"

"Tell them you couldn't catch up with me," I replied, knowing the lie was transparent and weak. But it was the only way. "Don't let them come after me."

He nodded once, his emotions saying otherwise. "Are you coming back?"

I stared at him long and hard, my thoughts drifting to the bracelet clutched in my hand. I instinctively loosened my grip to make sure I didn't crush the delicate charms; they were physically all I had left now.

Emmett lowered his gaze as he realised there was no feasible answer to his question. I didn't want to lie to him, and the bitter truth was better left unspoken.

"Just remember you're place is with us, your family," he said in a firm voice, the last, tiny shred of hope he held onto. "That's never going to change."

He was wrong, but I didn't voice it. My place was with Alice, and it had been the moment I took her hand fifty-eight years ago. Without her, I had no place, just an objective. No, two objectives.

"Goodbye, Emmett."

With a final glance, I turned away and started back on the trail. Objective one, to capture and kill Victoria. Objective two, to find Alice, just as she'd found me, one last time.

I didn't look back as I ran, knowing it was unlikely I'd ever see him again.

* * *

**A/N: *hides* Some of you guessed correctly about Alice, some of you even expressed how much you hoped she _wasn__'__t_ dead. Trust me when I say I didn't enjoy writing that particular scene. My poor Jalice heart is breaking.**

**Did any of my readers get the Fandom Against Famine compilation? My outtake was included, so you'll have an idea about what is to come in this story. For those who haven't, I've decided _Collateral_ will now be posted in three parts.**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Chapter 15!**

**First, I want to apologise for the ridiculous wait. Initially I was struggling over a portion of this chapter, then it was Christmas, then I went on holiday, then college reopened…yeah, RL was busy. But, I finally finished the chapter! Though I'm afraid to say there's still another chapter from Jasper's POV before we're really back to Angela again. It would have been too long if I didn't split them up.**

**I suppose I should give a warning here…a character meets their demise. It's not as dark as I first planned it to be, but it isn't pretty, either. Sorry for the monster A/Ns, I fear the bottom one will be wordy, too.**

**Finally, just want to thank idealskeptic for everything she's done, and will do for this story. Jasper/Angela is such a rare pairing, but finding someone who shares a love for them as much as I do is truly amazing. On that note, have you read her Jasper/Angela stories? You should!**

**Disclaimer: I own my laptop and a battered writing pad, but not the characters I'm writing about.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Why Her?**

Jasper paused in his story to collect himself, or maybe just to give me the time to do the same. I could hardly believe what he'd told me. There should have been questions in my mind, telling me to look at the facts and wonder how I hadn't worked it out before.

But there was nothing. My mind was blank, numb, as if someone had frozen it in place, leaving only one thought.

_Alice was dead_.

There was a familiar ache in my chest as I thought about it. It had started out small, _dread_, the moment he'd told me of the vampire scent near the house. Somehow, I think I'd known what was coming, but even now I was in slight denial.

I'd barely known Alice; maybe shared a handful of words with her at the most, yet it felt as though I'd just lost a best friend.

I knew that was down to Jasper. It wasn't his voice, or the way he'd looked. No, his eyes had been emotionless, his voice robotic, as though he was just speaking, retelling someone else's story. But there was one thing he was unable to control, and I couldn't even explain what it was.

Something had emanated from him, getting stronger as he went on. It got worse after I found out what happened to Alice, and the raw emotions hadn't dispersed since then. I wanted to apologise and tell him how sorry I was to hear how much he'd lost.

But what was an apology like that even worth? Right now, I was certain it would mean very little at all. If I was reading the signs correctly, it seemed he didn't want to me say anything, anyway. The time for me to talk would come later.

I used the silence to think about everything he'd said. Bella was dying – _had_ been dying from her accelerated pregnancy; I wasn't to know whether she even survived, and what of the child? Did they survive the pregnancy? Was Bella a _vampire_ now?

My thoughts soon drifted away from Bella to Alice. This Victoria…whoever she was, had been too far away from the house for any of them to know she was there. It was the same for Alice; they were too far away when Victoria attacked…it was too late by the time Jasper got there.

"_I wasn't fast enough."_

A lump formed in my throat as his words echoed through me. Jasper hadn't been able to prevent the waver in his voice; it was the only time he really let me see something which matched what I could feel rolling off him, and I knew it was going to be a long time before I forgot those four words.

Trying not to think about it, I wiped at the wetness on my cheeks. Somehow, I knew I would be crying again very soon, but for now I had to regain some composure. Seeing me crying wasn't going to help him carry on.

In the end, it took Jasper nearly twenty minutes to start talking again. "It's been two years; I haven't seen any of them since."

When I looked at him, I noticed something in his posture had changed. He'd been tense, almost rigid in his seat. But now…it was as though his resolve was slipping. His body was sagging from an invisible weight. Given the subject, I couldn't help but wonder if he missed them, his family. Two years might not have been much compared to the decades he'd spent with them, but two years was a long time to be completely alone.

"Tracking wasn't something I excelled at, and with her, it was as though she knew my every move," he went on bitterly. "Only later did I find out it was more than luck. Maria, an old friend from the south, who heard what happened, knew of Victoria. She told me Victoria had a special ability."

_Special ability_?

"Victoria had the ability to evade her enemy when put in danger," he said, choosing his words carefully. "The stronger her enemy felt, the more effective her ability became."

I didn't know what to make of the ability, or what it even meant. But Jasper tracked her for nearly two years, which proved the theory about her ability was true.

So how did he finally catch her?

"I wanted to continue alone, but Maria wouldn't let me. She wanted to help." His expression darkened and he half turned to look at me. I was unable to hold back a shudder as I saw the twisted glint which burned in his eyes.

"It paid off in the end. She didn't stand a chance."

* * *

**Jasper POV**

_August 2008_

"This isn't going to work," I said curtly, distancing myself from Maria. I didn't want her help; I wasn't even sure why I was here. I knew her territory well; that hadn't changed much in the years since I left, which meant I hadn't been oblivious to the fact I'd run into her.

She followed me. "You're forgetting how many battles I've won from my strategies alone, Mi Mayor."

I ignored the use of my old title and kept moving. Even after all this time, being stationary still felt as though I was falling apart at the seams. Moving, pushing forward, it was the only thing keeping me going, that, and my thirst for revenge.

"I've tracked her for nearly two years. What makes you think adding more people into the equation will even put me at an advantage?"

"Because she knew you were tracking her." Maria's persistence pressed into me; that, too, hadn't changed, either. "We know she is in the area, so we task my newborns to find her, but we don't tell them who they are after."

I laughed once, hollow and humourless. "You underestimate her."

"No, I have confidence that her ability will tell her exactly what we want it to."

"So now you're banking this on her growing complacent?" With a sharp shake of my head, I contemplated sprinting from the area. Maria wouldn't follow me, not if I kept going. Victoria's scent was everywhere, in everything I touched. I couldn't lose it, and the fact Maria wanted me to stop tracking her to set this plan into motion…

"This isn't going to _work_!"

"Not if you don't focus on something other than how much you want to kill her," she shot back, keeping her tone in check. Within seconds of Maria finishing, I'd rounded on her, towering by at least a foot.

"Look at me!" I snarled, my clenched hands trembling. "How do you expect me to do that when it's all I have_ left_?"

She stared at me, calm and impassive. "You will find a way if you want to end this."

* * *

I was retracing a familiar path, weaving between the trees in the desolate area. I hadn't been here in nearly seventy years, but it hadn't changed. They hadn't tried to build over it, or to cut down the trees, and for an instant I was grateful.

It had once been my one place to escape; a place I went to find the will to continue under the reign of Maria. No newborn dared to venture out so far, and Maria knew not to come looking for me. It was amongst those trees where I'd planned how to kill Maria, my only ally at the time. It also happened to be the place Peter found me when he returned, telling me of his new lifestyle with Charlotte.

Deep down, I couldn't help but wish Peter would turn up and show me the right path to take. Right now, I needed it more than ever.

_You will find a way if you want to end this_.

Maria's words hadn't left me since she'd spoken them four hours ago. She'd given me until nightfall to leave Victoria alone; I'd given her until dawn before I resumed my hunt. I didn't have faith in Maria or her newborns; it was just another thing I'd lost along with Alice. I didn't have faith, and I didn't have hope…there was nothing left for me to hold onto, nothing for me to revert to when I had to push away the bitterness and misery, and desire to carry out my retribution.

The twisted thing was Alice was the only thing I had to hold onto. She was the only thing I could focus on, and she'd been taken away from me.

Settling myself against a tree, I dipped my hand into my pocket and retrieved Alice's bracelet. It was a dainty little thing, barely even encircling four fingers. Alice had seen it during the two years we spent together before meeting the Cullens. At the time, we hadn't the money to buy it. It was maybe a year later that I went back for it. She'd accompanied me, her ability telling her exactly what I had planned. Even then, she still pretended to be surprised.

It was one of the reasons I loved her so much. She didn't let her visions ruin a thing…apart from Bella's pregnancy.

_No! _Think of something else.

I closed my eyes tight, forcing my mind to revert to a time before Bella, before being part of a family meant anything to me. Back to when it was just the two of us, and she'd filled me with a newfound hope.

**/\/\/\**

"_Jasper, you don't have to go," Alice said, watching from her point perched on the rock. I glanced at her, knowing I'd finally been caught out. We'd been together for just over two weeks, and the first time she'd told me of her plans to hunt, I'd managed to slip away._

_Looking back, I think she'd let me._

_After years of hunting alone, it was hard to adapt to having a partner. I'd yet to hunt since she found me, and though my thirst was getting unbearable, the black was better than blood red. Although it went against our natural instincts to hunt anything other than humans, the thought of her innocent, golden eye looking into my red ones made me feel ashamed of myself. She was so pure and virtuous…she didn't deserve to be tainted by the monster I had been...the monster I probably still was._

_In an instant, she'd flitted to my side. "I never want you to leave me again," she said simply, slipping our hands together, restoring the hope she'd filled me with the first time her fingers had tangled with mine._

**/\/\/\**

_The moonlight didn't affect us the way sunlight did. Yet with the faint light shining down on Alice, she looked almost ethereal in the darkened glow._

_Once again, I was reminded how beautiful she was. _

_I didn't often say it, though, because the word seemed too generic and hardly captured the true essence of what I saw. Despite that, her beauty wasn't just physical. It was in the way she moved and smiled, and I felt it in her emotions every time she looked at me when she thought I wasn't aware._

_We'd been together for six weeks and two days, and in those forty-four days, she'd taught me more than Maria had in six decades. She taught me how to feel hope – to hold onto it – and not despise my very existence. She taught me there was another way of living, and that, one day, we'd be the happiest we possibly could._

_Most of all, she'd taught me how to love._

_In my eight-five years of immortality, love wasn't something I'd come across very often. Peter and Charlotte had been the exception, but even their love wasn't like this. Theirs, though strong, felt different._

_With Alice, I couldn__'__t even explain it. For a vampire, for _me_, explanation was imperative. There was a reason for everything, but this…there was no way to rationalise it. For once, I wasn__'__t in control, and though the bare truth should have forced me to run from the anomaly, I found myself welcoming it._

_That was Alice's doing, naturally._

_As I took in her closed eyes and serene expression, I knew why. I never wanted to part with her. If anything, I wanted to be closer. Always closer – and that was the issue. With Maria, things like sex and physical contact had been a given. It was there for the taking whenever I'd wanted it, and I had, many times before._

_But Alice deserved so much more than that. The mere thought of treating Alice the way I had Maria on occasion repulsed me. She deserved to be treated properly, just as a lady should. Just as, I suppose, my mama would have brought me up to believe._

_Looking back at her, I fought the urge to edge closer as I worked up the courage to ask those four words I__'__d had on my mind for the past three days. _Nervousness_–__ that was another new sensation. That one, of course, wasn__'__t as welcomed. I swallowed past it, focusing on her expression._

"_May I kiss you, Miss Alice?"_

_She didn't move as the question hung in the air between us. The only perceivable reaction was that of the spike in her emotions, and even then it had been fleeting. I didn't have to wait long, though. _

"_Yes," she said gently, keeping her eyes closed. "Yes, you may."_

_The corner of her mouth twitched into an endearing smile, almost as though she'd been waiting for me to ask this whole time._

_As I leaned closer, I realised she most probably had._

**/\/\/\**

_The motel room wasn't anything special. It was basic, plain, with off-white walls and second hand furniture. The bed was simple, but the sheets were the cleanest they could be, and that was all that mattered. I wanted it to be special for Alice, and as proper as I could possibly make it. She deserved a real bed, not my shirt laid out on the ground._

_She couldn't remember anything previous to her transformation, and I was the first thing she saw as she opened her eyes, even if only through a vision. It was always going to be me, in every aspect._

_I glanced down at my clothing, attempting to straighten the crinkled shirt. I wanted to be presentable for her, as strange as the concept felt. It wasn't uncommon since meeting Alice, though. I always wanted to try harder, to look more respectable, and be a better man for her. I wanted to be a man worthy of her love. Not that she saw it that way, of course. I was already worthy in her eyes._

"_Stop it, Jasper."_

_Her amused voice travelled through from outside, only loud enough for my enhanced hearing to pick up. I glanced towards the door, smiling as I let my hands drop to my sides. She was waiting for me. I was only here because I wanted to make sure the room was satisfactory…now all I had to do was let her in._

_Alice smiled when I appeared in the doorway. She tilted her head to the side, greeting me. "Can I come in now?"_

_I did a quick sweep of the area, making sure we were completely alone before racing to her side and deftly lifting her into my arms. She giggled as I carried her over the threshold, only placing her back on her feet when the door was closed behind us._

"_My apologies for the room, ma'am," I said, watching as she took in every detail. "It's the best I could find."_

_Her eyes landed on mine, her anticipation evident. "It's perfect."_

_No other words were necessary as she wound her arms around my neck, her hands tangling together. I ducked down to meet her, pressing our lips together. I lost myself in the embrace, letting her love and passion envelope me in a warmth like no other._

_Minutes passed and I gradually moved my hands away from their place at her hips, feeling the soft fabric of her navy blue day dress as I moved higher. My fingers outlined her tiny frame with feather light touches, hinting at a fragility I knew not to be there. Following the path of her spine, I yearned to trace them along her bare skin, learning things about her that nobody else would._

_Finding the zip, I slowly lowered it._

_I scrunched my eyes shut tight, trying to force away the burn. It wasn't physical, oh no, that burn had gone all right. Yet I could still feel it in my eyes and in my veins as the fresh human blood flowed through my frozen body. The burn was uncomfortable, but the monster inside was revelling in it, sneering in the darkest parts of me, taunting, proving I'd never quite be rid of its existence._

_Alice sidled closer, trying to get me to open my eyes. I couldn't. She'd seen enough in her vision alone; she didn't need to see the real thing. She'd been so excited only an hour before. We'd arrived in Chinook, Montana, and we were going to meet them…the elusive Cullens. We were within reaching distance, finally._

_All it took was one slip of control for every single plan we had to come crashing back down at our feet. I'd felt it…seconds before her vision hit; Alice hadn't been able to do anything to stop me. He was dead before she could pull herself back to the present._

_The shame of my actions had caused me to run…to run from the one thing that could pull me away from the brink of devastation. She'd followed me, of course; she always would._

_I'd felt it the moment she knelt in front of me. She wasn't disappointed in me or angry, she never was…but right now, I wanted her to be. Because of my actions, we couldn't approach the vampire family she was so excited to meet and be a part of. The death was too close to them; they'd notice the signs, and Alice's vision soon after had proved me correct. They were moving away, leaving the state instead of risk being exposed._

_Even if we caught up with them, they__'__d know it was me. They__'__d be able to see it, to _smell_ it on me. How could we expect them to let a monster into their family? Why would they? I was the reason they had to leave in the first place._

"_Jazz, please…"_

_I wanted to pull away, to refuse her embrace. But I couldn't…I didn't deserve it, but I couldn't bring myself to reject her, either. It would hurt her to do so, and that was one thing I vowed never to do._

"_This isn't your fault," she said gently, placing her hands either side of my face. Her strong grip prevented me from turning my head away._

"_How can you say that?" I asked bitterly._

"_Because it _isn't_," she replied, her voice firm. "In all my visions of them, I__'__ve seen us meeting in Winton, Minnesota, but when I realised they were here, I thought I could bring it forward by at least a month. I took the risk when I shouldn__'__t have done."_

A month_. We__'__d have to wait another month for them to settle before we could even think about going to scope out the area._

"_What if something goes wrong?" I asked, quieter now. "What if _I_ do something wrong, and we have to wait even longer than before?"_

"_You won't." She closed the gap between us and pressed a gentle kiss to each of my eyelids. "I know you can do this, I have faith in that. You have the determination to do anything you want if you put your mind to it. If only you could see that the way I do."_

"_You have so much faith in me," I said, finally opening my eyes to meet hers. Where her emotions should have plummeted at the sight of the eyes of a murderer, to the darkened depths of disgust and revulsion, I felt them lifting, rising high enough for them to soothe even my rampant emotions._

_The smile which accompanied them was truly breathtaking. "Yes, and that's because I love-"_

"Sir."

My eyes snapped open, and in an instant, the nervous vampire before me was pinned to the ground, my grip near enough crushing his throat. I tightened my grip, growling as his panic projected onto me. He didn't struggle like I expected him to; he merely stared, his eyes wide with fear.

In the back of my mind, I was acutely aware it was night time.

"I see that still hasn't changed." My head shot up in the direction of the voice. _Maria_. "You never did like people sneaking up on you."

Her gaze flickered to the vampire still in my death grip. "Rather him than me."

Incensed more that he'd broken me from my memories of Alice, I yanked him to his feet and forced him forward so I could approach Maria who was a few yards away. Though I knew he wasn't going to attack me, and wouldn't survive if he did, I still didn't want him anywhere behind me. Even with my ability, he'd still have an element of surprise.

All the same, my fighting instincts were unnecessary. The boy trembled, edging just out of arms reach. _Stupid boy, as if that would save you_.

"Leave," Maria directed him, watching until he was out of range before turning back to me.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. Now it was just the two of us, I could focus on the subject at hand. It was dark, which meant I'd been…_gone _for hours. But why was she here? What did she have to say? Had she let Victoria slip from both our grasps?

"Why do you think?" When I didn't respond, too tired to play her stupid games, she had no choice but to continue. "Our plan worked. More or less."

I tested the air around us, analysing them. "You caught her?" I asked, though surprised, my voice showed no noticeable change. The corners of her lips curled into a twisted smile. She didn't respond verbally, choosing to glance towards the east. I followed her line of sight, seeing what she was seeing.

In the distance, there was a faint column of smoke rising into the night sky.

I snarled, advancing. "You _killed _her?"

"_Easy_," she shot back, a restraining hand against my chest. "I had to make sure she couldn't get away. That _puta_ won't be going anywhere without her legs."

I looked towards the smoke once again, feeling the fire within me growing a little stronger at the thought of her already feeling pain. There would be more of that, as the night progressed. I would make sure of it.

"Who's watching her?" I finally asked.

"Marco."

I nodded once, mentally putting a name to the face. When I first wandered into Maria's territory, he'd been at her side, scrutinising my every move. His behaviour and emotions around Maria and towards me were key to working out he was her second in command, just as I'd been many decades before. Regardless of his position, I didn't trust him to watch over Victoria for longer than necessary.

Now was my time to move; now was my time to do exactly what I'd been planning for nearly two years.

I started without another word, needing to do this, but also knowing when it was over…there was nothing left for me.

"Jasper." I turned as she stepped towards me. While short-lived, there was a moment I felt her emotions soften into sympathy.

"I'm sorry," she said simply. To anyone else, the words wouldn't have been enough, and maybe they still weren't, but coming from her, there was an undeniable strength behind them.

There was nothing more to say as I held her gaze. Though she never confirmed it, I always suspected the loss of a mate was the root of why she persevered in this life, with the newborn armies, and constant battle for territory.

I could see it in her eyes, now; an understanding, of sorts.

"Come on," she said, breaking the moment and passing me by. "I'll show you the way."

Though I didn't need her to guide me, I followed without a word. It wasn't far, and following Victoria's scent was too easy now that it seemed even stronger. I knew that was down to the parts of her already burning in the fire. It was strong, and filled my senses like a cloying, sickening odour.

Marco wasn't alone when we arrived; there were three other newborns watching her, too. But I paid no heed to them as my eyes zeroed in on the flame-haired Victoria. She was crouched on the floor in front of a tree, her legs mere stumps from the knee down.

She wasn't screaming, or crying out in pain. She was staring at me, her head tilted, her gaze unwavering. I stared back. Even Maria disappeared beside me as everything turned to darkness. All I could see was Victoria…the woman who'd killed my wife. The anger and the burn for revenge returned in full force.

I had to clench my hands to stop from charging forward and killing her in seconds. That wouldn't do at all. She was going to suffer before I gave her the respite only death could offer her now.

Somehow, I found my voice amidst my raging emotions. "_Leave us_."

The four vampires looked to Maria for authorisation. When she nodded, they left together, quickly disappearing out of view. Soon, it was only the three of us. But still there were too many…I didn't want an audience. Maria had to go, and she knew that when I turned to her.

Like many times before, she didn't let her feelings show on her face as she stared me down. This was goodbye for us, and we both knew it. I wasn't coming back, not after this. In the end, she merely inclined her head, a flicker of regret in her eyes as she turned her back on me and walked away.+

I watched her leave, only pulling back when she was out of sight. Now Victoria and I were alone, there was only one thing left to do. I felt her eyes following me as I paced towards the fire, watching the burning masses for a moment or two before revolving to face her.

She didn't move, nor did she say a word as I fixed my intent gaze onto hers. Her position was exactly the same as before, and I studied it, feeling her pain as she tried to control it. She looked defenceless, defeated, though her expression did not show it.

It was hard to comprehend how long I'd tracked her, now that I'd finally caught her. At one point, I'd contemplated returning to my old ways, to get my fill of human blood so I was the strongest I possibly could be. But when I got near, I pulled back, feeling disgusted. I stopped after the first attempt. Alice wouldn't have wanted me to do it, not in her name.

Looking at Victoria, I knew even she wasn't worth tainting Alice's memory with the blood of innocents, no matter how strongly I felt about getting my revenge. I'd found a way of capturing her without going down that sinister road. Briefly, I thought over Maria's involvement, and I was silently glad I'd run into her. Had I been tracking Victoria alone much longer, I wasn't sure how long I would have lasted.

The constant movement, tracking and near misses had steadily taken its toll on me. I tried to force it away and ignore the changes, but being alone, it was all I could think about. My thoughts were darker and erratic, almost like that of a newborn, and there were days I wished it was over with.

But then I'd remember Alice, and any urge to die was pushed back.

As I finally moved closer, crouching down in front of my prey, I realised I wasn't the only one to be affected. Her eyes were black, the shadows underneath them almost purple. She was thirsty, painfully so, yet that wasn't what struck me. It was the glint which darkened her eyes even more.

It was maniacal and frenzied, yet there was an odd, inappropriate sort of calmness, right at the centre, just as though she knew what was going on. Just as though she was waiting for it.

It wasn't hard to match the corresponding emotions. Their erratic behaviour equalled even mine, and I knew she was fighting a battle. One with the pain, physical and emotional, the other with her own thoughts. I didn't need Edward's ability to know they were just as bad.

Finally, I snapped out of my evaluation, pleased enough to witness how deeply my pursuit had affected her. My pleasure was dark and twisted, and I knew it would only grow stronger as the night wore on. I could even feel it increasing now, as I rocked back onto my heels and inhaled deeply.

Seconds later, I broke the silence. "Can you smell that?"

_Wrath. Fury. Rage. Pain_.

I chuckled darkly, latching onto those feelings and forcing it back, using only the purest form until her body trembled with it.

But still, she did not make a sound.

In a flash I was on my feet; she only had time to look up before I fisted my hand in her hair and forced her down onto her front. She hissed like a rabid cat as my foot came down on her back, the spine cracking as my other hand reached for her right arm.

This time, it worked.

I grunted as I twisted the arm from her body. Her cries of agony and rage surrounded me as I dragged her towards the fire. I made sure she was watching before I tossed her arm into the flames. I let the heat reach me for a moment or two before grabbing her by the hair once again, snarling as she tried to swipe at me. There was no power behind it, and I dodged her easily.

But even at full strength, she wouldn't have been a match for me.

Though unsurprised, her attempts to fight back incensed me, so I tightened my grip and threw her into her original seat as though discarding a piece of trash.

As I moved, I thought of my initial plans to prolong her pain. At first, I'd intended to tear her apart piece by piece, making her watch each part burn before finally killing her. But there was only so much I could do without using my teeth.

I hadn't thought of it whilst tracking her, not wanting to lose myself in the prospect of what was to come. Yet now, all it took was one look at her to know my teeth weren't going anywhere near her. The thought alone repulsed me.

For now, I would have to make do with what I had.

She cursed me as I turned my ability on her for the second time. Her childlike voice was strained as she continued to shout, sometimes using a language I didn't recognise. I watched her, my lack of response angering her even more as she tried to hold herself up on her one remaining, trembling limb.

Reaching into the deepest parts of me, I contained every single feeling from the last two years and emanated it, filling every last fibre until it rendered her speechless. Only then did I approach her, bringing the back of my hand down across her face.

The brunt of it sent her face down into the dirt. At first she didn't move, but when she finally lifted herself from the ground, her gaze didn't falter as she turned her eyes to me. Within them was a sudden acceptance of defeat; she knew what was going to happen...it wouldn't be long now.

My emotions must have told her that. If anything, though, it only made her seem more deadly.

There was a long pause of silence before suddenly the urge to cause more pain was marginally surpassed by the one for answers. More precisely, just _one_ answer. There was only one thing I needed to know.

"Why her?" I demanded. "_Why did you kill her_?"

For a split second, she looked almost surprised I hadn't already worked it out. "I wanted that…human _pet_. I wanted to do to _Edward_ what he did to me," she sneered, spitting venom with every breath. "But then I saw a better option…she was all alone, an easy target."

I growled, fighting the urge to rip her throat out. "But _why her_?" I repeated.

"She was his _singer_-" she snarled the word "-your little princess was my James' singer. He _obsessed_ over her when he should have been paying attention to _me_…and when she got away, he never let it go."

For a moment, I felt something all too familiar emanate from her. "She was one of the reasons he went to his death."

An undeniable fury stormed through me and I realised the truth behind her attack._ Jealously_. She'd killed my love because of jealously. _Alice had done nothing wrong_. She hadn't known of her connection to James until the night he attacked Bella, yet she'd died because of it.

Fighting the broken sob that wanted to build, I pushed the thoughts away and knelt down so we were eye level. I waited until her wild gaze met mine before speaking, knowing my words would cause more damage than my hands already had.

"Edward didn't kill your precious James." I leant closer, our faces only inches apart. "_I _did. I pulled him apart and watched him _burn_."

She screamed, high and full of rage as she swiped at me, her nails connecting with my jaw for a second or two before I, too, let out a guttural snarl and slammed her against the tree.

"How _dare_ you touch me!" I hollered, hearing the fractures as my hand compressed against her throat. She let out a strangled cry as my free hand reached for her shoulder, my fingers digging in and wrenching it from the socket. Her pain intensified as I let her fall to the ground, making sure she could see me as I threw her final limb into the fire. Her growing agony mixed with the wrath in her eyes as she watched the fire swell.

I absorbed everything she felt, tripling it as I forced it onto her one final time. My body was trembling, threatening to pull apart. Neither would last much longer, but she was going first. Her suffering would find it's conclusion before mine, but only just.

Stalking towards her, I fought to gain some control in my voice as I asked, "Do you have any final words?"

Her head lolled as she looked up at me through half-lidded eyes. The extent of my torture was everywhere, engrained within every line on her face.

After a moment, she let out a piercing cackle, her lip curling into an ugly sneer. "Bitch got what she deserved."

I saw red at her words reached me. The ground shuddered beneath my feet as I let out a deafening roar, raising my fist. The sneer froze in place as I slammed my hand down, the thunderous crack echoing around me as her skull shattered beneath my palm.

* * *

**A/N: What d'ya think? Hope you liked it! Who wants a teaser to the next chapter? I'll send them out in review replies, so you know what you have to do. I'd love to reach 200 reviews with this chapter, js.**

_**Mi Mayor – My Major**_

_**Puta – 'bitch'**_

_**Thank you to vegetarianvamps for helping me with the Spanish!**_

**A few of you have queried why Victoria was able to kill Alice without the others realising she was there. There are a few reasons. First, the three of them (Jasper, Alice and Victoria) were out of range of Edward's ability, meaning he couldn't tell Victoria was there. Alice's visions were crowded with Bella, but she had a vision of Jasper following a scent, which was why she ventured out into the forest. Edward saw her vision, and eventually sent Emmett and Carlisle out to follow her, which is why they were able to reach Jasper quicker than the others.**

**Some asked why Alice didn't have a vision of Victoria attacking her. The truth is Alice didn't know she was there. In her vision, all she saw was Jasper following _a_ scent. Victoria's decision to attack Alice was split second; while I'm sure Alice saw what was coming right at the end, she wasn't quick enough to pull back from the vision to react.**

**I daresay some of you will still find fault with it, but that's how I imagine the scene would play out. One final thing, Angela is still unaware of Jasper's, Alice's and Edward's abilities. As we're seeing it through Jasper's eyes, the scenes are far more detailed than the one Jasper accounted.**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: Chapter 16!**

**Like last time, I'm really sorry for the wait. Jasper's POV is so much harder to write (and longer) than I originally thought it would be. I actually had to split this chapter _again_ because it got so wordy. This is the end of the main reveal, though. So I hope it doesn't disappoint…**

**When I was going over Jasper's timeline, I realised I made a bit of a mistake with the dates. I changed the months in the last two chapters to fit. This chapter starts at the end of August, he spends just over a month alone, and it ends halfway through October.**

**Once again, thank you to idealskeptic for pre-reading and picking up on my errors. I know I must drive her insane with how long it takes me to write, but I love her. Are you ready her Angela/Jasper story _Tread Softly_? She even wrote Peter/Charlotte lovin'…I already said I loved her, right? That girl knows what I like to read *grins***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jasper or any of the other Twilight characters mentioned in this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Contingency**

**Jasper POV**

The fire burned for two days straight.

I stood and watched, knowing as the flames gradually died down, my reason to…_exist_ died with it. Alice had always been my reason. When she was taken away, revenge replaced it. Revenge held me together, barely. But now, the revenge was gone…there really was nothing left.

Once I'd scattered the ashes into the ground, I wandered away, my eyes blind to direction, my feet leading me into the unknown.

I was among the trees when my legs finally gave way. Animals scattered as I fell to my knees, the barrier within me breaking and sending out wave after wave of pure, agonizing emotions.

The hole Alice left was gaping and never ending, but the space where revenge once sat seemed to be growing at a speed which rivalled it. I could feel what was replacing it, tearing through me and filling me to the brim. There was nothing standing in its way…the unadulterated agony was everywhere.

I wanted it to tear me apart, to do to me what I did to Victoria. _Please…please end this pain_.

When nothing happened, I closed my eyes.

* * *

_Darkness_.

It was everywhere. Suffocating and endless. With it came solitude and isolation, leaving me here alone, a broken man. The memories that found me did not bring peace like they had done before. They plagued me, leaving a bitter and terrible taste in the back of my throat.

_What now_? I asked. _What path do I take_?

I had nothing but the memories. The vividness of them hurt. I could still see her face and hear her voice. The only thing missing was her touch and the warmth of her fingertips as she explored my body.

There was only one way I could get that back.

I fought the oncoming demons, struggling to breathe as I allowed myself to think of a long ago promise I'd made. My first objective was complete, now all I had to do was return to her. _My love_. She would wait for me, now that I'd made up my mind.

The question was _how_. I couldn't return to Maria; she would never do it…and after the way we ended things, I didn't want to force this on her. So what options did I have? Did I find a stray nomad and provoke-

_Provoke_.

It was a clear moment. The memory was so precise, it was a wonder I hadn't thought of it before. It was an evening back in Forks, when Bella was revisiting Carlisle's history. After James' failed attack, Edward admitted he wouldn't have outlived her for long. He planned to go to Volterra, to provoke the vampire royalty. The whole house heard their conversation.

At the time, I hadn't even entertained the idea.

Now I could…now I _had_ to. But I needed to plan. Edward said you couldn't wander in; that wasn't how it worked. The easiest way was to provoke them. Death would be instant, guaranteed, if you did it right under the noses.

From there, I was transported to a much older memory. It was during one of Peter and Charlotte's visits. Emmett and I had disappeared into the forest to show Peter our hunting ground. The conversation had soon travelled to our shared past, and news of a nomad Peter had come across, who had been summoned by the Volturi.

"_So who are these Volturi, anyway?" Emmett asked. "Like the mafia of the vampire world?"_

"_You could say that." Peter glanced between us. "My knowledge of them isn't vast, but what I do know is you don't get an audience with the Volturi unless they're real interested in what you got goin' on."_

"_So this nomad…"_

His voice had trailed away but we'd both known what Emmett was getting at. If the Volturi had summoned him, he must have broken the rules. If he broke the rules, he'd serve his sentence.

Death.

Once I pooled my knowledge, I formulated a plan. I had to go to Italy and find out how to get in and present myself to them. I knew enough about the Volturi to know it was possible, somehow. After learning Carlisle had been a part of the coven I'd been taught to fear from the first moment I opened my eyes to this world, I'd asked him to share his knowledge of them. If there was one thing that stuck with me, it was the importance of knowing your enemy.

He said they were almost civilised in certain areas of their _arrangement_. At the time, it only proved to make me more wary of them. Now, though, I had to trust that Carlisle was right.

But if there was no clear way in, I had to do something to get their attention. I didn't relish the thought of going down fighting; I'd spent too many decades of my life in carnage…death and battles followed me wherever I went.

If there was a way to do this quietly, I would take it. But if there was no other way, I didn't have an option…I would have to fight.

I would have to fight, knowing it was a battle I had to lose.

* * *

J. Jenks gulped as I strode through his office door. I used his anxiety as fuel, not wanting to look inside myself for that emotion. To do that would bring something far worse. Even I wasn't callous enough to use it on another person.

"W-what can I do for you, sir?"

I stopped before him, not lingering on particulars. "One passport and a single plane ticket to Italy that departs as soon as possible."

"Another passport?" Jenks asked uncertainly. My lips curled threateningly; he always had to question me, even through the fear I forced on him. He was stammering again when he spoke. "What details w-would you like?"

I considered his question for a moment. Even if I had my passport with me, I would still require a new one so it couldn't be traced. The one I left behind belonged to Jasper Hale. I wasn't that person anymore. I was Whitlock now; the sinister version of myself, the one who had no path and no light to lead him.

"The name will be Jasper Whitlock." _Yes, that's right_, the monster within me sneered. "I don't care about the rest."

Jenks nodded and wrote down the information. I didn't care to look at the details he'd chosen for me.

"When will you return from Italy?"

I stared at him, unwavering. "I'm not coming back."

His head snapped up and he blinked twice, processing the information. For a second or two, it was as though he knew the true meaning behind my words. While I knew he didn't, there were people who could.

"If anyone comes here, asking about me," I began, dosing him with anxiety. "You must not tell them what I've asked you to do here."

Jenks agreed readily, but I knew I was merely following protocol at this point. If my family ever thought to come here, they'd have no trouble in getting him to talk. Edward would pick it straight from his mind, and Emmett and Rosalie could be just as terrifying in their own ways. Even Esme would break him if she knew it would lead to me.

He visibly hesitated. "What if it's Alice?"

The mention of her name fractured my control, releasing the monster and an undulation of pure and terrifying emotions. There was a loud crack as I slammed my hand against his desk, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck.

"You mention her name again, and it'll be the _last_ thing you ever do," I snarled, my body shaking as I wrestled against the urge to tighten my grip.

The smell of urine filled the air. I curled my nose, revolted, as I pushed him into his seat. Pulling the bundles of money from my pocket, I threw them onto the broken desk and turned, ignoring the whimper coming from the man's throat. I didn't need to verbalise my demand to know he would have what I needed in a matter of days.

I would reach my final destination in a week.

* * *

Volterra had the strongest stench of death and bloodthirsty vampires I'd ever encountered. Even the newborn camps of my past couldn't rival it. The tang in the air turned my stomach, but even through my repulsion, I couldn't ignore the twisted irony of it all.

I was going out the way I'd come in.

It wasn't hard to find the source. The trail led me right up to an open, deserted square. In the middle was a large water fountain, shadowed by the clock tower standing directly in front of it. The doors below were undoubtedly an entrance, but the openness of the area surrounding it told me this was a decoy…no vampires used it unless absolutely necessary.

Carlisle had told me of the number of outlets in and around the Volturi lair; he hadn't lingered on their whereabouts, but some were inaccessible unless you knew where to look, while others were completely underground. The Volturi were as much below the city as they were above.

If I was going to get inside, it had to be an underground passage. Those would be the ones that lead straight to them. The decoy entrances would make me susceptible to being captured and executed for breaking into their _home_.

But then, that was exactly what I wanted.

I was still planning my next move when I felt it. A foreign emotion. My advantage here in this quiet place was that, when no one else was around, it was easy to pick off someone new, and even easier to work out which direction they were coming from. What I was picking up was too precise to be more than one person.

Whoever this vampire was, they were approaching me from behind. I turned the moment I heard them. Even without my ability, there was no way I wouldn't be aware of their presence.

When I saw who had approached me, it was his eyes I noticed first. Even for a blood drinker, they were redder than I would have expected. They almost resembled that of a newborn. The smell of blood was fresh, which meant he'd just come back from a hunt. If he was hunting outside the walls, it meant he was one of the more active guards.

After surveying the rest of him, I knew exactly who he was. Demetri; their renowned tracker. His tracking ability was lethal and he knew it; what I felt from him was proof to that. His arrogance was grating.

In the darkness, I could feel his gaze doing the same to me. I hadn't hunted since leaving the States, which meant my eyes were unquestionably pitch black; there was nothing to link me to my different lifestyle. I didn't want them to find out which coven I came from until Aro extracted it from my mind.

He was the one to break the silence. "Looking for another fight, _soldier_?"

My hands clenched involuntarily as he glanced at my scars. His assessment, like everyone else's, was spot on. He was the first to use it as an insult. _Don't react_. I could feel his aggression forming. If I responded with hostility, he would attack. Though that was my one objective, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

When I didn't give a response of any kind, he grew impatient. "Why are you here?" he demanded. A question I could answer.

"I want an audience with your leader," I told him. Direct and to the point, it was the only way to be with people like him.

"Are you looking to _join_ us?" he asked, appraising me with narrowed eyes. My expression was the only answer he needed. He smiled tightly, the words coming out with a sneer. "So you want to die."

I didn't give him the benefit of my confirmation, too preoccupied in working out how he'd jumped to that conclusion when I'd made it clear I never wanted to join them. I couldn't believe they were the only two reasons people came here.

A dark chuckle escaped him as he stared at my scars. "You should have let one of them finish you off, instead."

The mixture of his amusement, belligerence and self-righteousness I was getting from him nearly pushed me over the edge. In my mind, I could see the attack. He'd move to defend himself, but I'd still have the element of surprise. He may have had centuries behind him, but my experience in battle still exceeded his. I had no doubt in that.

But that wasn't what I wanted. To kill him would mean a battle. To kill him _here_ would mean bringing his body with me. The sun would be up soon, and with no means of starting a fire, his decapitated body would be there for everyone to see.

_No, I want to do this the quiet way_. If I could. Instead, I choose to influence his emotions with a combination of fear, intimidation and coercion, using just enough for him to feel it and not suspect there was something amiss straight away.

"Take me to them," I commanded, stern voiced and persistent in making him feel what I wanted him to. There was a sudden conflict in his eyes, and I felt his confusion as he took a step backwards. He stared at me and I stared back until his confusion morphed into comprehension and recollection flicked in his eyes.

"Follow me."

His dark cloak billowed behind him as moved at vampire speed, sticking to the shadows. I followed as he led me through the dark streets. The entrance he led me to, was nothing more than a metal hatch in the ground. It was too heavy for even a large group of humans to lift, but it made no difference for a vampire.

Demetri signalled for me for to go first. Not even a second after I'd jumped down, I heard him replace the hatch and land beside me. Soon enough he had taken the lead and was making his way down the dark passageway.

I maintained constant vigilance as the scents got stronger and the passage widened into a well lit corridor. I could hear them now, other vampires. Some on the floors above us and another in the room at the end of the hall. From her appearance, I assumed she was Heidi.

She was on guard the moment her eyes landed on me. I caught the hostility that came with seeing my scars for the first time, but Demetri held up his hand before she could lower into a defensive stance.

"Locate Aro and tell him we have a visitor. Caius and Marcus, too. I will take him to the North chamber," he told her. She nodded once and turned, getting to the door before Demetri stopped her. "Find Lucius, as well. I think we will need him."

Her intrigue was brief as she looked between us, but it was enough for me to question who Lucius was, and what importance he had. I couldn't recall the name. Though the Volturi hadn't actively recruited anyone in centuries, I was unable to rule out the possibility of them enlisting another member since Carlisle's departure.

I didn't have long to think about it before Demetri was on the move again. We travelled higher, moving at ground level now. There was a low murmur of voices as we got closer, and I knew the chamber wasn't far off.

"Wait here," Demetri instructed, coming to a stop outside a large door. When he disappeared inside, the voices grew louder, but Demetri's was not one of them. A full minute passed before I heard someone approach.

I tensed, preparing myself.

The instant the doors were open, I was bombarded with a foray of emotions. Wariness, suspicion, intrigue, surprise and a burst of anticipation coming from the far end of the room. I tried to pinpoint each, to categorise which would be the ones I had to look out for and which were less of a threat.

I was only just dissecting the most prominent emotions when suddenly, everything went quiet. I faltered. All I could feel was emptiness and a vapid, tormented kind of loss that sat at the base of my stomach. This was me. This was what I'd become.

The sudden silence scared me, but in a very weak, unsubstantial form, matching everything else. Like Edward's ability to read people's thoughts, my capacity to feel emotions meant they were in my head, too. They were loud and inescapable. Now they were gone, the sudden space to think of nothing but myself was unnerving.

I was still trying to wrap my head around it and I almost missed the sly glance Aro made to the left of him. I looked just in time to see the young, blond male nod once. It seemed he hadn't stopped watching me since I'd entered.

Who was he? His appearance didn't fit with any of the vampires Carlisle had described. Was he Lucius, the only name I hadn't recognised? The others I could place. Aro was before me, with Marcus and Caius seated behind him. Felix was a little to the left of Aro and Demetri was just behind me.

The lack of other guards didn't make sense, regardless of the early hour.

"It seems our visit is getting accustomed to the change." My focus snapped to the old vampire standing in the centre of the chamber. "What was it? A shield? Telepathy? Pain?"

The blond vampire shook his head, not looking away. "He's an empath."

My thoughts whirred at his announcement. I'd only ever met one other vampire who could sense and put a name to someone's ability without being on the receiving end, but to completely remove them, too? It bested Eleazar's gift and made the Volturi even more of a threat.

Aro's turned his hazy eyes towards me with a newfound appreciation. Even without my previous knowledge, it was clear extraordinary talents were his strongest weakness. It made him redolent with greed.

"Lucius is my latest find," Aro said smugly. "He can detect and eradicate abilities. Isn't it marvellous?"

I refused to answer him. There was nothing marvellous about it. Even my own twisted mind couldn't conform to that.

From my peripheral vision, Demetri stepped forward and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed.

Aro appraised me again, but this time, there was more substance behind it. "So, what have we here?"

"Another dying wish, sir," Demetri answered dryly, the hint of amusement in his voice being the only thing to discern what my absent ability could not. The thought of someone like _me_ coming here to die entertained him.

I bit back the urge to turn and rip his throat out. If I had to provoke them…he would be the first person I would go for.

Aro turned towards me. His eyebrow arched in what I could assume was his way of looking intrigued.

"Oh, really? And why, may I ask, is that?" When I didn't respond, he stepped forward. "A quiet one, are you? I guess I'll have to find my answers some other way. Give me your hand."

My hesitation lasted only a second, but it was enough for him to grasp that I knew exactly he was doing. He didn't question it, though; he'd understand why the moment our hands connect.

His touch was cold, even for me when he finally took my hand. I couldn't feel the memories flowing between us, but I knew what he would see - the newborns, the constant battle, Maria…_Alice_…the Cullens. Victoria.

"A lost mate," he said evenly.

I gritted my teeth at his announcement…_a lost mate_? Alice was more than just _a lost mate_. The instant the thought left my mind, Aro's gaze flickered to mine. He pulled back once again.

"My apologies," he said, the amusement too high to be true. "She's _more_ than just a mate, he says. Although…I must say it's not hard to see why."

I bristled as he delved into my memories yet again; undoubtedly looking into things only Alice and I knew about.

"It is a shame, I must admit." His voice was distant, only half there. "Her gift would have been for an intriguing addition to my cove-"

My free hand cut him off with a vicious snarl, wrapping around his throat. His guards advanced, but he held his hand up for them to stop, his other now wrapped around my wrist. He knew I wasn't going to attack, my thoughts didn't tally it. He also knew that could change in an instant. If he mentioned Alice again I would tear him apart before his guards could even react.

Hearing that thought, he released me and took two paces backwards. Putting enough distance between us that, if I chose to attack, I'd be intercepted.

"Does my old friend Carlisle know what you are asking of me?"

"You already know the answer to that question," I said through gritted teeth as all heads looked in my direction. The mention of Carlisle had caught their interest. It seemed he'd left as much of an impression on them as they had on him.

"I do," he countered, "But what do you suppose he would say when he finds out we killed his…_son_?"

He spoke the word as though the thought of Carlisle seeing me as his son was foreign to him. The vampires in his coven, they were nothing more than trophies. The stark difference between the two covens spoke volumes.

"He would come to accept my decision," I replied, fighting the nagging thought that before acceptance, pain would indisputably take centre stage. "The here and now does not concern him."

"So be it." He paused to look at the two seated in the large chairs behind him. When he turned back, there was a glint in his eye I didn't trust. "I must say, and I'm sure my brothers here would agree that killing someone who has the talent and experience that you have would be an awful waste. Would you not review your choices and join us, instead?"

My upper lip curled in disgust. "I would rather die than go back to the kind of life you are proposing."

Malevolence flashed in his eyes. My words had stung like an insult. When he spoke again, there was a hardened edge to his voice.

"What you need to understand, _boy_, is that the Volturi do not give out _favours_. If we were to show that weakness, how do you expect us to gain respect?"

I stared at him unwaveringly, letting the silence grow. His remark was all too familiar to my previous life with Maria. Doing anything that hinted at weakness meant you lost your credibility as a leader and someone they correlated with fear. You lose that aspect, and your advantage would be gone.

"It wouldn't be classed as a favour if I provoked you," I finally responded. My voice was emotionless; there was no hint of hesitation. We both knew I would take action if all else failed. "But I'd much prefer to come to some sort of agreement than spend my last moments in battle."

The corners of his mouth flickered into a twisted smirk as he lowered his pointed gaze to the only visible scars along my jaw and neck. I was sure he noticed my jaw tense at the scrutiny.

"Yes," he mused derisively, "I'd imagine deliberately losing a fight would be something of a challenge for you."

From behind him, Demetri's face split into a sardonic grin. I suppressed a snarl. The choice between him and Aro was suddenly a hard one. I wouldn't know which to attack. Given the proximity between myself and Felix, I would only have time to reach one before he cut me off. Aro was closest, but the thought of leaving Demetri with a permanent scar was too appealing to overlook.

Aro's voice broke me from my scheming. "An agreement could be met if you were to do something for us." He paused for effect, bringing his hands together. "The human girl I saw in your memories."

My initial reaction was Bella. I tensed at the thought of what they would make me do that involved her. I couldn't possibly go back to them, not like this. But Aro's next remark stopped me in my tracks.

"The girl you attacked in the forest – find out what she knows and whether she told anyone."

_Angela Weber_? In the rush of all that happened, I'd overlooked the incident which started this whole thing off. Out of everything, it was the last thing I expected him to focus on, but in hindsight, it made perfect sense.

She was a human who'd seen entirely too much.

"And when I've found out what she knows, then what?" I demanded, still unsure of his assignment. It would mean returning to Forks.

Aro's gaze flickered towards the vampire whose height and sheer strength surpassed even that of Emmett's.

"Then you'll get what you wanted."

I watched him for signs of deception, but without my ability, there was nothing to discern what was going on behind the blank canvas of his face. Whatever it was, he didn't want me to see.

Whatever it was, I didn't trust him.

"You may go now," he said, and then signalled for Demetri to come forward. "I think the North West exit would be most suitable."

At first I didn't move. This wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to do a single thing for them in return, and certainly not something that meant returning to where this started. In all the time I'd spent thinking about this very moment, having to do something in return wasn't anticipated.

It was yet another thing I'd failed to think of.

Demetri got closer and I knew my chance to provoke them was here. I would barely have to move to reach him, but the nagging voice was back again. This time, it wasn't about my family. It was about Angela Weber. They were only sending me to do their reconnaissance work so they didn't have to do it themselves. If I died here, they would merely send someone else in my place.

With that I turned away. I could sense Demetri was just behind me, but I kept moving. He wasn't a threat. I was at the door when I heard Aro's parting words.

"Keep her alive…if you can."

I looked back over my shoulder just as the chamber doors opened. As Aro met my gaze, I felt my expression harden. We both knew what the hidden message was. He didn't want Angela alive. He was ridiculing me, telling me not to kill her when all it would take was one mistake to do the very opposite.

Would he be pleased if I came back with red eyes?

The thought stuck with me long after I'd left Demetri at the opening of the North West passage. I walked at a human pace, following the dark path until it led out at the side of a rocky hill. Dawn was just breaking as I climbed to the top, hiding in the shadowed area so the sun wouldn't reach me.

What did I do now?

I knew what I _wanted_ to do. I wanted to go back, to die. There was nothing stopping me from re-entering the passage; it would be a deliberate suicide mission. Except there _was_ something stopping me.

Angela Weber.

My hand flew to my hair as I closed my eyes. Searching for her would mean returning to Forks; it would mean prolonging my existence. Not only was there the risk of being seen, there were the memories, and I wasn't sure there was enough of me left to cope with them.

_I just want to die_.

_I just want to die_.

But if I died, so would she. If I died, they would storm into her doubtless carefree and contented life and finish what I'd started three years before. Another death. Another life wasted.

Opening my eyes, I knew what I _had_ to do. I had to go back to where this all began.

* * *

**A/N: So…good reveal, bad reveal? A number of you were speculating whether it had anything to do with the Volturi, but did you think it would be Suicidalsper? At least you all know why Angela is involved now. Drop me a review and I'll give you a teaser.**

**To those wondering, Lucius is an original character. His ability is to detect and determine how powerful someone's ability is – like Eleazar's. He also has the power to weaken or completely remove said ability. The distance of how far his ability stretches depends on how focused he is on that particular person.**

**Funnily enough, I picture him looking like Draco Malfoy, hence where the name Lucius came from. *taps head* There's always a reason.**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: Chapter 17!**

**This is the final Jasper POV for a while. He will be back a little later in the story. The final scene is basically Chapter 2 from Jasper's POV. I tried to vary it a little so it doesn't seem like a complete duplicate. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Thanks, as always, to idealskeptic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and never will.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Angela**

**Jasper POV**

_October 2008_

Forks.

I never expected I would return here, not for another five or so decades, at least. It wasn't safe; the chances of someone recognising us were too high. But there were a lot of things I hadn't expected. They still happened.

Now I was back, not even five _years_ later, and the one person who would recognise me without doubt was in the building across the street from me. I hadn't intended to search him out, but something pulled me towards the police station…towards the man who'd lost everything because of me.

What would he do if he saw me? Freeze, I'd suspect, and then approach me. Maybe he would look for the others. Maybe he would be disappointed to know I was alone. Maybe he would be angry.

I closed my eyes. His loss would be too much to bear, a little too familiar.

When I turned, the missing person poster caught me off guard. It wasn't the picture of Bella that got to me; it was the memory behind it. The photo had been taken the summer before our disappearance. Bella must have had a copy of them on the laptop she'd left behind.

Alice had been insistent on taking pictures and flitted from person to person until they grew weary and sent her away. I'd managed to avoid the lens, but she'd caught me, perching on my back out of nowhere. When I'd looked at her over my shoulder, she'd taken the picture.

Somewhere there was that picture of me smiling at her. Alice said it was _her_ smile, the one I rarely shared with anyone else. When I questioned why she framed it, her response was simple.

"_It's so I can see your smile when you're not here."_

My hand slammed against the wall. The loss of her was dizzying and overpowering. I had to squeeze my eyes shut to stop from falling to my knees. My breath came in ragged gasps as I fought to regain control.

It didn't come.

I tore the poster down, letting it flutter to the floor. With great difficulty, I forced my legs to move forward. I had an assignment to complete. I needed to find her, not the things we'd left behind, and certainly not their…my…old home. I repressed a shudder. Vampire scents lingered a lot longer than human ones. Her scent would be everywhere.

No amount of time would make me ready for that.

_Focus, Jasper, focus on your objective_.

I drew in an unnecessary breath in order to ground myself. I then began my search of the Weber's house. Her father was a minister which meant their house would be next to the church.

It didn't take long to find it. Even if we rarely ventured into the residential areas, and had no reason to step even remotely close to the house of God, we'd still known our way around.

The problem was when I got there, Angela wasn't. Not only that, I couldn't catch her scent at all. Even if she wasn't home, her scent should have been strong, but it wasn't even lingering and there was only one person inside the house.

She wasn't here.

I was close to leaving when I heard the occupant moving through the house towards the front door. I should have turned, but something told me to stay.

The woman who stepped out of the house was unfamiliar. While I wasn't going to pretend I knew everyone in town, I knew enough to know _she_ hadn't been living in Forks three years ago. The fact she was the only one in the house told me she wasn't just a visitor. She lived there, which meant the Weber's had moved.

To save suspicion, I made sure she was far enough down the street before approaching. There was no way she would recognise my face. Of all the Cullens, it was Carlisle and Edward people remembered – the ones they focused on when Bella disappeared. I was just another sibling to them; the blond one.

"Excuse me," I called out, mustering a neutral, polite tone and straightened my expression. My eyes, though, were something I couldn't change, and when she turned to face me, I felt a flash of apprehension. After a couple of seconds, it grew in strength.

Human reactions…they were always the same.

"I was hoping you could point me in the direction of Mr and Mrs Weber's house," I continued, trying to work out my best excuse. Angela…she was the key. "I used to know their daughter – I was certain they lived in the area."

In an instant, her emotions flipped one-eighty. Strangely, sympathy replaced her apprehension as she took a small step towards me. "I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but…they died a little over a year ago now."

"All of them? The whole family died?" I asked, forcing away the dull ache I felt at the mention of another death. I didn't feel anything towards them; I hadn't known the Weber family. But there was something different when I thought about Angela, and I couldn't quite place it. All I knew, was it corresponded with why I was here in the first place.

If she was dead, I had no reason to stay.

"No, their daughter wasn't with them at the time." She shook her head sadly. "I believe she moved away. I don't blame her, the poor girl; she lost everything she ever knew in the space of twenty-four hours."

She interpreted my diverted gaze as something else. "I'm sorry for your loss."

I couldn't take much more of her inadvertent comments and nodded quickly, turning away without another word. I didn't stop until her curiosity died down and she carried on her way. It was only when I looked around did I realise where I'd stopped.

The cemetery.

Even as a vampire, cemeteries unsettled me. Rosalie used to say that, had any of us been granted our happy ending, we would be under gravestones by now. Had I never met Alice, I would have agreed with her.

It didn't feel right to walk among the gravestones while my very existence was cheating death, but my feet still led me through the gates. I was drawn to the newest section, my eyes searching out the two familiar names the instant I was close enough. It didn't take me long to find them.

_Mark Weber_. _Louise Weber_.

The flowers on their graves were dried and old. No one had come by to visit them in a long time. After a moment, the symbolism behind it forced me to look away.

What did I do now?

Angela was alive, but _where_? As warped as it was, I wished she was dead. I wished her grave was here beside her parents. That way I could have gone back to Italy…it could've been over. But now I had to find her – I had no other choice. If I lied and told him she _had_ died, Aro wouldn't settle until he'd seen for himself. Maybe he would kill me there and then for trying to fool him…but he wouldn't let Angela be.

He would kill her.

I stared at her parents names. With an unnecessary sigh, I knew I had to find her – _J. Jenks_ had to find her for me. I couldn't let her die, not by their hand. It was my fault she was involved…I'd been the one to attack her.

I'd brought about too many deaths, but if I returned to Volterra, if I paved the way for them to kill her themselves, Angela's would be the worst of them all.

* * *

_- Angela Louise Weber_

_- Born 14 April 1988, Age 20_

_- Apartment 2A, Western Avenue, Urbana, Illinois_

_- Works at Urbana library_

_- Studied at University of Illinois for a year_

_- Lives alone_

I read over Jenks' untidy scrawl as I made my way through the streets of Urbana. Locating people hadn't been his forte, but he'd soon suggested a contact he knew who could do the job, no questions asked. With the right mixture of fear and persuasion, I could get him to do anything.

The last thing I'd wanted to do was return to J. Jenks. He hadn't expected me to come back, and his terror was almost too much when he saw me walking through his office doors. Looking back, it was probably why the job took only one day to complete.

His relief had felt alien to me as I walked away.

I knew the information he'd provided me with was correct as I came upon the block of apartments it said she lived in. I didn't need to go inside to know this was the right place. Unlike in Forks, I could _smell_ her. Like a moth to the flame, it pulled me in. My vampire memory meant I didn't forget, but the scents of those I killed or came _close_ to killing were always stronger.

Fortunately, there were no security cameras to catch me as I moved to her door quicker than what was humanly possible. Venom pooled in my mouth. Her scent was strong, but it lacked the burn that hinted she was close by. There was a heartbeat from inside, but it was too irregular to be human. Jenks' contact had been right again; she lived alone. I would've _smelt_ them if anyone else lived with her.

As I left the building at a much slower pace, I tried not to think what would've happened if she'd been home.

The cool air cleared some of the iniquity from my thoughts as I headed for my next destination – the library. All I had to do was follow her scent. Like Victoria's, Angela's scent was everywhere. Except it was a whole other monster fighting to get out when I came in contact with it.

This time, there was no doubting she was here.

I waited outside for over an hour, sitting across the street and out of sight as I worked out what to do next. My plan was to approach her as she got closer to home. I would make sure she let me in and then I would question her. Manipulating her emotions would be easier than it was Jenks'.

Maybe an hour, at the most, and then I would leave. I'd take the money I had on me and book a ticket to Italy. Three days. This would be over in three days and then I could return to Alice. Finally.

With a jilted sigh, I closed my eyes and pictured her face.

It hurt more than I could bear to think about Alice, but this time, her purity broke through the shadows. She eradicated them, even if for just a moment. I'd take that pain if it meant I could see her again. I'd take it all.

"_Bye, Angela_."

My eyes snapped open as I heard the unfamiliar voice. The voice that responded, however, was exactly as I remembered it. I leaned forward as the door to the library opened and Angela stepped out. She paused for a moment to wrap her jacket a little tighter before walking away at a brisk pace.

I stood and followed, sticking to the other side of the street. She faltered a couple of times to look around, but I was too far away for her to recognise, and she was soon disappearing inside her apartment building. I crossed the road and caught the door before it could close behind her.

She was on the second floor when I silently followed her up. When her door came into view, she'd only just closed it behind her. The venom was back again as I stood outside her door for the second time. I had to clench my hands as I swallowed it back.

_Don't make this harder_. I spoke to the monster inside. I let out a low growl when its response was to make the burn in my throat more severe. Instead, I focused on the sound of her voice as she talked to her pet. When I heard it hiss, I knew she had a cat. I grimaced at that; cats were among the worst to react to our kind. They sensed we were danger and set up their defences.

The bigger the cat, the more hostile they became. It was probably why Edward enjoyed hunting them so much.

I closed my eyes at the reflection of my brother. Thoughts of my family kept seeping through, catching me when I least expected it and making my loss feel even stronger. I'd joined them because Alice wanted to, but over time, they'd become _my _family. More of a family than Peter and Charlotte would ever be.

The loss of them was never going to compare to Alice. They were so very small in contrast, but that didn't make it any easier.

That was the first crack in my selfish plan.

It was something other than the blood that made me retreat. Angela was leaving the apartment. I climbed another flight of stairs and listened as she made her way down. I followed because her scent was too strong for me to stay behind.

She was in the takeaway shop when I caught up with her. I waited across the street, and when she stepped out a few minutes later, I wondered whether she could feel me looking at her. Whether she knew she was being watched.

Her next stop was the rental place. I was staring ahead, waiting for her to re-emerge when something caught my attention, sending off warning bells in my mind. _Vampire_. Angela had rented a film about vampires, and given the girl's previous remark, it wasn't the first time.

The chance of it being a coincidence weren't high enough for it to be at all possible. She knew. _But that doesn't mean my work was done_. I never went on _chance_ and I certainly never left things to gut feeling. I needed proof; that was imperative.

I crossed the road when Angela stepped out. I had to do this now; going back to her apartment didn't feel like an option anymore. But as I approached, a sudden rush of sadness hit me like a wrecking ball. There was a familiarity to it, and her loneliness darkened my thoughts, reminding me of my own.

My previous assumption had been wrong. Her life wasn't carefree and contented…she wasn't happy at all.

I acted without sensible thought, reaching her in seconds. Her grief was cut short as my hand clamped over her mouth, my other around her waist. I pulled her into the alleyway before anyone saw me.

Angela struggled against my hold, panic taking centre stage, filling us both. She fought to break free as I fought the battle inside, the one that was trying to catch up with my actions.

_What now_? The monster demanded. _What will you do with her now_?

Violence.

I acted quickly and brought my hand down to the back of her neck, her body sagging as it knocked her unconscious. Her head lolled when I lifted her into my arms, revealing the pale curve of her neck. I felt the monster raise its head, pulling me in, just as her scent had when I first arrived. But this time it was different. She was in my arms – all I had to do was lower myself to her neck and sink my teeth into the soft flesh.

It would be easy, like a hand cutting through water.

I knew I could do it. There was nothing physically stopping me. She was alone here. Two, maybe three people would notice her absence enough to report her missing, but they'd never find her, I would make sure of that. _I could do it_. I could end her loneliness and mine…

_Keep her alive…if you can_.

The words came out of nowhere, but they were enough to knock the monster back into its cage. Aro had seen my struggle with self-control; he knew how easy it was to slip up. Those words had been nothing more than a way of mocking me. Carlisle had been wrong to say Aro was somewhat civilised.

When dealing with someone like me, he was the furthest thing from it.

With a shudder, I tore my eyes away from her neck. Placing her gently against the wall, I went for the things she'd dropped. I grabbed her bag, stuffing the DVD inside and threw her food in the trash.

She looked a lot smaller when I took her in my arms. I started to run, thankful for the bleak, winter evening. I didn't come across another human as I neared the local motel. Since arriving in Illinois the night before, I'd left my meagre bag of belongings in a pay per night motel room.

I never thought I'd need to use the room for anything other than storage. Yet as I laid her down on the unused bed, I wondered whether this vicious twist in my plans had always been there, somewhere in the back of my mind.

I knew I needed to hunt before she woke up. My eyes were surely black and that would only make it harder to remain in control. There was no telling the time it would take to find a suitable place to hunt, though. She could wake up while I was gone and escape.

In seconds I'd retrieved the curtain tie and was wrapping it around her slender wrists. I made sure it wasn't too tight, but still strong enough that she wouldn't be able to pull herself free. I then stored her bag in the closet and made my exit.

I couldn't decipher how hard I'd hit her, which meant working out when she'd come round was impossible. There would be a bruise, I could smell it already, but I didn't let the thought remain as I went in search of my hunt.

The motel was on the outskirts of the town, leading to a wooded area a few miles out. I found the first thing I could, snapping its neck before it could put up a fight. A growl left me as the blood hit my throat, but the satisfaction was minimal as it ran dry. It was nowhere near enough, but I still disposed of the body and made my way back. Back to her.

I'd been gone maybe twenty minutes, but she was still unconscious when I entered the dark room. The light outside was broken and I hadn't switched on the lights inside. I didn't want to. Though I could still make out her form on the bed, she wouldn't be able to see me.

Although I could hear her loud and clear, her emotions were quiet and faded; as though she was struggling to come through, but she couldn't quite make it. It wouldn't last long, I knew that. They would return, worse than before. Would she recognise me? Would she be scared? _Of course she would_, and when she woke up, I would use that fear against her. When scared, it was easy to make someone talk, Jenks proved that.

Now I just had to wait.

In the end, it took only fifteen minutes before she showed signs of coming round. She groaned, and a moment later her terror filled the room. A pure form that grated at me. I heard her start to cry as she pulled on the tie around her wrist, cursing as her desperation to be free grew even stronger.

I knew I had to step in and make my presence known. If I didn't, she would tear into her skin, and after being denied once, I wasn't certain I could resist for a second time, and Emmett wasn't here to stop me.

"Stop struggling."

Her heart spluttered and she stopped breathing. For a second, she barely made a sound. I was frozen. My voice had given off the spike of anxiety as it startled her, but the fear…what I'd expected to feel tenfold, was rapidly fading.

In its place were recognition and disbelief, uncertainty and confusion. Her emotions said she knew it was me, yet the realisation didn't scare her. Even after the attack, my presence didn't produce fear. _How was that possible_?

Within seconds I'd switched the lights on and trained my eyes on her as she shielded her own. I waited. Cautiously she looked at me. I waited again, this time for the terror to come.

It didn't. Again, I questioned how.

"Why did you tie me up?"

Of all things I'd expected her to ask, that hadn't been one of them. The normality of the question threw me. She was intimidated, that was plain to see no matter how confident she tried to sound, but the way she'd asked was as though it shocked her. It was as though something from her…_our_…past made my behaviour uncharacteristic.

I knew what it was that made her think that way, but that had been _before_ the attack. There was no way she felt the same.

I looked at her wrists. The tie was causing her discomfort. "There was something I had to do, and I couldn't leave you here knowing that you could get away before I talked to you. You would have gone to the police, and my opportunity would be gone."

There was no doubting I would have caught up with her, but it wasn't a risk I'd been willing to take.

_Disappointment_. "You could have untied me when you came back."

For a moment, something invisible was stopping me from responding. She was right, and she knew she was, but the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

Angela seemed cautious again as silence fell. _But not frightened_. She was impossible to work out, no matter how deep I pushed to find something that should have been there…something I didn't really want to find. Humans were always wary of me when I got too close, and her fear would have proved what I knew all along.

And yet, she wasn't. Why? Why was she so different?

_You know the answer to that, Jasper; you knew she was different, even then, even when she was just another student in the crowd_.

Stop it. That was before she knew what I was capable of; the attack should have set her right.

_Yet it didn't, clearly_. _She's not like the others; she's not like any of them_.

"How are you not scared of me?" I asked, letting the cover slip for a split second. When her response was nothing more than to question _why_ she'd be scared, I felt something snap within me. I stepped closer. Her reaction was careless, and she needed to be reminded of the inescapable truth.

"Because, Angela, I can kill you with a single flick of my hand," I said, ripping the material apart before her eyes. She flinched and I felt as she finally understood the depth of what my presence meant.

She sat up, not taking her eyes off me. "But you won't."

"No, I won't." I returned to my previous position, not quite understanding why I felt the need to assure her, when not ten seconds ago I'd tried to do the exact opposite. "I could, but I made a promise that I would keep you alive."

_Shock_…_anxiety_…_dread_…

The emotions were there for the taking. All I had to do was multiply it and send them back. She would answer everything I needed to know…but once again, something was stopping me, holding me back. The emotions I could feel coming off her were weak and had nothing to do with _me_, but the fact I'd promise _someone else_ I would keep her alive.

Could I make her fear me, when she'd already established she didn't?

I cursed under my breath when the answer became clear to me. If it was at all possible, I wouldn't be questioning myself. I would have done it automatically.

"You have to tell me what you know about me and my family," I commanded. The words came out a little harsher than intended, but mixed with the lack of strength to do what was needed, and the questions I could see forming in her mind, it was the only demeanour I could produce.

"I don't know anything," she replied barely a second later. I stared at her; she was lying. The response had come too quickly for it to be true – almost as if it was a lie she'd told many times before.

My jaw clenched. "You and I both know that is a lie."

She _knew_ something, to that there was no doubt. The speed of her response and the small heighten in her pulse was proof to that. But she wasn't telling me. She wasn't cooperating, and when the next words to pass her lips were a means of changing the subject, I knew this wasn't going to be as easy as I'd first thought.

"Why did you kidnap me?" She suddenly looked small again, fragile, as she huddled at the edge of the double bed. "You could have called my name, or…or…_anything_. Why did you have to be so…violent?"

My gaze hardened as she hit the nail on the head. "Violence is all I know."

The sadistic facet of my being found satisfaction in the way my response made her shudder. The room was filled with silence once again as I did my best to evade the confusing changeovers in her emotions. They kept switching from one thing to another, making it impossible to predict what was coming next.

I was proved right as she asked, "Where's Bella?"

I supposed I shouldn't have expected anything more. When any of us turned up again, it was a given Bella's whereabouts would be questioned. I wasn't going to answer her. The truth was, I didn't _know_ where Bella was, or if she was even _alive_. Two years had passed since I last saw her, and even if they somehow kept her alive, there was no chance of them staying in the same house after what happened to…

Angela's voice broke through, preventing me from falling into the black hole surrounding my family. Her voice made me focus on something else entirely.

"Is she okay?"

And just like that, I had my answer. She knew we were vampires; there was no way she'd ask if Bella had been taken away by a normal, human family. _They _wouldn't be a threat to her safety. But that still wasn't enough for Aro, was it? What would happen if I went back to Volterra and showed them what I'd seen?

"Why won't you answer my questions?" she asked, disappointed again.

_I can't even answer my own, Angela_. "I ask you a question, and you do not answer, yet you expect me to answer all of yours."

Somewhere, there was a voice telling me I was wrong. Had she given me an honest answer, there was no guarantee I'd have told her anything in return.

"I did answer your question," she replied, diverting her gaze.

"Yes, you did. But you lied," I said. _And you keep making that obvious to me_. "But I wish that what you had said was true because it would make this so much easier for me."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice desperately hopeful. The sentiment felt all wrong to me.

_I can't explain this to you_. Words would fail me, even if I wanted to. "Just tell me what you know, and then this can be over." _It can all be over_.

"I told you, I don't know anything." Her heartbeat increased as she answered, her hope fading as quickly as it formed. "A lot has happened since then…I forgot things. I don't remember anymore."

I fought the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose as the blatant lies spilled out in quick succession. She hadn't even looked me in the eye, so how was she expecting me to ever trust a damn word she said?

"Who did you tell?" I asked, taking a different route in an attempt to control my slowly rising temper. Luckily for the both of us, she gave me an honest answer. She hadn't told anyone, and I believed her.

My problem now was that I'd run out of oxygen, and the only way to replenish my supply was to inhale. With the door closed and the windows bolted shut, the only air was that surrounding me, filled with _her_. I looked towards the door so I couldn't see her in my peripheral vision. It was going to be hard enough without seeing the source.

Dry heat coursed down my throat as I took a single deep breath. I clenched my jaw and knocked back the venom, waiting for the initial burn to fade. It didn't, not really, and because of that, I knew talking would be harder now.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could last on this tainted air, and I still hadn't found the answer I was looking for. Even through her brief spells of anxiety, Angela hadn't come close to telling me. Her stubbornness was something else I hadn't expected, and it was another fact in a long line of them that proved this girl was different.

"Who will notice that you are missing tonight?" I asked; making the categorical decision I was sure to regret later. I was prolonging my time because of her, because I suddenly wasn't callous enough to manipulate someone who wasn't already scared of me.

The sinner, who'd killed innocent people without a second thought, couldn't bring himself to simply manipulate someone's emotions. The irony of it was jarring.

"Nobody," came out as a whisper and her breath caught. Her loneliness returned like a deadweight pressing against my shoulders, worse than earlier but I didn't acknowledge it in my expression.

"Then you will stay here for the rest of the night. When you wake up, you'll leave this room and will go home. You won't tell anyone about what happened here tonight. When you leave, there will be no need to return the key to the main desk as you can leave the door unlocked."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" she asked meekly. She hadn't let it slip into her voice, but I could feel a desperate sort of hope coming from her anew. The sentiment was so unexpected that it took me a moment to decipher what it meant.

_She wants me to stay with her_.

_I can't_. "I'm not staying."

A tremor of fright. "You're leaving me here?"

"I have to."

The sudden spike of dread and panic hit me as I turned away, flipping the switch as a shudder of my own tore through me. It had been so long since I'd felt emotions like this; my body didn't know how to process them. I clenched my hands, easing towards the door without a sound.

"Please." Her terror doubled as she filled the silence with her sobs. "Please don't leave me here alone."

I froze.

As the words left her lips, my mind travelled back to a time, so many years – _decades_ – ago. Back to a time where my eyes were red, my body filled with human blood, but also something far stronger.

Hope.

_The small woman in front of me was observing the area as though everything fascinated her. Every now and then, a few short bursts of excitement would ripple of out of her before she would move on, tugging on my hand to make me follow._

_I was still unsure what objectives held this tiny ray of light in place. I'd ventured into the diner on a whim, just to get out of the rain. She'd been there, waiting for me, just as though she'd known I'd be there all along. At first, my instincts told me to attack; that was the kneejerk reaction for any vampire who laid their eyes on me._

_But my ability picked up nothing but happiness and warmth…_love_. Impossible, I'd thought, even Maria hadn't been able to fool me with false emotions. Yet it felt real, everything about her did. By the time she'd held her hand out to me, she'd captivated me completely. I'd taken her hand without thinking, and now here I was, following her without question._

_The day slowly drifted into night, the sky growing darker until it was completely black._

"_We should stop," she told me. I merely did as I was told. Night time was the easiest time for our kind to travel, but I didn't question her on why we couldn't go any further. For once, getting answers didn't seem to matter._

_She settled onto a small patch of grass and looked around, her eyes probing the darkness as though scoping for danger. A second later, she became utterly motionless, her eyes going out of focus. My brows furrowed at her confusing actions._

_I wanted to ask, to understand, but her sudden fear took my words away. It was so abrupt that I knew something was wrong. I scanned the area myself, inhaling to catch the scent of another vampire, wondering what she'd seen that I hadn't. But there was nothing. It was just the two of us._

_What was she scared of? The only thing which could possibly harm her was another of our kind, and I'd already established I was the only other…_

_Comprehension dawned quickly. _I_ was the threat. My battle scars were enough to scare anyone, and now it was dark, she was…regretting her earlier actions. There was no other explanation for it._

_In an instant I was on my feet, ready to give her space. I would return at first light, but only so I could make assurances that I would never do anything to harm her._

_But as I turned to leave, she snapped from her reverie. "No!"_

_I revolved around and looked down, her anxious eyes meeting mine, begging me. The fear was still there, but only now, as I stared into her eyes, could I see it wasn't directed at me at all._

"_Please don't leave me here alone," she whispered with an innocent sort of vulnerability in her eyes I'd never seen from a vampire before_.

I sunk to my knees, feeling the relentless agony tighten itself around my chest a little bit more. I hadn't been able to leave when Alice uttered those words, and I couldn't do it now it was Angela.

Staring into the darkness, I knew I wouldn't leave her.

Alice would have wanted me to stay.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think! I'll give you a teaser if you review.**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Chapter 18!**

**We're back to Angela's POV again; I know some of you missed hearing from her. She's taking the next three chapters. Thank you, readers!**

**Another thank you to idealskeptic for pretty much everything. Like she said in her latest update of _Tread Softly_, she is the other half of my brain, and vice versa. I've never had so much fun planning a chapter than I have with her.**

**Disclaimer: If Twilight was mine, it would have been a hell of a lot darker.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Four Words**

It had been an hour since Jasper finished speaking. I hadn't seen him since. He'd merely gotten up and left me to my thoughts. I wasn't sure where he went, and I knew if I stood up and looked around, I'd see him. But I wasn't going to. He needed his privacy, and I was giving it to him.

That wasn't the only reason, though; I needed some time to myself as well. I needed time to think, and work out what I was going to say on his return. I had to plan it so I didn't screw up.

The only problem was I didn't _know_ what to think. I didn't _know _what to say. The only thing I could manage was to stare at the seat before me and roll the same four words around my mind.

_He wants to die_.

I attempted to find some way to…not understand – I already did, I just wanted to find a way to accept it, I supposed. My initial reaction had been to decline the notion, but the words had caught in my throat.

My time to speak still hadn't come, and I was certain when it did, I wouldn't be able to say it. How did I tell him I didn't want to watch him die? How did I even know he'd listen to me? My words meant nothing – clearly, as these Volturi, as I now knew them, still wanted to see me even though I'd assured Jasper I was sworn to secrecy.

So why would it mean anything to him if I said I didn't want him to die? He'd made up his mind a long time ago. My small plea wouldn't be strong enough to sway that; I didn't mean enough for that to be possible.

That wasn't the only thing on my mind, though, the Volturi were pushing through. I still didn't know much about them, not how many there were, or what they were even doing, but I knew what they wanted. I knew how they played things. They didn't believe in doing anything out of the kindness of their heart; there had to be some kind of benefit, something that would make it worthwhile.

For Jasper, it seemed there were a few, and he had no way of hiding from them. I'd found out Victoria wasn't the only one who had a special ability – the leader of this…_coven_ could read every thought someone had with the touch of his hand. Jasper had been unable to prevent him from seeing _everything_ - including the attack on Bella's birthday. That memory had sealed it.

It made sense, I supposed. From what I could tell, they were like vampire royalty; they were at the top of the pile, the ones who watched over everyone else and made sure things were in order. But they were darker…people feared them and didn't want to break their rules.

Their most important rule being to keep the existence of vampires a secret…a rule Jasper had inadvertently broken. I didn't want to think about what they would do with me; Jasper said they wanted to talk, but how true was that? I couldn't be certain of anything anymore.

But like I said, I didn't want to think about it – I _couldn't_, not unless I wanted to lose myself completely.

The only problem was, if I wasn't thinking about myself, I was thinking about Jasper and what was going to happen. We were in the last stages now; the only thing left to do was bring me to them, and we were already halfway there. It wouldn't be long now.

Once again, those four words returned, except this time, the wording changed.

_He's going to die_.

I forced my eyes shut as my chest tightened. The pain was unbearable.

* * *

I think it was an hour before Jasper finally returned, but I couldn't be sure. I must have somehow dozed off because when I opened my eyes, he was beside me. Checking my watch hadn't helped as I couldn't remember what time we'd taken off, and up here, time seemed to stretch, then hurry along in random bursts.

He was very quiet as I sat up into a more comfortable position. I was just trying to work up the courage to break the silence when he did it for me.

"I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did."

I shook my head, not knowing why he felt he had to apologise. "Don't be. I understand the need to think by yourself."

After a while, I knew I had to say something more. I tried to formulate the words I'd been planning in my head, but they wouldn't come. Looking at him now, it didn't seem right to say it. But even I knew that was just an excuse; I didn't have it in me to say I didn't want to see him go through with this.

In the end, I settled for what I knew I had to say.

"I'm sorry for what happened to Alice, I really am," I said quietly. When he nodded once, I went on. "I know it's not the same, but I understand what it's like to lose the most important person in your life. When my parents died, I…I could barely function. It felt like there was nothing left for me anymore." _...it still does, sometimes_.

He was looking at me and I was certain he knew my parents had died, but it was the first time we'd talked about it…it was also the first time I'd admitted it out loud. Before this, no one else really understood.

"God works in mysterious ways," I said, more to myself than Jasper. _Really damn mysterious ways_. "My father always used to say that everything happens for a reason, that _He_ has a reason and it happens because of what it'll eventually lead to. I supposed he was trying to say that, in the end, no one should take the blame for it because it was meant to be."

I sighed, wringing my hands to take away my nerves. "I have a hard time believing that last part. I have a hard time believing any of it anymore.

"I'm not trying to say what happened to Alice, happened for a reason, but what I _am_ trying to say is…it wasn't your fault. What happened was out of your control, out of everyone's, and you shouldn't blame yourself for it."

When I looked up, the fierceness of his expression startled me.

"How can you _say_ that?" he demanded, his eyes sharp. He spoke quickly, as though it was the first time he was admitting it aloud. "I wasn't _fast_ enough when she needed me. I had the chance to go back and I _didn't_. All I did was move further and further away. If I was with her I would have saved her. She would still be-"

"_Stop_." The word came out harsher than I intended, but they did their job when he fell silent. "What is that going to achieve? What will you get out of thinking like that? Let me know, because I really can't see it."

It was as though the scolding tone of my voice had rendered him speechless; to a point, at least. I wasn't sure when I first noticed it, but he'd slowly started to let his guard down around me, letting me see him properly, small bits at a time. I could see it now, and because of his silent stare, he'd given me full access to his eyes. They were a gateway into the words that lay beyond his silence.

He thought it was what he deserved…blaming himself, thinking of what he could've done different…that was his punishment. To some extent, I knew what that felt like, and I knew for a fact it didn't get you anywhere.

But he needed to see that.

"Do you know why my parents were in the car that day?" I asked, forcing back the burn in the back of my throat at the mention of that fateful day. He didn't answer, but we both knew where I was going. "They were doing something on my behalf."

I took a deep breath, making sure to not break our gaze. "Tell me, Jasper. If I'd gone instead of them, if I'd been in the car myself…they'd still be alive, wouldn't they? They'd never have left the house that day and I wouldn't have lost my parents. I blamed myself, just as you are now - it was all I could think about for months. But do you know what made me change?"

He still didn't respond and I guess I shouldn't have expected anything more. By now, he was well aware this was eventually going to lead back to him. It was as though he was already trying to block me out. He didn't want to listen, but I was going to make him. He _had_ to.

"I had a dream," I said simply over the lump in my throat. I'd never admitted it to anyone before. They'd all speculated what made me finally decide to pick myself up and move forward, naturally, but I never told them. I couldn't because they'd want an explanation, and I didn't have one. I don't think there _was_ one.

Maybe it was God again, him and his mysterious ways.

"It was my mom who came to me in the dream," I continued quietly. "She told me they didn't blame me…and I believed her. I had to. The guilt would have destroyed me if I didn't. Now, wherever they are, I know they're watching over me and they don't blame me for what happened to them."

Jasper had looked away the moment I told him what my mother said. Now his eyes were closed, scrunched tight. My heart went out to him as I tentatively placed my hand on his forearm.

"It's exactly the same for Alice." I swallowed heavily as I felt something growing between us, a stronger connection. "I know she's watching over you, but I can't tell you what she'd say. You're the only one who'll know the real answer, but you have to ask the question first. Would she blame you?"

My heart was racing and I knew he could hear it, but I didn't care. I wanted so badly to get through to him, to ease this pain he was putting himself through, even if by a little, just as my mother's words had done for me.

He looked so exposed beside me, suddenly so small. As I felt a shudder tear through him, all I wanted to do was pull him closer. I wanted to hold him, to trail my fingers through his hair until the tension was eradicated. But I couldn't; it wasn't possible. All I had was this one form of contact.

Somehow, though, it was enough for now.

"She wouldn't, would she?" I said as soft as I could, knowing it was the truth. After a moment, he drew in a jagged breath, his free hand seeking to cover mine.

* * *

Neither of us broke the silence which fell over us, we hadn't needed to. He'd eventually let go of my hand, and I'd duly pulled back. I missed the contact, but took to watching him, instead, once he'd leant back and closed his eyes.

Somewhere along the way, I'd fallen asleep again, only to wake up as the plane made its descent. We were making our way to bag collection when he'd reached out to me, waiting until we were the only ones standing in the long corridor.

"You were right, what you said about Alice," he said, his hand lingering just below my elbow. "Thank you. You're the only one who could have said that to me. Probably the only one I'd listen to."

I hadn't been able to respond, my voice being lost amidst my feelings for him, for his words, and how much they'd meant to me. But then, I don't think he required an answer. We both knew he had a long way to go before he accepted he wasn't to blame, but he would get there eventually. All he needed was time.

Time…

For a moment there, I'd forgotten what his future held. It was only when we arrived at our hotel for the night did I remember he didn't _have_ time. It was nearly up for him now, and as I glanced at Jasper from across our room, I wondered if he even realised.

I wondered if he realised he could survive this, if he tried.

I escaped to the bathroom when that thought made me feel miserable again. I spent ten human minutes, then another five trying to compose myself enough to face him again. When I finally re-entered the room, Jasper was standing at the table, sorting something out in his bag. I walked past him and clambered onto the bed. I was tired, but I wasn't sure how much shut eye I was going to get. It was dark outside, but my body was still set to Seattle time. So I watched him, instead.

"Are you going to be okay on your own?" he asked as he zipped up his bag a short while later.

"You're leaving?" I frowned, my heart jolting at the thought. "You don't have to leave on my account. I don't mind you staying."

_I want you to stay_.

"It's not that." There was the barest hint of a smile on his face, as though the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. I was comforted by that, for a second or two. "I think it's vital I hunt before our next flight."

_Hunt_? I didn't understand what he meant – hunt for what? It took me all of ten seconds for things to click into place.

"Oh."

He was going to hunt for his…dinner. He nodded when he saw I understood and made his way to the door. "I shouldn't be gone for more than a few hours at the most, I promise. You should get some rest."

He gazed at me for a couple of seconds before opening the door and disappearing into the corridor. I sat back against the headboard, pulling the covers up to my waist. Now he was gone, the room felt empty; it was too quiet, and I didn't like it. He'd left me alone in Seattle, but now we were in a different country, it felt strange, and I wished he'd stayed with me.

However, I wasn't selfish enough to ask him not to go. I'd seen firsthand what it was like when his thirst got too much, and being on a plane full of people wasn't going to be easy on him. He needed to hunt, and I wasn't going to stop him.

I settled myself down on the bed after that and dimmed the lights; it didn't feel right to switch them off completely. I was still a little too unnerved to lay in complete darkness, anyway.

Though I wasn't sure how successful I was going to be, I shut my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

* * *

During the following hour I managed to drift off, but what I drifted into was far worse. I was in a dark room, standing in front of a two-way mirror. My heart was pounding in my ears as the lights flickered on and lit up the room on the other side of the mirror. It was a line-up of five men; their faces were blacked out…all except one.

_Jasper's_.

"Which one is he?" a voice demanded to my left. I instantly knew they were after Jasper…something within me screamed not to tell them, to not trust them. But when I tried to lie, Jasper was all I could see.

There was a cackle next to my ear, and suddenly the other men disappeared, leaving Jasper alone as flames went up around him. I screamed his name as I rushed forward, yelling at him to move, to save himself.

"Angela."

His lips didn't move, but it was unmistakably his voice calling my name. I shouted for help, for someone to get him out…but he wasn't moving. As tears poured from my eyes, I realised he was letting it happen.

"Angela!"

His voice came again, louder and more urgent than before. I felt someone put their hands on my shoulder, pulling me away from the mirror just as the flames engulfed him.

My eyes shot open and light flooded my vision as I jolted awake. Jasper's hands fell from my shoulders when I sat up. I sucked in a breath as the tears from my dream started flowing. Without thinking, I threw myself into his arms, sobbing against his shoulder.

He was here…he was alive.

I gulped down air, breathing in his scent to calm myself down. It was then I felt his hand ghost across my side, and my mind caught up with my actions. I pulled back instantly, my breath catching in my throat.

He stared at me, his expression impassive and unreadable.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, feeling completely mortified that I'd done something so stupid as to throw myself into his arms. How could I be so foolish? There was an awkward pause as I wiped at my eyes with the palm of my hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he perched on the edge of the bed. While it was nice of him to offer, I couldn't tell him what happened in my dream, not after the way I'd acted. I could see it in his eyes; he didn't know what to do.

I shook my head, curling my legs in front of me and wrapping my arms around them. He kept his eyes on me and didn't say anything; but then again, he didn't have to. He always had that look about him, as if he knew full well when I was lying.

It was only then it dawned on me, as I watched him get up, that he'd been the one to wake me up. He'd called my name, and those hands pulling me away from the fire were his pulling me from the nightmare. It was such a relief to know he was back, but how long was that for?

The dream might have been make-believe, but there was some truth at the base of it. He was taking me to see these _Volturi_, and they would grant his wish and end his life. There would be fire, and he would let it happen, just like my dream.

I was the key to all of this, the final piece of the puzzle they required. It made me feel sick to know I would have a part to play. He'd taken me this far, and now I had no way of getting away from it. I knew this hadn't been his plan; he hadn't wanted me to be involved, but there was no other way.

He wanted to die. There was no life for him without Alice, regardless of what I thought, and while I might have understood what it was like to lose the most important people in your life, even my pain didn't rival his.

But what was going to happen now he was becoming the most important in my life? After all this, how was I just going to walk away, knowing he was going to die, just like all the rest? Theoretically, that depended on whether or not they were going to let me go in the first place.

Right now, I wasn't sure what was better. Dying, or knowing I'd helped him die. As morbid as it was, the thought of losing him felt far worse.

Pulling myself from the bed, I snagged my sweater from the side. "I'm going for a walk," I told him as I pulled the sweater over my head. "I know we have to leave for the airport in a few hours, so I won't go far."

He nodded and I hovered in the doorway. For a second of two, I got the impression he didn't want me to leave. But I had to. I held his eye contact before silently slipping outside. I didn't end up going far at all. There was a lounge a floor down from our room which was relatively quiet. I could only assume the guests were having their breakfast, as a quick glance at the clock told me it was just after eight in the morning.

I hadn't been asleep for long, maybe five hours at the most. My mind was still a bit scrambled, so I got myself some water from the drink machine and curled up on the couch by an open window. I watched the clock for a little while before that got too much and I looked away again. In six hours I'd be halfway across Europe, after that, I didn't know what would happen. I wasn't sure of our next move once we got to Italy; I knew we'd be driving again, but for how long? Would we go straight to the Volturi?

I had to take a deep breath and bow my head because the thought was making me feel even worse. I didn't want to go to Italy full stop, let alone being with those…those murderers by the end of the day.

Just thinking about them brought me back round to what was going to happen to Jasper. I couldn't bear the thought of it, yet all this time he'd known what was going to happen at the end of this. I wasn't angry at him, not for leading me into it. I was just distraught there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. He'd made up his mind a long time ago; I was just something he'd picked up along the way.

It was about five minutes later that I made my way back up to the room. When I walked in, Jasper was just stepping out the bathroom wearing a pair of loose, gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. My pulse quickened unbidden at the sight of him, his hair wet and dishevelled. I'd never seen him looking so…_casual_.

It really suited him.

While he was usually quite formal, the casual look made him even more attractive. _Ridiculously_ more attractive. He must have felt my gaze on him because it was then I realised he probably wasn't meeting my eye for that very reason.

He padded across the room, his bare feet hardly making any noise at all. I swallowed heavily and dragged my eyes away from him as he sat down at the desk, his back to me. After a moment, I regrouped and ambled over to him, pausing to look over his shoulder. He was looking at road maps again, but now they were maps of Italy.

I watched his fingers trace various roads for a moment or two before my gaze wandered. My eyes landed on his forearm. It was I realised, the first time I'd seen him wearing a t-shirt. His skin was just as pale as I expected, but what stoked my curiosity was, like the instance in the library back home, the light – albeit artificial on this occasion – made me notice the odd texture-like scars on his skin.

This time, however, it wasn't just one.

There were lots of them criss-crossing along his arm in a crescent shape. I was seconds from daring to get a closer look when he suddenly pulled away from the lamp. I took a step back as he stood, knowing he'd felt my curious gaze fixed on his skin once again.

When he pulled on the hoodie draped across the back of his chair, I knew I was right.

I felt my cheeks heat up, and I quickly backed away again. He was looking at me now; I could feel it. I busied myself with taking my shoes off, just so I didn't have to meet his eye.

When I snuck a glance at him, it looked as if he knew exactly what I was thinking, and it made things even more embarrassing.

"Was someone trying to hurt you?" he asked, quietly, his sudden question taking me by surprise. He must have sensed my confusion as he elaborated. "In your dream, was someone trying to hurt you? You seemed very distressed; I just assumed it was because you felt as though you were in danger."

I shook my head slowly. "It was you," I said, the words coming out as a quiet mumble. It became clear he was trying to steer the atmosphere away from the awkward tension that had settled over us since I came back, but this chosen topic seemed even harder to handle.

His expression closed off, his eyes going blank. "I would never hurt you."

His voice was full of sincerity and truth, but there was a touch of disappointment, too, and it rapidly dawned of me how my response must have sounded to him. He thought I'd meant _he _had been the one hurting me in my dream.

I quickly shook my head again, my brow creasing together. "No, the people in my dream…they were hurting you, and I couldn't stop them."

A look of sadness washed over his features as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. I sighed quietly to myself as I went towards the couch and crumpled onto it. When I looked back at him, his eyes were open again, and he was running his fingers through his wet hair.

I kept my gaze on him, unable to pull away. It made an ache form in my chest to know he thought I'd dreamt about him hurting me; it was the disappointment that got to me the most. It only led me to believe he'd been disappointed I hadn't known I was safe whenever I was with him - maybe even disappointed with himself, and that made the ache grow even stronger.

"Jasper, I know you'd never hurt me," I whispered, my eyes welling up as I watched him turn his pained stare towards me. "I trust you more than I trust anyone right now. You must know that…"

The room fell into silence as Jasper slowly walked over and settled onto the couch beside me. The change was instant. I felt better being close to him; it was as if I was never wanted to part from him, and when he moved his hand to hover over mine, the feeling intensified.

He seemed to hesitate, but finally covered my hand with his, curling his icy fingers around my own. My heart constricted as I looked down at our joined hands; it was a simple gesture, but for him, for us, it was immense.

"Thank you," he said gently. His voice had taken on that vulnerability which was so uncommon for him. "Thank you for the believing in me."

When my watery gaze met his golden one, I could see what he was trying to get across…I believed in him when so many others didn't.

I freed my thumb and trailed it across his knuckles, allowing it to linger. I was unable to tell him anything in response…I just couldn't find the words that would make him believe in himself.

It broke my heart anew to know that, and as his grip tightened, I wanted nothing more than to hold him here forever.

* * *

**A/N: Teasers goes out to reviewers, you know the drill. I might start posting teasers, songs that fit the story, pictures, banners and the like on my blog between updates. Would anyone be interested in that? You can follow my blog here: frozensoldier-paula . blogspot . com**

**Loving the image of Jasper barefoot and fresh from the shower, js. Can't fault Angela for her reaction.**


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: Chapter 19!**

**A big thank you to my readers, I'd be my only reader if it wasn't for you guys. Idealskeptic? Y'all know how much I love her.**

**The awesome RaindropSoup reviewed my story on The LUV'NV (****www . theluvnv . com**)** There's a link on my blog, if you wanted to check it out.**

**Semi-important question/opinion thingy at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Italy**

It took less than three hours to fly to Italy. The flight was the shortest by far, and I wished it wasn't. There was that ever-present sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, and we'd barely been in Italy half an hour.

I'd assumed Jasper would call for another taxi, but we'd stopped at the passenger helpdesk where he hired a car. The Italian that flowed from him was fluent and left me speechless. It shouldn't have surprised me, but as he was handed a token and receipt, I wondered how many other languages he knew.

We were walking towards the exit when Jasper came to an abrupt stop. I stopped a few paces ahead of him and turned back. He was staring at the floor, but when I looked down, all I saw was the silhouetted line the setting sun cast. He took a step back, moving further into the shadowed area.

"Jasper?" I said uncertainly, following him. "What's wrong?"

He glanced around at the bustle surrounding us. After a moment of deliberation, he shook his head. "I'll explain later when we're alone. For now we'll have to wait inside for a little bit longer."

When he sat down on the bench furthest away from the entrance, it dawned on me the slowly setting sun had a big part to play in all this. I'd all but forgotten the stupid vampire myths when a real one had become a big part of my life, which meant the whole burning in sunlight hadn't occurred to me at all.

While I wasn't stupid enough to believe he would go up in flames the second we stepped into the sun, I knew there had to be _something_ in it for him to act the way he was. He was avoiding the sun for a reason, and the only thing stopping me from asking him now was that he said he would explain later when we were alone again.

Fifteen minutes passed and finally he was satisfied enough for us to leave, but even then, he pulled his hood up. It was approaching dusk when we got outside; all that remained of the sun was the orange-red glow across the sky. Our hired car was at the end of the drop off zone, but I sensed Jasper's irritation the instant we approached the man leaning against the bonnet.

I held back as he approached him, not understanding the problem. Were we not allowed the car? Or had this man claimed it himself? I frowned, moving to stand beside them. Understanding them was useless, though. They were speaking in Italian.

"Non me ne vado fino a che non mi procuri un'altra auto," was Jasper's final response. While I didn't understand the words, I could make out the impatience in his voice easily enough. The man muttered something in Italian and turned away, getting into the car and driving off. I was taken aback when Jasper let out a low growl.

"What was that all about?" I asked, watching the car disappear around the corner. "Has he just driven off with our car?"

Jasper composed himself before answering. "It was the wrong car. I specifically requested a car with tinted windows. He started to argue when I told him to get me what I asked for."

"So he's going to get it now?" I asked. He nodded but didn't say anything else, so we settled for silence while we waited. I would have to ask about the tinted windows later. The sun was gone now, so it couldn't be that…

It took nearly ten minutes for the man to return with a different car. Luckily for him, the windows were tinted. If the growl was anything to go by, I wouldn't want to be him if he presented Jasper with the wrong car twice.

When he got out and swapped his keys for our token, Jasper's muttered, "_Grazie_," amused me more than it probably should have. He pulled his hood off the instant we were in the car. Though I couldn't explain it, I felt much better now I could see his whole face again.

Now we were alone, though, I wanted answers. The only problem was I didn't know how to ask him. I wasn't sure how long we'd be driving for, but I had a fair guess it would be a couple of hours at least. I didn't want to talk so soon into the journey and end up not saying a word for the next few hours.

It seemed Jasper had other plans. "I suppose you're waiting for me to explain why I made you hang back at the airport?" When I nodded, he continued without faltering. "Our skin reacts in sunlight."

The simplicity of his answer surprised me. "Reacts?"

"After a vampire is changed, our skin takes on crystalline properties," he said, a little slower now as though he wasn't sure how to best explain it. "When in the sunlight, it has a sort of prismatic reaction."

"Kind of like a diamond?" I asked, frowning as I tried to wrap my mind around it. I couldn't picture it, and without the sun, it was hard for the both of us to describe. I needed it there in front of me to understand.

He considered it for a moment. "I suppose you could look at it that way, yes."

"So you…sparkle?" I said hesitantly, unable to find another word besides _sparkle_. It was either that or _glitter_, and both sounded equally as fairytale princess. The instant it was out I knew he objected to it as his upper lip twitched into a grimace.

"I think it's easier if I just showed you," he countered, deliberately ignoring my question. I quickly agreed and turned away so he wouldn't see the sudden grin on my face. The fact he'd ignored my enquiry over his _sparkle_ made me believe it was true, he just didn't want to admit it.

"I don't know why you're amused," he said shortly, though his voice lacked annoyance. "It isn't funny."

I tried and failed to straighten my expression. "I know. I'm sorry, Jasper…it's really not _funny_…"

At that, I burst into a fit of giggles. It had been so long since I'd laughed that I had a hard time stopping. So much so it took a while to notice the car was gradually losing speed. When I looked at Jasper to find out why, I saw he wasn't focusing on the road at all.

"What?" I asked, sobering, as I met his surprisingly tender gaze. He didn't answer at first, merely staring back until he finally snapped out of it. A faint smile curled the corners of his mouth as he half shook his head.

"It's the first time I've heard you laugh," he said, returning his attention to the road. As the car picked up speed again, I knew there was something seriously wrong with that. I hadn't laughed once in a month, not with him, at least. I hadn't even come close to it.

"Yeah," I replied, wondering whether I'd be able to laugh like that again before our time together was up. "I guess it was."

As I settled into my seat, I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't.

* * *

Driving through Italy took longer than it did to fly there. I could tell the car was frustrating Jasper – the speed, more than anything. It was a typical rental vehicle, reaching maybe one hundred miles per hour if the road was clear and long enough for that to be possible, which it wasn't, the majority of the time.

It wasn't the Aston Martin that was for sure.

When I'd asked whether Carlisle owned a garage in Italy, he'd give me the simple answer that they had no reason to come anywhere even remotely close to Italy. Of course, the sun made it almost impossible, but I deduced it was more to do with the Volturi.

Why would they willingly go near them?

He did offer, though, that there was a garage somewhere in England, but that was the only one this side of the world. I'd asked why, genuinely curious as to why they'd pay for a garage and have cars stored there when it was halfway across the world.

Like most things, I'd been able to understand once he'd explained that, if they needed to, they could immigrate to England and would have transport on hand. What did surprise me, however, was to find out Carlisle originally came from seventeenth century London. For some reason, that was more astounding than when Jasper worked out he was physically older than Esme, Emmett, Edward and Rosalie put together.

I was a little cautious to ask more about him, but to my relief, Jasper was willing to talk. I didn't ask about the other members of his family, sensing they were still off limits. He told me of what he knew about Carlisle's beginning and how he'd accidentally come across the vegetarian lifestyle they'd all adopted.

Considering his previous remark, it wasn't hard to deduce Carlisle had been alone for a long time before he found someone. In the silence, I mused whether that was why he surrounded himself with a large family now.

Our talk of Carlisle took us right to our destination. I didn't know how far up we were, but it had taken us over three hours to get there.

Fear had overcome me as we drove through the small village of Prato D'Era. It was late – gone ten at night. If there was nowhere to stay, would we go straight to the Volturi? Who was to say they weren't right around the corner? Had he told them we were arriving? Were they waiting for us?

The fear had won as Jasper pulled up in a space on the side of the road. He was out of the car and at my door in seconds. I wouldn't have been able to open it myself, even if I'd tried.

"Angela?"

My hands were trembling madly as I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out. I could feel his eyes on me as I pressed my back to the car, the coldness seeping through my clothes. I scanned the dark, seemingly empty street as Jasper shut the door behind me.

In an instant, he was directly in front of me, demanding my full attention. "They're not here," he said firmly, interpreting my body language correctly. "I promise you, Angela. You're safe."

_For now_.

Jasper could read me like an open book and he was doing so as I met his eye. He knew I was terrified. There was something more, though, something I noticed as I tried to let his words soothe me. It was hesitancy and a different kind of exposure to the type I'd seen before.

When he finally acted, they made perfect sense.

I all but collapsed against him as he wound his arms around me. His hold was tight, secure…_safe_, and everything I'd been feeling in the past few days came out as I returned the embrace.

The last thing I wanted to do was cry, but I was unable to stop them from spilling. I half expected him to pull back, to distance himself from my trembling body, and let me cry it out by myself. But he didn't. He held me tighter, encasing me in his strong arms and rubbing circles into the middle of my back.

It was impossible to tell how long we stood together, but when we finally parted, I got the impression he'd needed it as much as I had. Maybe even more.

"Thank you," I said, wiping my eyes. He offered a half smile and nodded. His response was simple, but it warmed me.

The woman behind the desk of the small inn seemed to be expecting us. Jasper's fluent Italian meant she didn't even know we were American. I felt comforted by that. The less people knew about us, the less chance _they_ had of finding out sooner than Jasper intended.

Our room was smaller than the others, but it felt more personal, unlike the generic hotels we'd stayed in before. I could have liked this room the best if thoughts of the Volturi weren't hanging over my head.

The moment we were alone, I found myself drawn to the bed. I was beat, but torn between crawling into bed and staying up with Jasper. I wanted both; I just didn't have the _time_ for both.

"Angela." I looked up from where I'd been standing in the middle of the room, staring at nothing. "Don't fight it. I know you're exhausted."

I smiled wearily, asking before I could understand why. "Will you be okay?"

It seemed my question stumped the both of us. I half shook my head when he looked away. _He's right_, I thought, _I shouldn't fight sleep_. My question didn't make sense. I was halfway to my bag when I heard his faint response.

"I will be."

My brain went into autopilot and I nodded without thinking. _Okay_, I thought as I gathered my bed things and moved to the bathroom. I was still in a confused daze when I came out five minutes later and slid beneath the cool sheets.

He fell silent as I laid down, curling the covers under my chin. I wanted to sleep so badly, but my mind was suddenly refusing to shut down. All I could think about was Jasper's response.

_I will be_.

_But what did he mean_?

* * *

I woke with a start.

Pitch black greeted me. I froze as the darkness pressed against my face like a physical weight. There was no light, not from the window or the cracks underneath the closed door.

"Jasper?" I called out, trying to remain calm.

_No answer_.

My voice betraying me the second time I called his name and still didn't get a response. I began to panic as I stumbled out of bed and went for where I knew the light switch to be, running my hand along the wall until I found it. When the light flickered on, the room was empty.

_He was gone_.

A sob escaped as my back hit the wall and I sunk down into the corner of the room. Where was he? Had he gone to _them_? Why had he left without telling me? I curled into a ball when the questions remained unanswered.

_I didn't even say goodnight to him_.

The ticking of the clock was in my head, over and over, minute after minute. I was too scared to look at it, though, for fear of what I would see – the early hour and the length of time he'd been gone.

Why hadn't he told me he was going? I didn't want to think about it, but the otherwise silent room made it impossible to do anything else. Now my initial hysteria had passed, I could rationalise that Jasper would come back. After everything, there was no way he'd just leave me here.

The Volturi wouldn't let him, at any rate.

But that didn't explain where he'd gone at…I chanced a glance at the clock…two in the morning. There was only one place someone who didn't sleep could go – to _them_. I had to bow my head against my knees when the thought of Jasper going to Volterra was scaring me more than waking up to find him gone.

_Please, Jasper, please come back_.

* * *

My head shot up when I heard a key turn in the lock, my neck cricking. The clock said it was two forty-three. My anxiety returned as the door opened, then came rushing out as Jasper stepped in. When his gaze sought me out immediately, I nearly started crying again. He was kneeling in front of me within a second, concern tingeing the gold in his eyes.

"W-where did you go?" I asked, trying to control the stammering of my voice but failing miserably.

"To hunt," he replied, quiet. I think I caught a hint of regret, but my mind couldn't process it. "I was certain I'd be back before you woke up. I'm sorry, Angela, I should have told you."

_He was out hunting_. Why hadn't that crossed my mind? He'd done it so many times before; I should have realised…

"I thought…I thou-" A sob tore through me and I knew I was crying again. There was no doubting the hysteria had returned. "I thought you'd gone to t-them."

I broke down as he edged closer and cradled me against his chest. My fingers tangled into his shirt, gripping the collar as my tears soaked through. _Please don't go_. _Please don't_. _Please_. I think I said it aloud, but I couldn't be sure. All I could hear was his broken mantra, his lips in my hair.

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry_.

The next thing I knew, he'd lifted me off the ground and a deep fog of lethargy was settling over me, making my eyes droop against their will. I fought to keep them open, to stay with him, but I couldn't fight it for much longer.

"Please don't leave me," I managed to get out, but each word was punctuated as a slur, and all I could go was struggle not to let go of him. Jasper placed me down on the bed, lifting the covers over me. He easily pried my fingers away from his shirt, the fog rendering me unable to protest as I reluctantly allowed my eyes to close.

I think he trailed his finger across my cheek.

* * *

Things were different when I woke for the third time that night. I didn't open my eyes; all I could see was darkness beyond my closed eyelids, and I didn't dare open them in case the same fear latched onto me.

Yet as the seconds trickled by, I sensed something familiar…something stopping that fear from taking hold. It was a certain smell – the smell of _him_, _Jasper_. It brought me out and made me open my eyes. What I saw made any underlying tension disperse.

He was lying beside me, close enough to touch without the need to move. I was now lying in the middle of the bed, curled on my side. My eyes closed for a brief moment as I recalled waking up and fighting, again, to stay awake. Cold hands had stopped my battle with the bed sheet as I tried to escape it…that would explain its absence.

When I opened them again, I looked up. His hands rested on his stomach, his eyes closed. If I didn't know better, I would've said he was asleep. But he was awake, and he knew _I _was awake. I didn't want to break the silence, though. It was comfortable, and given everything that happened, comfort like that wasn't easy to come by.

My gaze settled on his arm, instead. The sleeve was partially rolled down, giving me access to the pale column of his wrist. I moved without thinking. If my touch surprised him, he didn't show it. Nor did he pull away.

There was a faint texture to his otherwise smooth skin, just as I'd seen back in England. I couldn't make them out in the darkness, so I used my fingers to explore, pushing his sleeve down as far as it would go. His fingers twitched when I traced what seemed the most prominent scar.

"Did other vampires do this to you?" I asked into the silence.

"Yes," he replied eventually. "Does that scare you?"

I shifted so I could see him, only to find he'd done the same. "Should it?"

His chest fell as he let out a sigh and turned back to the ceiling. "If you could see them properly, it would."

Somehow, I didn't quite believe him. I'd seen scars in my time; I'd seen a lot which somebody else had caused. What made Jasper's scars any difference to those? Even so, I adjusted his sleeve into its original position. His scars were a tough subject, no matter the company.

That thought reminded me of something he'd told me on the transatlantic flight. Jasper hadn't lingered on the details, but the Volturi leader had used his scars against him. To other vampires, it seemed his scars were the most prominent features, and that only served to make me both sad and angry that someone would use them in the manner the Volturi had.

His question broke me from my thoughts. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I answered automatically. It was a stupid lie, but I couldn't tell him, and all he did was sigh once again as the word left my lips.

"You're lying."

I looked up at his declaration. He stared back, his eyes challenging me to disagree. I couldn't. I couldn't do much of anything because this was the first time he was calling me out on something like this, something that included how I was _feeling_. Before, he always used to stare and finally look away.

"Angela…there's something I haven't told you about myself," he said hesitantly. I held my breath automatically, not knowing where he was going. "Remember I told you about special abilities? Well…they vary, and not everyone has one."

I swallowed heavily, realisation dawning. "You have an ability, don't you?"

My stomach dropped when he nodded, sending my mind reeling. He had an ability this whole time…but what was it?

"I'm an empath," he finally admitted quietly. "It means I can feel the emotions of those around me. I can also manipulate them."

I had to look away to fully process the new information. He could _feel_ people's emotions? Did that mean he…he could feel mine now? He could feel what I felt, every minute of every day? But…how, how could he live with something like that? The thought completely confounded me.

"Can you ever turn it off?"

"No." There was a hint of something in his voice I couldn't quite place, and I wondered whether he wished he _could_ switch it off. "I live in a climate of emotions every day; sometimes from you alone."

Though it wasn't his intention, the latter comment sent a wave of embarrassment crashing through me. When I remembered he could feel exactly what I did, it made me even more self-conscious.

"Please don't be embarrassed," he said in a gentle voice. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't dare meet them.

I thought of the first question that came to mind as a method of distraction. "Do you manipulate emotions often?"

"Only when I think it's necessary."

I pondered his response for a moment, feeling hesitant to ask my next question. "Have you manipulated mine before?"

"Yes." His answer was simple, quick, and surprisingly _unsurprising_. While he must have felt my acceptance, he still sought to explain himself. "But only a few times, I promise. I don't relish the thought of you feeling something I've forced onto you. I'm sure you've felt the difference, just not had an explanation for it before now."

He was right. "Our first day in Seattle?"

"It was the only way I could ensure your safety," he said solemnly. I instantly cursed myself for bringing up that day. It felt like such a long time ago now, but I still hadn't forgiven myself for the way I'd acted.

I should have thought of another circumstance, but as I wracked my brains to think of another situation similar, all I could think about was last night. Remembering how scared I was, I couldn't begin to imagine the nightmare it must have been for Jasper, and it suddenly made me feel even worse. So much so, that I felt the need to apologise.

"Don't," he replied almost immediately. "Taking into account everything I told you, it was really only a matter of time before it got the better of you. All things considered, you've held it together pretty good prior to last night."

This time, I felt it was my turn to do some explaining. "I was so scared when I woke up alone…it never even crossed my mind you would be hunting. All I could think was you'd gone to _them _on your own." I paused, fraying the tassel on my pyjama bottoms. "I couldn't bear the thought."

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I did it not only to compose myself, but to stop Jasper from feeling he had to respond. What was there for him to say? We would be with them by the end of the day. Or sooner.

"Can you tell me about them?" I asked with only a slight waver. "So I can prepare myself."

"Angela…"

I couldn't decipher whether that voice was for our previous topic, or whether he just didn't want to talk about the Volturi. It didn't matter. I wanted to – I _needed_ to know something about the people, if you could even call them that, I was giving myself to.

"Please, Jasper," I whispered as I sat up and crossed my legs. I had to see his face. He was hesitant, but finally I saw the resignation in his eyes and he pulled himself up to sit in front of me.

"If it gets too much, tell me."

I nodded once and waited for him to begin. We both knew he'd know if it was getting too much to me even before I did. His ability would forewarn him of that.

It took another minute for Jasper to collect himself, but at last, he began. He told me when he first heard of the Volturi, he was still only new to this vampire life. At the time, he hadn't known much, but it was common knowledge that, if you got too noisy, they would come to silence you.

He kept the details of his past to a minimum and I didn't ask him to expand. Like his scars, they were a tough subject. Giving everything I knew, I was sure the two were interlinked. It didn't surprise me when he skipped forward to when he was with the Cullens. Also unsurprising, was to find out Carlisle was the one who told him about the Volturi in more detail.

Jasper had paused there, almost to say, _here's your chance to back out, take it_. I remained resolute; he hadn't told me much of what I didn't already know, and that was in no way enough for me to face them with.

When he gradually continued, though, it wasn't hard to understand why he'd provided a way out. The things he said were mind blowing. The Volturi were centuries old, made up of three 'brothers', their wives and a mass of guards, though only the former and a number of the latter would be present for us.

Aro, the mind reading leader, was something of a collector, taking in talented vampires whose abilities intrigued him. Jasper hesitated for a moment before admitting Aro had offered him a place in his coven instead of what he requested. One look at his face told me all I needed to know about his response.

Jasper would rather die than become one of them. The thought made me shudder and Jasper very nearly used it as an excuse to stop before I noticed and told him to keep going.

It seemed the majority of Aro's coven was talented in some way or another, his guards especially. Aside from reading mind, there was another who could cause indescribable pain, another who could eradicate every physical sense altogether and even one who could act as a mental shield to oncoming attackers.

He didn't point out what any of them looked like, nor did he tell me every single power they possessed, and for that, I was grateful. I didn't want to know which one could cause me unimaginable pain with the blink of an eye, and if there were people he wasn't telling me about at all, there had to be a reason behind it. I trusted him enough that I didn't ask him to tell me.

It was when the conversation seemed to be winding down that he told me of a guard Carlisle hadn't known about.

Lucius.

"My powers had faded the moment I entered their chamber. I couldn't explain it when all I could feel was my own emotions. I barely recognised them." His eyes were distant and I wondered where his last remark had taken him. "It only started making sense after Aro explained his most recent find."

Since telling me about his ability the hour before, I'd found it hard to imagine what it must feel like to be bombarded with other people's emotions. Somehow, though, it was easier to envision the strangeness of them suddenly disappearing.

"If you could, do you think you would want to stay like that? Without your ability, I mean."

"I've thought about that a lot since it happened," he said, still not looking at me. He focused on his hands instead. "I've spent decades living with a constant hum of emotions that didn't belong to me. It's so hard sometimes, but…when it was gone, it made me realise how much I'd come to depend on it. If all I felt was…"

A deep crease formed on his brow as he trailed off. He was struggling with his words, with _this_ so much, and it dawned on me he probably hadn't ever admitted this to anyone before. When he finally looked up, there was no barriers, no walls. His eyes were an open door.

"If you could feel what I feel, Angela…without her…"

The looks of agony in his eyes, the lines of pain on his face…if he was human, he would have been crying. Like many times before, my heart went out to him as he closed his eyes tight. I quickly placed my hand over his, using it as something for him to cling to. It was a symbol, I realised, of our connection.

I could feel the tension running through his clenched hand, but I forced it away and thought of how much strength I saw in him, even when everything about his demeanour said he thought the complete opposite.

Minutes passed, and gradually I felt the tension easing. I didn't move, though, until I saw it ease from his shoulders, too. He didn't open his eyes when I pulled my hand back, but he turned when I lay on my side, curling the pillow beneath me.

Maybe a minute went by before Jasper settled beside me, resuming his former position of staring up at the ceiling. I was comforted by that, by our closeness. I needed that comfort for what I was about to ask him.

"Jasper, are they going to kill me?" I asked, my voice being barely above a whisper. "Will they kill me because I know of their existence?"

He looked at me, and for a second or two, it was almost as though he didn't quite know how to respond.

"That wasn't part of the deal."

I swallowed over the lump in my throat. I could feel the ball of dread in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't want him to feel it, too. It was enough that we could both hear the uncertainty in his words. He hadn't even answered my question. A part of me didn't want him to, but the other needed to know.

The wording was different when I asked again. "Do you think they will kill me?"

This time, it took him longer to respond. The uncertainty was in his eyes now as he mimicked me and rolled onto his side, bringing us even closer together. His voice was even quieter than mine when he finally answered.

"I won't let them."

I drew in a juddering breath and nodded. We both knew he was so very small compared to the enormity of what we were up again, and there was every chance it would happen anyway. I could see the truth in his eyes, yet he didn't tell me. If there was one thing I had left, though, it was that I believed in him. I trusted he would protect me as much as he could, and that was exactly what I focused on.

In a way, I think he was protecting me, even now. That notion made me feel better, and I tried to show that in my emotions as I closed my eyes.

I didn't feel him look away.

The silence that fell over us was surprisingly comfortable, and for a while, we lay in the partial light beside one another. It was a little while later that Jasper broke the silence.

"Do you want to go somewhere?"

I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. "Do you have someplace in mind?"

"Yes." He looked towards the window. "I do, but I would have to carry you for the last part. If you're not comfortable with that, we could wait here instead."

"I don't mind," I replied a little too quickly. "What would we be waiting for?"

He seemed to hesitate for only a second. "The sunrise."

Realisation dawned on me instantly. It wasn't so much _somewhere _to go, as _something_ for me to see. He was going to show me what happened in the sunlight.

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**A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter, especially when she woke up to an empty room. Had to happen. Let me know what you think! Jasper's sparkle appears in the next chapter. *grins* The thought of Angela asking him if he sparkles was too good an opportunity to miss.**

**_Non me ne vado fino a che non mi procuri un'altra auto _ - _I'm not leaving until you get me another car_. Not important, of course, I just wanted some Italian ;) Thanks to Cordelia85 on twitter for helping me out with the translation.**

**Teasers go out to reviewers. (I swear I only hit 200 a few chapters ago. You crazy bunch. *hugs*) Talking of reviews, I'd like to get your opinion on something. I'm asking early because I don't always get a response, lol.**

**Do you remember the alternate take I wrote called _Collateral_? Well, it's coming up (Chapter 21), and I wanted to see how you guys think it should be posted. Would you prefer it to appear after I've posted the real chapter 21? Or should I wait until BoaL is over (which will be a long time, jsyk) and post it then?**

**If I do post after 21 is out, do I take a break from _this _story until all three parts have been uploaded? Or alternate between the two? For now, the posting schedule for BoaL is every two weeks. The three parts of Collateral will be posted a week apart (or less).**

**So yeah, let me know! I hope that made sense…**


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N: Chapter 20!**

**So, who wants to see Jasper in the sunlight? *cough*It would be nice if he was shirtless*cough***

**My usual thanks go out to my readers and idealskeptic for being truly awesome. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Sunlight**

I was certain he could feel my anticipation, but he didn't show it as we gathered our things and left the room. He suddenly seemed nervous. When Jasper returned our key to the vacant front desk, I knew we weren't coming back. It confirmed when he left our bags in the car.

When he was ready, he led me through the dark streets. I didn't know where he was going, but I followed him until the road soon led us to the outskirts of the small village. We were the only ones in sight when Jasper came to a stop.

"This is where I carry you," he said simply. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, though a little uncertain. In the end, I barely had time to worry how he was going to pick me up before the ground was gone below me.

"You might want to tuck your head in," he went on. "I don't want you to hurt yourself once I start moving."

I didn't say a word as I leant my head against his shoulder, my forehead brushing the very edges of his hair. After a second of checking I was settled, he was off. I gasped at the speed, hardly expecting it. He was flying along, the scenery rushing by us in a blur. I could barely get a handle on it.

Not even a minute later, though, he came to a stop. I looked around as far as I could, but couldn't quite grasp why he'd chosen this spot. We were nearing the top of a hill overlooking the village below, but in the darkness, I couldn't make out much besides the uneven ground around us.

If he let me down, I wouldn't move for fear I'd lose my footing and tumble down to the bottom. Jasper wouldn't let that happen, of course, but after a short time, he didn't move. He didn't allow my thoughts to linger.

"I need to jump the last part."

"Jump?" I echoed, my eyes widening.

"If you close your eyes you'll barely feel it, I promise," he assured me as his grip tightened, holding me a little closer so that I was looking over his shoulder. I shifted, feeling a little more secure as I leant into him. The position meant my lips were only inches from his neck.

"Ready?" he asked; his voice so close. I nodded, not being able to speak as I gripped the collar of his shirt. Though he told me to close my eyes, I kept them open, not wanting to miss a thing.

He took a few steps back, and then leapt forward, pushing up from the ground. He was right to say I'd barely feel it, but the sudden movement I saw made me jolt and hold onto him tighter.

When we were safely on the ground, he started walking at a human pace. A minute later, he reached his destination and lowered my feet to the ground. As he kept his hands on my waist a moment longer, I found my eyes drawn to the scar I'd first seen in the library all those weeks ago.

From this close, I could only just make it out, but without the light shining on it, the scar was nothing but a faint outline. Jasper took a step back when he was sure I was stable on my feet, and I had to drag my eyes away. I couldn't tell whether he'd moved because of my inquisitiveness.

The sky was gradually getting lighter, showing more and more of the village below. I could tell why he'd brought me here. When the sun was up, the view would be astounding, though I was certain I'd barely pay attention to it with Jasper beside me.

"How did you find this place?" I asked.

"I needed someplace to think and this happened to be where I found myself." He looked around, his eyes lingering. "I was thinking about you, at the time."

My head shot in his direction. _Me_? "You were here yesterday?"

Once again, he hesitated. "No. It was after Aro instructed me to track you down. I was trying to work out whether to do it or not." His expression was distant again as I looked away. "I didn't want to involve you, but it was mainly for a far more selfish reason than what it would do to you."

For a long while, he didn't continue. I wanted to prompt him, but I didn't dare. The look on his face made me hold my tongue. He was so deep in thought…troubled by whatever he had to say. Finally, he spoke.

"I didn't want to involve you because I knew it would take even longer. At the time, I just wanted to die."

I felt the familiar sinking feeling in my chest at his words. It was only when I replayed them did it dawn on me he'd spoken in the past tense. At the time. _At the time_.

"You say that like you've changed your mind," I said, hesitant. I held my breath when he didn't look at me.

_Please, Jasper. Please tell me you have_.

I would find a way to cope without him if he told me he'd changed his mind and was returning to his family. I would let him walk away if I knew he was going to be safe because the knowledge that he was out there, _alive_, was better than knowing he was gone.

But he still didn't look at me.

Across the horizon, light started to crack through. I looked towards it; soon it would be even higher and I'd see what he wanted me to. A distraction. A diversion from our current topic.

It was as though he'd timed it.

My eyes closed so I could block him out, just for a moment. I should have known he wouldn't answer me properly. He never did. In his eyes, he'd probably said too much already. The sun was exactly what he needed to change the subject.

I felt the sun hit my face just as his quiet voice reached me. "Angela…"

I kept my eyes closed for just a moment longer as I tried to decipher his tone. He sounded cautious, shy, almost, and as I finally opened my eyes to look at him, I knew it had nothing to do with the topic we just dropped.

There were no words to describe Jasper in the sunlight. For a couple of beats, all I could do was stare. His description the day before suddenly made perfect sense. The reaction had exactly prismatic qualities; I hadn't been far off in saying it was like diamonds, though _sparkle_ wasn't right at all.

I moved to take a closer look, ever conscious of the stiff set of his shoulders. I was well aware of the implications that came with exposing himself like this; the last thing I wanted was to push him too far, but my fascination was preventing me from holding back completely as I noticed a slight change where the sun hit his neck.

It looked different, as if something was…off. As though the diamonds were cracked, and not the smooth glimmer I could see everywhere else. It took me a moment to make the connection with broken glass. I glanced down at his arm, slowly piecing my theory together. If I was right, scars were making his skin react differently.

"Can I look at your arm?" I asked quietly. He didn't look away as he nodded. His eyes were wary, but to my relief, the stiffness in his shoulders seemed to ease as I rolled up his sleeve and delicately held his arm in my hands. I didn't need to compare it with his neck to know I was right.

I glanced up to see the wariness was gone now, too. "You have scars here…on your arm and neck?"

"Yes," he responded, everything about it simple, as though he'd read my thoughts and was expecting it. "You can see the difference, can't you?"

My fingers ghosted across his neck as I nodded my confirmation. They were trembling, but I didn't pull them away. I wanted to know if it felt different, like his arm had when I'd trailed my finger across it earlier. Though the change on his arm was more obvious, there was an area of his neck that seemed almost _precise_.

It was the same scar I'd been seeing all along.

I could _feel _it beneath my fingertips, like a faint groove in his skin. I followed its path, only stopping when I reached the collar of his shirt. All I wanted to do was push it aside and keep going to see just how far down it went. But I couldn't because he was still staring at me, and I was certain he hadn't breathed since I stepped closer.

"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked, pulling back. His hand moved so quickly I barely had time to react before it was wrapped around mine. I'd scarcely moved a centimetre from his neck.

"No…it's not that." He stumbled over his words, looking away for the first time since I opened mine. I waited patiently for him to find the right expression. Finally, he did. "It's just you're the first person I've really shown this to."

_The first_? "What about your family? They've never seen you in sunlight?"

"They've all seen it, some way or another, but I always tried to avoid it, if I could," he said, distant. "It made me uncomfortable when they looked at me in the sunlight. Except Alice."

My gaze flickered to his neck, to the biggest difference. "Was it because your skin reacted differently to theirs?" I asked without thinking. It was the only explanation I could come up with.

He smiled weakly. "They already knew how different I was."

As he finished, I got the distinct impression he wasn't going to tell me the truth. Maybe he didn't want to admit to it…or maybe he didn't even know himself. Whatever it was, it didn't matter, not to me.

He already said I didn't make him-

My thoughts trailed off as I flashed back to our joined hands. He'd somehow moved them back to his neck without me realising. My finger twitched. He said I hadn't made him uncomfortable, yet he only ever felt at ease around Alice...had he lied to me?

"Why are you confused?"

I slowly looked at him, not knowing what to do. Did I ask? Did I get him to clarify, knowing it would ruin the moment if he really had lied? _But_, when would I get another chance to ask? I wouldn't…

"You said it made you uncomfortable when anyone except Alice looked at you in the sunlight…" I swallowed over my suddenly dry throat. "But when I asked if I made you uncomfortable, you said you weren't."

His gaze was unwavering, looking deeper than before as he said, "I know."

I felt my heart constrict as I worked out what those two words meant. He was comfortable, comfortable enough to show himself to me, something he hadn't been able to do with anyone bar Alice. I knew my feelings for him were ruling me, but I had no control as I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Jasper," I whispered as I leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. As I pulled back, he moved with me. The change was so slow I barely caught it, but one moment we were cheek to cheek, and then suddenly we were face to face. His lips were inches away, and I was frozen, unable to do anything but stare as he stared back.

My pulse was strumming a rapid beat as the seconds went by and he still didn't move. I wanted to abridge the gap between us; I wanted _him_ to do it. But he wouldn't, he couldn't, and I felt my heart sink to know if I tried to kiss him again, it would ruin the past few hours we'd spent together.

I couldn't stand the thought of him rejecting me again, not so close to the end.

My feet moved on their own accord, pulling me away from him. I felt his eyes on me as I turned my back and wandered towards a clear patch of grass. I sat down, leaning against the low, natural rock wall. When I finally found the courage to look at him again, he was still in the same position, staring.

As I met his gaze, he finally snapped out of it and looked out towards the horizon. The sight of him outlined against the sky was truly breathtaking. I absorbed as much of it as I could until he returned to me. When he sat down, we were so close our legs touched.

_Focus on something else, Angela. Don't let your feelings spoil this_.

There was only one downfall of focusing on something besides Jasper. Up here, on a day like this, there _was_ nothing to focus on beside him and the Volturi. Against my better judgement, I started to scan the area before me, looking for the city of Volterra.

"Can you see them from here?" I asked when I came up with nothing but distant villages I couldn't make out.

He grasped what I meant immediately. "They're on the opposite side."

"Good." I nodded once and worked up the nerve to ask what he had planned. I was almost too afraid to ask. "Are we going to them?"

I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eye. When he didn't answer, I knew he was waiting for me to look at him. He was closer than I first thought when I turned, but the meaning in his eyes made me overlook it.

"I'm never going to lead you into that place," he said, his voice just as serious. "Not until I have to and they are the ones leading _me_. I know I've taken you this far, but I'd never forgive myself for walking you in sooner than we have to. No, we're not going anywhere; they'll find _us_."

His words warmed me more than I thought possible. "But what if it takes days?" _What would we do_?

The warmth slipped away as quickly as it formed when he let out a sigh. "It won't be," he told me jadedly, almost as though he wished it wasn't true… "They have eyes everywhere; they'll know we're here. It'll be a matter of hours."

There was a definite hint of reluctance in his voice, and I knew I was right. _But why_? Did he…did he not want this to happen? _But_… I swallowed heavily, needing yet another distraction. I couldn't think of this, of the possibilities, not when I knew it was going to happen regardless.

A distraction came as the sun rose higher and reflected off Jasper once again. My finger was running the length of his forearm before I could stop myself. I felt the same twinge in my stomach when, instead of pulling away, he twisted his arm so it trailed along the inside of his wrist.

I continued my gentle examination for what seemed hours, tracing the lines of his frozen veins and into his palm. My fascination returned every time my hand blocked the sun and his skin was restored to its regular paleness. At times, it even refracted onto my own.

For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to entertain the thought of standing beside him, my pale skin shimmering in the morning sun.

"Can you feel it, when you're in the sun?" I asked.

"We only feel the sunlight, not how it affects us," he replied, pulling his eyes away from where they'd been watching my fingers explore.

I moved my hand in line with his. "Is it warm?"

His gaze flickered to our hands as he asked, "The sunlight?" before astounding me by threading his fingers through mine. All I could do was nod, unable to verbalise a response.

It didn't surprise me when he shook his head. To be honest, I hadn't expected him to say otherwise. His hands rivalled the temperature of ice, so what could the sun possibly do? From that far away, the gentle heat I could feel was just a mere light to him.

From there, I soon began to wonder how _my_ hand felt to him. Did the warmth of my palm do anything to the coolness of his?

"I'm sorry, I know my hand must be very cold for you," he said, misinterpreting the way I used my free hand to test how warm my palm felt as I pressed it to the one entangled with his. Yet he didn't let go.

"I don't mind," I answered honestly, tightening my fingers around his. I wasn't letting go until I had to. "I was actually thinking what it felt like for _you_."

"It's a lot warmer than I'd have expected it to be," he replied. In that moment, I couldn't explain why his admittance meant so much to me. Surprisingly, though, I felt a wave of tranquillity wash over me. When I questioned him on it, I noticed his eyes were closed and he had that small smile I'd seen only a few times before.

"I thought you wanted to know how it feels."

His soothing response brought tears to my eyes. After everything he'd been through, and everything I'd seen, my touch could make him feel like _this_. I couldn't describe the way it made _me_ feel, and I wondered whether my reaction was just as undecipherable for Jasper.

I was certain he could sense how much it meant to me, so I merely gave his hand a gentle squeeze. In any case, I couldn't find my voice to verbalise it. When I looked at him a few minutes later, though, the feeling subsided a little. I watched him carefully for another minute, but nothing changed because he wasn't breathing.

"Jasper?"

He opened his eyes. They were the same golden colour they'd been earlier, but from my peripheral vision, I still couldn't detect movement. Was our close proximity getting to be too much for him?

"If you need me to give you some space, tell me, okay?" _I don't want you to sit here and suffer because of me_.

For once, he looked truly perplexed. "Why would I need space?"

I looked down again. His chest wasn't moving up and down, though I was sure he'd inhaled to speak. "It's just…you're not breathing, and usually that means you're thirsty or you're too close to someone."

_Oh_, his eyes said, _you noticed that_.

"You're right about the first part, at least," he said, studying me. "But I'm not thirsty, and even if I was, I wouldn't stay here and put you in danger like that."

He'd answered my question, but created a lot more. Jasper sensed that and continued a moment later.

"I can smell them; it's why I'm not breathing." He glanced around, seeing something I couldn't. "It's actually both easier and harder to breathe right now. In some sense, the air is clean because it's just you and me up here."

I waited for the '_but'_ in his sentence, yet it didn't come. Jasper merely sat there, looking away. At first, I thought maybe he couldn't find the right words, but when he remained silent, I knew that wasn't the case. I'd seen him struggle with his words before, but it wasn't like this. _He_ wasn't like this.

While I waited, I battled with myself whether or not I should ask. Eventually I decided to say it. I wouldn't have another opportunity like this. This time, though he clearly faltered, I knew he was going to tell me.

"Because I can smell them, all I can think about is what I've led you into."

Everything about his response saddened me. "Jasper, I chose to come with you."

"Yes, but you don't deserve this." The despondent look on his face made me feel even worse. I knew why he was saying this, but that didn't make it any easier to see him torment himself over it. "While you were sleeping, I kept thinking what you would have done had I been honest from the start and not led you into this blind."

I used his silence to think about it, to _really_ think about it. What would I have done if he told me from the start that Alice was dead and he needed me to be the catalyst in finding his way back to her? Would I have sent him away? Would I have told him I couldn't, _wouldn't_ help him?

When asking myself those questions, there was only one answer.

"I'd still have gone with you," I told him in a quiet voice, looking down. I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn't look at him again. "Even if you'd told me everything from the start, it wouldn't change the fact I'm here."

"Why would you do that for me?" he asked with sadness in his voice. Not because he doubted me, but because he questioned himself, his self worth.

For just a moment, I wished he could see what I saw when I looked at him because my response, though hard to articulate, wasn't hard to understand. I would have gone with him because the gap he filled inside my chest was something I couldn't let go of. The loneliness I'd felt after my parents died was slowly fading now I was with him.

He was giving me purpose instead of following the same routine day in, day out. Back then and even more now, I knew I couldn't just let him walk away from me. At least, not until I knew he was happy and _alive_, and that somehow, I'd helped him as he'd helped me.

The hard part was actually telling him. It was just another thing I couldn't do. He could feel it, though, and that was why I had to turn away. Even seeing him in my peripheral vision was too much.

How could I tell him the main reason was that I loved him?

"Don't hide from me, Angela." His voice was gentle and suddenly a lot closer now I couldn't see him. Though I tried to force my feelings away, I could feel him drawing me back in. Jasper's plea finally broke me.

"Please…"

I couldn't deny him.

When I found the courage, I saw my conflict reflected in his eyes. Something deep within me fought to look away again, but the soft pattern his thumb was tracing against my hand was soothing and slowly calming my rampant emotions.

The more I tried to force them away, the more prominent and harder to ignore they became, so I worked to relax myself. He would feel it no matter what, anyhow. That was the moment I let it out; whatever I was feeling, I stopped trying to be in control of it. I felt truly vulnerable before him, but my trust for him was so high that I couldn't find it within myself to care.

As he closed his eyes again, I knew right away that there was nothing I would ever want more than him.

I mimicked his actions and leant against him, storing the moment and the sensation of him beside me to memory. With my eyes closed, I was lulled into a sense of peace, and I could almost believe that nothing was wrong.

Almost.

The peace was shattered as Jasper tensed. I opened my eyes and half turned to him. He was staring ahead, alert, the grip on my hand a little too tight for comfort. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but suddenly I was too scared.

"They're here."

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**A/N: I have a feeling there's going to be some mixed reactions to this…but we'll see. Let me know what you think! Teasers go out in review replies.**

**I've decided I'll post Collateral over a span of two weeks between chapter 21 and 22. It will be its 'own story' so add me to your author alerts so you'll be notified when part one is available.**


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N: Chapter 21!**

**I know I thank idealskeptic every update, but this time _thank you_ isn't enough. I needed some help with this chapter and the next, and she was lovely enough to spend three hours listening to be ramble on. Not sure what I would have done without her.**

**RaindropSoup? I know you've been waiting for him. I give you Demetri.**

**EEEEK, I'm now dropping this chapter and running.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

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**Chapter Twenty-One: Volterra**

Jasper was up and standing in front of me in an instant. He was partially blocking my view, but even so, I couldn't see them. Wherever they were, whatever had tipped him off, it was invisible to my human senses. I could feel the familiar urge, the one ruled by fear that came with wanting to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I wanted to. I wanted to grab Jasper and run because I wasn't prepared for this.

_But this isn't about you, Angela_.

My eyes closed. When they opened a moment later, I knew what I had to do. Jasper had promised to protect me with all he had, and my job was to stand at his side, to be strong for us, for _him_, and not make it any harder than it already was. Most of all, I didn't want to give _them_ the benefit of knowing I was just another human to them, weak, fragile and scared.

I stood up and moved to stand beside him. As he angled his body to shield mine, I knew there was nowhere else for me to be than here with Jasper. From my added height, I was suddenly able to see what Jasper could see.

There were two approaching…men, dressed head to toe in dark cloaks, one being darker than the other. The material trailed around their feet, making it seem as thought they were gliding. Everything about their presence was ominous. The focal point was the sheer size of the man on the left. Even from here, he easily surpassed Jasper in both height and weight.

I unconsciously moved closer to Jasper as the pair came to a stop in the same place Jasper and I had been standing earlier. With their hoods up, I could barely make out their faces.

The sun disappeared behind the clouds, and Jasper's skin returned to normal. For a moment, our combined silence was the loudest thing there. Until it was broken.

"Hiding from us, were you?" the smaller of the two asked in a drawling cadence I didn't recognise.

"Hardly." Similar to the man who'd just spoken, Jasper's tone was unrecognisable. Even Jenks had received something more civil. "If I wanted to hide, I would be a thousand miles from here."

Looking closer, I caught a flicker of arrogance in his partially shrouded smirk. "I'd still find you."

I swallowed heavily. Something told me he was telling the truth. I wasn't quite sure how he could find us, but I knew he would if we ran. The assertiveness in his voice was proof to that. From his behaviour so far, I silently wondered whether he was the same one to escort Jasper the first time he was hear.

Jasper's low warning brought me back. "I wouldn't be alone."

The response was so quick I couldn't keep up. The man tried to advance, but his silent friend shot out a restraining hand against his shoulder. From where I stood, the gesture looked almost relaxed, but appearances were deceiving. I was almost one hundred percent certain the strength behind it was more than I could grasp.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the tendons in Jasper's neck tighten. Everything about his stance was tense as his body arched into a more defensive stance. The difference was minute, but there was no questioning the pair noticed.

The whole thing had taken barely two seconds.

"Is that a threat, _boy_?"

Jasper snarled at the derogatory term. The two stared each other down, tension crackling in the air. The man's hood had slipped a little, revealing a face I wouldn't have expected. He was young – probably no older than I was. Though I'd known about the red irises, I was still taken aback by their vividness.

The voice in the back of my mind told me to look away. He'd yet to tear his gaze from Jasper's, so there was no way he could have seen my inspection. But then again, it was as though they hadn't acknowledged my presence at all.

Yet.

"Come now," the hulking figure said in an eerily light manner. "We don't want to start anything here. Why deprive the others of some fun?"

He loosened his grip and let his cohort go. For a beat they both straightened, but remained fixed on Jasper. Then suddenly he looked at me, the young one. I shrunk back involuntarily, fighting the same instinct as earlier. This time, I didn't look away immediately. He quirked an eyebrow and his attention flickered to my right.

"Aro's been waiting for you," he said. "Your lack of haste brings to question your desire to not only get the job done, but to have your demands fulfilled. Don't tell me you've changed your mind?"

I looked to Jasper for his response. While saying he _had_ would answer my earlier question, it was obvious it wouldn't mean we could leave. They'd still want to see us, and I dreaded to think what Aro would say to find Jasper had wasted their time. On the other hand, I didn't want to hear him say he hadn't, either.

Fortunately, Jasper didn't answer at all.

"Why don't we let Aro find out the answer to that particular question?" the taller said. I'd still yet to see his face clearly. The other hummed his agreement, but paused again as he went to turn away.

"It may be prudent for you to carry...her-" he glanced at me, his gaze giving me the once over as though he couldn't quite find the word to describe me, "-we wouldn't want an accident to occur, would we?"

I bristled at his statement, not liking the way he'd addressed me in both tone of voice and appraisal. There was no doubting he was the same person Jasper had encountered when he first arrived in Volterra. The arrogance in his voice was enough to anger the both of us.

With anger, came confidence.

"My name is _Angela_," I stated directly, feeling a burst of satisfaction as surprise flickered across his face. He hadn't expected me to speak, let alone answer him back.

"I know who you are," he replied, bored, though contrary to his uninterested demeanour, he didn't look away. Soon enough I felt my poise slipping under his intense scrutiny.

"Then use it." My hand found Jasper as I felt him feed me a small burst of confidence. I grazed the small of his back to show I appreciated the help. "I'm _human_, not a worthless entity, so don't treat me like one."

He laughed once. "You're _limited_. To me, that _is_ worthless."

This time, I didn't need Jasper's help. I was running on adrenaline alone. "Physically, maybe, but does it make me limited that I'm not a murderer? That I don't have the urge to kill people for my own sustenance? Being human is _not_ limited."

The man's eyes narrowed. "We'll see."

His unwavering stare was supposed to intimidate me, I was certain…and it did, but I raised my chin defiantly and hoped my expression didn't reveal a thing. Seconds later, he inclined his head and retreated. The pair sent Jasper a pointed look before departing the way they came. Neither of them turned to make sure we followed; they already knew there was nowhere else for us to go.

The abhorrence in Jasper's eyes faded when he turned to me, quickly replaced with the same despondency from earlier.

_Don't do that_, I thought as I sought out the firm grip of his hand. Words were ineffective now, so I let my emotions do the talking for me. _You're not alone, Jasper, and whatever happens, I don't blame you_. I focused on those words, letting their meaning flow through me in hope it would reflect what I wanted it to.

Whether it did, I couldn't tell, and soon after Jasper had to drop my hand so he could lift me into his arms. Even at a human pace, we caught up to them within a minute. Though nothing came between me and the two vampires before us, I felt safer in Jasper's arm than I would have expected.

The passageway they led us into was pitch-black. So much so, I could barely make out Jasper's face, let alone the two silent figures walking ahead of me. In the end, I tried my best to block them out completely and focus on Jasper alone. I leant against his shoulder and let the hand around his neck wander a little higher to his hairline. The action was small, but it was enough for me to centre on.

We'd been moving for maybe three minutes when I felt Jasper slow down. I sat up, my fingers pausing in their idle patterns. I strained to hear something new, but there was nothing, nor were there any traces of light. If he'd slowed down for a reason, it wasn't because we were nearing out destination.

It was a few seconds after that I got my answer.

I didn't jump as he pressed his lips to my forehead; the only sound was a small gasp of air. He didn't move right away and soon I was leaning into him without legible thought, my fingers moving from the back of his neck to the edge of his jaw. My breath was coming in small patches as my gesture made him take things further.

The moment was achingly familiar as we moved together, closer. I felt his nose graze mine, and then his cool breath as it fanned out across my lips. Neither of us moved again, but remained there, hands tight against the other, teetering on the precipice of a kiss…a kiss that wouldn't come, I knew, but somehow the intimacy was more meaningful than the genuine act.

It was a close moment, one I knew we wouldn't have again, not like this. But as I clung to the last seconds with my hand against his cheek, I knew, one way or another, it was appropriate.

Light gradually started to spill into the passage and I began to make out the outline of his face, the curve of his cheekbone…his lips. I finally let my hand slip away as a noise to my left broke through our suspended reverie and reminded me we were not alone. When Jasper straightened, I glanced at the two vampires ahead of us, seemingly oblivious to what happened.

It was relief when the passage widened into a corridor and we were directed to a place to wait.

"You will remain in the foyer until they are ready for you," the younger man said, dropping his hood to reveal perfectly styled, dirty blond hair. Up close, his eyes were all the more intense in the way they watched me. "You know not to stray into areas you are not welcome."

With that, the pair disappeared through the doorway to our right. Jasper set me down on my feet and led me towards the designated waiting area, keeping a hand at the small of my back.

Despite the situation, I still felt warmth rising from my toes and curling through me at the way his gentle touches made me feel.

The first thing I noticed as we entered the foyer was the décor. So obviously centuries old, the furnishings gave it a Baroque impression. The walls were made of aged white stone, the marbled floor matching it. There were columns supporting every wall, rising up to the high ceiling.

I unconsciously pulled away from Jasper as I ventured further into the room to do a full sweep. In the top corners were carvings that were medieval in style. Surrounding them were phrases in what I could only assume was Latin.

Everything about it was a little too clean, a little too cold, and I had to focus on something else. As I did so, my eyes met those of another. Her presence startled me. In my initial scan, I'd failed to notice her sitting in the corner, watching us with shrewd curiosity.

In a moment of madness, I stepped towards her as though to speak, but Jasper caught my hand, tugging on it gently but insistent until I returned to his side.

His wary gaze probed the doors across from us, his heightened senses no doubt picking up what I could not.

"Stay close to me," he finally whispered, his eyes saying far more than his words ever would. He didn't want us to be separated when they returned. I nodded once, understanding maybe more than he realised, for I had the same, almost subliminal urge to feel his presence, to know I could close my eyes, and still know he was right beside me.

In the minutes that passed, my eyes were repeatedly drawn to the girl sitting behind the desk. On inspection, her skin was too dark and youthful to be a vampire. I was certain she was the only other human here.

The longer I looked, the more she seemed to ignore the papers she was writing on. Whenever she would glance between us, her expression would grow more and more prominent every time. She was jealous, but something about her appearance was off, as though it wasn't for the obvious reason.

It took me a moment to pinpoint longing. She wanted something. _Jasper_? No, she looked at him as if he was an object, not a person. It wasn't _who_ he was, but _what _he was, of that I was almost certain. The sudden urge to go over there and slap some sense into the girl was shocking, and I had to divert my gaze again. She was still in my thoughts, though, and I couldn't avoid the questions.

"Does she know she's surrounded by vampires?" I asked in a hushed voice. I already knew the answer from the way she looked at Jasper, but I had to ask, I had to make sure.

He nodded once. "She's too far into the building to be kept in the dark. It's unlikely they would place an unsuspecting human to work in the one place they do not have to hide who they really are."

"But why?" Though I wanted to turn to see if I could find the answer by looking at her, doing so would make it obvious she was the focus of our discussion. "She wants to _join_ them?"

Again, he nodded, and I felt sick at the notion. I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to be a part of _this_.

"Will she?"

"Only if she has something to offer in becoming an immortal," he replied, his lip curling in disgust. I tried not to think what would happened if she didn't. "I can feel it, the longing to become one of them."

"She's jealous," I said, thinking back to the way she'd looked at us, at Jasper. His expression told me I was right.

"Yes, but I think she envies the way I interact with you, more than anything," he said. I reflected on the hand at my waist, the subconscious angle of his body towards mine and knew he was right, we both were. "It's the only explanation I can come up with. If it were merely the physical appearance she was after, there would be lust…desire…I don't feel any of those. It's not me she wants."

I shook my head. Her blindness to the truth was unsettling. "She has no idea, does she? She had no idea of what she's getting herself into."

Jasper didn't need to respond; his silence spoke volumes. I closed my eyes, forcing away the thoughts; she was not my concern, regardless of how much I wanted to tell her to get out before it was too late. Maybe it already was.

Whether he moved for me, or I did it on instinct, I found myself leaning into him. I kept my eyes closed, my fingers barely grazing his chest. All I wanted was the closeness, to feel exactly what I'd been thinking about earlier. The way his free hand slipped to join the other was perfect.

"Thank you," came out as a whisper, and we stood together until the door opened behind me and we broke apart. I turned to see the same vampire from before, his wide shoulders filling the doorway.

"They're ready for you," he said and signalled for us to come closer. Before we could, the girl rose to her feet, a smile plastered to her face.

"Buongiorno, Felix," she said, nodding at the man as his demeanour flipped once one-eighty and he smirked and winked in her direction. I watched in stunned silence as she giggled then looked at something over my shoulder. "Buongiorno, Demetri."

I whipped around, recoiling as I found that he, _Demetri_, had returned and was standing only a few yards behind us. There was no questioning Jasper knew he was there, but had she not addressed him, I would've remained oblivious. The arrogance surrounding him told me he knew that, too.

"And you said you're not limited," he said dryly, laughing once under his breath. This time, I had no response, and it was Jasper edging me away from him that forced me to turn back. I looked at the girl one last time, wondering whether I would see her again as Felix led us out the room.

Now the situation was upon us, I felt my semblance of control slipping with every step I took. My whole body was trembling with fright by the time we came to a stop at a large, oak door. Felix held his hand out for us to stop as Demetri brushed passed me, invading my personal space with a perverse grin. I pressed myself against Jasper, hating the glint in Demetri's eyes as he spotted my terror.

The two disappeared inside, leaving Jasper and me alone once again. I wanted to say something, to hear his voice, but my throat was dry and seized up. All I could hear was my laboured breaths, too loud in the eerily silent hallway.

I jolted painfully as the doors finally opened, revealing a large, circular room, the décor not dissimilar to the one we'd just left. Ice-cold fear lurched through me as a voice called for us to enter.

For one insane moment, I had the urge to hold back, to let Jasper go alone. _To his death_. But I squashed the notion; to hold back was to desert Jasper, and I _couldn't_. I couldn't let him face this last hurdle on his own. We'd been through everything else; this was the only thing left.

_He_ wouldn't leave me, not here.

Jasper stepped forward, his movement tense. I stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder, but as we came to a stop in the middle of the vast room, he moved so his body was shielding mine. Similarly to earlier, he held out his left arm; this time allowing his hand to rest at the curve of my waist. I wanted to place my hand over his, but this wasn't a gesture of comfort. This was protection.

I scanned the area ahead of me, too scared to look behind me in case what I saw only made things worse. The room was full with perhaps a dozen vampires, maybe more, but I couldn't see them. I was hyper-aware of the fact everyone was staring at us, their red eyes standing out.

"How _fascinating_."

My eyes darted towards the person who'd spoken. Amidst my opening reaction to the room, I'd once again failed to notice something vital. This time, it was the three large chairs at the far end of the room. Upon them sat three men, dressed in long, dark robes. It was the one in the middle who'd spoken. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, with thick black hair that framed his ghostly face.

This was the first time I was meeting someone who essentially _looked_ like a vampire.

He rose from his chair with unnatural grace for someone of his stature. But as he got closer, I soon realised that, though the power he exuded made him seem bigger, I was still physically taller. The tallest, it seemed, aside from Jasper, Felix, and Demetri. The shortest were a boy and a girl standing beside one another. Their child-like faces were not something I expected to see here.

"She does not fear you," he continued, awed, as he scrutinised the hand at my waist and the close proximity of our bodies. "Yet the call for her blood must be obvious after such an attack."

Though something told me to keep quiet this time, his response piqued me. After everything he must have already seen about me in Jasper's mind, it still surprised him to see how close we were. I knew there and then, the man in front of me had lost every ounce of humanity.

Jasper remained silent and tense as the man came to stop just out of reach. Now that he was closer, I was able to see the differences between the two men before me. Aside from his scars, Jasper's skin looked pale and smooth. But this man was completely different. His skin looked almost translucent and powdery, making it seem incredibly old.

His eyes, too, were something new. Unlike the other irises I'd seen, they were clouded and milky, as if covered by some kind of film.

"May I?" he asked, raising a hand towards Jasper. The hand on my waist twitched as Jasper slowly raised his free arm. It was plain to see he didn't want to do it, yet he had no other choice. This eerie man may have offered it as a question, but he knew Jasper wouldn't refuse. To do that was dangerous.

He had to step closer to grasp Jasper's hand. For a full minute, they stood in silence, Jasper staring at him impassively while he stared down at Jasper's hand. Then, without warning, his sharp gaze flickered to me.

I flinched, cringing away from him. The only thing stopping me from taking a step back was Jasper's grip on my waist. His thumb moved in a swift, circular motion that I instantly recognised as a sign of reassurance. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

The look in his eyes was terrifying. It wasn't the same as, say, Felix or Demetri, whose eyes were as easy to read as an open book. All it took was one look into their eyes to know they would take pleasure in ending someone's life. But he had a different form of evil in them, a calculated one. A shiver ran through me as I worked out what it reminded me of. A mastermind, a serial killer.

He didn't take his eyes off me as he eventually dropped Jasper's hand and straightened into a more formal posture once again.

"Forgive me; we have yet to be formally introduced to one another." He held out his hand. "My name is Aro."

"Angela," I said in a cracked, frightened voice.

"Yes," he replied, attaining an air of calmness that sent a chill racing down my spine. "I know who you are."

His hand moved, reminding me of its presence. My gaze flickered towards it for a few seconds before returning to his face. I knew exactly what he was capable, of, how he could read every single thought I'd ever had with a simple touch of his hand.

The last thing I wanted was for him to read my thoughts, but what choice did I have?

His smile turned unnervingly friendly. "Will you not shake my hand?"

Jasper turned his head towards me. It wasn't enough to meet my eye, but it was sufficient for me to understand what he was trying to indicate. He was telling me to take Aro's hand; as much as I didn't want to, this was the only option I had.

My hand was quivering as I held it out. Knowing the pretence of shaking my hand was already at the back of his mind, I kept my arm limp as his fingers closed around mine. Breath caught in my throat at the feel of his skin. There was the same icy coldness Jasper's had, but like everything else, there was a big difference.

Aro's felt like stone, cold and dead, the grip a little too tight.

I kept my gaze fixed on Jasper, trying not to think about what Aro was seeing. He held on longer than he had with Jasper, and all the while, I had the urge to pull my hand away in disgust. When I realised he would be able to see exactly what I was thinking, I tried to block out absolutely everything bar Jasper.

A gentle exhale notified me Aro had finished. As soon as he let go, I pulled my arm away, instinctively curling my fingers into the back of Jasper's shirt.

"Such a lonely girl, bearing so much loss and sadness," Aro mused slowly, looking between us as if he could still read our thoughts. "I must say, you are a suited pair. It is not hard to see why she's given up her life to help you so willingly; she really has nothing to go back to. It's a shame you will be separated very soon."

My eyes stung with tears as I gripped Jasper's shirt even tighter in my clenched hands. Aro's words were hitting me like a stinging slap. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I wasn't ready to let Jasper go, and after seeing who he was handing himself over to, I wanted to get him as far away as possible.

"I have seen what has passed between you," Aro went on, his words directed at Jasper alone. "I must say I am surprised. The person I see now and the one I saw two weeks ago are not the same. You came here to die, yet you form an attachment to the thing you were to hand over in exchange."

_Exchange_…_I was supposed to be giving in exchange for his death_. Aro had lied; he never wanted to talk. I was always going to die.

Jasper's response was terrifying. The sound that rippled out of him was not human. It was animalistic, filled with rage. He did not move, but the warning was enough for the hulk-like Felix to take a cautionary step towards us.

"That was _not_ part of our deal." His voice was sharp, barely masking his fury. "You asked me to bring her here, and I did. You've witnessed her silence and you know _full_ _well_ she is not going to share what she has seen. _Let her go_."

Aro considered Jasper's request, unfazed by his behaviour. He arched an eyebrow, glancing at my motionless state only briefly before stepping back and turning to face the two he'd been sitting with earlier. The other brothers, I knew. He kept his back to us. Though out of arms reach, he was still open to attack.

From the corner of my eye, Felix stepped even closer.

I focused my gaze to follow Aro's. The one with startlingly snow-white coloured hair, being by far the oldest looking of the three, inclined his head, as if he'd shared his thoughts with Aro from across the room. His attention drifted towards Jasper as Aro faced us once again. The serene expression on his face did nothing to placate me, it only made me more conscious of the fact my life, and Jasper's, was in his hands.

"If I refuse, would you fight for her?"

I let out a shallow breath, my blood turning to ice as Jasper's arm tightened around me. It was clear how this was going to end. Aro would refuse, and Jasper would fight, knowing he couldn't win…and I was going to die at the hands of a vampire. A tremble ran down my spine.

"You already know it will happen," Jasper said coldly to the utterly silent room. "You've given me no choice."

"I gave you _plenty_," Aro shot back instantly. "You had the option of staying here, yet you chose to sentence her to death instead. Logic states that _you_ squandered those choices yourself."

"You _tricked_ me," Jasper spat through clenched teeth.

"Did I?" He arched an eyebrow, his eyes hinting at smugness. "Tricking someone entails the individual being made to believe something that isn't true. I've read your thoughts, and you and I both know that wasn't the case. You never truly believed she would be safe."

A tear slipped from my eye as I looked at Jasper. I could only see a fraction of his expression, but it was enough to prove Aro right. He'd known this could, and probably would, end this way all along, but he hadn't said. Every time I asked, there'd been a hint, but only that.

Jasper had been protecting me from the truth this whole time.

"Let's get this over with."

I jolted at the new voice, my attention flashing to the white haired man. His tone was harsh and impatient, matching his approach.

"Yes," Aro agreed. "It's pointless to drag this out."

As soon as he finished, he looked at something over my shoulder and nodded. I was frozen, making my human reactions even slower as Jasper spun around to face whom Aro had signalled. I mirrored his actions a few seconds later. Jasper pulled me against his side immediately.

It was Demetri.

"Are you really going to fight with a girl on your arm?" he sneered, stalking closer. "I doubt you're _that_ good."

Jasper's expression was deadly as he stepped back, pulling us into the centre of the chamber. Behind us was only one other vampire, watching the scene unfold, but holding back, as though he didn't have the authority to step in. None of them did, except Demetri, who kept getting closer.

With a broken whimper that I tried my best to stifle, I realised they were all waiting for something. We were outnumbered, even if I was strong enough to fight back. All they had to do was attack simultaneously and it would be over, yet they didn't. The realisation was terrifying.

Suddenly Demetri lunged forward, his hand coming dangerously close to my throat before I was spun around and forced backwards a couple of paces to give room for Jasper to intercept him. My breath hitched, my heart thumping painfully, as I watched with horror as they became a blur, ducking and dodging one another's blows.

There was a loud, familiar crack of rocks striking, jarring my body as it echoed off the stone walls. I looked around without thinking. In the mere twenty seconds they'd been fighting, I'd yet to be seized. Every occupant in the room was watching the fight. Two of the brother's, in particular, were enthralled and utterly transfixed. Only the boy, the youngest, was watching me.

I gulped, a spiral of pure fear curling in my stomach, as there was another loud crack. Then abruptly, everything went quiet. A scream built up as Jasper staggered back, his body rigid. For a second, time seemed to stand still before his legs buckled and he crashed to the floor.

Even Demetri, dishevelled and clutching his arm, seemed momentarily unaware of the source of Jasper's sudden pain.

I didn't follow his faze as he looked at something opposite me. In an instant, I was crouching at Jasper's side, tears slowly falling as I placed a hand on his arched chest.

"Jasper?" I let out quietly, feeling the tremors beneath my palm and seeing his eyes, wide and blinded with pain. Whatever happened, Demetri hadn't been the reason. Whatever it was, it still caused him pain…an unimaginable pain.

It took a moment for everything to fall into place. When Jasper told me about the Volturi and their abilities, he'd mentioned one particular vampire who could cause someone pain with their mind. But which one was it? I quickly scanned the faces around us with a sudden urgency. I felt like I was running out of time already.

I came up short. They were _all _watching him, every single pair of eyes focused on Jasper alone. I was close to shouting _anything_ to get them to stop hurting him when I looked closer at the girl. In my initial sweep, I'd overlooked the _children_. Though she, too, was staring, there was something different, like she was more intense. The malicious grin was all I needed as confirmation.

Concentrated rage flared through me and boosted my protectiveness over Jasper. _My Jasper_, I thought resolutely…because right here, right now, he was _mine_, and no silly little girl was going to hurt the man I loved.

"_Stop_."

The hall came to a standstill, and I felt all eyes turn to me. Even their attention didn't make my resentment waver as I focused solely on the girl, watching as she snapped to concentrate on me, startled by my loud, direct command. We held one another's gaze, my eyes challenging her, my body shaking from the same emotion until she looked at Aro for something he didn't seem to give her.

Only Jasper's rapid exhale made me look away. I paid no heed to the fact she could make me feel pain like no other, and centred on Jasper. All I cared for _was_ Jasper, seeing him, and looking into his eyes one last time.

When I did, the pain was replaced with a different kind; one tinged with remorse, guilt…regret. _No, Jasper_, I thought, leaning over him, _I don't blame you, so don't you dare try to take my share_. I went to say it, to relieve him of those feelings before they destroyed him, but something happened as I cupped his cheek, rendering me speechless.

I _felt them_; I felt what he was feeling.

The strength of it made me gasp. To my surprise, the unlikeliest of memories came to mind. I thought of my father, of the way he'd described those who came to confessions to beg for forgiveness. The emotions he used to recount, I could feel the all now. Somehow, my touch had broken the barrier Lucius – whom I'd yet to place – put up and allowed me to feel everything he was. As Jasper's eyes widened, I knew he could sense it too.

I was so caught up in the moment that I all but forget we were surrounded by a room full of vampires. When an arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me to my feet, I unsuccessfully fumbled for Jasper's hand before they pulled me away completely. I struggled against their hold as Jasper leapt to his feet and shot towards me, only to be cut off my Felix, who held him back.

We both resisted, eyes fixed on one another. Our moment together was too brief. If that was my goodbye, it was nowhere near enough. But as Aro stepped towards me, I knew my time was up…and then Jasper broke free, becoming a blur once again as he brought Felix to his knees.

_Jasper, don't_! I shouted in my mind as he locked onto his next target. Aro. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't make it, but I still let out a pained, "No!" as he was slammed to the floor by an invisible force once again.

"You _bitch_, you leave him alone!" I cried, losing all sense of reason and practicality as I wrestled against my restraints to return to his side. I couldn't bear it. I was going to die here; I knew that, but seeing Jasper in pain and fighting because of me felt so much worse than the realisation that I wouldn't live to see a new day.

I should have been scared. Anyone else would have begged for his or her life by now, and two weeks ago, I was certain I would be questioning my own sanity. I was giving my life to him, just as Aro said I was.

"Stop making a scene, cacasotto," a voice whispered against my ear as a hand closed around my throat, pinning me to their chest. _Demetri_. I shuddered at his proximity, now unable to move and draw attention to myself. Yet as I looked at those around us, not one of them was looking at me, anyway. Even Aro was staring at Jasper as he clawed at the marble floor, trying to pull himself closer.

"How extraordinary," Aro murmured, entranced. "He still has the strength to fight it."

There was a hum of agreement. "I told you he was worth waiting for," the white haired brother said as he, too, watched Jasper struggle.

_What_?

"What do you mean?" I demanded without thinking, suddenly sick as I tried to decipher what he meant, and convince myself it wasn't what I thought it was. They hadn't been waiting for him all this time, waiting to make him part of their coven…they _couldn't_. Yet they acted as though I hadn't spoken as Aro signalled to Felix.

"Restrain him, please, and try not to let him go this time."

In seconds, Felix had pulled Jasper to his feet and bound him in a vice-like grip. He nodded towards one of the other guards to help him. Only then was Jasper released from the girl's brutal ability.

This time, our captors prevented us from struggling. I couldn't get to him, to take his hand and eradicate the way he was looking at me. The guilt was still there, and though a few seconds wasn't enough to change his mind, he needed to hear me say it. If I was going to die soon, I wanted to go down knowing I'd made it clear that, if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing.

"You want my forgiveness," I began, ignoring the fact Aro had stepped towards me. If these were my last words, he was going to have to _wait_. "But I'm not giving it to you because I have nothing to forgive you for. Earlier, you asked me why I would do this…you know the answer and you have for a while now. Nothing's going to change that."

His eyes were tortured now as he strained against Felix to no avail. It tore at my heart to hear my name pass his lips so brokenly, and I had to force the tears to remain at bay because losing control would only make this harder. I was already doing the selfish thing by hoping Aro would deal with me first so I didn't have to watch him die.

With the weakest of smiles, I pulled my concentration away. When I faced Aro, he wasn't alone. The third brother had joined him. His finger was pressed to Aro's palm as he watched me with drained interest. I shuddered. His eyes were virtually lifeless.

Somehow, it was as though they were talking about me without actually speaking, and as the brother finally returned to his seat, I realised they probably were.

Aro tilted his head to the side, studying my curiously. When he spoke, he sounded baffled by something, and though the words were spoken in Italian, they still felt as though they were meant for me.

"_Il tuo amore per lui e' qualcosa di abbastanza profondo_."

As he finished, Demetri removed his hand from my neck and shifted my hair to lie over one shoulder. _This is it_, I thought with a tremor, but refused to show it on my face as I glanced at Jasper one last time.

_I love you, Jasper_.

Then I closed my eyes. I repeated those four words as I felt Aro stop directly in front of me, focusing on them as I realised they would be the last thing he would hear in my thoughts.

I didn't scream as I felt the sharp pain in my neck, but bit my lip hard and scrunched my eyes tightly shut. I thought of my final mantra and knew it wouldn't be long now. It was a lucid moment, almost too calm.

Then without warning, Aro was gone and Demetri released me. My eyes burst open in time to see Aro smirk, his lips stained with my blood. I let out a shaky breath, bringing a trembling hand to my neck as it suddenly started to burn. When I pulled my hand away, all I could see was blood.

I staggered forward a couple of steps, searching for Jasper, but failing as my head span and I fell to the floor. In the back of my consciousness, I could hear Jasper shouting, the ferocity prominent in his words, though their meaning lost.

The blaze against my neck grew fiercer, spreading rapidly in the way a real fire would. This time, I did cry out, unable to hold it back.

From my left, I heard the words _release him_, and seconds later, Jasper was there pulling my trembling body into his lap. I felt him press the coolness of his palm against my cheek, but it did nothing to soothe the burn.

I brought my hand to his, the blood tainting his pale skin. If this was death, my only respite was to do so in his arms. The last thing I saw was his face, distorted with anguish and distress. Both were reflected in his now dark eyes. As the flames finally engulfed me, I heard him whisper two final words.

"_I'm sorry_."

* * *

**A/N: *in hiding***

**_Il tuo amore per lui e' qualcosa di abbastanza profondo – your love for him is something quite profound_.**

**_Cacasotto – weak one_. Thanks again to Cordelia85 from twitter for the translations.**

**As you all know, I'm going to be posting Collateral over the next few weeks (did you all add me to your alerts?) The teaser will be for Part One. If you're not planning to read it, or you'd prefer not to have the teaser, let me know, otherwise I'll send it automatically.**

**Jasper's taking the stage again next chapter…until then *tips hat***


	23. Chapter 22

**A/N: Chapter 22!**

**So grateful to my readers, you guys make me smile every update. Especially all the Demetri love. To those who read Collateral – so, so happy you enjoyed it! Shout out to chazzaf for the awesome chat this past week.**

**Finally, my routine thanks go to idealskeptic for…everything. I'll say it again - are you reading her Jasper/Angela story _Tread Softly_? Well, you should be! Koko23cat also deserves a mention for helping out with a tricky paragraph.**

**Another long chapter (which I'm once again nervous about, jsyk). Jasper always has so much to _do_ in his POVs! He'll be back again in chapter 24, and I'm dreading how wordy that'll be…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Not Everything is As it Seems**

**Jasper** **POV**

It was stated once that co-dependency was seen as a weakness, as an unhealthy attachment to a person, or group of people that you relied upon heavily to survive. Without them, everything would feel slightly _off_, as though the world was suddenly out of sync and they were the only ones to create balance.

In the most extreme cases, the subject would not only be unable to perform to an acceptable standard, but they would be lost without them, void of meaning, and struggling day to day to survive.

My observation, I found, was a lot like looking in the mirror.

For nearly seven decades, Alice was my source of dependency. I'd recognised the signs, but chosen instead to bury my head in the sand and lose myself in her, rather than prepare for the worst, should it ever occur. It was the thought of that person dying that made it easier to simply avoid it, and wager on the fact you would always be there for them in their time of need.

That was the curse of a vampire co-dependency. You grow complacent, arrogant, almost, to know you had the strength to protect them. As a result of that, I hadn't anticipated it.

Losing her had cost me everything. That's why I was here in the first place, but looking at the slowly transforming girl in front of me, I knew it had happened again, though I was aware enough this time to know I shouldn't have allowed it to go on in the first place. It was detrimental to the both of us, and all I'd managed to do was drag her into this life with me.

The problem now was that I was too weak to do anything about it. The right thing was to have walked away when we still had the luxury, but that wasn't an option anymore. She would need me the moment she opened her eyes, and the need for the other would come full circle. The truth was made worse because the most selfish part of me was counting on that.

I wanted to say it was different this time, and that my reliance on Angela wasn't the same as Alice's, but that was a transparent lie. The similarities were all over the place. The first time it happened, I was only the shell of a man when Alice found me. She gave me hope, faith and a reason to live. When she died, she took all that with her.

History repeated itself when Angela was slotted into my existence. The only difference now was I hadn't welcomed the change the way I did with Alice. I didn't _want_ a reason to live; I didn't _want_ the emotions Angela made me rediscover, but somehow, she managed to insert herself into nearly all of my thoughts.

There were times during the past month where I'd paused, mid-thought, and allowed her emotions to fill me up and remind me what it was like to be human. For a while, those moments were only fleeting before I would regain control of myself and force them away until the next time it happened.

Eventually, I gave in, and bit by bit, I started to live through her. I would find myself at her door without realising, listening to her sleeping in the other room and wondering what she would say if she knew what I was doing. If she knew that, instead of using blood to sustain me, I was using her emotions…achieving the biggest weakness an empath could have.

I'd known all that, yet did nothing. Carlisle once told me I was the strongest person he'd ever encountered, but he was wrong. I was weak, so very weak, and there were signs of it everywhere. My initial weakness for power, spiralling into the weakness for blood, for Alice…and now for Angela.

It was plain, though, as I sought her hand every time she screamed, that weakness was not causing me to feel like _this_. Weakness had merely paved the way to something more. I cared for her in ways I didn't think were possible.

Once the initial frenzy was over, I was able to evaluate my behaviour, to separate the mistakes and emotions that went with them. There were a lot of both.

In the beginning, I'd denied the notion entirely. This wasn't _me_; _I _wasn't the one developing feelings. It was her, the way she felt…I could feel it every time she looked at me. Logic said it was only a matter of time before they obscured my own, and for two days, I'd actually managed to convince myself there was no other explanation to it.

Our time in England changed all that.

I'd been watching her ever since we stepped off the plane. There was everything I'd have expected her to feel, yet she'd selflessly focused on _my_ problems instead of what she was up against.

Something unexplainable had happened in those few hours with her.

Of course, an ounce of stubbornness had remained as I left her to go hunting, pinning the way I wanted to stay on the fact _she_ wanted me to stay. I was obstinate enough to believe that right up until the elevator doors slid shut behind me, severing our connection. That was when I'd questioned myself. I didn't like it. The thought of leaving her alone in a foreign country was unsettling, but the reflection of what could happen if I didn't hunt prevented me from returning. Nothing was worth risking another slip up.

Yet as I ventured into a suitable hunting ground, it only got worse, to the point it bordered on actual fear. Not the weak version I'd felt in Volterra, but a real, tangible uneasiness that settled deep within me. Nothing could hurt her here, not in the way a vampire could, the way _I_ could. Nevertheless, something in the back of my mind told me it was a bad idea to leave her in the first place.

Paranoia made me drop my kill before I was finished. I'd barely disposed of my hunt before I was tearing back towards the populated area. The early hour made it easy for me to travel at speed, and soon I was pacing the small elevator, willing it to move faster. I'd known then, as I finally stood beside her sleeping form, there was no turning back now. It had taken one hour apart to make it clear that, if I lost her, I would lose something I hadn't realised I'd found - the one thing that could pull me back and tether me to the world.

That was the first time I'd questioned my intention, of whether dying was my only option. In retrospect, I should have roused her and got on the next flight back to the States. Even if we'd evaded the Volturi's grasp, there was no way for her to return to her previous life. My presence would have become a permanent fitting, regardless of whether I had the strength to let her go. She would need protecting, but that wasn't an impossible task.

Except it hadn't turned out that way because I hadn't done the right thing. Her nightmare had thrown me off, and I'd stopped the idea in its tracks. Now, I'd condemned her to the life of an immortal. From the start, Angela made it clear this wasn't what she wanted. Unlike Bella, she saw the real burden of what it meant to be a vampire and not just the addled fantasy that she could spend forever with the one she loved.

She wanted to be human, and I'd taken that away from her.

If there was one thing I refused to destroy, though, it was her humanity. I said I would protect her, and that was exactly what I was going to do, no matter how twisted my previous actions seemed. It was going to be hard to try to retain her humanity when all she'd want to do was become the monster I knew all too well, but I had to try. I owed her that and so much more.

My first target was to get us both as far away from here as possible. There would be no means of progression if these were the walls that imprisoned us. Aro would never agree to hunting animals, and sustaining a newborn's thirst was imperative in the early stages. If left unfed, a newborn would become uncontrollable, and in time, the only way to resolve the matter would be to have them destroyed.

Neither option was in any way viable. All I had left was the single assurance from Aro that we could leave once she was awake. Every instinct in my body was telling me not to trust him after the way he'd manipulated our previous agreement, but with no other available alternatives, I had no choice but to hope my plea was strong enough.

It happened when three women arrived at our door part way through the first day of Angela's transformation, insisting I stepped outside while they prepared her for immortality. I didn't know what they had in mind, and I was suspicious of anyone having access to Angela without me in the room. It was the realisation that I would have the chance to talk to Aro that forced me to give in.

She'd screamed louder when I finally relented my hold on her.

I didn't waste what little time I had and went looking for him. His guards were wary of my motives, having seen how angry I was at Aro's deviation to turn Angela, but he told them to let me in. Aro had been expecting me. Civility was limited, but I'd forced away my resentment knowing one wrong move could cost me my only bargaining chip.

He'd listened as I made it clear why we couldn't stay here. Not only would she have to be fed regularly, but newborns needed free range. He'd seen for himself what happened when you confined them to small spaces – fights break out and people are injured. We both knew that Angela would need round the clock surveillance because in those first few months, all she'd want to do was escape; it was engrained within our very being.

Lucius was still masking my ability, so all I had to go on was what I saw in front of me. That was where I'd seen a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as he no doubt thought of the repercussions of a newborn escaping into the city. There would be no stopping her without revealing the Volturi's true identity, and everything they'd built to preserve would come crashing down. Regardless of his other endeavours, self-preservation was always the top priority.

I'd ended it with a request on Carlisle's behalf. I meant nothing to Aro, but it was clear he still respected Carlisle, even though he didn't agree with his methods of sustenance. If he wouldn't let us go for _me_, then I wanted him to do it for one of the few people I truly looked up to. I couldn't be sure if the mention of Carlisle swayed his decision, but once I finished, he agreed we could go free.

The women were gone by the time I found my way back. They'd left her screaming. Within seconds I'd shut the door behind me, blocking them out as I returned to my original seat and encased her hand in both of mine. Her screams died out at the contact, but her body continued to resist. There was no way for me to take that pain, no matter how much I wanted to. She still had another fifty-nine hours to go.

So the waiting game began.

* * *

As day three dawned, Angela was more vampire than she was human. The call for her blood had always been hard to handle, so it should have come as a relief to know that particular threat was gone. I never expected her vampire scent to be harder. It wasn't in the sense it made me thirsty because _that_ I could process. It was the significance behind it that made it impossible.

She was turning into a vampire, and even if she got through her newborn phase without tasting human blood, there was no escaping the thirst. Even Carlisle, whose restraint was by far the strongest I'd ever encountered, was known to suffer with it from time to time. He'd been a vampire for over three centuries…Angela hadn't even been a vampire for three minutes.

_How were we going to do this_?

The guilt and shame – the same emotions Angela had tried so unselfishly to make me forget – was truly crippling. I was impaired even more by the fact her final words had been ones to comfort me because she'd known how much it would torment me until my last breath. She'd done it to show she loved me, that someone _could_ love me, even after everything I'd put them through.

But how could she love me after this? How could she forgive me?

I slipped off the stool and kneeled beside her bed. With my eyes tightly closed, I thought of the copious ways she'd helped me, of her purity and kindness…her love. Then I thought of how I repaid her. I was selfish, more selfish than her creator was. At least Aro had always been the person hungry for power and supremacy. I hadn't. This was merely the person I'd turned into.

"I'm so sorry," I said, broken, belatedly remembering the way she'd asked me to stop apologising after I told her we were going to Italy. For weeks, it was all I'd seemed to do. One action after another called for an apology, but this topped them all.

It was clear now the only way to redress the balance was to look after her. To lead her down the right path the way Alice, Carlisle, Esme…the way they all had for me.

I remained kneeling beside her until the grip on my hand tightened exponentially. I listened carefully to the rapidity of her heartbeat. I'd been around enough vampire transformations to know she was nearing the end. It was only a matter of time now before her heart ceased to beat.

Her screams pierced right through me. In seconds I was leaning over her, brushing hair from her face but helpless to do anything more. I remembered this pain; it was the worst part of all, as though the three days of constant agony hadn't been enough, they were now being punished even more.

Without thinking, I lay down, pulling her against my chest. She continued to scream, though it was muffled slightly in the folds of my clothing. I wound my arms around her as she curled her body into mine, our legs tangling, fusing us together. Her heart was pounding so wildly I was certain I could feel it in the small space between us.

I tightened my hold, knowing it would have crushed her once delicate frame only one day before. _This is it_, I thought, and closed my eyes to conceal everything but her.

There was a sharp inhale, and suddenly everything went quiet.

Neither of us moved. The silence stretched until it was finally broken by a gentle expel of air. I waited for her to adjust, completely frozen so not to distract her. Along with the heightened senses, the sudden insignificance of oxygen was one of the biggest changes to get used to in this initial stage.

After a minute of uneven breathing, I felt her fingers skim my chest and I knew she was ready.

When she lifted her head, I was captivated by the changes immortality had created. Her features were more defined, the tiny imperfections straightened out. The colour from her cheeks had relocated to the one thing I couldn't ignore – her eyes.

_It'll fade in a few months_, I told myself and focused instead on the way they were looking _at_ me. It was as though she was seeing me for the first time, and I suppose she was. I should have felt cautious or wary of how she was going to react to seeing my scars properly for the first time, but I felt neither. I was comfortable, just as I'd been comfortable with her in the sunlight.

For the first time in weeks, I was glad of Lucius' ability. It allowed me to enjoy the moment and not analyse everything she was feeling. I could simply appreciate the brief spell of privacy before everything beyond this room came crashing back.

Her eyebrows rose in gentle surprise as her attention moved from one scar to the next. I couldn't feel it, but her expression told me she was just as fascinated as before. The warmth of her touch was familiar when she continued her examination, tracing the indentations at the curve of my jaw.

I knew it wouldn't last and shortly after something over my shoulder distracted her. The fascination evaporated almost immediately. Her eyes widened, and I knew what she was seeing – the things she hadn't been able to see through human eyes. She took a deep breath, then another, and her expression went from neutral to scared in a matter of seconds.

When her hands clenched into fists once again, I knew it was time to move. There was no doubting she knew exactly what had happened to her, and the panic was about to set in, just as it did with every newborn I'd encountered. I recognised the pattern. This first hour was always tough; everything was new to them, and they had to familiarise themselves, to bypass the almost childlike characteristics.

It would get easier once we were free of our holding cell.

I moved slowly to untangle myself from her. The terror that filled her eyes tore at me. All I wanted to do was take her into my arms and carry her out the way I'd brought her in, but that approach wasn't going to work anymore. She wasn't fragile, and she didn't need my protection, at least not in the way she had three days ago.

Right now, carrying her was out of the question. Just as I'd told Aro, if she felt confined, instinct would make her bolt for the nearest exit. Until we reached that common ground, there was no telling what could spook her.

The reflection was so unsettling it momentarily distracted me. Almost a century had passed since I last dealt with a newborn, and even then, I'd never cared that making a small mistake could lead to something far worse because I hadn't cared for _them_.

My thoughts were still locked in the past, making my reactions a little slower than usual as she sat up to join me. It meant I didn't wager in the fact the speed would startle her.

Seconds later, she was at the far end of the room, her back pressed against the wall. It didn't surprise me when she stared at the bed as though it was the source of her problems. When I'd woken up to this world, I'd scrambled away from the bed of straw thinking the exact same thing.

I got to my feet, bringing us eye to eye. With a single breath, I tried to ignore the fact it was Angela, and focused on it being another newborn. Once she was aware of her new capabilities, I would work on getting us out of here, and then we'd find something we could both sink our teeth into. The first hunt was important, no matter what blood the newborn was drinking.

"Angela, I need you to focus on me," I said evenly, maintaining eye contact. From my peripheral vision, I saw her swallow heavily. "I know this must be very confusing right now, but I'm going to help you straighten things out, I promise."

"My throat-" She faltered at the sound of her voice – another change – and didn't continue. But I didn't need her to. I knew exactly what she referring to.

"I know," I said, fighting the urge to cross the room and comfort her. The bed was only one of the things stopping me from actually doing it. "We're going to get out of here and then I'm going to help you with that, too."

When she spoke again, the fragility she'd lost in the transformation, worked its way into her voice. "They're letting us go?"

I nodded once, refusing to think of the alternative. "They are. Do you remember what I told you, about staying close to me? So I can look after you like I said I would."

A small smile graced her lips, and I wondered where my words had taken her. "I remember," she replied as she relaxed her stance. The tension in my shoulders eased somewhat when I signalled to the chairs behind me.

"Come sit with me. I'm sure you've got a lot of questions."

Her smile turned impish and I knew I was right. It seemed she hadn't lost her inquisitiveness at all, and for that, I was glad. The sooner her own traits returned the better. If done correctly, it would only be a matter of time once we were away from the cloying scents that made up Volterra. It was why Maria's territory was situated on such barren surroundings. The lack of distractions meant there were fewer things to focus upon, and that was exactly what I needed now.

I sat down and watched as she slowly crossed the room, testing her speed. It was clear they – particularly Aro – would know she was awake, but the question now was how long they'd make us wait until we could leave. It wasn't the case of walking out the door. There were different passages, and I didn't know which one led to an unpopulated area. For all I knew, there was a chance we'd have to wait until nightfall. I couldn't be sure of anything with this coven.

Angela was in line with the door when she paused. I tilted my head, silently asking what was wrong. Her response was to turn to the side. It was almost as though she was hearing something for the first time. It was when she looked down that it dawned on me what it was. A heartbeat. The same heartbeat I'd been hearing for the past three days. Except there was one difference.

It was getting louder.

Time seemed to suspend, with the only constant thump of blood pumping through the receptionist's body. I was on my feet at once, edging towards the motionless Angela. Her expression portrayed exactly what she was feeling. Confusion…intrigue…thirst. Each flickered quickly, like an internal battle but a hundred times faster with her new vampire mind.

She closed her eyes. With parted lips, I heard the rattle of oxygen going down her throat. I could almost feel the burn.

"_No_."

The handle splintered beneath her touch as she shot towards the door. I moved on instinct, diving across the bed, breaking that too as I used it to propel myself towards her, but my fingers closed around thin air. She was too fast for me. Her name left my lips in a desperate cry, but it went unanswered. _No_. The heartbeat was loud now, filling my head.

Like one of Alice's visions, I saw how the scene would play out in my mind. _No_. This time, as I dived into the hallway after her, I managed to latch my arms around her waist. She struggled against me, so lost in the frenzy for blood that she probably didn't even know who was holding her back.

I winced as she tried to pull my hands away. The bones in my wrist didn't stand a chance against her newborn strength, and they shattered instantly. Forcing my focus away from the pain, I edged towards the room. From there, I could call for help, or simply distract her somehow, but that was easier said than done. She continued to struggle, moving her arms up as though subconsciously looking for a weaker spot.

She did exactly that.

Her elbow connected to my nose with an audible crack. The action stunned me, knocking me back. It gave her enough momentum to break free from my grasp. She was out of my arms before I could recover.

"_Angela_!"

The screams came a second later.

I staggered forward before the scent of fresh blood sent me back again. When I turned my head away, I caught sight of my reflection. Black eyes stared back at me. Failure was the last thing I saw before my hand shot out and shattered the mirror. I watched the shards fall to the floor, centring in on them so the sound of Angela feeding wasn't at the front of my mind.

It was all I could hear. I closed my eyes tight, blocking the overwhelming urge to distance myself from it. But I couldn't – I _wouldn't_ because _she_ wouldn't leave me, not here.

It took only two minutes for Angela to run her dry.

The sound of her feeding was bad, but the sudden silence was far worse. I forced myself forward, speeding when I heard the sound of two other footsteps.

"Such a pity, I actually liked that one," Felix said as we simultaneously entered at either ends of the hallway. Alec was right behind him, with Angela only a few metres in front, motionless. Alec's presence provided me with my answer. He was using his ability to keep her in check, as a prisoner in her own consciousness.

I diverted my gaze from the broken body of the receptionist and started to bridge the gap. Angela was still closer to them than she was me. I felt a rush of unease as Felix turned his attention to her.

Without thinking, I lowered into a defensive stance. "You hurt her and I _swear to God_-"

"We're not going to hurt her," Alec said impatiently, cutting me off before I could finish my threat. Confusion swept over me as I studied his expression. I was unable to catch any hints of falsehood, only his obvious impatience to complete the task at hand. "We've had instructions for two days now to contain her once she was awake."

_Two days_?

Felix shot me a withering look. "Do you really think Aro would change her if he was going to give orders to have her killed the instant she opens her eyes?"

My lip quivered as I looked at the inert figure standing between them and tried to rationalise that he made a valid point. Why wait for her to change when killing her would have been far easier in human form? But that was before she killed the girl. As my thoughts drifted to the blood on her shirt, I had to look away. I couldn't allow that to break me now.

"Do you expect me to believe this has nothing to do with whom she just murdered?" I demanded, stabbing a finger towards the girl's body. "Is it just a coincidence she happened to kill one of your _employees_ minutes before you showed up to detain her?"

Felix exhaled irritably and parted his hands. "Aro gives the orders around here, not me. It has nothing to do with _me_ if she was stupid enough to come near a newborn. _Besides_, do you really think we'd kill one of our own when humans are so expendable?"

_Aro gives the orders around here_...did that mean he'd ordered the receptionist to come here?

My silence was enough of an answer. He turned away and signalled for Alec to take Angela. I felt the pull to follow them, to not let her out of my sight, but there was something stronger. The pull for answers sent me off in the other direction.

The further in I went, the more it started to look like living quarters. I was certain no one outside the Volturi had ventured so far from the visitor's hall. Eventually, I came across two unfamiliar guards standing post outside a large door. There were only two vampires inside – Aro and his wife.

The guards eyed my cautiously as I approached. I straightened my expressions. It would take only a flash of aggression for them to grow suspicious.

"I need to speak to Aro."

They looked between themselves, inadvertently showing me their weakness. They didn't have experience with opponents, hostile or not. If I needed to, it wouldn't take much to get past them, but I wasn't going to force my way in.

"I don't think that's going to-" the man on the left began. A voice from inside the room interrupted him, and he stopped immediately.

"Let him in."

Though clearly hesitant, they didn't disobey. As soon as the doors were open, Aro signalled for them to escort his wife to another room. I watched as she walked passed. The way she looked at me had me questioning how many other vampires she'd come in contact with in the last century. I was certain I was only one of a small number.

I waited until we were as alone as could be before facing him.

"I've been expecting you," Aro said lightly, repeating the exact same thing he'd said the last time I asked for a private audience. The fact he'd been expecting me backed up what I'd been thinking all along…he had sent a human into a danger zone. The muscles in my forearm tightened.

He took the seat across from me. I didn't miss the fact it forced me to stand in his presence. With Jenks it was one thing, but with the Volturi it meant something else altogether. It was a sign of respect and power, and I admired neither of those about them.

"Did you send her there on purpose?" I demanded, getting straight to the point. My voice was hard, but otherwise in control. He would notice it anyhow, but right now, his face was serene and unreadable. Everything about it hit all the wrong buttons.

He tilted his head, his expression morphing into confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play _innocent_ with me." I stared him down, not looking away until I saw exactly what I was looking for. A flicker of arrogance to know his plan had gone exactly as planned…and there it was. "You know exactly what I mean. _The receptionist_."

"I sent her on an errand," he replied evenly. "Are you telling me she is dead?"

The ghost of a smile pushed me to the edge. "You knew she would react! You told me we could leave, yet you do _this_?"

"Not everything is as it seems," he shot back, standing up, as the vitriol grew more prominent in my features. Through the closed doors, I heard two vampires approaching the chamber. "I may have said you could leave, but I never promised not to give her a taste of what she would be giving up by going with you."

"You son of a _bitch_." My words came out in a snarl. Though too angry to hold my ground, I waited a second, letting the ones outside hear my intentions in my voice. I anticipated an interception – relied upon it. I couldn't lay a finger on Aro, not without jeopardising Angela's safety, but my resentment towards his actions so far had me itching for some kind of revenge. Aro would not personally stop a fight between me and one of his guards.

The door slammed open just as I advanced towards Aro. It was pure luck that the guard who burst into the room was none other than Demetri himself.

I turned mid-step, taking the brunt of his attack across my chest. We slammed back against the wall, wood splintering around us as we clipped the wardrobe. I forced him back to give myself time to right my stance. This wasn't a fight to the death, but until I had him in that position, I wanted him to believe that it was.

I inclined my head to show I wanted a fight, yet waited for him to make the first move. In battle, the initial attack was the easiest to deflect, and most always put the opponent at a disadvantage. With Demetri, it was easier said than done. After the first deflection, my barely healed wrist was strained and threatening to splinter.

Every move was anticipated, and his method of attack was familiar. He fought the way someone in an army would, using tactics Maria had taught me. Your eyes were the last thing to give you away before an attack, and Demetri was looking right into mine.

Without interruption, two fighters with equal abilities could fight for long periods of time. Aro wasn't going to step in and back up was yet to arrive. I wanted this to be over before then. Pushing him into the doorway, I moved to have enough room for what I had planned.

For years, Maria persevered in finding something that put us at an advantage. She wanted a talent you could perfect. Eventually, she found it, but kept it private between only the two of us. I couldn't be sure Peter even knew how to fight with his eyes closed.

The trick was to focus on the sounds they made. With a vampire's enhanced hearing ability, it was possible to hear even the smallest of movements. I'd only used the tactic a few times, and even then, a side of my consciousness always told me not to do it. But without it, the fight might not end the way I wanted it to. So I closed my eyes.

"Giving up, soldier?" Demetri asked smugly. I waited, knowing he'd make a move. Attacking someone in a defenceless position was a dirty trick, but that was exactly the kind of person Demetri was. The silence stretched, until finally it came.

I side stepped to the left, his grasp missing me by inches. He did it repeatedly, each I moved just out of reach. As the minutes passed, Demetri became more and more aggravated. With my eyes closed, he couldn't watch for my decisions. He was a good fighter, but a sudden change in strategy could throw anyone. I was no longer on the attack, and he was starting to realise I had the upper hand.

In the moment of clarity, I thought of Alice.

A decade after Alice and I joined the Cullen family, Rosalie came across a rogue vampire, riddled with thirst and looking for a fight. Luckily, Emmett got there in time and together they were able to eliminate the threat, but afterwards, they still turned to me to help them prepare for similar attacks. During that time, Alice and I practiced the same method. Her ability gave her an advantage no one else had.

Only Edward understood how we were able to simulate a fight with our eyes closed.

With a smile, I knew it was time to end this. I waited for him to attack again, and then grabbed his arm before he could retreat. I slammed my free hand against his shoulder, pushing it from its socket. His exclamation of pain was short lived as I kicked his feet out from under him.

In seconds, I had him locked in my grip, pinned down by the neck. He struggled, but I tightened my hold, pulling his head at a harsher angle. The darker part of my conscience told me to do it, to exert a little more force and make the break, but I couldn't…not like this. I had to prove I wasn't intending to kill…but that didn't mean I couldn't leave a scar.

Knowing a bite mark was far worse than a clean cut scar, I quickly sunk my teeth into a place his cloak couldn't hide. I left a mark deep enough so it would take days to heal, and then got to my feet and moved back.

"This is _done_."

Demetri pulled himself up, his eyes dark with hatred. "Like _hell _it is!" he spat, yet was silenced by Aro, who up until that point had been nothing but a spectator. He did nothing to hide his surprise that I let Demetri go – he'd never seen anyone back away from a winning fight before, it wasn't standard for him. The truth was, before now, it wasn't standard for me, either.

"You knew you would be intercepted, didn't you?" Aro asked, catching on as though he could read my thoughts from afar. "You counted on Demetri stopping you."

I smiled harshly. "My fate is tied with hers. If I harm you, your guards have the authority to destroy me. If that happens, she'll be left here to live the lifestyle you forced onto her."

Aro's eyes narrowed minutely. "Yes, but like you said, this is done. You will find her in the main chamber. I suggest you go now and wait until we are ready to deal with your…_fate_."

I couldn't be sure what my expression revealed, if it revealed anything at all. I didn't know what to make of his latter comment – what more did he have to decide? I couldn't be sure what would happen once we were all together again. I didn't trust them, and the way he had spoken the word _fate_ left me feeling uneasy.

If his claim to let us go was true, what else was there to decide?

The desire to be back with Angela stopped me from asking him to explain himself. With Demetri still clutching at his healing shoulder, I quickly passed between them and left the room. I took off at speed the first moment I could, the situation being familiar in that I was eager to return to Angela.

I found my way quickly, entering the chamber to see Felix and Alec hadn't left their posts. I felt a brief spell of relief to see she was still under Alec's influence. Even as a newborn, once you were away from the lure of blood, the guilt and devastation of taking a life would hit. I knew how that felt a thousand times over, and I had to be there when it happened.

I'd promised her many things during our time together, many of which I'd failed to uphold somehow or another, but this…this was one thing I couldn't fail at, regardless of how long it took.

"Do you really think you can convert her to your bizarre diet?" Felix asked, making me look away from her for the first time since entering. My lack of response seemed to pique him, so he tried again to get a reaction out of me. "Your eyes are black, soldier. Are you sure you're up to the task? You won't teach her anything if you're fighting her off to get there first."

Alec laughed airily. "Don't tease him, Felix, he looks ready to snap."

"He already has."

My jaw ground to near breaking point as Demetri joined us. I didn't turn, but Felix's surprise told me he was still holding his arm – dislocations always took a little longer to mend.

"Are you saying I missed the fun?" He sighed irritably. "Babysitting is such a bore. The sooner this is over with the better. When is Aro getting here?"

"Soon, brother," Demetri said as he came closer to examine Angela. He hummed in approval. "It seems she has done well by immortality. Maybe we should ask to keep her instead?"

I let out a low growl in warning. His attention towards her made my skin crawl. If he laid one finger on her, he wouldn't have an arm _left_ to hold onto.

"Claimed her for yourself, have you?" He took a step back, as though appreciating a piece of art. "That's if she still wants you. To tell you the truth, I think she'll desire something less complicated, something a little more…human."

I thought of a hundred different ways to wipe the smile off his face, but acted on none of them. He was simply trying to get a reaction out of me, and I wasn't going to fall for it. Instead, I focused on the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Know your place, Demetri," Aro said, stern, like a reprimanding father. "If you push him any further, I don't think he'll spare your life for a second time."

The three vampires went silent before me as Aro and the others entered the chamber. Demetri fell back, the smile vanishing as his master belittled him in front of his comrades. The corner of my mouth flickered into a smirk. Of all the ways I'd imagined, Aro's method outstripped them all. I allowed the satisfaction to simmer for only a moment more.

"We've been speculating on what we should do with you now," Aro announced. He glanced at Caius, whose face was set in a bitter mask. Whatever this _decision_ was, it had something to do with him. His expression made my uneasiness return.

"There's nothing to decide," I said, trying not to let my trepidation show. I didn't fear for myself, it for was Angela – her safety. I was a suddenly a man with everything and nothing to lose. Angela wasn't _mine_ to lose. She wasn't tied to me the way Alice had been…but she could be, in time, and the thought of losing her now, when we were so close to being free, was unbearable. I was glad when the situation provided a distraction from letting that thought grow.

He arched an eyebrow. "Isn't there?"

"You said we could go." I scanned the faces of the brother's for their reaction. I saw none. "You agreed it was the best for both sides!"

"I still stand by that,-" he paused to share another glance with Caius, "-but our decision lay in _how_ we should let you go…in which order."

"You can't!" I said without thought as a burst of ice shot through me. I glanced at Angela, the pieces slowly falling into place. Aro was going to let us go, but he wasn't going to let us go together. "You know a newborn has no sense of subtly when it comes to hunting – she will expose you if you let her go alone!"

"I know that, but tell me, do you really think we've never had an outbreak of vampire attacks in Volterra? Never a rogue vampire trying to expose us in our own city?" His smile turned malicious. "We're very good at cleaning up and even better at eliminating the threat."

My stomach clenched as though a weight had been thrust against it. "Don't do this, Aro," I said, his remark tearing away my iron walls and producing the core of what held me together. "Don't send her out there on her own."

His was unmoved as he signalled to Alec. "You know where to take her."

"_No_!" I rushed forward just as two hands latched on and held me back. I struggled on. They couldn't. They couldn't do this. _It will destroy her_.

"Punish me, not her! Leave her out of this!" My voice was desperate now, losing all control as they took her out of sight. "_Please_, Aro!"

In a flash, his hand was curled around my neck, his dead fingers digging into my throat. "But don't you _see_?" he said, quiet, calculated. "I _am _punishing you because when you catch up with her, when you see the person she has become, the blood of her victims will be on _your _hands."

I pushed against his hold, letting him see flashes of every life I took. "My hands are stained red from the blood of _my_ victims. I know how that memory sits on the heart, and it'll do her far more damage than it will to me. Harming her was not part of our deal."

Aro let go as though discarding a piece of trash. He walked away, speaking with his back to me. "What part of any of this was in our deal? If I'd stuck to _your_ plan, you would be dead by now."

"Yes, and I've made it perfectly clear I do not need your assistance anymore," I told him, looking again at the door they took Angela through and thinking of the minutes that had passed since then. Were they waiting for a signal, or were they letting her go straight away?

The laugh that erupted from him was like nothing I'd ever heard before. He turned to me, the maniacal glint in his eye enhanced by the red surrounding it.

"You were never going to die! Caius wanted you to join his guard – he has for decades! I've seen your memories, boy. It was naive of you to believe you and your Mexican _puttana_ managed to escape our notice all those years ago."

I stopped trying to break free of my restraint. For a moment, I couldn't move whatsoever. All I could do was let the meaning sink in. The Volturi had known about Maria's army. They had known about me.

_I told you he was worth waiting for_.

Caius' words flashed across my memory as I put all the pieces together. Aro hadn't mentioned Maria after the first time he read my thoughts. With hindsight, it didn't make sense how I'd missed it. Her armies were exactly what the Volturi were trying to prevent. The only reason they spared them was that she had something they wanted.

_No_.

"With your talent, strategic skills and experience in battle, you would be a strong addition to an already unstoppable team. So we waited. We were willing to wait even longer, but then you walked right into our hands."

"What changed your mind?" I asked dryly to stop myself from wondering whether they'd kept track of me once I left Maria's army.

"It hasn't," he replied with an air of nonchalance. I clamped down on the surprise his statement caused. He still had the addled fantasy that I would one day be a member of his coven? But...how? After everything that happened, he still saw a way to make it happen? Was he simply trying to _scare_ me? I didn't buy it, or maybe I did...either way, it was clear Aro was insane, and his abrupt change of heart left me dizzy and unable to respond.

My silence meant he could continue. "However, at present, it seems newborns aren't the only things I'd have trouble controlling. It was pointed out to me that if I could not trust you now, how could I ever expect you to be my guard?"

I sneered at the use of that word. _Controlling_. These were his puppets, and they were gladly letting him pull their strings. Maria had been my controller for a long, long time, but never had it been to a degree such as this. I had known my place, but here…he even controlled his brothers.

"You knew you could not trust me four days ago, so why did you turn her?" I demanded, finding my voice again. Right now, if he was willing to talk, then I wanted some form of explanation as to why he did this to Angela.

"Is that not obvious by now?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "She was a human who knew too much. Letting her go free with our secret wasn't an option, and killing her would directly result in _your_ death. I couldn't allow that, so it left me with only one option."

_He changed her so you would live_, the voice in my head said.

I had to close my eyes against the all familiar self-loathing that rushed through me. For an instant, I nearly allowed the truth to crush me, but I stopped, driving it away until I had the privacy to deal with it. Aro had stripped me back, and when the time came for me to face it, the result was going to be brutal.

"You turned her to manipulate me, and for _what_? Where has it got you?"

The hall was silent, wholly enrapt by our conversation. Even Demetri's arrogance had yet to return, and the two keeping me in place had all but faded into the background.

Aro simply smiled, flickering back to the serene expression in an eerily robotic manner. "You seem to think I have not gained anything. This experience has proved you are not yet mature enough to join. Don't think I'm above waiting a little longer, especially now you're not the only one I'm waiting for. Your brothers have caught my attention in different ways-"

"You leave them out of this!" I hollered suddenly. Aro cut me off as I did him.

"Too late," he replied simply. "It's a pity, really, that you are not ready. But your reactions only add to the fact I cannot and will not add such a volatile and savage animal into my coven."

_Don't rise to it_, I told myself, diverting my eyes as he lingered on my scars a moment too long. Eventually, he looked away.

"This is goodbye for now." I watched from my peripheral vision as he looked towards a group of three vampires. "You know what to do. Jane."

I didn't have time to prepare myself before the searing pain slammed into me. My legs buckled under the sheer, yet invisible weight of it. I heard movement, of footsteps getting further and further away. I was unable to struggle as two new hands dragged my rigid body like dead weight across the floor.

Yet, in that time, I did not cry out. This was a part of my punishment, something I deserved. It went on and on, never waning, never wavering. It just remained. A constant stream, pulsing into every fibre of my body. Even as they dropped me in a dark passage and retreated. I listened over the roar in my ears to the sound of their diminishing footsteps until they too disappeared.

If was then, finally, that Jane released me.

My body slumped against the damp stone, weakened by her vicious ability. The pain was not physical, yet the reaction drained you of energy for every minute you were under its influence. Though she'd inflicted it on me a number of times now, I was glad that Angela had been spared of at least one thing.

It was thoughts of Angela that had me pulling myself upright. How long had she been gone - twenty minutes? Thirty? I couldn't be sure…but the time did not matter. It took only a few seconds to take a life. I knew that all too well.

I was speeding through the tunnel moments later.

I didn't look back the moment I was free of Volterra. I focused solely on locating Angela's scent, moving away from the main city when I finally caught the trail. Dusk was falling, giving me the perfect cover. But now the Volturi were behind me and I was on Angela's tail, the truth was unavoidable.

Everything that happened to her in the past few weeks was my fault. Ever since the near attack three years ago, each factor led here, to this point. To me following her as the newborn part of her brain took control and led her to what she craved the most.

How many had she killed? Three? Four? How many more would fall before I reached her? How many more would have to die before they stepped in again?

Each question remained unanswered, knotting together and tying themselves around my heart. I stumbled mid-step as the combination of guilt and broken vulnerability nearly brought me to my knees. This weight around my heart, would it ever leave? Even when I'd found her?

"_Forgive me_."

But at whom was my plea for forgiveness directed? To Angela, for leading her into this life? To her parents for destroying the girl they called their daughter? To my family for pulling them into this mess and alerting Aro to their abilities and strengths? Or to Alice, for using her name at the heart of my motives?

No one was there to listen to my plea. There was no God for someone like me. I was sentenced to endure this punishment until someone set me free – but how? – and who would have the power to do so? I'd damaged the only one left who could. Damaged her beyond unforeseeable repair.

_Angela_.

We may well have escaped the Volturi's grasp, but we were bound by the shackles I'd forged through my actions. I'd been too focused on the idea of getting us out that I hadn't stopped to think what would happen should Aro trick us the way he had. I never trusted him, so why had I let my guard down the way I did?

I'd promised to help her overcome the murder, to get past it and move forward. I never foresaw the murders multiplying by nightfall…all because he wanted to punish me – for the way I acted, and the way I let my feelings get the better of me.

Was this Aro's final punishment? To open my eyes to myself? Was this part of his plan? A way to teach me a lesson and mould me into the character he wanted. I had to learn how to stop reacting so violently, and do so the hard way. In opening my eyes, he'd shown me the truth – that when the people who loved me _needed_ me, I let them down. That, in the end, I always would.

It was then I caught the scent of fresh blood.

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**A/N: *hides again* I was very sad to see human Angela go…**

**This is how I've always seen the Volturi – manipulative, arrogant, and cunning. Aro being the worst of them all. He's prepared to do just about anything to get what he wants or make a point. Poor Gianna. I'm sure there are some questions – ask away! I'll try to answer as best I can.**

**_Puttana – whore_. Thanks to Cordelia85 for the translation.**

**Gotta admit, I was itching to write a fight between Jasper and Demetri since chapter sixteen. There's something about those two. If you follow me on twitter, you might have seen my tweets about it a few weeks ago. *cough*sexual tension*cough***

**I'm currently only a few hundred words into Chapter 23. Keep your fingers crossed that I'm able to finish it in the next two weeks, 'kay?**

**Usually I'd mention teasers right now, but as I said above, I haven't written enough to tease you with :P All I can say now is bring on newborn Angela!**


	24. Chapter 23

**A/N: Chapter 23!**

**Sorry for the wait…I hope this makes up for it! I know there's still a few reviews I haven't replied to - I haven't forgotten, and will get to them as soon as I can. Thank you to idealskeptic for putting up with my DMs over twitter whenever I needed help. She's always such a good source of encouragement.**

**The title of the chapter was taking from a song by Framing Hanley. The lyrics have a vague link with the chapter, but I still suggest listening to it just because it's a good song.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Built For Sin**

_What's happening to me_?

The question came as I opened my eyes to find I was outside without remembering how I got there. Grass and rocks surrounded me with a view that stretched miles. The sky was a brilliant shade of red and pink, signifying the end of another day. But what day? How long had passed since the pain and the nothing? _The pain_. Where had it come from and why had it lasted so long?

I sat down and curled my legs against me. Where was I? – and Jasper, where was he? I could remember his voice and the fact he was the first thing I saw once the pain came to an end. But where did he go? I looked around for something recognisable, but came up with nothing. Just the burn in my throat and the sweet scent in the air.

When I searched for the source, there were similar results. There was only one tangible place it could be coming from. _Me_. I looked down, and on the shirt I did not recognise, were three patches of blood. I tentatively placed a finger over the largest, pulling it back to reveal that the blood was fresh and had left an imprint upon my skin. I stared at the red on white. When I inhaled again, my mouth watered.

I wanted the blood.

At that, three words came to mind unbidden…three words I couldn't ignore.

_I'm a vampire_…and I wanted more.

_No_.

I flipped over onto my hands and knees, digging my fingers into the earth. I killed her, the girl. It was her blood that splattered my shirt. Jasper had tried to stop me; it was where I'd seen the red eyes looking back at me in the mirror. Vampire eyes. My eyes.

But he was not here, and my throat! _It burns so much_. The blood…makes it better.

Chunks of dirt came up with my hands as I launched forward. The speed was startling. I came to an abrupt stop and turned to see I'd travelled further than anticipated. I started again, testing the speed and distance until I reached a point where I could not walk any further.

As I looked for a possible route, I thought of Jasper once again. In this position, he would have jumped. _I_ had to jump. But how? How did Jasper do it? I clenched my hands and focused on where I wanted to land. I was a vampire…I could do this now.

Taking a few steps back, I drew in a deep breath and propelled forward. The moment was brief as I flew through the air. When I landed, the ground seemed to meet me, as though I was only jumping a metre at a time. I spun around; hardly surprised to see I'd gone way beyond my target. Without warning, I started to laugh.

_Oh, Jasper, if only you could see me now_.

Seconds later, I was on the move, barrelling down the side of the hill with barely a drawn breath. The speed was exhilarating, and I laughed louder to know I was hardly paying attention to where I put my feet. I didn't have to think at all, I could just keep running and running…

The scent hit me when I least expected it to. It had a familiarity to it, though just enough difference to pull me in. I inhaled deeply, letting out a cry of pain as the burning intensified to an unbearable point. I changed my course almost immediately, following the scent as it led me towards a small cluster of houses. I paused only a moment as a familiar beat joined it.

A wet, thumping sound that seemed to fill all my senses. Where was it coming from? How did I get to it? My eyes darted around the area, looking from one direction to the next as the sound pulled me off on different paths.

Everything about it was infuriating yet enticing, and I couldn't remain stationary for a moment longer. I moved towards the sound slowly, knowing that anything faster than the pace I kept would cause me to miss my target. I couldn't let that happen.

The fire in my throat was at its greatest when I saw him. A young man, walking on the other side of the street. Before I knew it, I had crossed over and blocked his path. When he jolted, the thumping noise reacted in unison, and I knew I'd finally found the ultimate source. My lips peeled back into a grin. I was about to kill again, and all I could feel was exhilaration pumping through me. I _wanted_ this.

He barely had time to let his scream build before I cut off his air supply. By the time I sunk my teeth into his neck, I was certain he was already dead. The blood gushed down my throat, smothering the burn to a dull ache. The sensation was like nothing I'd ever felt before today, but the euphoria was short lived. He ran dry soon after, just like the girl.

My tongue darted out, capturing every last drop as I began searching for my next victim. With my heightened senses, it didn't take long. This time, it was two people. I went for the female first, allowing her partner to see what was coming before he too met his end.

I let his lifeless body fall beside hers and stood back. With my eyes closed and head tilted back, I revelled in the new burn, the pleasurable kind. A slow smile formed as the rich taste continued to linger minutes later. After a while, I started moving again, but my movements were lazy and unhurried as I followed the next trail. The euphoria was much longer now.

The village – if you could even call it that – was tiny. Voices could be heard from within the houses to my left, but I had no desire to enter the building. There was a single heartbeat ahead, and that was where I was headed. It was only as a got nearer did I realise where it was coming from.

A church.

As the voice coming from inside grew louder, his words became clear. I paused once I reached the open door, and listened.

"_Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae_."

Something within me recognised the foreign words; their translations were still lost, but the phrase itself was familiar. I slipped through the doorway, both the sound of blood pumping through his body, and the words he'd just spoken pulling me in. He was alone, kneeling in front of the altar with his back to me. The kill would be easy. I could see it in my mind, exactly as it would play out. I could almost taste his blood.

Then I saw him.

My father.

I stumbled backwards. The euphoric sensation vanished as though someone had come up behind me and sucked it straight from my veins. In its place was solid ice, overpowering the fire that urged me to take his life. He wasn't my father…my parents were dead. But this man before me, so utterly oblivious to my presence, looked exactly the same.

In a different time, a different place, it could have been him.

What made this man so different? What made _any_ of them different? They were all human, all with families and friends of their own, and I'd killed them. But not him. I couldn't kill him.

"Forgive me," I whispered, but as I went to leave, the minister looked over his shoulder. My voice must have carried and caught his attention.

He looked surprised, yet unafraid. He wasn't close enough to realise I was covered in blood. "_Posso aiutarti_?"

I froze once again. Now he was facing me, the differences between him and my father were obvious, yet it did not change the fact I could not kill him, especially now he had spoken. I didn't know the exact translation, but I'd head the same phrase a few times since arriving in Italy. I was almost certain he was asking if he could help. I swallowed once, careful not to breathe in as I focused on him enough to answer and not lose my sudden restraint.

"You already have," I said, not knowing if he understood, or even heard me. I didn't wait around to see if he had. My moment of clarity was allowing me to think like myself, but I couldn't be sure how long it would last. When I was with Jasper, it had been only minutes before the questions and distractions made me dizzy.

I took one last look at the minister before leaving through the wooden doors.

The evening had gotten even darker while I was inside, and with the lack of streetlights, all I could see was the dim glow from the houses across from me. The second I centred on them, though, the sounds and scents came back, having somehow been drowned out by the single heartbeat coming from inside the church…and just like before, they pulled me in.

_No_. _They're no different to the minister; remember that. They are just as _—

All of a sudden, I was knocked off my feet by a force that could not have been human. Panic seized me as arms locked me in a vice-like grip, pinning mine in place. I struggled wildly as the assailant dragged me towards the tree line. I forced my head back, connecting with something hard, just as a voice told me to stop struggling.

I knew that voice, and I knew those words.

"_Angela_, I'm not going to hurt you."

My body tensed against his, giving up the fight to break free. There was no mistaking him. "_Jas-per_?"

When he spoke again, his voice was right against my ear. "I've got you…you're safe now."

_Safe_. Safe from killing innocent people.

I gasped for air, inhaling only once scent…the same one that surrounded me in every form, and the first thing that registered when I woke up to my new vampire life. _Jasper_. His arms had been around me then, too. Trying to create a semblance of safety, just as he was trying to do now. Except there was one big difference. I was a murderer.

Suddenly, my legs lost their stability. Now he'd found me again, the weight of my actions was crippling, and the only thing stopping me from crashing to the ground was Jasper. Soon enough the restraining hold turned into a supporting one as he lowered me to the ground and held me in his arms the way he had once before.

With my face pressed against his chest, I was cut off from all sight and smell, giving me only one thing left to think about. There was nothing else to distract me, and the dizziness returned with immense force. When I couldn't stop the dry sobs from escaping, he held me tighter.

It was clear now, why guilt and shame came so easily for Jasper. Even the temptation was bad enough to elicit such emotions…taking a life was the optimum, and I was feeling it four times over.

There was nothing I could do to escape it.

* * *

I couldn't be sure how long it took me to come back. The gentle motion of his hand tracing along the curve of my spine slowly pulled me away from the black hole, giving me something else to focus on. It was when the shaking stopped that I felt ready to speak.

"Will they fade – the memories?" I asked, moving only enough to speak clearly.

"I wish I could say that they do," Jasper replied quietly. He paused, his hand stilling. "It's one of the pitfalls of becoming a vampire. You don't forget a thing."

I closed my eyes and tried not to let the trembling start again. It helped a little when I leant into him, but there was no calming my thoughts. I was never going to forget what happened today. These memories would be there forever.

"It won't always be like this," he continued. "Things can, and _will_, replace it – _good_ memories. You stop thinking about the bad ones for a while."

As he finished, I pulled back and looked at him for the first time since being in the Volturi castle. There was something different about him; his _eyes_ were different – and it wasn't just the simple variation in colour. It was more than that.

"Is that what happened to you?" I asked, watching for changes in his expression.

When he spoke, his eyes lightened for just a moment. "The good memories always outweigh the bad ones, in the end."

I nodded once and returned to my original position. If he was right, and the happy memories worked as a strong enough distraction to the bad ones, then I hoped a happy memory would form sooner rather than later, for both our sakes.

The silence between us stretched as I thought about what was causing him to look like that…and also what _he_ was using the silence to think about himself. I knew the answer to one, at least. He looked the way he did because of me, because of what I'd done.

"Angela? Can I ask you something?" I nodded, even though I sensed how cautious he was to continue. "When you were in the church, the minister asked you if he could help, and you told him that he already had. What did you mean by that?"

I attempted to straighten my thoughts and come up with a legible answer. The honest truth was I didn't quite understand it myself, but I knew one thing.

"He reminded me of my father, from behind, at least," I told him, half of my thoughts now back in the church. "He was praying. I don't know what he was saying, but I recognised it. I…I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill him."

"_Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae_." I watched in acute surprise as the words flowed from his lips as though they were spoken in his first language. "It's Latin," he went on, deep in thought. "It means _Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death_."

The translation left me unable to reply. Of all the things he could have been reciting, it happened to be the one thing that related to me directly.

"I remember there was a painting in Carlisle's study in which that exact quote is written. His father was a man of God, but I believe that particular phrase stuck with him for a different reason."

"We are the sinners," I whispered, staring at nothing at all. "We are the ones praying for forgiveness."

"There's no one listening to my prayers," he replied bluntly. "I have long since passed the right for forgiveness."

I couldn't find the words to respond yet again; as I wasn't so sure I had the right to ask for forgiveness, either. Not anymore. When I rested my head against him, he put his arm around me and held me close, and there we sat, lost in our own thoughts.

* * *

"Can we go?" I asked when I couldn't stand it any longer. Where to, I didn't know, I simply needed to move and pay attention to something new. Jasper must have understood my need as he helped me up without a word. There was no telling where we were headed; I just knew it was away from the Volturi. They must have reached the village by now to clean up the mess I'd left behind. I almost asked, then caught myself when I realised that one answer could lead to more I didn't want to hear.

Instead, I held my breath as best I could. I was too scared to inhale because the burn had slowly returned, and one wrong move could mean even more death. It happened once, which meant it could easily happen again. I shuddered at the thought. It was made worse to know that, in the moment, I would enjoy it.

My reaction didn't go unnoticed.

"We won't go much further. I've hunted here before; you'll be okay if you stay close." My doubt must have been strong, as he came to a stop. "I'm going to do everything I can to never let this happen again, I promise."

The resilience in his voice eradicated a little of my doubts. "Will you help me?"

"Of course," he replied firmly. "You shouldn't have to ask."

I smiled weakly, looking away. I knew he would help me, but it was a question of whether he _wanted_ to. This wasn't what he started out to do, yet now he had no choice but to become my carer. I could feel him looking at me, but I refused to acknowledge it. With these thoughts, and the expression I would no doubt see on his face, I simply couldn't bear it. In the end, he had no choice but to keep moving.

We walked for another five minutes before we eventually came to a stop. All around us were trees as far as the eye could see. Even so, I didn't dare breathe in.

"Wait here; I have to scope the area. I'll be a lot quicker on my own."

Fear spiked in my chest at the thought of him leaving me here alone. I didn't want to leave his side. The sensation was so precise that it startled me a little.

"Don't worry, I won't be long," he assured me. The corner of my mouth flickered into a smile. "Close your eyes and count to one hundred. It'll give you something to concentrate on while I'm gone. I'll be back before you finish."

Though wary of what I would see when I closed my eyes, I did as I was told. I was just beginning to picture the numbers when I heard him move away. I managed up to twenty before my thoughts jumbled and I started listening for sounds of Jasper returning.

With my attention dipping in and out, I barely reached forty when I felt and heard his presence behind me. I opened my eyes and whirled to greet him. The relief was instantaneous, and I relaxed my taut muscles. It was short-lived when I noticed he was clutching at his wrist.

"_Are you hurt_?" I scanned the trees for signs of someone new. "Did they…did they come after us?"

He shook his head and moved to perch on a fallen log. "It's an earlier injury. The bones hadn't mended properly; I'm just making sure they heal in the right place."

There was something he wasn't telling me, and at first, I couldn't place it. Only as I thought back to when we were last together did I derive a conclusion. It was _me_. I was the one who injured him. I knelt down, not taking my eyes from the injury. The scene appeared before my very eyes. I'd used my newfound strength to break his wrist, and if I was right, I'd broken other bones, too.

"This was my fault, wasn't it?" I felt as though I wanted to cry, except the tears wouldn't form. "I did this to you."

"Don't do that," he replied instantly. "It's not worth upsetting yourself over."

My next response came out as a whisper. "But you're hurting because of me."

"That's not true - I did more damage to it myself…" He sighed when I opened my mouth to argue. "Angela, stop. I've had worse injuries than this."

The finality in his voice made me hold back any further disagreements. I didn't consent, but remained quiet until he loosened the grip and flexed his wrist.

"All healed," he said, and then nodded towards my shirt. "We've got to try and conserve our clothes until we can get more, but the sooner that shirt is gone, the better. You can use mine for now."

At that he removed his sweater to reveal a second long sleeve shirt beneath it. For a moment, I thought about the scars on his arms and how he kept them covered. The scars on his neck and jaw were prominent, though not as ominous as he'd tried to make out. When I looked at him, they weren't the first thing I saw.

My attention didn't last long before I was back to my bloodied shirt again. I hadn't thought about changing, but he was right that I needed to do so as soon as possible.

"I'll give you some privacy," he said and stood up. "I will be over—"

"No." _You can't leave me again_. I attempted to compose myself before explaining my interruption. I wanted to be rational, not a panicked mess. "I don't want you to go."

I felt a burst of shyness to ask, however he simply agreed and said he would keep his back to me while I switched shirts. It should have been more awkward to know he was only a metre away while I changed, yet I felt more at ease than I did at the thought of him giving me more privacy.

Suddenly desperate to get out of the soiled shirt, I moved quickly to remove it, and soon tore it from the hem upwards. The action upset me more than it should have, and soon I was nearing hysteria once again as I stared at what I'd done.

"Angela?"

I looked up from my shredded shirt, my hands trembling. "I ruined it – Jasper, I thought it would be enough, and now-"

"Hey, hey…it's okay," he said, shushing me the way one would a young child. "I wasn't intending to keep it, anyway."

"It's not okay," I whispered, holding back a sob. "I don't think I can do it…I can't. What if I do it again?"

His sigh was barely audible, but it was enough to know he was thinking of a way to remedy the problem. In my mind, there was only one thing to do – I wanted – _needed _– him to help me. I was just too embarrassed and ashamed to ask him outright for help changing my clothes.

"I'm going to turn around, okay?"

He kept his gaze firmly on my face as he came to stand in front of me. "Don't be ashamed," he said softly. "It's not uncommon for things to get broken easily in the first few months. I'll help you whenever you need me to until you know your own strength. You will have to ask me, though, if you're unsure."

I nodded, feeling almost vulnerable all of a sudden. As he started removing the remains of my shirt, I got the impression he was helping me to calm down. I didn't take my eyes off him, not when he dropped the shirt to the floor. I closed my eyes for only a second as he lifted his sweater over my head. His movements were gentle and slow as he threaded my arms through the sleeves.

His hands were at my waist when he lifted his gaze to mine. The feeling was immediate. Where I'd been embarrassed and vulnerable, I started to be aware of his hands smoothing the hem at the curve of my waist…how warm they felt. Briefly, I wondered if this was something he was making me feel, but I knew right away that it wasn't.

Yet, in his eyes, I knew he could feel it too.

"Angela…"

His voice was a whisper as he moved a little closer. Everything about it was achingly familiar as I was sent back to that moment on the hill, where I was nothing more than the human girl in love with a vampire. I'd pulled away because I couldn't bear the rejection should that have been his reaction…this time, I didn't have the strength. He was struggling, as well; I could see it as clear as day. The same pain I'd seen earlier, though there was uncertainty, too.

_Please_, I thought, and his fingers lifted to my jaw, just as if he'd heard me. He was tentative at first, as though unsure of what he was doing, but then he leaned closer, pausing again to watch me close my eyes. As he tilted my chin, I simply let him lead me.

When our lips met, it was more than I could ever imagine. The kiss was slow, like his approach, gaining strength as I responded. My hands found the folds of his shirt, curling into it and holding him in place. We teetered on the edge of deepening the kiss even more, but didn't take it further. Moments later, our lips parted, and I was breathless for the first time in my short vampire life.

With my hands still in his surprisingly intact shirt, he couldn't move far, and ended up leaning his forehead against mine.

"You feel exactly as I remember you to," he said quiet, distant, with a hint of dejection I couldn't understand.

"I told you nothing would change that," I replied, unsure – not of what I was saying, but how he was reacting.

A finger ghosted across my cheek a second before he moved back and turned away, giving me no choice but to let him go. With his back to me, I couldn't see his expression. "I don't know how that is possible…after everything that happened in the past few hours."

In the aftermath, I couldn't quite believe it.

"I was the one to – to kill them, Jasper, not you," I said, faltering as the memories tried to take my attention. I focused on his face, only to find him looking at me with the expression that said he knew exactly what was trying to pull my thoughts away from him.

His stare was suddenly eerily empty. "No, not this time, but if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have done it."

_Yes, but if thing were different, you would be dead now, Jasper_. It was clear this was exactly what was hurting him – just as he could see it was hurting me, too. The sudden change in his behaviour left me confused and all but lost for words.

"I thought you would blame me…and forgiveness…" He shook his head and looked away. I wanted to approach him, except I was suddenly afraid he was going to push me away. These were the emotions I'd seen on his face – what I could see even clearer now. He was tormenting himself with these thoughts, and it _hurt_. It didn't hurt that he'd thought them in the first place; it hurt because he was still thinking them now. He still doubted the emotions he felt coming from me.

"Why did you kiss me, if you doubt me so much?" I held myself up, chin high, even though I was slowly falling apart inside. I could tell I'd struck something deep within him though, when it seemed as if he was going to say something, no words came out. "I don't _want_ to blame you, isn't that enough?"

I hardly had time to assess his reaction before he was right in front of me, closer than before. When he cupped my cheek, I closed my eyes by impulse, letting him pull me into his arms. Though it was faint, I could feel his remorse seeping through. It was his way of saying sorry when speaking the words aloud wasn't possible.

"I can feel it, what you're saying…and it is enough…it is enough now," he murmured.

I wanted to relax into him. He'd proven that he didn't want to, and wasn't going to continue to find a way for me to blame him, but there was still one thing eating away at me, and I had to ask him. It was now or never. I whispered his name as I tried to find the courage to ask. Even then, my voice was quieter than ever.

"Do you regret what happened to me?"

His brow furrowed a little as though he'd expected me to say something else. "Yes, but only because I wasn't able to keep you safe – keep you _human_. You should have been home by now."

His logic made sense, and had I been given the choice, I would have chosen to remain human…"But then you would be dead by now."

The next words to leave his mouth were Italian. I recognised them as the words Aro had said moments before my change.

"What does it mean?" I asked, wondering why he was bringing it up now.

"It means _your love for him is something quite profound_." He smiled the first real smile I'd seen in a long while. "Aro was right about one thing, at least. I would have come back for you."

"You really mean it?" I asked.

In response, he slipped his hand into mine. "I do not regret that I am alive; I _want _to be alive, in the same way I wanted to kiss you. I just can't do it alone."

Overcome with emotions, I struggled to find my voice. "Neither can I."

"And I hope that never changes, because I don't plan on ever leaving you again," he said and pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead. For a long while, we simply held each other. The rollercoaster of the last hour had left me dizzy again, and I clutched to him with all I had.

However, when the warmth of the moment slowly faded away, I couldn't help but ask the question I knew would become our next hurdle.

"What do we do now?"

Jasper hesitated, answering after a deep breath. "Now…I call my family."

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? I'm certain you didn't expect the kiss at the end – am I right? Three members of the Cullen family make an appearance in the next chapter – who wants to guess which Cullen he calls?**

**I noticed an unintentional parallel as I wrote this chapter. Both times they are reunited, Jasper grabs Angela and drags her away. That sounds rather brutal…**

**_Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae _is the Latin translation of _Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death_, which is an extract from the Hail Mary.**

**_Posso aiutarti_? = _Can I help you_? – Thanks to Cordelia85 for the translation.**

**Teasers go out to reviewers!**


	25. Chapter 24

**A/N: Chapter 24!**

**I made a tiny mistake (which I corrected) in the previous AN. I initially said there were two Cullens making an appearance, when actually there were three. We'll see which of you were right! Hope you like hearing from Jasper again. He's taking the next chapter, too.**

**A big hug to my readers, you're all wonderful, and thank you to idealskeptic.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four:Family**

**Jasper POV**

Nerves were not something I felt often. There were very few things that could make me nervous, but talking to my family wasn't one of them. At least, it never used to be. Here I was, pacing back and forth with a phone in my hand. There was no escaping the fact I needed help. I wasn't a particularly proud man when it came to asking for it, not from them, in any case. This was different. I hadn't spoken to any of them in nearly two and a half years.

The thought wasn't strong enough alone to make me change my mind; one look at Angela would set me straight, anyhow. It simply made things harder. Of course, that was where the nerves kicked in. Not only that, I had to decide which one I was going to call.

Edward was out of the question. The last thing either of us needed was another mind reader, and the state I'd last seen him in left a lot to be desired. There was no way of knowing if Bella survived. If the worst had happened, for my sake, I didn't want to feel what he was feeling…and for Angela's sake, a grieving man was no use to anyone. I knew that more than anyone did.

Rosalie, too, wasn't an option. While I knew she would help, it was her initial questions that put me off. She never did like to wait, so she wouldn't let me go until I told her everything.

That left Carlisle, Esme and Emmett.

My first choice was always going to be Carlisle. As the head of the family and the one with the most knowledge and experience with a vegetarian newborn, he was the logical choice. I knew he wouldn't ask many questions, understanding that I wouldn't know how to answer them right away. I also knew that, if I asked him to, he would fly to Italy to help.

I _wanted_ to call him, and I knew I should have done so already. There was only one thing holding me back. _Esme_. If Carlisle were leaving, especially to go somewhere they could find me, she would want to come. The fact I would have to face her, knowing she knew I had planned to die without giving her a proper goodbye was too much to bear.

She wouldn't blame me, or demand to know why, it simply wasn't in her nature, but it would upset her in ways even I couldn't describe. I felt guilty enough as it was. I needed to stay strong, and more guilt would only make me weaker.

That meant my only other option was Emmett.

Strangely, I didn't feel as nervous now I knew whom I was supposed to call. I could trust Emmett with this, and was certain he wouldn't judge me for it. Out of everyone, he was the person to bet on to accept things as what they were and nothing more.

Even so, I paced for another ten minutes before I eventually dialled his number.

"Hello."

I thought I'd prepared myself to hear his voice, yet it still took a few seconds to find my voice. It struck me that Emmett had been the last person I talked to before leaving.

"Emmett." All I got was silence. "Emmett?"

"_Jasper_?"

My eyes closed with relief. I couldn't deny it was good to hear a familiar voice. "Yeah, Em, it's me."

"Why are you calling me?" he asked after a long pause. His approach was jilted, as though he was uncertain of what else to ask. There was no accusation to his voice, just pure curiosity. I knew exactly how I wanted to answer him; I simply couldn't do it right away. Of all the questions I'd expected, that hadn't been one of them.

I opened my eyes to look at Angela; it helped me focus. "Are you alone?" I asked in lieu of the real response.

"Completely," he replied. I caught a hint of surprise. "Rosalie is out hunting with Carlisle and Esme, and Edward went home with Renesmee."

Angela's head shot up at the mention of the unfamiliar name. I stared back and asked the question I was certain was on both our minds.

"Where's Bella?"

His silence was enough.

In all this time, I'd imagined that either Edward had lost everything, or gained everything…I suppose I never thought about it enough to visualise what would happen if the former had come true. I wouldn't have wished that upon anyone.

"There was nothing they could do. The venom couldn't spread quickly enough." His voice shook, and then silence came again. I watched Angela look away. "Renesmee is like nothing I've ever seen. Do you want me to tell you about her?"

_Did I_?

"No," I replied bluntly, wanting to continue with _not yet _as a way of justifying myself. The words wouldn't come. I just didn't want to know. "It's good you're alone."

There was an awkward pause where I waited for him to do exactly what I needed him to – move on. When he did, I got the impression he'd known I wouldn't all along. "So what did you need?"

"Your help," I told him simply and resumed pacing. This was where questions became unavoidable. "I need money, but I can't access an account right now, so I will need you to bring it to me. I need some of my clothes, too."

We rattled off some numbers, but I focused more on the sound of relief in his voice. He was eager to help me, happy that I'd gone to him and not one of the others. He was eager to help when he didn't know what it was he was getting himself into.

"There's something else," I said, glancing again at Angela who offered an encouraging smile. "I need your help with something…but I can't have you all coming. It's going to take time."

"You know Rose won't let me come alone, especially when you're involved," he countered. "I can persuade the others to stay, but not her."

"I know." And I did. The truth was that Rosalie had experience with newborns, too – she helped Emmett through his phase. Her help would be valuable.

"So, are you going to tell me what the hell it is you're doing?"

I ran my hand over my face. This particular question was inevitable, I just couldn't tell him, not yet. To answer him now would mean to tell him about Angela, and doing that would lead to a hundred more questions. That wasn't going to happen.

"I will," I began, already feeling guilty for leaving him in the dark so much. "But not yet; it's not the right time. I'm sorry. There are letters that explain everything. I left one in Illinois, the other in Seattle. You'll find them in the safe in Carlisle's garage."

There was a long pause, and then, "Are you sending me on a wild goose chase?"

"Please, Emmett," I said quietly. I wasn't being fair to him, and after what I was asking him to do, he deserved more than just answers. "I need you to trust me." _…because I can't find the words to explain this over the phone_.

"You know I do." Emmett sighed deeply with what I was certain was defeat. "Do I at least get to know where you are? I can wait for answers, but I'm gonna have to tell them something."

He was right; so far, I'd given him nothing substantial enough to share. I had no choice but to tell him, regardless of whether he made the connection to the Volturi or not.

"I'm in Italy."

The initial pause was expected. He needed time to let the news sink in, but even then Emmett still didn't respond. His silence felt so loud to me, and I closed my eyes tight as the seconds ticked by. It was plain to see that he'd made the connection. Of course he had. Of course he knew. Every vampire knew there was only one reason you went to Italy.

I tried to think of something to say to break the silence…and then I didn't have to.

"Look, Jasper…the others are going to be back soon," he said, his voice distant and only half there. "I need to work out what to say to them."

"Sure," I managed to get out. My stomach felt like a ball of steel had been rammed against it. There was a pause where neither of us said a word, and I knew that if I didn't speak, the call would end and he would be gone.

I couldn't, though; I couldn't leave it like that. "Emmett, I'm sorry for putting this on you again."

He let out a quiet sigh, laughing, maybe, under his breath. "You're my brother; it's my job to look out for you."

A few seconds later, he was gone, and I was left with an empty line. I slipped the phone into my pocket and started pacing for a third time. It would take them at least two days to travel to Seattle and Illinois, with another two to get to Italy. That gave us four days to ourselves.

I had been far longer without hunting in the past, but Angela needed to start as soon as possible. The fact it was night was only a small part of why we couldn't start right away. We wouldn't get anywhere trawling through the forest in the pitch black, even with our heightened senses. I needed daylight so I could keep an eye on her at all times.

That was it. That was all I knew.

I'd never hunted with a newborn before, never trusting them enough to let my guard down. Any hunt I'd set up had been upon a group of unsuspecting humans. Yet again I was reminded that I didn't know what I was doing.

When I noticed Angela was watching me, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind; I would worry about what I was going to do once dawn broke. For now, there was something I had to do. I had to burn the bloodied shirt. It had been over four days since I last fed, and the smell of blood affected me more than I cared to admit. If there was one thing Felix had been right about, it was that I wouldn't be any help to Angela if I were thirsty myself.

Angela didn't question me as I prepared a small fire the way Maria had taught me. I kept the flames low and burnt them long enough to make sure the fire would destroy the shirt entirely. After a while, Angela joined me, breaking me away from the dark memory of when I was last in front of a fire, watching the items burn.

So much had changed since then.

"You didn't tell him about me," she said. It wasn't a question, but it wasn't exactly a statement, either.

I shook my head. "I couldn't. Not over the phone."

Human Angela wouldn't have bought that short remark for a second, and the vagueness I could feel from her now said she wasn't so sure she should believe me. It was those small, familiar hints that reassured me she was still in there and always would be.

"Am I mentioned in the letters?"

My response was to nod; no words this time. The letters held everything. What I had planned, why Angela was involved and why I couldn't keep going without Alice. I'd written my apologies and things I'd wanted to say, just not having the words. It was easier to write it down when I thought I'd never see them again. Now they had to read them.

I'd avoided their heartache by not going ahead with my initial plan, but now I had to put them through it anyway and show them how close they were to losing yet another family member.

"Don't feel guilty," she said gently and turned me so I had no choice but to look at her. "Whatever you wrote in those letters, it's not going to happen anymore, and they'll know that."

"I know, but they'll still feel it." I felt the crease between my brow and the frown on my face. I was desperate for some kind of respite. "You know the worst part is I would rather they read the letters in all their detail than wait for me to explain in person. I can't find the words, and I can't feel what they'd feel when I do, Angela. I _can't_ see their expressions. It's the main reason I didn't tell him. I'd hear it in his voice. How can I not feel guilt for that?"

She reached up, tracing a line across my cheek. "Because you know you'd feel even worse if you lied to them."

I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch. When it came down to it, I knew she was telling the truth. In the end, the secret would eat away at me until it came out. Secrets always had a way of doing that eventually.

Though it was a hundred times harder, I couldn't deny that my only option was to tell the truth.

* * *

Around six fifteen, the sky began to lighten. It was still too early for any human to be outside, and visibility was far better. It was a perfect time for us to hunt, and I wanted to start right away. Angela was nervous, though. During the night, she had asked what our next move was going to be again. After telling her we would hunt at first light, the nerves started to grow.

At first, she put on a brave face and asked me what we would be hunting, and whether there was anything she needed to know. I told her everything I could think of; reassuring her that it would come naturally once she started. I didn't mention that it already had.

There was nothing more I could do for her, and she soon let her nerves get the better of her, to the point she was almost hysterical. It was a common trait; one I'd seen her exhibit a few times now. The trick was to let her calm down in her own time with only a small push, if needed, from my ability.

Now, though, she seemed pretty much in control - as much as pacing the same path I had the day before could allow.

"It's time for us to head out," I told her. She paused and looked at me. Her eyes were wide with anxiety, and her hands were shaking, but she nodded, anyway. We were ready to go.

"Can you hold my arm, please? So I don't break away from you."

I could understand her request and knew why she wanted me to do so. When you gave yourself over to the hunt, one wrong scent would send you running towards the wrong find of source. It was probably for the best at this early stage, but I wasn't going to hold her as if she was my prisoner.

She was surprised when my hand found hers. It was a pleasant feeling that helped smooth off her fraying nerves, so much so she was the one to make the first move. Our hunting ground was limited, so we didn't go far at all. I had a general idea where to go to find what I was looking for, and soon enough we came across as small herd asleep on the ground.

"What are they?" she asked as she stared at the thick, ridged horns that curved back from the top of their head.

"I believe they're called Ibexes. They are a form of wild goat," I added when she seemed equally as baffled by them.

Her next question was far more hesitant. "Do I kill it first?"

"It's probably best," I replied honestly. Not only was it more humane, and make it easier for Angela, it would also lessen the chances of others waking up and making a run for it. She let out a long calming breath.

"It's a good thing I wasn't an animal rights activist, huh?"

Angela flashed a quick smile then went for the nearest Ibex. I caught the words _neck_ and _quickly_ muttered under her breath, but was unable to form the sentence around it before she'd snatched up the sleeping form and broke its neck. I watched in awe as she started feeding a second later. With barely a hint of hesitation and only the natural level of discomfort, I knew there and then that she could do this.

One day, she was going to be better at it than I was.

She had something I lacked during my own switch to animal blood. She had determination. My first catch had also been a herbivore. I later found out that carnivores tasted a little better, but it was still one of the worst things I'd ever tasted. After one bite, I'd pulled back in disgust. If Alice hadn't been watching, I would have spat it out on the floor.

"You'll get used to the taste, eventually," had been Alice's encouragement.

I did, in the end. Growing to like it, however, was a completely different ballpark. I was prepared to give the same encouragement to Angela, but I soon realised I didn't need to. Once she drained the first, she moved onto the next, repeating the action until she'd finished her third. When she straightened and turned to me expectantly, I felt nothing short of pride.

I moved closer and used my sleeve to wipe away the blood on her lips. She watched me closely, speaking only when I finished.

"Your eyes are black. Didn't you want any?"

I shook my head, when the truth was I should have hunted _yesterday_. "I wanted this hunt to be about you. How was it?"

"It was…_different_." A crease formed across her brow. "My eyes are red, aren't they? Will they stay like that…because I…"

Angela's voice petered out. I answered quickly before her thoughts could wander. "No. It'll take time, but they will turn gold eventually."

"If I drink more, will the red go quicker?" she asked and half turned to do so. I caught her before she could reach them.

"It doesn't work like that," I said gently so not to upset her. "But it's a good method to adopt. I think you've had enough for one night, though. We can always come back tomorrow if you'd like."

She glanced at the sleeping animals longingly. I knew she wanted to have more now to test her theory, but over feeding wouldn't help her cause. I didn't want to remind her, but only the day before she'd drained the blood dry from four humans.

I was about to prompt her when she surprised me once again. "Shall we go, then?" she said, and held out her hand.

* * *

"You're going to wear a hole in the ground if you keep that up," Angela muttered from her position watching my nervous pacing. It was a habit I'd picked up a long time ago. She was as nervous as I was, though handling it better than I happened to be.

Emmett had called to tell us he and Rosalie had landed in Rome and were making their way north. The last thing I'd wanted was for them to pass closely to Volterra, but once they heard our bags were still kept in the car in Prato D'Era, we agreed it was practical to bring it with them. Their arrival wasn't for another few hours, though, which meant my nerves were for something else entirely.

During that same phone call, Emmett also told me they had read the letters in full. He didn't go into it much, nor did I expect or particularly want him to, however he did admit they'd called home and told them everything. It was for the best, ultimately, even though it meant, by default, that I had to call them too. I knew exactly what they would be feeling, and I couldn't leave them without a word. If it were me, I would have wanted to hear their voice.

This time, there was no questioning whom I had to call; there was only one person it could be. Esme. It was making the call that was my dilemma.

"Call them," Angela said, once again breaking me from my nervous ticks. At present, I was moving the phone from one hand to the other. "They'll be more relieved to hear your voice than whatever it is you're worrying about." She waited a second, and then asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Irrefutably."

She smiled at that. "Then call them."

I absorbed the confidence she was projecting and dialled the number before I could doubt myself again. It rang only once before she answered. From the tone of her voice, I couldn't be sure she knew it was me. A few seconds later, she still didn't know. _Hello_ didn't seem appropriate, and anything else I thought of seemed even less fitting. In the end, I settled in, "It's me," and waited for her reaction. In credit to her, she hid her surprise well.

"Jasper…" There was a falter. Did she not know what to say, either? "I wasn't sure you would call."

I closed my eyes. I didn't need to be in front of her to know what she was feeling; I got my answer loud and clear through the phone.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh, hush," she said in a whisper. "You don't need to apologise to me."

Incredulity escaped with a sigh. Was no one going to let me apologise? "Don't I?"

"You had your reasons, Jasper, we know that," she continued. "You can't expect me to accept an apology for that."

"Then let me apologise for what I put you through," I countered with a strain to my voice. I wanted nothing more than her forgiveness, but not so wholly without an acknowledgement first. I wanted something to prove she recognised why I was saying it, and her pause was enough to verify I was right. She may have denied my apology for going to Volterra to die, but she could not deny my absence before, and the truth now wasn't causing her heartache.

"I know you're sorry, Jasper, and I accept that, but you are reaching out to your family, and right now, that is all that matters." She sighed. "Now that's the end of it. No more talk of apologising."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Angela smile. It wasn't an I-told-you-so smile, just one of relief. Maybe she hadn't known after all. Either way, I was glad she convinced me.

"Emmett said that Angela Weber was involved," Esme said a moment later. She was more cautious now because she didn't know what happened to Angela – nor did Emmett or Rosalie. All they knew was I'd taken her to Volterra, and for a human, the outlook wasn't good. "Is she with you now?"

The question was the most innocent way of asking if she was still alive. I faced Angela. Her smile was gone and she was watching me for my response. I hadn't told Emmett because he hadn't asked. It was quite possible he was leaving the question to answer itself when we were face to face.

"They changed her," I said weakly. "Aro betrayed us and went against his word that she wouldn't be harmed."

"The vile, repulsive…" Esme trailed off, finishing, maybe, under her breath. She didn't often react the way she did, so I knew it would only last a few seconds before she regained control. I was right. "How is she? Is she okay?"

I thought of how best to answer. Was she okay? She was, now. It was still early days, and I knew how hard things could get.

Angela was the one to answer for me. "I'm okay, Mrs Cullen. Thank you. I have Jasper looking after me."

I couldn't help but smile, and when Esme replied, I got the feeling she was smiling too. "Well that's one good thing, I suppose – and please, call me Esme."

After a pause, she added, "I was thinking, though – even if the worst had happened, heaven forbid, someone would have had to box up your things. I was wondering if you would like me to do it for you."

I looked at Angela for her answer, seeing as I had been momentarily pushed out of the conversation. Given everything that happened I'd totally neglected the fact Angela's apartment would need clearing out. It would be years before she could be ready to do it herself, and we simply didn't have the time or luxury to wait that long.

"Are you sure? I would hate to be a burden-"

"You mustn't worry about that," Esme politely interrupted. "Illinois is maybe a seven hour drive, which in vampire house isn't very much. Besides, it'll give me and Carlisle the excuse to get away for a few days, though if you prefer, I can make sure Carlisle sticks to non-personal items."

"I don't mind," Angela told her. I very nearly interjected that Carlisle would uphold the utmost professionalism; regardless of what he was going through. "I'm just grateful for you both going out of your way to help me."

"It's the least I can do." There was a brief spell where no one said a word. The speed in which Esme continued indicated what I'd assumed – that she knew Angela was the reason I was alive, and this was her way of thanking her. "The change is hard to get used to. The thought of something familiar might make things a little easier.

"We will keep them safe for you until you both come-" She faltered over the word I knew she wanted to say. Home. "-For when you need them again."

There was the undeniable sadness in her voice that I couldn't ignore. I may have been reaching out to my family, but that didn't confirm I would come home again. The look on Angela's face told me she made the connection, as well. We hadn't talked about our future, not officially, at least. All I knew was that we weren't parting ways.

I wanted Esme to know I had every intention of returning, but I wanted to see Angela's reaction as I said it. I wanted to see if she agreed. In the right circumstance, we would have discussed it together. But we couldn't. We only had this moment.

I held out my hand to her, hardly surprised when she rushed forward to take it. I didn't let me gaze stray from hers as I spoke.

"As soon as it is safely possible, we are coming back. _Maison_." My eyes questioned Angela's, silently asking if that was what she wanted. With the squeeze of my hand and her widening smile, I knew that it was.

Now, I wanted Esme to have no doubt in her mind. She needed to know exactly what she meant to me. I chose my words carefully.

"_Tu __es ma mère__ et tu le sera __toujours_."

"_Comme tu seras toujours mon fils_," she murmured, her voice thick with happiness and a pride that made me glad to have said it. "Thank you, Jasper," she added a moment later, and I knew that if it were at all possible, she would have been crying.

"It's the least I can do."

* * *

"I'm sorry I put you on the spot like that," I said to Angela a little while after Esme and I had said our goodbyes. "I wanted her to know that I would come home, and leave no doubt of that, but I should have talked to you first."

"You're all I have left," she replied, confident in her admittance. "If this past month has been anything of an indication, then I would follow you anywhere."

Be it intentional or otherwise, she let me feel the reason behind why she would do so. Her love was refreshing, and strong enough to wash away any worries I had towards what she saw for our future. This time, when I leaned in to kiss her, there was no uncertainty. Just her.

She was breathless again when we parted; smiling possibly the widest smile I'd seen in the last four days together.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Though I didn't quite know what she was thanking me for, I said, "You're welcome."

"So," she began, rejoining our hands and leading me back to the fallen log. "Am I allowed to know what you said to Esme? It was French, right?"

I nodded. "I told her she was my mother and always would be. She told me I was her son. I said it in French because she was the one who taught me that particular language. It brought us closer together, back when I was new to the family."

"You seem very close to her," she mused as she took in my distant expression. "I'm guessing you all see her as the mother figure?"

"She falls into the role automatically. I suppose it's in her nature." I answered as honestly as I could without openly saying it was mainly because she had been a mother herself shortly before she was turned. It wasn't my story to tell. "We don't often call her that, though. Only Emmett does it on more of a regular basis because he knows how much she likes it."

"I can see why it means so much to her, coming from you," she said, and smiled. The silence that followed was filled by that of my cell phone. I'd received a message.

_We've parked in the village you mentioned. There are vampire scents all over this place. See you in five minutes_.

I waited for Angela to read the message before pocketing the phone. She remained utterly silent as I stood up and looked around. It was late evening, and people in the nearby villages would undoubtedly be in for the night, which meant as soon as they were free of the streets, they would be able to run at vampire speed.

Five minutes was an overestimate.

I looked over my shoulder for Angela, beckoning her to stand beside me. She shook her head almost immediately.

"I'll stay here," she said almost inaudible, and looked behind me cautiously. She was nervous about meeting them, Rosalie more than Emmett. I'd tried to placate her when she first told me two days ago, but there was nothing more I could do now.

They were here.

I faced front just as Rosalie stepped into our clearing, hair swept back from the run. Emmett was a step behind her.

For a moment, they stared at me. They looked exactly as I remembered, but how different was I? I tried to think of something to say, but similarly to when I talked to Esme, nothing seemed adequate enough for our reunion.

Rosalie was the first to move; she stepped closer, her face a complete mask and her emotions even more undecipherable. Emmett watched her, too; clearly unsure of what she would do as I was. It was a few seconds later that her mask slipped and allowed me to see what she was feeling. It was relief. Pure and unadulterated relief.

When she pulled me into a fierce hug, the relief was Emmett's. I met his gaze over her shoulder. He merely shrugged in response. Whatever reaction he'd expected from her, it wasn't this. I didn't care to find out otherwise.

"Never, ever do anything like this again," she said firmly as she let me go. Her eyes were hard, but there was another Rosalie behind the front she put on. The protective sibling I knew all too well. It was the part that made her who she was.

I was saved from giving her a verbal response by the sudden spike in anxiety coming from behind me. One look at Emmett gave me any explanation I needed.

"Well, that answers some of my questions," he said, his eyebrows arched in surprise. When he turned back to me, I prepared myself to answer the rest.

* * *

**A/N: So which Bella fan is going to kill me for killing her off? Up until two weeks ago, she was very much alive…it was actually seeing that some of you thought Jasper would call Bella for help that set me off *whistles innocently* Of course, not passing the blame here. The underlying angst that storyline would cause is all me…what can I say? I like stirring things up.**

**I've written a drabble outtake from Esme's POV. If you would like to read it, let me know and I'll send it out in review replies with the teasers. For those who don't, it will go up on my blog later this week. I'm also partway through writing a much longer outtake from Emmett's POV. If I finish writing it before the next update, it will be posted then.**

**_Maison = home_.**

_**Tu es ma mère et tu le sera toujours = You are my mother and you always will be.**_

**_Comme tu seras toujours mon fils = As you will always be my son_.**

**Thank you to Lil-Ruty for all the French translations.**


	26. Chapter 25

**A/N****: Chapter 25!**

**Here is the final chapter from Jasper's POV! As far as I know, Angela will be taking the rest of the story. Hope you like it!**

**Thank you to idealskeptic and those who reviewed - sorry I couldn't send the Esme outtake to those who used anon/guest, but you can now find it on my blog. Something I forgot to mention - one of the anon reviewers asked if Angela would have an ability. I thought about it, but decided against she wouldn't.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: A Lesson in Control**

"How did this happen?" Emmett asked, alternating between staring at Angela and looking at me. "Who changed her?"

My jaw clenched at the thought of saying his name aloud. "Aro."

He let out a low whistle. "I bet there are some nut jobs out there who would call that an honour. So how did you two get out?"

I glanced at Angela. During the last two days, I'd talked to her about what she'd missed while under Alec's ability. I didn't want there to be any secrets between us, so I told her everything. Including the fact Aro had let her go because he wanted to punish me. Given the factshe tended not to believe it was my fault, it only seemed to make her angrier with Aro.

We agreed that we would leave the twisted dream Aro had of seeing me, Emmett and Edward join his coven until the family was back together. The last thing I wanted was for them to return home and have the discussion it would bring forth without me. After all, it included me and Angela just as much, and I wanted to make sure no one was left out when we talked about it.

Angela was mostly unsure of telling them under what circumstance we were let go. She thought they would judge her, scared they wouldn't want to help after finding out she had killed four people. I assured her they would, but I could feel how scared she was now.

It was the single reason I was looking at her and not answering Emmett's question. I wanted some kind of confirmation from her.

She went one better.

"Aro let us go one at a time," she said, her eyes downcast. "I was the first to go."

"Is he _crazy_?" Rosalie demanded. "You could have slaughtered the whole town!"

I let out a low warning as Angela flinched.

"_Rose_," Emmett snapped. She fell back, looking displeased. Emmett met my eye and silently asked what I could only assume was whether she _did_ kill anyone. I offered the smallest of nods and instantly he reached out to Angela.

"Listen, that man is a manipulative son of a bitch. If he wanted something to happen, you can bet he'd find a way. None of us would stand a chance against him."

She looked at him for the first time. "But, I still..._killed_ them."

"That's on him, not you," he said, firm, but gentle enough to soothe her a little. Then he surprised me by telling her something even I didn't know about.

"When I first slipped up, I'd been a vampire for just under three weeks. Carlisle had taken me out to hunt, when I came across a human scent." He paused then; whatever this memory was, it still felt bitter. "I broke his arm in three places when he tried to hold me back."

I watched as Angela disappeared into herself for a moment or two. When she came back, I could tell she was thinking about her own similar situation.

"How did you get over it?"

"I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't _me_. The person that killed all those people was someone else _inside_." He shrugged and flashed a quick smile. "It's the same for you. The person you are and the person you were are not the same. It's just a little harder to distinguish right now."

I knew there and then I'd made the right choice. It was only now as I watched him do something I couldn't that I knew Emmett would most probably be more help than anyone. He may not have had firsthand experience with newborns, but he was one of the few people who could lighten even the darkest of situations. It was clear from the way Angela's mood picked up that he was doing just that.

"So I'm assuming this is what you need help with?" Rosalie said, taking her attention off Emmett and Angela and tuning it to me.

"Yes, and I'm sorry I waited so long to show you what I needed help with," I told them honestly.

It was Emmett who knocked my apology back. "I can see why you couldn't tell me over the phone."

I nodded and continued. "I know what I'm asking of you, here of all places. You brought me what I asked for, so I wouldn't blame you for leaving."

The pair looked at each other. They were as much a united front as Carlisle and Esme were. If they were going to make a decision, they would do it together.

"We haven't seen you in two years," Rosalie said. "We're staying to help you."

"Let's face it," Emmett interjected. "If we go home now, I'd bet anything Esme would be waiting at the airport to send us right back."

"We can't stay here, though," Rosalie went on. "I don't know if you are trying to sugar coat things on purpose, but it would take maybe two minutes to get to that village and we all know it."

Rosalie's bluntness was as forward as ever. She didn't exactly care if she upset anyone, it wasn't in her nature, but a lot of the time, she was exactly right. We _couldn't_ stay here, and I'd never planned for us to, either. I'd been thinking of places for us to go every day, and there was really only one place I could think of.

"The Alps should provide the cover we need," I said. "We just have to find somewhere suitable that humans can't reach."

"I'm on it," Emmett said and started tapping away at his phone.

"We could use the car to travel," Angela said, joining us. "At least as far as we could take it."

Rosalie and I nodded simultaneously. "There must be some place we could leave it until Emmett and I drive back," she added. "There will be a fine, but it's not like we can't afford it."

She smirked and went over to Emmett to peer over his shoulder. I felt marginally better now we had something of a plan. I didn't care where we went, so long as Angela felt safe and there was a suitable hunting ground.

"I think I found somewhere," Emmett announced a few minutes later. From the intrigue I was getting from the two of them, I knew it was good. "_Parco Naturale Regionale Adamello_. According to the website, it sits on land stretching 51,000 hectares. I had a look at some maps and there are a few places surrounded by mountains. Any human would have to be insane to even attempt it."

"It sounds good to me." Angela answered for the both of us. Now we had a name, she wanted to leave, and so did I.

"Emmett, you can keep searching to see what animals we might find up there." I looked at Rosalie. "For now, we should get moving. It's at least a three hour drive, and I'd rather search for this place in the dark than risk being seen in the daylight."

"Let's get moving, then," she said and nudged her husband into action. "We'll bring the car as close as we can."

We agreed, and a moment later they were gone as quickly as they came.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Angela admitted. "You know, people were scared of Emmett at school. He's nothing like my first impression of him."

"Rosalie isn't as bad as she tries to make out, either," I said, picking up on the words left unspoken. "She just takes a little longer to come around to new people."

Angela thought it over for a moment. "Do you think she will come around soon?"

"She will," I assured her. "It took nearly a month to let her guard down around me, but Alice? It was only a few days. I think she trusts females far quicker than she does men, especially ones covered in battle scars."

I knew where that originated from, of course, but like Esme's story, it wasn't mine to share. My phone went off, signifying they were ready. I checked the direction, and once our hands were joined, we were off.

"So, what about Emmett? When did he let his guard down?"

"About twenty minutes after I arrived," I told her. The memory elicited a smile. "He introduced himself and asked if I wanted to wrestle."

"Wrestle?" she echoed, amused.

I inclined my head. "Apparently no one else was willing. Honestly, I think he was just trying to put me at ease."

"He's good at that," she replied thoughtfully. We walked at a human pace for a while, only speaking when I told her we were getting close.

"You don't have to hold my hand when we're with them." She held back, making me face her. "It's not that I don't want them to know, I just...I want it to be between the two of us a little while longer. You don't mind, do you?"

I shook my head; in all honesty, what we had together was so new that I didn't want to share it with anyone else, anyway. I liked that we were the only ones who knew about us, so I told her exactly that. It was only a minute later that we came across their scent, and Angela duly let go of my hand. The road they'd parked on was relatively quiet in terms of nearby houses, and we were able to get in the car with ease.

It struck me as I settled that I could still smell Angela's human scent lingering in the air. The rush of nostalgia was surprising, but Angela's reaction was far bigger. She suddenly held her breath, her knuckles turning white as she fisted her hands.

I leaned across the chair to see her better. "You can smell that, can't you?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Emmett asked me as Angela nodded.

"That she's thirsty because of her own human scent?" I gave him a pointed look. "_Yeah_."

Angela's eyes widened a fraction. "This is what I smelt like to you?" she asked weakly, and soon enough she was lost in her own thoughts, leaving Emmett and I to continue on the subject.

"Is that possible? To actually make yourself thirsty?"

"It's possible," Rosalie said, and for a long time, she didn't elaborate. "I never came in contact with my human scent, but I imagine I would have had a similar reaction. Emmett's the same as I am, but, Jasper, you remained in the clothes you were turned in. You were in contact with it straight away, which could be a factor as to why newborns are so thirsty the moment they open their eyes."

It was certainly a theory, but from the tone of Rosalie's voice, it was clear she didn't want us to explore it any further. The clothes Carlisle found her in were destroyed, and the subject only reminded her. My ability clarified it. I chose not to make it obvious, and simply didn't reply. Emmett understood, even more than I did, and was soon focusing on his phone once again.

So I took to staring out the window. The drive was going to be long - a couple of hours more at the least. I studied Angela's emotions when I wasn't able to look at her. She was mostly just confused, and I pondered whether she was still thinking about her human scent. Even in its weak form, it was still intoxicating, yet as hard as it had been in the past month, there was a small part of me that would miss it.

Or was I simply going to miss Angela's human self? I couldn't be sure which, though I knew I wouldn't trade between the two. Now that Angela was a vampire, it made things easier in terms of being around her, and in a safe world, our time together would be unlimited. It was strange that it hadn't occurred to me how much I wanted it until it suddenly became possible.

"You're in for some luck, newbie," Emmett exclaimed, interrupting my thoughts. "You'll be hunting bear. They're the best kind."

"I'm going to hunt bear?" she asked, clearly distracted. "Do they taste better?"

"Marginally," Rosalie replied dryly before Emmett could respond. She and I both knew Emmett had the proclivity to make hunting bear far better than it really was. The last thing I wanted was for Angela's hopes to rise, thinking she'd find something better to hunt. Rosalie wasn't far off when she said the difference was marginal. If the bear hadn't fed on meat in a while, you could barely taste the difference.

"So why am I in luck?"

"Because they will be extra irritable this time of year," he replied as though it explained everything. I smirked slightly as Rosalie looked at Angela in the rear view mirror.

"You'll have to excuse my oaf of a husband, Angela. He likes to play with his food."

"Don't listen to her," he mock whispered, then went on to roll his eyes. Angela grinned, her confusion dispersing. "She doesn't like bears the way I do."

"That would be because you were nearly mauled to death by one," she shot back, exasperated. It was an argument they'd had many times before. Rosalie hated them, and though she didn't say it, the thought of him dying back then scared her to death. It was a conclusion I'd come to myself, that she couldn't watch him aggravate a bear in front of her. The fear was irrational - no animal could ever do him harm, but love made even the impossible something to worry about.

"Was that why you became a vampire?" Angela inquired, shocked, I supposed, as anyone who had never come in contract with a bear would be.

For the next hour, Emmett told her everything he could remember about his human life, explaining the bear attack and how, back then, it wasn't all that uncommon. Angela was completely enthralled, asking questions when the opportunity arose. He was, I soon realised, the only vampire in the car who could willingly talk about any aspect of his past.

He kept the atmosphere light, right up until we reached the Alps. By that point, the list of things to thank him for had grown even longer.

Rosalie circled the area until a suitable place to park came up. We took everything with us, leaving nothing in case anything happened to the car while we were gone. The night sky was as dark as ever as we rushed towards the mountains. Angela stuck close to me, holding her breath even when we were so far in there was no chance we'd come in contact with a human.

We came across it maybe an hour or so later. Being so deep in the mountains, it was the most astounding natural beauty I'd ever come across. On all sides, mountains rose up, the valley in the middle stretching far and wide. Trees filled the centre, with a large lake dividing it into two halves. Even in the dark and without a proper scout of the area, I knew this would become our home for the coming year.

The four of us travelled together for a while longer until we reached level ground. We split up then, Rosalie and Emmett taking the outside route, while Angela and I made our way to the lake. It was our designated place to meet once they'd decided whether or not it was a suitable place for us to stay.

Angela took my hand the first chance she got, and we remained hand in hand all the way to our destination. I only let go to leave the bags by a nearby tree, then joined her at the edge of the lake.

"What do you think?" I asked, slipping an arm around her shoulder.

"It's perfect," she said, taking it all in. "Can we stay here?"

I pulled her closer, burying my face in her hair and closing my eyes. "I hope so."

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie had been with us nearly a week. In that time, we'd set up a kind of base, distinguished where we would find the best hunt, and worked out what our hunting process was going to be. Only three people would hunt at any one time – or alone, if Angela weren't with us.

Angela, on the other hand, always had a hunting partner. Even though it was almost impossible to come across humans, she still asked one of us to stay close. More often than not, I was the one who remained on watch while she hunted.

In between hunts, Rosalie introduced a series of activities I would never have associated with newborn vampires. She helped Angela to determine her speed, and work out what was a human speed and what wasn't. Angela's definition was still too fast.

The most productive was a throw and catch game. Angela would pair up with someone, and throw and catch rocks. It was a simple and harmless way for her to grow accustomed to her own strength and work out how much force to exert. More often than not, the rock would end up crumbling in her hand, but with an unlimited supply, the game continued.

When they started distancing themselves and throwing the rocks further, it soon turned into a competition. At least, it did for them. Emmett was always joking around and making Angela laugh. Even Rosalie was enjoying herself, yet my mind was too preoccupied to join in.

I'd spent the last two and a half years in a dark place, and the switch between that and suddenly having fun was a hard one, especially when there was so much else to think about.

It was on their fourth day with us they dropped the news. I noticed the hints in their behaviour, and concluded there was something they weren't telling me. I didn't press them because there were things Angela and I hadn't told _them_.

I never expected their secret to be the Volturi visiting them in America.

As they told us, Angela and I merely stared at them, frozen with undoubtedly hundreds of thoughts racing through our minds.

"They came a little over a month ago." Emmett spoke first. "There were five of them - the tracker, Felix, the witch twins and some kid Carlisle or Eleazar didn't recognise."

Angela picked up on the name she didn't recognise. "Who's Eleazar?"

"He's part of a coven similar to ours," Rosalie clarified. "They were visiting with us at the time, which could be why the Volturi left without causing too much drama. Eleazar seemed to think they were checking up on us."

The two of them then looked at me, but I couldn't find the words. My voice had deserted me completely. Though I didn't want to confirm it, I had a feeling Eleazar was right. They wouldn't have attacked, not after the way Aro spoke of his dreams. They were there to investigate what Aro had seem in my memories. The fact we were a big coven was quite an anomaly in the vampire world, not forgetting the fact Bella had been pregnant with Edward's child. There was no telling if that had ever happened before.

If there was one thing the Volturi liked, it was to see something firsthand.

"That's not all." I looked at Emmett sharply, who glanced at Rosalie with a cautious approach. "The new kid seemed to have an ability to cut off other abilities. It wasn't much, but Edward was able to catch a few glimpses..."

Emmett didn't continue, yet the look on his face made it clear this was something I'd wanted to hear. Or maybe I didn't, but I had to, anyway.

"What did he see?" I demanded evenly.

Rosalie let out a low breath. "He saw them destroying Maria's army."

I took a step back; what little oxygen I had left now forced from my body. _They went after Maria, too_? Everything I'd been a part of...he'd targeted them all. I only had to hope that Peter and Charlotte were safe from his reach. Like Maria, neither of them had anything Aro wanted.

Rosalie was trying to say something, but I didn't stick around to listen. Some people would have sought more answers, but I'd heard everything I needed to. I went far enough so they wouldn't hear me, then sat down and buried my face in open palms.

A month ago I was still travelling to see Angela, which meant he'd decided to do this before I even returned. Had we passed by them unaware? All that time, my family had no clue why the Volturi were visiting them. Having seen them destroying Maria's army, their visit must have been terrifying - and what of Maria? Was she even alive? Or had I sentenced my creator to death?

I felt every new consequence being added to the list, one after another with each new person it involved. Emmett and Edward still didn't know that Aro wanted them, too. What would that do to them? To know a price tag was placed on their heads.

I sat for another few minutes, hating the Volturi more and more, and hating my own decisions just as much. I sat until I wasn't alone any longer. I looked up to see Rosalie standing before me.

"Snap out of it," she said brusquely. I recognised her approach all too well, and this time, it only seemed to incense me.

"I'm not after a pity party, Rose," I snapped. "These problems are _real_; I can't just snap out of it because you say so."

"They're also in the past," she shot back. "Regardless of how real they are, you need to get over it and focus on what's right in front of you. If you blame yourself for what happened to Angela, then do something to balance it out."

After a moment of held gaze, I was the first to look away. Edward always had a problem with the way Rosalie dealt with things, whereas I used to side with her because in the end, she was most always on the right path. This was no exception, except it wasn't so easy to admit now it was directed at me.

The first sign of getting better was to acknowledge you had a problem. The only issue with that was I'd been telling myself the same thing for years. I knew I dwelled on what I'd done to others too much sometimes, but after all this time, I was stuck in my ways.

Rosalie sighed, and soon after, she took the spot beside me. "I'm sorry."

I glanced at her. "Sorry for what?"

I knew she wasn't apologising for what she said - Rosalie didn't say sorry when she knew she was right, and this instance was no different.

"I'm sorry for the fact, despite everything I said, I know you won't let this go," she replied simply. "You need to try, though, Jasper. She knows where your head's at, and it isn't helping her improve."

"How do I change?" I said, noticing how the tables had so suddenly turned. "It's all I can think about sometimes."

"You need to focus on the present." She looked ahead of us distantly. "You know, I let him darken my thoughts for nearly a decade. I let him come between Emmett and me. Don't make the same mistake I did."

It wasn't often she mentioned Royce, not so openly like this. She only ever brought him up when she had something important to get across. So I used her pause to think about what she said. I hadn't been around when she dealt with the aftermath of what happened, but there was no denying the similarities.

The Volturi were weighing on nearly all of my thoughts, and there were times when I'd allowed them to taint the way I was around Angela. That was plain to see. What Rosalie hadn't said was it hurt Angela whenever she saw me like that.

"There will come a point when it won't be so hard," she said, getting to her feet. It was clear our talk was over.

"When's that?" I asked, not expecting a definite answer.

Yet she had one. "When she makes you happy," she replied, and then she walked away without saying another word.

* * *

As each new day came, I tried to do as Rosalie suggested and focus on the present. It wasn't easy. The vampire mind was vast and complex, meaning you could be thinking about a number of different things at any one time, and that only made it harder for me to concentrate on just the one. It was clear both Rosalie and Emmett knew of my attempts, and did their best to subtly include me in their games.

There were times when I got the impression Rosalie was giving Angela and I time alone. Her hints weren't obvious enough to indicate she knew we were together. I didn't feel it in her emotions, either, and that was always the first place to look if I thought she was catching on. It was as though she simply thought it was what we needed - and it was, of course.

When we were alone, it was far easier to focus on her and not think about the bad things that plagued my thoughts.

"A penny for them," Angela said while she draped her wet shirt over a tree branch. She'd been down by the lake washing out various stains she'd come across. Apparently I hadn't moved or responded since she'd started.

"I'm just thinking about the way they keep giving us time alone."

Her eyebrows rose. "Do you think they know?"

I shook my head, swiftly pulling her into my lap when she wandered over. "Emmett would have said something by now," I assured her. "I think they know I find it easier not to dwell on things when I'm with you."

I tightened my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder. We sat quietly, her fingers slipping under my sleeve to trace circles across my arm.

"I'm trying," I said a while later. "I want to focus on right now instead of constantly worrying how I will keep you and my family safe."

She shifted a little so she could face me. "You _are_ keeping me safe, Jasper."

When she finished, I reached up and cupped her cheek. We were both so tentative around each other, considering how new our relationship was, but it was slowly starting to evolve. Every moment alone was spent close together, hand in hand of pressed against skin. Whenever I kissed her, it awoke feelings I'd assumed were long forgotten, and slowly we started to deepen our embraces.

We never went far, and I suppose we never could while Rosalie and Emmett were close by. A lesson in control, Angela called it. A very different one to all the others, but one we could both take part in nonetheless.

"I like this place," Angela said idly just as dawn was breaking. "It's nice and quiet; just how I like it."

My eyes flickered open at the sound of her voice. For the last few hours, we hadn't felt the need to talk. With Angela on my lap, one arm around her while the other sat loosely across her thigh, I hadn't needed anything more.

"You'll like it with the Cullens, then," I told her, thinking of the various places we lived in the last few decades. "They always find a quiet area to live."

"Even with Emmett around?" she asked, amusement touching her tone.

"Don't let him hear you say that. It'll give him a free pass to tease you," I warned in mock seriousness before sobering again. "Emmett is actually the easiest person to be around. With seven people under the same roof, it could get a little...overwhelming sometimes."

"Because of your ability?" she guessed, sitting up.

I nodded. "It's a little too much, at times. I like my peace and quiet, too."

"Well, it's a good thing you've got me, then," she said with a smile, and leant forward to press a kiss to my cheek.

A little while later, we reluctantly left our spot and waited for the others to return, knowing it wouldn't be long. They arrived not half an hour later, so I took a seat under a shaded tree and watched the morning unfold. There really wasn't much to do in such a remote place as this, and the girls soon headed down to the lake to discuss the things Rosalie would leave behind. When they started talking about clothes, I zoned out and watched Emmett throw stones across the clearing.

Soon enough, the pair returned. "Angela and I are heading out," Rosalie said, making it clear neither Emmet nor I were to come. It was the first time the two of them were going anywhere together, and I was surprised enough not to say a word as Emmett waved them off. I could only watch them going, taking in the gentle shimmer of light coming off Angela's skin.

The first time she'd seen herself in sunlight was our first morning in the valley. The sun had come up early, and for nearly an hour, she stood and marvelled at the changes. I knew then, and even more now that she was mesmerising, and just like Alice, she turned something I avoided into something beautiful.

We'd been alone for maybe a minute when Emmett got up and dropped into the space beside me. "She'll be fine."

"What?" I asked absently, still watching the place they went out of sight.

"Angela," he clarified. "Rose will look after her. Even if we were in that place you holed up when you were waiting for us. She would have kept Angela safe."

I finally focused on Emmett. "I know she will."

There was no way to explain my uneasiness of seeing them leave without us, but I appreciated Emmett's attempts to make me feel better.

"I get it, you know," he said. "Carlisle was the same when I went out with Rose. He always used to come along, so it was hard to let us go alone. Plus he was protective of his girls, and letting her go off with a big newborn like me...you can imagine the rest."

The latter part made me smile. He still was very protective of his girls. It wasn't hard to imagine that the little girl they'd shown me pictures of had soon slipped into the category, too. Carlisle was a father in every sense but one, and nothing would change that.

"I'm guessing you're the one helping her change," he went on unexpectedly. I bristled, half expecting one of his jokes. Instead, he let out a laugh. "Carlisle had to help with mine. Not the kind of help I would have hoped for, but he wouldn't let Rose or Esme near me. But come on, can you blame a guy for enjoying pretty women trying to remove his clothes?"

He nudged me with his shoulder, grinning like a schoolboy. I rolled my eyes in response. "The same pretty woman you now refer to as your mother."

"Semantics," he replied, shrugging. "You can't judge my addled, newborn brain."

"And yet you still find the thought amusing," I said wryly, watching his eyes narrow.

"I see you haven't lost your sarcasm," he muttered, and grumbled something I couldn't decipher. I smirked, knowing he'd see it. Emmett always had a way of eliciting those kinds of remarks out of me. It was probably why, as far as being brothers went, we were the closest. A lot of the time, things like this led to some kind of fight. It was a way for Emmett to come out on top by using his strength.

It rarely worked, of course, but I couldn't sense that happening now. There was something he wanted to discuss; I could feel it. When it came down to talking about something, Emmett was as subtle in his approach as Rosalie was direct. He was also just as obvious.

"You know, I was thinking...Rose and I will be going in just over a week, and you haven't really hunted with Angela yet."

_So that was it_, I thought.

"I know you want to keep an eye on her, and everything," he continued in his matter of fact voice. "But you can't starve yourself."

"I'm not starving myself," I retorted.

He looked at my dubiously. "It kind of looks like it from here."

"I've gone a lot longer with a lot less," I said - and I had. I certainly wasn't trying to starve myself, regardless of what he might have thought. There wasn't much of a simple answer as to why I wasn't hunting, though. I wasn't as thirsty out here, and I preferred to let Angela have free range. When I was alone with Alice, I hadn't hunted often then, either. I hadn't needed to.

Yet I kept quiet. Anything I did say would sound like an excuse...and maybe it was, but for something I couldn't see.

"You don't need to test your limits..."

I sighed. There was no convincing him. "I told Angela you were the easiest person to spend time with. Are you trying to make me retract that statement?"

Emmett's expression remained resolute, but his emotions said something else. My comment made him happy, like a child at Christmas. I suppressed a smile. It was nice to know a few simple words could make him feel better.

"I'm just saying-" He held up his hands in mock surrender. "-nothing bad will happen while you turn your back to hunt."

There was a pause, and then Emmett added, "If you don't at least say you're going to try, I'll have no choice but to send Rose out here to talk to you."

Having already been on the receiving end of one of her talks, I didn't want another. "Fine," I said begrudgingly. "Next time she goes hunting, I'll go with her."

"And actually feed?" he pressed, to which I raised an incredulous eyebrow. He grinned and settled down, satisfied that I would do as he requested.

With nothing but the natural sounds around us, I was able to close my eyes for a while. I could feel exactly what I told Angela about spending time with Emmett. Right up until he nudged me again. I opened my eyes to his grinning face.

"I like spending time with you, too," he said lightly, and was still smiling to himself when Rosalie and Angela returned an hour later.

* * *

**A/N****: Let me know what you think!**

**While the location they are staying in is real, the fact that it is inaccessible to humans is something I added myself. For the sake of the story, you'll have to imagine that it is. I'll be adding some pictures I found to my blog soon.**

**There are teasers available for reviewers...**


	27. Chapter 26

**A/N****: Chapter 26!**

**Thanks to idealskeptic for making me feel better about certain scenes, and to all my readers who have stuck with me this far.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Twilight, but I turned Angela into a vampire.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Scars and Souvenirs**

There was a definite sadness in the air as we made our way to the edge of the valley. It was as far as Jasper and I were going to see them off. They had stayed with us for just under three weeks and aside from when Jasper and I were alone, the four of us had been together at all times. Though it wasn't easy with Rosalie at first, I'd grown close to the both of them.

Jasper was quieter than usual. During the last week and a half, he was far more involved than our first week together. They hadn't admitted it, but it was clear the two of them talked to Jasper and helped him out of the funk he spiralled into when a quiet moment allowed his thoughts to wander.

It was the kind of thing I had no control over. They'd known him decades longer than me and knew exactly what to say.

"_He has his moments_," Emmett had told me one time he'd caught me watching Jasper worriedly. "_You just have to be there when he comes back_."

It was a comfort to see he only seemed to fall into that pattern when Rosalie, Emmett and I had been doing something he wasn't participating in. When we were alone, there was no denying Jasper was _there_ with me, and not dwelling over something else. Right now, though, he was just sad to see them go.

"How long will you two stay out here?" Rosalie asked once we reached the point we were due to part ways.

"Until we reach the year mark, for sure," Jasper replied, then looked at me. "After that...it's however long it takes."

This was one of the things we'd talked about in the past week. There were only two ways for us to get back to the States - by swimming across the Atlantic or flying. Neither of us wanted to swim such a long distance, but flying meant we had to do it commercially. I'd entertained a distant hope that Carlisle owned an airplane Jasper had neglected to tell me about, but the dream was squashed. If that were at all possible, we would've been home already.

Flying with a plane full of people meant I had to be restrained enough to not kill them in seconds. At present, I couldn't envisage that happening.

"Well, don't be a stranger while you're out here," Emmett said, more to Jasper than me. "Call and let us know how you guys are doing. Especially Esme, she'll be glad to hear your voice."

Jasper nodded, and then the goodbyes commenced. Rosalie hugged Jasper first before offering the same to me. I thanked her for everything, including the things she'd left behind from her own belongings, while Jasper and Emmett said goodbye. When Emmett walked up, he held out his hand. I shook it firmly, rushing to apologise when I saw him wince.

"No harm done, newbie," he said with a grin. "We'll test how strong you are when you come home."

"I'm not going to wrestle you," I replied, trying to sound stern, but failing miserably when I caught the smile on Jasper's face. It was clear he was noticing the same thing I was - that Emmett had accepted my home was with them now.

Emmett laughed. "There are other ways without having to fight like a man."

I merely shook my head at him. Time was getting on, and they had a flight to catch later that afternoon. Not a minute afterwards, they said a final goodbye and walked away. We watched them go, then turned away and returned to what would be our home for the next year and more.

Jasper remained quiet all the way back, only talking when he asked me to sit with him. When he pulled me close, I curled myself around him, closing my eyes when I felt the safety of his arms. Be it intentional or not, he projected a calm aura over the both of us, lulling me into something akin to sleep.

I was brought back with a kiss. It surprised me when I opened my eyes to a considerably later hour. When we'd said goodbye to Rosalie and Emmett, it hadn't been much after dawn.

"How long have we been out?" I asked, sitting up.

"A little over twelve hours."

My eyebrows rose, though common sense had me guessing about the same, anyway. _How_? He took the question right off my lips.

"It's my fault - sometimes when I relax like this, I project what I'm feeling onto those around me." He paused as a reminiscent smile appeared. "I used to do it with Alice. I guess it only works if you're touching. She used to say it was like sleeping..."

"She was right," I agreed, noticing that Jasper was mentioning Alice more and more recently. It was always going to be a hard topic to discuss, but I wouldn't stop him from mentioning her, and I hoped it would never come across that I would. Alice was a huge part of him, and I didn't want to ignore that. I didn't push him to talk, though, and when he moved on, I let him.

"There is something I've been meaning to tell you about," he told me while his fingers played with the hem of my shirt. "You've seen me fight, and you've seen my scars for what they really are. It's about time you heard the stories behind them."

Although he didn't ask me to move, I shifted so I was sitting in front of him. Whatever his story was, I wanted to make sure he had the space to tell it.

"I was seventeen when I joined the Confederate Army," he began. "I lied about my age to get in early. Back then, it didn't seem to matter. My mama always used to say I was charismatic, but now I know it was more than that."

I knew my history well enough to recollect the Confederate Army was part of the American Civil War in the 1860's. Jasper had fought in the _Civil War_.

"Not quite," he said when I repeated my realisation aloud. "I never really saw any real fighting. People liked me and I was promoted above my seniors. I soon became the youngest Major in the Texas cavalry."

_Major Jasper Whitlock_..._Major Jasper Whitlock_...I rolled the title around my mind. The name worked; it had a certain ring to it.

"I was nineteen when Maria found me. She wasn't alone at the time; she travelled with two other women." He shook his head. "I hadn't stood a chance."

I recognised the name from Jasper's story of how he took down Victoria, and the newborn army Rosalie said the Volturi destroyed. I knew very little of their time together, and there was a chance my opinion of her would change after today, but I had to hope her life was spared. She was the reason Jasper was here, after all.

"I can remember the first time I was bitten." Jasper rolled up his sleeve and indicated to a cluster of scars along his wrist. "I hadn't even been a vampire a week, and one of the other newborns tried to attack me. I did what any soldier would do in danger - I defended myself. I hadn't realised my creator was watching."

"Was it staged? The fight?"

I thought back on everything I'd heard about Maria and her newborn armies. I didn't know what she created them for, but she was still doing so up until recently. An army meant she was looking for, or expecting a fight, and if Jasper had been in a fight she was observing, there was a good chance it was on purpose.

"It's possible," he conceded after a moment. "It was certainly the day she started watching me closely. I suppose I was her star pupil."

There was something bitter in his voice, an inflection I chose to let slide. And when he spoke again, I could tell the gap he'd left in his story was a time he didn't want to talk about.

"My newborn life was different to my soldier life," he said. I curled my hand around his when he reached for it. "The only similarity was that I moved up the ranks quickly. Except, this time, no one else did. She made me her second in command...the one who did her dirty work."

His darkened expression had my mind flipping through scenarios, guessing what it was she made him do. I didn't want to ask; these were the things that darkened his thoughts, so he had to be the one to approach the subject. All I could do was wait to see just how much he wanted to share with me.

"You would be at the training stage right now," he eventually said, not looking at me. "She left me in charge of that. Made me be the one to punish them, to be the one they feared...and when some were lucky enough to survive the countless battles, she made me kill them when she no longer thought they were needed."

At first, I didn't say anything. There was nothing I could say to change the things he had to do. What happened had happened, and nothing would make him forget that...but I could at least try to make it easier to process, because it was exactly what I did for myself.

"You were in a war, albeit a different war to the one you first joined. But the basics are the same," I said, all the while thinking ahead for the right words to explain it. "You had to do the necessary things to survive. It was an order you had to follow - a hard one, but unavoidable all the same. She made you do it because she _could_."

Jasper looked up as I finished, the harshness in his expression had faded a little. "You always have a way of making things easier to cope with. You find the rational way of looking at it." He lifted my hand and kissed it. "Thank you."

I gave his hand a squeeze. "I was brought up to think of the rational explanation rather than settling for the confusion or first impression."

"Another thing to be thankful to your parents for," he said gently, before returning to his story. I was silently glad my slight interruption hadn't put him off. I wanted to know everything he was willing to tell me, and I wanted to help him however I could.

"It was never something I enjoyed, and I was forever trying to suggest newborns I saw promise in, but Maria had trust issues," he went on, continuing exactly where he left off. I wondered briefly whether that was where Jasper's own trust issues originated. "She finally said yes, and allowed one of them to live. I think she realised I wanted him to live more than the others."

When he paused for breath, I saw the echoes of a smile. "His name was Peter. He became _my_ second in command. Though I could tell he wasn't cut out for the long haul."

"What happened to him?" I asked. I wasn't one hundred percent certain, but I was fairly confident Peter was still alive. The way Jasper talked about his once second in command didn't hint that anything bad happened to him.

"He fell in love with one of the newborns called Charlotte." This time, his smile was more prominent. "When her time was up, Peter ran with her. He got her away from that life, and five years later, he did the same for me."

I was smiling now, too. This man, whoever he was, had come back for Jasper. Had Maria not let Peter live, what would've become of Jasper? Would he have ever been able to leave? I couldn't be sure he'd be here today.

"I spent nearly eighty years with Maria, getting all of these scars to show of it," he said, and signalled to his arms. "I always imagined if I left Maria's army, death would follow me. That I would have to fight every vampire I came across. I wanted to leave, but the twisted safety her army created stopped me many times. Near the end, it became clear it wouldn't last. I even planned to kill her..."

His admittance surprised me enough to ask the first question that came to mind. "Do you think you would have done it, had Peter not come back?"

"I don't know," he said, and I could see, even now, he genuinely didn't know if he would have gone through with it. "I'm just glad Peter came back when he did. He showed me there was another way of life, and not just constant battles over territory."

It was kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that when all of this was happening, my parents hadn't even been born yet. Jasper had lived such a long life, so much of which I still didn't know about - and so much more I _wouldn't_ know about, just as he wouldn't know every aspect of my much shorter life. I would know enough, though, and the fact he hadn't moved on told me this conversation wasn't over yet.

"Did she ever come after you?"

He shook his head. "I know she sensed my dedication wavering. If I stayed, or had she come to bring me back, it would have resulted in one of us killing the other, and she knew that. I liked to think that everything we'd been through was enough for her to let me go...I guess it was."

The situation wasn't hard to imagine. It was, however, hard to put myself in that circumstance. To have been through so much with someone, having endured all that pain, only to reach the point you actually considered killing them. I wasn't to know what would have ultimately led the pair to do such a thing, but it was a real testament to just how much Jasper had been through.

Everything I'd heard so far made me love him more. I was yet again reminded he was the strongest person I knew, to have been in the position to make decisions like that, and still be able to change his life around.

"I don't think I will ever get used to this," he said, his smile returning when my eyes questioned him. "I mean your absolute faith in me. I was wary that some of this might scare you, but I'm glad it didn't. When I told you about my past, I had to tell you properly, so you could understand...who I was."

"I understand a lot better now," I agreed. "I'm glad you decided to tell me, but you don't have to worry about scaring me. Nothing you say could scare me. In fact, I think I've already told you something similar..."

"Yes, and the first time I saw you, you asked me why you would be scared of me." He shook his head as though he still didn't quite believe it. "Human or vampire, I don't think it matters. I just know you will always continue to surprise and baffle me in equal measures."

With a grin, I leaned forward and surprised him once again with a kiss. "So, what happened once you were with Peter and Charlotte?"

His expression grew wistful. "I wish I could say it got better, but it was hard whenever I had to hunt. You can't imagine what it feels like to go through your victims last emotions, knowing you're the one causing them. There was nothing I could do. If I tried to distance my hunts, the thirst darkened my mood. In the end, I had to leave. They were happy and I wasn't; I couldn't force that upon them. Things only improved in 1948."

"Was that when you found Alice?" I guessed.

"It was more she found me, but yes." He faltered over a memory, perhaps. Like earlier, I could tell he was editing parts he wanted to keep to himself. "We found the Cullens in 1950, and by that point, I was practicing the vegetarian diet; badly, but still trying."

"And you stayed with them ever since?" He nodded mutely, and I knew it was time for something a little lighter for a while. "Tell me about living through those eras. I can't imagine you in the seventies..."

My choice of topic proved to be a good one because we spent the next hour talking about the various things they got up to. Such as the first time he drove a car, and how Rosalie had been the one to teach him.

He told me stories of Emmett embracing the variety of fashions, yet Edward refusing many of them. He was more melancholy when he said that Alice was the most dedicated to fashion, and he only really changed his style because she wanted him to.

It surprised me that the first time he went to school was in the mid-eighties, and only after he'd depleted both Carlisle and Edward's vast library of books, and studied everything he could at home, anyway. It was clear those forty years had been spent trying to accustom himself to being around human scents, and it was obvious even now that the thought of going to school surrounded by hormonal teenagers was scary.

I honestly couldn't blame him for putting it off for so long, but I was also glad he had. The confidence he must have gained from knowing he could do it was immense, and though I didn't want to redo school over and over again, I hoped that one day I would be in the same position.

Alice was the one helping Jasper, and now he was the one helping me.

He ended his talk with things even I could remember, stopping when he reached Forks. When he finished, he pulled me to my feet, and when I questioned him whether we were going somewhere, his response was, "There's still one thing I haven't told you about."

I tried not to react as he shrugged out of his jacket and removed his t-shirt. I couldn't be sure I really managed it. My eyes wandered for a few seconds before I reminded myself he was doing this to show me his scars. They were always a point of interest for me, so it wasn't long before the marks on his body distracted me from the fact he was shirtless.

His arms were the most targeted, thinning out as they went higher. A few clustered around his neck and jaw, with one randomly placed scar - smaller than the rest, on his left side in line with his ribs. There was something intimate about it, having been placed by his heart. The angle was too awkward to be from an attacker, which meant it could only have come from one person - Alice.

I looked away, allowing him the privacy of that particular story.

Of course, there was only one other scar that was different to the others, and my eyes landed on it quickly. I could still only see what I'd seen the first time, and was itching to circle behind him to see the full extent of the damage.

"Go ahead," he said after reading my expression. "It's the only scar you haven't seen in full."

Once I moved, I couldn't stop the small expulsion of air leaving my body. The scar didn't stop at his neck, it curved around his shoulder blade, tracing a menacing pattern down his back to stop at the bottom of his ribcage.

"How-?" was all I managed to get out.

"It happened during one of our toughest battles. I was targeted by three newborns. It happened so fast that I don't really remember much else other than the pain..." He stopped, and I guessed it was because of the place that particular memory took him. "I should have died that day..."

I swallowed heavily, unable to drag my eyes away from the scar. What I said earlier, about him not being able to scare me was completely wrong. The thought of losing him - even before I'd known him, was truly terrifying, and hearing him say there was a time when it could have come true was the optimum fear.

"I'll spare you the details of how they managed it," he said, looking over his shoulder. "Just that they were stopped. I never expected anyone would help me, especially not one of the newborns."

"Where was Maria?" I asked, and tried not to let it come across as an accusation. I wasn't sure I hid it well - I couldn't help it. If he was so important to her, why hadn't she been there to help him?

"She wasn't there. It meant I was in charge, which is why they tried to take me down. It was Peter who saved my life."

At the mention of this stranger who had now saved Jasper's life twice, I was overcome with emotions. He hadn't needed to risk his life, yet he'd put himself in danger to save the life of the man who led him there.

"He managed to get me far enough away from the fight to heal the wound, but he was panicking," Jasper went on. "If I'd been more conscious, I would have healed the wound with my own venom. The scar is so jagged because Peter did it himself...but it saved both our lives."

"Is that why you saved him later?"

He nodded. "After doing what he did, I couldn't kill him, though I wasn't lying when I said he showed promise. He was one of the best fighters we had...I owe him so much."

I wordlessly closed the gap between us and circled my arms around him from behind. There was nothing I could say apart from simply thanking God that Jasper hadn't died that day or any other. If I ever met Peter, I would owe him, too.

Jasper turned in my arms, encasing me in his strong hold. I nestled against him, never wanting to let him go.

"It's just a scar now," he reassured me gently. "Nothing like that will happen again."

"It's the thought of something happening to you back then..."

"I know," he replied, his voice full of understanding. I closed my eyes tight, his scar beneath my fingertips. Yet it still wasn't close enough.

I kissed the curve of his neck, relishing in the warms of his skin beneath my lips. When I reached his jaw, he moved in tandem with me, sensing, as always, my need to be closer. I tangled my fingers into his hair, mirroring the way the hand on the base of my spine held me in place.

The kiss was everything we held back for the past few weeks, everything we hadn't wanted to acknowledge when there was no way we could act upon it. That there was a hunger between us, a clear-cut desire to consummate what we had together.

I leaned away just enough to see into his eyes. "Would you like to go for a swim?"

He nodded wordlessly and took my hand when I offered it to him. I studied him briefly as we reached the water's edge, but saw no conflict in his eyes. Only a burning intensity as he watched every movement.

My arms rose, allowing him to remove my shirt, where he went on to kiss me as I stepped out of my pants. Having only ever been intimate with one other person, I expected nerves to hit me, yet as I slowly moved back, letting my hand slip from his, nerves were the furthest thing from my mind.

A smirk curved his lips as he watched me move backwards, only breaking eye contact when my feet hit water. I faced forward and reached behind me to unclasp my bra. Soon I was dropping it to the floor, and as I entered the water, I heard Jasper swallow. I glanced over my shoulder, smiling when I caught him staring. Even as I slowly moved out, I could feel his eyes on me, and I basked in the way he was responding to me.

I stopped as it reached waist height, and closed my eyes. There was a light breeze, creating barely any disturbance in the otherwise peaceful area. All I could hear was the slight rustle of leaves and a ripple in the water. Then from behind me, I heard Jasper's clothes hit the ground.

I remained motionless as he approached me, only responding when I felt his fingers brush my side. He swept hair off my shoulder, his touches gentle. I leaned into him, my back flush against his chest as he kissed along my shoulder. Heat shot through me, an instant reaction to the way he traced my breast, his attention growing stronger the more I responded.

"Angela," he said breathlessly once his lips trailed along my jaw. I pressed myself into him more and instinctively curled my hand around his thigh as he slipped a hand beneath the hem of my panties. My breathing grew heavier with every caress of his finger and every motion of his hips against mine.

I reached up into his hair, pulling him round for a messy kiss over my shoulder. A moan built up in the back of my throat, making him pause for just a moment. I gasped, breaking the kiss as his grasp bunched around the remaining material and tore them from my body.

In an instant he spun me around and pressed his mouth to mine in a hungry kiss. I didn't resist when he lifted me up and guided my legs around his waist. I clutched either side of his face and poured everything I felt and wanted into the touch. I could see it in his darkened eyes; we were both ready to go back to the shore.

He didn't rush how I expected him to. Instead, he carried me slowly, his gaze never leaving mine. When we reached land again, he laid me down on a patch of grass and moved to hover above me.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you something more," he said, his voice thick with lust, but also the need to apologise for our current surroundings.

I shushed him with a smile and wrapped my legs around his. "You've given me so much already."

No response was necessary as we joined together. He stilled, our hands tight against one another before finding the perfect rhythm. We moved together, fingers roaming everywhere we could reach, our gasps of pleasure being lost among the trees.

Our peaks followed one another, bodies trembling.

As the high began to fade, Jasper pressed his face against my neck and murmured, "Te amo, mi luz guía. _Te amo_."

The words tumbled over each other, yet my breath still caught as I comprehended the repeated phrase. He'd spoken in Spanish, but I recognised the words the same way I would have recognised their English counterpart.

"I love you, too," I replied, my voice shaking with happiness.

I hadn't expected him to say it, nor had I entertained the thought of him uttering those very words to me so soon. The notion that I would be waiting for him to be ready to say it had left a bitter feeling in my chest...but now he had said it.

Holding him close, I shut my eyes once again. With the feeling he was smiling against my neck, I couldn't have asked for a moment more perfect than this.

* * *

Somehow, I got the feeling he'd relaxed me into a sleep-like haze once again, as when I opened my eyes, he was laying against my chest, our legs tangled and his fingers tracing circles across my stomach. It was comforting, and I liked the idea of almost _sleeping_ together the way we would have done were we human.

I lifted my hand from where it was draped across his back and started running it through his hair, burying it into the softness.

"It's beautiful tonight," I said softly as I watched the clear night sky. "The stars are so prominent."

Jasper turned his head and looked up. "Yes, they are...though I'm only just starting to appreciate them again."

"Hmm?"

He glanced away and shifted so his lips were against my skin. "For the first century of my vampire life, stars signified danger. That was when armies would attack, and for a long time after, everything was just...dark."

"And now?" I pressed lightly, yet not letting my attention stray.

"Now," he went on, sitting up to bring our faces closer. "Now all I will think about is you laying here beneath them, _mi luz guía_."

My fingertip ghosted across his lips. "What does it mean?"

"My guiding light," he replied simply. With that, he leant down and kissed me.

Dawn was breaking by the time we got up. We dressed slowly, stray kisses and wandering hands making the task take longer. When we were finally fully dressed, we cleared away the clothes from the night before and spent a portion of the morning searching for a place to build our makeshift home.

Once we found somewhere suitable, we decided to do one of Rosalie's ingenious tasks of throwing and catching. While Jasper scouted the area for rocks, I found a few on the ground and practiced one of the games I'd created for myself, where I threw a rock and caught it at the other end.

The first two I caught, but as I called for Jasper to watch, the third crumbled in my hand from overexcitement.

As I looked down at the powdered rock, I knew I still had a long way to go.

* * *

**A/N****: Let me know what you think! I'll send a teaser with every review reply.**

**Poor idealskeptic had to put up with me whinging over that final scene. Let's just say those kind of scenes rarely leave my mind *perv***

**_Te amo, mi luz guía = I love you, my guiding Light_****. Thanks to vegetarianvamps for the Spanish translation.**

**A random fact - I've always imagined that whenever Jasper declares how much someone means to him, he associates and uses a certain language. For instance, he spoke to Esme in French, because that was the language she taught him, and he first tells Angela he loves her in Spanish because, to me, that's something right at the heart of who he is. He learnt that language through Maria, and when Angela 'found' him, he had already reverted to the person he used to be during that period - Jasper Whitlock, as opposed to Jasper Hale.**

**It makes sense in my mind, at least ;)**


	28. Chapter 27

**A/N: Chapter 27!**

**This chapter has caused me trouble at every stage. I'm so glad it's finished! Idealskeptic makes things better. Thank you, readers, new and old. Your continued support keeps me going. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Preparation**

**Fifteen Months Later**

I stared at myself in the mirror. Though the crack down the middle was obscuring my view, it was still clear enough to make out the person staring back at me. The eyes were golden, a little darker than Jasper's, but gold all the same.

Just as he'd assured me.

It was nice to know my doubts about my eye colour were unfounded...because, of course, I doubted him. I couldn't comprehend how they'd possibly be gold instead of the blood red they'd once been, even though I knew Jasper had fed on human blood in the past.

Sixteen months had passed since I last saw my reflection. Though fleeting, the moment had stuck with me. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn't seen my reflection since. This mirror was a blessing, of sorts, coming at the right time. I'd found it, broken, muddy, and abandoned on the ground nearer to civilisation; lost, perhaps, on a camping trip with friends.

After cleaning it, I'd sat down and not looked away since. Right now, I was trying to find myself in the stranger before me. It wasn't easy; my memory was blurry, as were many things from my previous life, my features being one of them. There were a few similarities, but only a handful at the most. The curves of my lips, the shape of my eyes, but my cheekbones were more defined and my chin a little less round.

I'd been staring into it for an hour now, not quite being able to find the answers I sought. Jasper was watching me for at least half that time. I was certain he was wondering what I was doing, or perhaps just what I was looking for. After a couple minutes, I finally lowered the mirror. Whatever it was, I wasn't going to find it.

"Everything okay?" Jasper asked when I didn't move from where I was crouching in front of our things. I stood up and crossed the clearing to sit beside him.

"Do I look different?" I asked vaguely.

"Different?"

I nodded, gnawing at my lip. "From when I was human. Would people recognise me?"

"If you're worried about people not recognising you anymore...don't be." He slid a finger under my chin and guided me round to look him in the eye. "There are a few changes, but nothing substantial enough to make you unrecognisable. Your eyes and the paleness of your skin are the biggest differences by far."

I mulled it over, knowing that logically, they would be the first thing someone would notice, anyway. I was always pale, but my new pallor beat it hands down...and my eyes? There was no mistaking those.

"I was invited to a wedding in Forks, before you came back for me. I don't know if it went ahead." I sighed absently. "I guess I can't go, even if the date hasn't been set."

"I'm sorry. Right now, it's just not possible."

Shrugging weakly, I leaned against him. "It wouldn't be as fun without a date by my side, anyway."

"I'm sorry about that, too," he replied in a far lighter tone, as he slipped his arm around me. "I'm kind of infamous around those parts."

I laughed at his joke, even though the truth was saddening. There was no way the Cullens could ever return to Forks because of what happened to Bella. I'd found out along the way that Charlie had been informed Bella died during childbirth.

It saddened me to know Charlie hadn't been able to go to a funeral, or even mourn the loss of his daughter properly. The only good point was to hear that Charlie knew about Renesmee. A few years ago, he'd married a woman from the Quileute tribe, and their ancestral secrets were shared with him…including that of the Cullens.

For once, things had worked out for the best. Charlie was no longer alone, and had the chance to meet his only grandchild.

The whole thing had me thinking about my own circumstance. When I went with Jasper, my parents were already gone, and I was long since estranged from any relatives. I hadn't left anything I couldn't live without…unlike Bella. The truth was, had I been in her position, I wasn't sure I would have been able to leave my parents the way she had.

It was something Jasper and I discussed, imagining what it would have been like had we been in that situation. He admitted that, though real, her love for Edward always had a hint of fantasy about it, as though it outranked everything by default. I'd seen it with my own eyes, and wondered later how much my love for Jasper differed.

I never did ask.

The last fifteen months had been long but peaceful, and even though we were pretty much cut off from the outside world, I wouldn't have changed a single minute of it.

For a long while, we'd worked endlessly to perfect my ability to determine different strengths. I learnt how to grasp things without breaking them. I learnt to change my clothes without tearing the thin material…I even learnt how to walk like a human. It was a very odd experience having to re-educate myself on things that should have come naturally.

Hunting was the only thing that _did _come naturally, and soon I'd found my preference for larger prey, and stopped making a mess. Seeing Jasper come away barely scathed had me taking my time rather than going for whatever I was closest to.

The lesson that proved most enjoyable was learning how to jump certain distances, and knowing just how much force to apply. During that period, I'd come to a very amusing revelation that Jasper was just as competitive as Emmett. Our jumping exercises soon turned into a competition of who could jump the furthest.

It was also the first time I'd heard Jasper laugh…really laugh. At the time, I'd assured him I could jump far enough to pass a mud-clogged stream. Landing in it would be messy, but that was what made our little bets interesting. He assured me I wouldn't make it, and as chivalrous as he was, he let me go first.

Needless to say, I ended up knee-deep in mud. Jasper had laughed the whole way over, only sobering enough to dodge the handful of mud I'd slung at him. After that, I'd made it my mission to make him laugh more. There was nothing so rewarding as seeing him let go and _laugh_.

The other thrill, of course, was watching him come undone by my touch. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. That aspect of our relationship had thrived, and with no interruptions, there were days when we hadn't left the nest we'd created for ourselves.

Once I reached the year mark, I knew it was time we discussed our plans for the coming future. All along Jasper said we would stay in the valley for my first year, then work on it until we were ready. It was very easy to say we could spend years in the same place – it was possible, but we wanted to go home eventually, and the only way to do that was to travel on a plane full of people.

There was only so much I could do to prepare myself without coming in contact with human scents. Being more refined when running and walking, meant I had better control over my own body…but that didn't change a thing the first time we ventured out towards civilisation.

We'd agreed not to go far – only enough to catch the hint of scents from the village. Jasper promised to never let go of me, and should he need to, he would be stern and hard in his approach, as nice and calm wouldn't get through to me.

The first time we went out, I'd fought with all I had to remain in control, but the desirous and thirsty side of me fought harder. Jasper did exactly as promised, and led me away when it became too much. I hadn't spoken for an hour after, and when I finally did speak, it was to tell him I wanted to try again tomorrow.

That was two months ago now, and every day since we ventured out a little further than before. There were stages when it felt as though it was getting harder rather than easier, but then, every step we took brought about a tougher challenge.

Like today, for instance. The mirror had been somewhat of a distraction from what we were going to do. Jasper had faith that I could do it – and I believed him. He wouldn't have suggested it if it were too big a risk to take.

There was a reason we were doing it so early in the morning, though. Regardless of whether I was ready, we didn't want to do this in broad daylight. Not only because the sun was out nearly every day, but also if I did happen to slip up, Jasper would have to restrain me. We couldn't afford the kind of attention it would bring.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked.

I glanced at him; my expression telling him what he already knew. "Am I ready to walk through the village without you holding onto me? I don't know."

"I'm going to be right next to you," he assured me. "If at any time you're unsure, just take my hand. I'll know if you need me to do anything more."

I showed my agreement and looked towards the village. It was a small comfort that I'd already come this far without a problem, but there was a good chance my nerves were simply masking it. I chose to remain positive and believe the former was most accurate. The less positive realisation was that I wanted to take Jasper's hand almost immediately after we started walking.

I didn't, but I really wanted to.

Jasper remained resolutely quiet beside me, all but fading into the background so I could walk and concentrate without any distractions. The houses were dark, yet the street was alive with sounds of beating hearts. They were everywhere, and just as enticing as the first day I heard them.

That wasn't going to change, no matter how many decades I lived for. Jasper told me that, over time, you just learn to ignore them because you have no choice_ but_ to do so. For a vampire, it was something that would always be there.

I tried doing that now, and focused on something that was equally as tough – breathing. This was something we'd started in the past few weeks. Whenever we were going to make this trip, I would spend nearly all of it holding my breath. Right now, that was doable…to some extent; except the chances of me needing to talk and then running out of breath was also something I could see myself doing.

In that circumstance, I had to be able to breathe in without losing it and killing whoever was misfortunate enough to be nearby.

So this was my training; breathing in small breaths at a time. For a human, it wouldn't be enough to keep them alive, but for me, it felt like a burning torch was going down my throat. I would hunt later for sure, even though the amount of blood already in my system was more than enough to sustain me.

It was another home truth Jasper had shared. No matter how much you drank, there would always be room for human blood.

His lack of sugar coating was appreciated; I didn't need false hope right now, even if the truth was a little disheartening. This would get easier, yet at the same time, it wouldn't. I pushed those thoughts away quickly. Taking my mind off the people around me was one thing, but reminding myself how hard this was wasn't going to help at all.

In the end, I focused solely on putting one foot in front of the other, counting each and every step and breathing on every fourth. By the time we reached the end, my entire body was shaking with the effort. The strain was becoming evident in my clenched fists, which were so tight that grooves were forming in the curve of my palm.

I started moving faster – at a speed that I hoped was still human, nearly breaking into a run. Finally, we reached the opposite side of the village and were soon returning to the safety of the mountains.

When our camp came into sight, I breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed onto the nearest log. The last hour had been utterly draining, yet it was nothing compared to what was coming…and I had to do it all with hardly any respite.

How many times would I need to go out to practice before any of that was possible?

I was just beginning to doubt myself when I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder. I reached up, covering it with my own.

"I'm proud of you," he said. I knew he could feel my doubt, but I could tell that wasn't why he said it. "You did great out there."

I glanced up at him, offering my thanks. "How long before we can leave? Is the end even in sight yet?"

"It is," he replied, bending down to kiss my forehead. "Only a few more months and you'll be ready to travel."

He didn't let my lack of confidence get me down as he pulled me to my feet. I knew exactly what he was doing when he led me towards the lake. No matter what, swimming was always the easiest source of relaxation.

The best times to swim were late at night or early in the morning. Though watching Jasper glide through the water with the midday sun glistening off him was something I would never tire of.

* * *

**Two Months Later**

The young man across the road from us hunched over and hurried along in the opposite direction, desperate to get out of the rain. I watched him until he went out of sight, and then stared ahead, resisting the urge to look behind me. The rain was diluting the scents a little, but it was still a struggle to stay not let my mind wander.

Jasper's hand in mine was a strong comfort, especially with each person that passed us by. This was yet another layer we had been building up to, and was currently our fourth time out in the early evening.

Walking around as though we were just a normal couple was something no newborn vampire should be able to do. Evaluating how far I'd come was one of the most rewarding things I could think of, and it spurred me on.

I thanked Jasper for it completely, but he said it was my determination that got me this far, and not him. I disagreed, of course, but when it came down to it, it didn't matter who was right because it meant we were finally ready to go home. In less than a week, we would be making that trip.

I refocused as the next person turned around the corner. My grip on his hand tightened, and like always, instead of talking, he used his thumb to circle across my hand. A signal that I _could_ do it, and simply had to remain calm.

It was exactly what got me through every day that followed.

"I can't believe we're really leaving," I said as I lay beside Jasper on our final night before leaving. "I always put off thinking about it because it was so far away, but now…it's only a few hours until we leave. You know, I think I might miss this place when we're back in the States."

Jasper's fingers paused on their path along my spine. "We could always come back again, if you wanted to."

"Like a holiday home?" I laughed at the idea, though not totally against it, either. "I suppose it's not like it'll go anywhere."

Aside from being so close to Volterra, it wasn't a bad hideaway at all. We'd built a makeshift roof as shelter from the rain, and there was access to both water and animals to hunt. If I hadn't been assured the Cullens' property was similar, there might have been a part of me that didn't want to leave.

According to Esme, the house they now lived in was situated on a large area of private land in Montana, which included a lake similar to ours. I couldn't help but be a little excited to see it, and luckily it helped to eradicate my nerves about seeing them.

This wasn't something we said aloud, but I was certain Jasper was even more nervous than I was…and we needed to at least mention it, even if just to get it off his chest. I wanted to know what would weigh him down so I could help him when the time came.

Of course, true to Jasper's style, I had a feeling he would try to evade my question. When I asked, he did exactly as I expected him to.

"Surely that's a question I should be asking you?" he said simply enough that had I not expected it, I wouldn't have guessed his motives. As it was, he wouldn't get out of it that easily.

I propped myself up on my elbow. "You know what I mean."

"Am I nervous about seeing my family again? Of course I am," he replied after letting out a low sigh. "You know, there was a period when Edward turned nomad and rebelled against Carlisle's way of living. It was just the three of them, back then, but when he came home, they welcomed him easily. I know the circumstances are different, but he told me that when he returned, things had changed – _he_ had changed."

"Are you worried things will be too different when you return?"

"I don't know." He sat up, giving me his back. "It's stupid to even think it. I know they'll welcome me back, I just can't help but wonder where I'll…fit in."

"It's not stupid. If it's on your mind, it's on your mind," I said, and sat up to hug him from behind. "Do you want to know what I think?"

He looked over his shoulder, hinting for me to go on.

"I don't think they'll care if you've changed; they'll just be happy you're back…and probably just as nervous about the whole thing as you are."

"You said something similar when I was fussing over calling Esme."

I nudged him playfully. "I was right then, wasn't I?"

"You were," he agreed, and twisted to the side to kiss me. "I should just listen to you from now on."

"That you should," I replied, grinning.

For the last few hours before our departure, we talked about nonsensical topics that didn't link back to our imminent trip. When the time came, we gathered our things together and started the first and easiest leg of our journey.

We were due to meet someone in Brescia who was providing us with a car. It was a deal Rosalie made on our behalf with some high-class car dealership. All Jasper had to do was confirm he was who he said he was and sign the paper.

Luckily, the day was relatively cloudy, and as we reached the designated meeting place, the man was there waiting for us already. I held back, pretending to look at the car while Jasper dealt with him. It wasn't a model I recognised, but it _looked_ fast, and the windows were tinted. They were the only requirements we needed. Now all I wanted to do was get in and drive away.

"Everything okay?" I asked once they shook hands and we were alone again.

"It's fine," he replied, folding the papers he'd been looking at. "They're just the papers for when we take the car across the channel."

I didn't understand or particularly want to get involved with the legal side of our journey. Carlisle had sorted it for us. I knew once we were home and the stress of it was behind us, I would fully appreciate and give the thanks they deserved for everything they'd done to get us home again.

As soon as we were in the car, Jasper programmed the built in satellite navigation to take us through the Alps. It was very strange to think we were embarking on such a long trip – the reverse of what we'd done almost two years prior.

"Is this weird for you?" I asked, dragging my eyes away from the gorgeous scenery. "Us, being in a car and crossing a continent."

"Considering I never expected to make a return trip, yes," he said honestly. "Though I'll admit I'm grateful the driving portion will be a lot less stressful."

I suppressed a smile. "Stressful?"

Jasper waited a moment before answering. "There was a point when I was more wary of you trying to talk to me than the fact your scent was driving me crazy." He idled, half shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not much of a talker."

"I did get that impression back then," I replied, trying not to sound too teasing. That aspect had certainly changed since then. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry my scent affected you so much. I don't know how you did it…"

"It wasn't so bad. I mean it," he added when he caught my scepticism. "We would have stopped a lot more if I thought it was getting too much. It just…had a very appealing lure to it, which I put down to what happened three years before."

"Does that change things a lot?"

"It certainly makes things harder," he said, slowly, as though looking for the right words. "As I'm sure you can imagine, a natural scent and that of fresh blood is different. When it's fresh, the scent is more refined, purer, and once you come in contact with it – even briefly – the natural scent gets stronger, too."

I could certainly imagine it because I'd been there before. Except I hadn't smelt their scent afterwards, I'd simply gone after them right away.

But that was two years ago now, and though I would come into contact with it again, right now, it was still in the past. That was all I cared about.

* * *

When we reached the border between France and Germany, we stopped off at a local clothes store where Jasper bought us some clean clothes, before heading to a small hostel nearby. All we needed was a place to shower, change, and hole up for a while.

We weren't due on the ferry until gone one in the morning, and considering we had a little under twelve hours to go, we needed to wait before driving any further.

It wasn't such a problem, except spending hours in the car still got uncomfortable. Although a break from driving meant going somewhere that was surrounded by people. I didn't let go of Jasper's hand until we reached the room and placed our bags in front of the door. It wouldn't stop either of us, but it formed as barrier to separate between us and everything else.

We hit the shower immediately. After washing in a lake for a year and a half, I'd almost forgotten what a real shower felt like. The warm water felt different against my skin – a very nice different, and we spent extra long washing away the remnants of living as a nomad.

Jasper left me to wash my hair. The shampoo Rosalie provided had run out a while ago, and though Jasper had ventured out to buy the odd necessity, it wasn't the same as washing with clean water.

It felt nice to know I'd look _clean_. Jasper promised no one would care, or even notice, but I still felt better knowing we'd look presentable.

When I finally shut off the water, I wrapped myself in one of the large towels and went into the main room. Unsurprisingly, Jasper was already dressed and had enough time to lay out my clean clothes on the bed. I changed quickly and dried my hair as best I could. I was just tying it into a loose bun when I joined him by the window.

"So when are we getting back on the road?"

"A little after six." A quick consultation of the clock told me that was just over four hours away. "It'll take us maybe five and a half hours to get to Calais, and they say you should check in at least an hour before."

I was a little wary of the hour wait, and just hoped we didn't have to wait inside with other passengers.

"You're going to be fine," he said, halting my anxious hand gestures. "If things get too much, I can use my ability to calm you down."

"Is that what you're going to do on the plane?"

Jasper hesitated, deliberating his response. "Actually, I was thinking of using my ability to send you into a sleep-like haze. The flight can take up to nine hours, and it's…tough, even for someone who has been a vampire for decades."

I mulled over the idea of 'sleeping' for most of the flight. Out of every option we had, that one sounded the best…but it could still cause problems.

"Wouldn't they notice if I was asleep for the whole flight?"

It seemed he'd already thought of it. "The seats they booked for us are in the private section. We can request not to be disturbed, and considering how much those tickets cost, we'd be allowed that privacy."

He stopped to take a breath, seeming to hit a roadblock in his thoughts. "What I'm more worried about is slipping and forcing my ability on those near to us."

"What would happen to them?" I asked quietly, having not considered the consequences. His expression made me think the worst.

"Given the level I would be using, even a few seconds would induce something similar to a heart attack." My stomach dropped, and I choked on nothing at all. Jasper continued firmly before I could find my voice. "But I _won't_ slip up. So long as they leave us alone, I won't be thinking about anything else."

I took to staring out the window once again. I trusted that Jasper could do this, but the nearer we got, the more I was worried the bottom would fall out on this whole thing. If I had to, I would bring back the option of swimming home.

For now though, thinking about it wasn't going to help my fraying nerves. We still had another nine hours or so to go before we arrived at Calais, and our flight from Heathrow wasn't until tomorrow morning.

A woman and her daughter caught my eye outside. I watched as they went out of sight, then let my attention drift to the cloudy, yet sunny sky.

"I wish we could go outside and explore," I said idly. "It would make the next few hours go so quickly."

"The sun might give us away, though," he said, lifting his hand into the sunlight long enough to prove his point. "It doesn't mean we can't come back."

I stared at him, unable to tell whether he was serious or not. "Really? We could come back one day?"

"Sure. France isn't always like this, and I've found the exploring at night is far more fun, anyway." He smiled, as he no doubt sensed my disbelief. "Carlisle and Esme were in Egypt a few years before we moved to Forks. So if they can go there undetected, then we can surely come back to France."

My mind was suddenly abuzz with thoughts of where else we could go. Europe had always been a dream to me, but without someone to travel with and only enough money to get me to Forks and back, I never really put much thought to it.

Now I had both.

"There are so many places we could go! I've heard Prague is nice, and parts of Germany and Austria…England, too. The Lake District sounds vampire friendly, or Scotland; lots of places for us to get lost…"

My voice trailed off as I caught Jasper's amused expression. "I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?"

"We'll get through this flight, first, but there's nothing wrong with thinking ahead. I can see how much you want it, so we will find a way to make it happen."

I slid across to him and leant against his chest. "So long as it's what you want, too."

"It is," he said gently, and kissed the top of my head.

* * *

There were surprisingly few people waiting to check in their ticket at Calais then I expected, though still more than I would've felt comfortable with.

"We're going to pay for our ticket, then go back to the car," Jasper said, going over our plan one final time as we stood outside the building, looking in. We both knew it by heart; it was simply a matter of focusing me. "I'll only let go of your hand if I have to."

I gave him my most reassuring expression and repeated in my head that I _could_ do this, and _would_ do it.

After drawing one last breath of clean air, I grasped his hand and entered the building. The warmth of the room hit me as I took in the ten or so people sitting in the waiting area. The urge to inhale was coming from the Devil's voice in my ear, the voice that flirted with the idea of danger.

No. I wasn't going to give in because I wasn't the weak girl I used to be a year ago. I was stronger now.

It was the crack of two, maybe three of Jasper's fingers breaking that made my mind up. My thoughts caught a snag when he winced, but as my reflexes set in and I tried to pull away, his broken hand only gripped mine stronger.

"Don't let go," he said only for my ears. "It'll heal in ten minutes. You're doing great."

I felt a slight boost of confidence; nothing big, but enough to revive that which I had lost and force away my guilt. It was exactly what I needed to get to the check-in desk. I didn't think about the man's beating heart, and instead, watched Jasper pass over the details for our car and ask for two tickets for the next ferry crossing.

He did as he promised and only let go of my hand when he had to pay, and soon enough we were making our way back outside. I let out a sigh of relief as we reached the car. Aside from the fact I'd once again injured Jasper, everything else had gone to plan.

As soon as we were in the car and joining the queue of other vehicles waiting to get on the ferry, it dawned on me that I'd past the most nerve-wracking part of the evening. I wasn't worried about the trip across the channel, knowing we would sit outside for the entire time. All I had to do was walk from the car to the outer decks and back again. After everything, that didn't worry me a bit.

"How's the hand?" I asked when I noticed he wasn't holding the broken bones the way he had whilst mending his wrist.

He held it up, rotating it from front to back. "It's healing quickly; the bones are small, so it takes barely any time at all."

"You make it sound like it's okay for me to break your fingers." I grimaced when he laughed, and didn't disagree. In a way, there _was_ truth to it. We were better off me injuring someone who could heal instead of someone who wouldn't. It didn't mean I was okay with it, though. Regardless of the fact he'd had worse, to know I was the one causing him pain was a horrible thought.

We had to wait in the queue for another twenty minutes before they finally started letting cars on. It was another fifteen minutes before everyone was on, and another ten before we could head up to the passenger deck.

As expected, we held back so the rest of the passengers in our section were ahead of us, and then made our way up. My grip on his hand was considerably lighter, which made me feel better as we exited onto the outer deck. With the other passengers opting for a warm drink and a soft chair, we were the only two out there.

The wind was gusting around us, blowing my hair into my face, but otherwise refreshing. If it wasn't for the fact I could hear them, I wouldn't have known there were humans onboard.

We went right to the end of the ferry and sat on one of the benches facing the water. Jasper put his arm around me, and I snuggled against him, resuming the position I'd seen in so many films.

"You know," I began after listening to the roar of the engines for a few minutes. "Anyone watching us would wonder why you haven't given me your jacket yet…they must know how cold it is out here."

His lips peeled back into a grin. "Do you want my jacket, _mi amor_?"

I pretended to contemplate my response, and then pecked a kiss to the corner of his mouth, with a grin of my own. "I wouldn't want them to worry about you freezing to death with just a t-shirt on…"

"Then maybe we should make it look as though we're trying to keep warm," he replied, his voice low and full of hints. I arched an eyebrow, and suddenly I was pulled onto his laps, my legs straddling either side on his.

When he kissed me, I silently wished the thirty minute journey was far longer.

* * *

Terminal Five at Heathrow was bustling with people. The sharp contrast to the boat ride earlier this morning was huge, but having anticipated it, I wasn't at all shocked. We were a little under two hours away from our flight, and I was nervous as hell.

After leaving the boat without a problem, we'd driven up towards London, stopping only once to hunt. We found the Cullen garage and hid out for the final few hours before Jasper called a taxi to take us to the airport.

It was all very familiar with our flight from Seattle to Miami, except that Jasper had been the one to suffer. What would it be like this time? It was thoughts like those that drove me crazy, and as we approached the main entrance, I nearly lost it.

"Make me feel calm," I called hurriedly. "I don't care if you have to make this the most serene place in the world, just do it."

From the corner of my eye, I saw him nod once and I felt the effects almost instantly. The calm aura, though fake, was enough to carry me up to the first check-in and line of security. The train to our designated gate was the part I came undone. With groups of people piling into the same compartment, Jasper and I ended up standing up close to the door.

I was very nearly breaking my own fingers from clenching them so hard, and should any one of the passengers watch me, they would notice I wasn't moving at all. But no one was paying attention…only Jasper.

His arms were around me before I knew it. I pressed my face against his neck and scrunched my eyes shut. I couldn't even imagine how tough this was for him, too. All I could do was will time to move faster.

"We're nearly there," he said against my ear.

When the train came to a stop, we couldn't get off quick enough.

We bypassed duty-free, got through security as quickly as they would allow, and finally stopped at our gate. I was struck by déjà vu as we sat in silence waiting for our seats to be called. Except this time, my head was resting against his shoulder, my hand tucked neatly into his.

Those memories were hazy, but it was strangely comforting to think about my human counterpart at a time like this. I thought of the times he'd confided in me, the moment that had started the relationship we were in now. I used the feel of his hand in mind to picture all the times he was close enough to touch, the way he had on those few occasions…and that night when he'd carried me to bed and remained at my side.

Despite the darker side of some those memories, they were things I never wanted to forget. Knowing that Jasper's memories of that time would remain in detail forever, I knew I never would.

I was roused back into the present by Jasper's voice in my ear. It was time for us to board the plane.

I was grateful for Jasper's calming effect as we handed over our boarding pass and entered the tunnel. I did a silent prayer in my mind, something I hadn't done in a long time, and asked my parents to watch over us.

It was the last thing I could do as we took our seats and waited for the flight to begin.

* * *

"Angela…"

My eyelids fluttered open, my mind disorientated for a moment or two. When I was aware of our surroundings, I sat up abruptly and did a quick sweep of the seats around us…nothing seemed amiss. In fact, it was as though they were preparing to land.

I looked to Jasper for confirmation; I couldn't quite believe it.

"No heart attacks," he said simply, and enveloped me in a hug when I hinted I needed one. I was quick to accept that we'd gotten through it, though the darkness of his eyes soon had me worrying once again.

Had something happened during the flight? Was there an accident, much like the last time we flew to Miami?

I cupped his cheek, my thumb under the dark shadows of his eyes to silently ask if he was okay.

He turned his nose into my hand and kissed the centre of my palm. "It's nothing," he assured me. "Only the length of the flight, that's all. We just have to get through security, and then we're free."

The plane landed a short while later, and after a further twenty minutes of taxiing around the airport, we were finally allowed off the plane. The passengers in first class were let off the plane first, so we were out relatively quickly.

Unlike on the ferry, we aimed to be nearer the front. The queue for passport control was going to be long, and trying to hold back wasn't practical. Frankly, we both wanted to be free of the airport as soon as possible.

When we joined the line of passengers, I focused on the rhythm my fingers were making as I tapped them against my leg. I felt I was doing well, right up until we were three people away from being called and the woman four desks down from us got a paper cut.

It wasn't much, and it probably didn't draw blood, but the sight of her putting her finger into her mouth shattered my concentration. I told myself to look away, but my mind and body wasn't listening, I soon pictured myself breathing in, just to see if she _was_ bleeding.

All of a sudden, Jasper had blocked my view, and his lips were on mine. The kiss was easily too indecent for our current surroundings, but the action fulfilled its purpose. He was trying to distract me from thinking about the paper cut, and soon it wasn't even a shadow of a thought.

Jasper was the one to break away when someone cleared their throat. We were suddenly at the front of the queue.

"You go first," he instructed me, and let his arm slip away. My mind was still reeling from the kiss to overthink the fact some part of me wasn't holding onto Jasper anymore. It didn't matter because as soon as I was through, Jasper was right behind me once again.

"Let's get our bags and get out of here," Jasper muttered, and I couldn't have agreed more.

Half an hour later, I was leaning against the doorframe of the taxi, breathing in fresh air as we took the short drive to the final Cullen garage. It wasn't one I'd been to before, so I took the time to look at the two cars parked inside while Jasper called his family to tell them we were finally back in the country.

The car we were going to use was a dark blue BMW – Esme's car. It seemed she wanted something new to drive, and asked us to bring it back…except it wasn't the north roads we were taking. Not right away. First, we would take the road to the east, to one final destination before heading towards Montana. We were going to a place that would ease, or at least answer the final burden of Jasper's conscience.

We knew the Cullens and the family in Alaska were okay after the Volturi's visit two years previous, but there was one person whose fate we hadn't heard about.

Maria.

* * *

**A/N: They're almost home! Just one more place to go first. Will they find Maria? Let me know what you think. Teasers go out to reviewers.**

**Random fact, I thought of the ferry scene whilst taking a similar trip earlier this year. It was cold and windy, and Jasper and Angela suddenly popped into my head. I just had to work it into a fic.**


	29. Chapter 28

**A/N: Chapter 28!**

**I took a little break from this fic while I worked one of my others, but here's the next chapter! We have Cullens! Thank you to idealskeptic, and to all you wonderful readers. I reached 40,000 hits/views with this chapter, which is crazy considering there are only 29 chapters posted. Thank you again for that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Greed and Power**

The drive to where we may or may not have found Maria was tense. Jasper wasn't projecting anything, but I could still feel the tension rolling off him in the original sense of the word. If the Volturi killed her, it meant there was another death on Jasper's conscience. This time being the death of his creator. I shared no bond with Aro, nor did I ever want one, but Maria had something over him that nobody else did.

They also had a past together, and after everything they'd been through – the bad and whatever amount of good – ending things like this wasn't something Jasper wanted. Going there was a means of giving him some peace of mind, and if she had in fact been spared, he would be able to wipe his slate clean of them.

For now.

The break from the Volturi felt more secure now we were across the world from them, yet the nagging voice in the back of my mind, the one I tried to ignore, told me we weren't done with them yet. There was no telling when they could come after us, or how long they would wait. We simply had to play the waiting game along with them.

There was also the fact Emmett and Edward still didn't know that Aro, a man who always seemed to get what he wanted, had set his sights on them, too. I wondered what it felt like, not to have those thoughts hanging over their heads. I envied them of it, yet was consoled by the fact they'd been spared of even more worry. If only Jasper's return home wasn't to be tainted by it.

We couldn't avoid it, though, or leave it a few days before telling them. We'd already left it long enough as it was.

What I was most worried about was Jasper's frame of mind if we found out Maria had died. Having to deal with that, and then share even more bad news was going to be really tough…and I wasn't even counting the fact he would feel their reactions.

* * *

The afternoon was gradually fading into evening when he announced we were nearly there, making it a perfect time for us to arrive. We would park the car and walk the rest of the way; walk until he was positive either way what happened to Maria.

When we finally stopped, Jasper was first out the car, but it soon became clear it wasn't through urgency to get to our destination. I followed suit and moved around to his side of the car, sensing, too, that he needed a moment.

His face was blank, but I knew that meant his thoughts had taken him somewhere far away from here. Or maybe not so far at all. I waited patiently until he came back with a single blink of his eyes. When he spoke, his topic was expected, though his words surprised me a little.

"She was all I had, back then."

I watched him closely, noting the distance still present in the way he spoke. He wasn't waiting for any kind of response.

"I remember the…_dread_ I felt at the thought of losing her, the way it would hang over me like a dead weight," he continued, still not meeting my eye. "The first time she came close to being killed, I let her see my worry."

He said the word as though it was a joke, as though worrying was a foolish thing to do. His gaze flickered to mine, and I could see the reason in his eyes before he confirmed it with his words.

"She knocked me back, of course. Told me that worrying for anyone other than myself would only get me killed sooner." Jasper laughed bitterly under his breath. "Maria was a ruthless leader, one that cared more for land and reputation than those around her. She made it so the dread faded away over time; right until the point I knew I'd never feel anything like it again."

Jasper stopped to run a hand over his face. The roughness of the movement proved how much this was troubling him, and the worst part was that I knew what was coming and wasn't sure how I was going to respond to it.

"It unnerves me that it's back," he said quietly and cast his eyes downward. The crease between them was so prominent. "I ignored it because I had to, but now…I've spent the past few hours trying to make sense of it, and I…I can't. I know it's different from before, but I feel like it shouldn't be there at all."

My uncertainly suddenly faded as I positioned myself in front of him. "I can't begin to put myself in your shoes, but I do know you have every right to feel the way you do. The last time you saw her, she helped you when you needed it the most. I bet anyone else would be feeling exactly the same."

"Maybe so," he conceded. "But the sooner it's gone the better."

He seemed to brush away his uneasiness as easy as anything, but I knew all he'd done was push it to the back of his mind. To a place no one could reach. Straight away, I knew it was time to let it go and simply follow him. The sooner it was gone, the better, just as he said.

I just hoped it wasn't going to be replaced by something worse.

Similar to the drive, Jasper barely said a word as we walked. We were going faster than human speed, but still slow for a vampire. So I took stock of our surroundings, wondering whether any of this was yet familiar to him.

It was dusty and barren, most likely too dry and hot for humans to venture out. A perfect place for a vampire army to thrive. You could smell it in the air, the way it had near Volterra. I was certain Jasper wasn't breathing again.

We headed further in, getting closer to hills that were gradually fading in the diming light. The vampire scents, on the other hand, were only getting stronger.

"Is that promising?" I asked when I commented on it.

Jasper's eyes were sharp as he scanned ahead of his, his posture possibly being tenser than it was in front of Aro.

"It could be anyone," he replied. "If it is, the night is the worse time to be here."

For the first time today, I felt a sliver of apprehension. Armies attacked at night, and if this was no longer Maria's territory—

Jasper's arm shot out across me, halting us both. Lost in thought, I'd missed the flicker of movement to our right.

"Get behind me," he said quietly, leaving no room for argument. I moved, with just enough space to see who was approaching. There were three of them, two men and one female. A quick look behind us was enough reassurance we weren't being surrounded, but with three of them and Jasper being the only one capable of really defending himself, we were easily outnumbered.

The three advanced slowly, fanning out as they got nearer. I felt Jasper reach behind and nudge me backwards. Just like he had in Volterra, except this time I was vampire, and still as useless as ever. But I had speed on my side, and even though they did, too, I could run if I had to.

I kept my eyes on them as I moved back. The two men centred on Jasper, but the woman kept her gaze on me. She was young, maybe seventeen, with red hair and even redder eyes. She bypassed Jasper who was too intent on the pair circling him to be able to stop her.

I wanted to tell her I wasn't an enemy, to ask for Maria and see how she responded, but I feared my lack of prior knowledge would give me away. Anyone could pretend to know who she was just to get a little closer. So I kept edging back, all the while watching Jasper from my peripheral vision.

He was quick, deflecting their attacks and being one step ahead.

The sound of tearing metal distracted the girl and she looked to see Jasper drop the headless body. I took my chance and did the only thing I could – run.

She was on my tail the instant I moved, gaining on me fast. Too fast. I tried to take a sharp left and circle round to Jasper, but she anticipated my move the same way Jasper did the others. I felt the precise breakage where she grabbed me, felt the flare of panic that paired with the though of her doing more damage if I didn't try to stop her.

I acted without thinking, spinning into her grasp and used my free hand to connect with her face. When she caught my wrist, I hardly faltered as I head butted her, crushing her nose and forcing my release. She'd barely recovered when two hands appeared behind her.

She was in two pieces in seconds, and Jasper was before me, dark faced and chest heaving. I hadn't even heard the second man fall.

"You broke her nose," he said squarely as he eased my arm out straight and held the broken part so it could mend.

"Yeah, I'm good at that," I replied in a glum voice, thinking back to when I'd done the same to him. The outcome had been the same; I was released then, too.

"It was a good move," he went on, but there was something off in his voice as well. We both knew a broken arm would've been the least of my troubles had Jasper been a minute later. I knew without having to ask that he wanted me as far away from this life as possible, and the thought of training me to fight was one he didn't want to entertain.

It was another thing we couldn't avoid, but right now, Jasper was doing his best to do just that…and I would let him. We had more pressing things at hand.

"I recognised those moves – they had Maria all over them," he said, and though it was good news, he sounded just as wary. "But we need to move; those three were keeping watch. The others would have heard the attack – you always could in these parts."

Jasper was proved right before we even passed the place the other two bodies lay. It was four men, this time. To my relief, Jasper addressed them the way I wanted to address the girl.

"We are not your enemies," he explained, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture. "Do not force me to retaliate. I am only here to see your leader, Maria."

As I expected, they didn't accept the mention of Maria as enough reason to let us pass…but maybe the mention of his name would.

"Tell her Jasper is here to see her."

It was then they faltered, each sharing a glance and looking towards the brawny one who seemed in charge of the group.

"Whitlock?" was his only response.

Jasper confirmed it, and soon after two of them disappeared the way they came. The two that remained eyed us warily, keeping their distance in a way that made me question what it was Maria told them about Jasper to make them so cautious about him. Maybe even fearful.

When I glanced at Jasper, though, it dawned on me maybe Maria hadn't told them much at all. His scars gave enough of a first impression, and with the mere mention of his name, it was an adequate reason to halt them.

The power he could have here was terrifying.

The arrival of Maria knocked that thought from my mind. She was everything I'd imagined her to be. Fierce and beautiful, dressed all in black with heavy boots on her feet. Everything about her exuded power and leadership, the kind of thing that probably should have intimidated me.

As it was, all she did was look at Jasper as he looked right back. I anticipated a greeting of sorts, yet both remained straight-faced and closed off. Both too stubborn, maybe, to show any relief that the other was alive.

When their moment was over, her gaze flickered to me, giving me a once over before moving onto the bodies of the two male guards.

"Deal with those two," she instructed the pair who had gone to fetch her.

"What about the girl?"

Maria didn't hesitate. "Burn her," she said, her attention flickering to Jasper and she smirked. "I never did like that one."

The remark seemed intentional, as though it were an inside joke only he knew about. I was still trying to derive a conclusion as she led us back towards her camp. I gave up as we got nearer, passing newborns who watched us go by.

We were taken to a small settlement and into a building that was lit on the inside by torches. For a second, it felt as though we'd transported back to the time Jasper had first been here. But of course, electricity wasn't something they could easily access this far out.

"I see the message was delivered," she said as she placed the light she carried on the desk. When she faced us, it was my confusion she seemed to pick up on. "The Volturi paid me a visit, and the tracker left me when everyone else was burned."

She paused to loosen her jacket, pulling the shirt back to reveal two viscous scars curling around her shoulders. "I recognise a hidden message when I see one. The Volturi don't give out second chances for anything other than to warn others what they're capable of."

Despite everything I'd witnessed the Volturi say or do, the fact they left her, dismembered, as a message to Jasper, the Cullens, and God knows who else had left me speechless.

"_Debiste pedirmelo_," came out as a low murmur. I knew it was for Jasper's ears only, but he ignored her hint for privacy.

"Would you really have done it? If I'd asked you?"

I quickly worked out that Maria must have told him she would have done what he went to Volterra for. His question hinted at his doubts, and Maria's lack of response had me questioning her. Either way, I was glad it hadn't come to that. It was my presence over the course of time that led him to change his mind, nothing more.

She was quick to move the attention away from her. To move the attention to me, apparently, if the way her eyes lingered on my still healing arm was anything to go by.

"How long since you were turned?"

A formal question, but an assessment nonetheless.

"Two years," I replied just as bluntly.

"Still a newborn." Her tone hinted at insult, and she soon faced Jasper. "If she's supposed to be trained, you've lost your touch."

I bristled and so did Jasper.

"She's _not_ that kind of newborn," he shot back. The finality in his voice would have sent anyone else retreating, but not Maria.

Her smirk had returned. "You and I both know there _is _no other kind of newborn."

The tension in the room crackled, escalating the longer Jasper glared at her. _Was it always like this?_ I thought. _Always challenging one another_? Suddenly it wasn't at all hard to see why Jasper had once contemplated killing her.

In the end, Maria was the first one to back down, but not in defeat. "If the Volturi come after you, and she is not trained, you will go down twice as fast," she told him, inducing a sliver a fear into my chest. "Even you can't protect someone from the likes of them."

Everything she said was true, as much as I wished it wasn't. Jasper couldn't protect me and expect to fight them off at the same time. Even the newborns had proved that. One second under Jane's ability and we'd both be dead.

With that thought in mind, I had the urge to speak up and agree. I wanted to be able to protect myself for Jasper's sake even more than my own, but the stony expression on his face made me hold my tongue.

"At least they will give you a way out if you lose her, too-"

"_Enough_." He growled out the word. "You've made your point."

"So long as you took it in," she continued, and I had the right mind to tell her to shut the hell up. I understand why she was saying it, but I didn't like the way she was pushing his buttons. What she said next, however, took me by surprise. "You know where to find me, should you require my help."

Her tone held more finality than Jasper's. Just like that, she was dismissing us. I was stunned at her brevity; even though I didn't want to spend more time than we had to, I'd expected more. The difference, later, when he reunited with the Cullens was going to be immense.

"I'll bear that in mind," Jasper finally said. But what was he considering - her help, or the training? I felt Jasper's hand on my back, hinting at me to move. I offered Maria a nod and a smile, even if she didn't return the gesture.

Then, as I turned away, she said, "_Tienes mi respaldo_."

Jasper said nothing to this, but there was something in the way he nodded that told me she'd said something good. He would tell me later, maybe. Once we were out, he kept a firm, guiding hand on my back. Even though these were Maria's soldiers, he still didn't trust them.

The guards from earlier had lit a fire in-between the time we last saw them. I knew I shouldn't have watched because I knew exactly what they were doing, but the brutality of it shocked me to the point I couldn't move.

The girl was in pieces, carelessly being thrown into the fire one piece at a time. The smoke was purple, even in the darkness, and the smell was acrid and sickly sweet. I hadn't noticed it earlier, but that particular smell was everywhere.

"Let's go," Jasper said, gentle, yet firm enough to make me move. I allowed him to lead me away willingly, yet the image of their burning pyre was going to stay with me a while. When we finally made it back to the car, it seemed I was the one who forced the silence.

"I hoped you wouldn't see that," he said later, reaching for my hand across the compartment. "You've seen a lot in the past two years because of me, but that should have been avoided."

I couldn't help but agree. "But I would do it again, even now. There's no way I'd let you go in there alone. I know she won't hurt you…it's everything else that makes me not trust her."

His smile was weary. "Not many people do."

I decided against asking where trust lay in his relationship with Maria.

"She certainly fits the image in my head," I told him instead. "Though I thought she would have wanted you to stay longer."

"We're not exactly what you would call friends," he replied, hinting at a little tired humour. "It will always be like that between us. Aggression was a common ground back then, and she knows exactly where to push me. She's my creator, though, and that means we'll never be enemies."

"Is that what she said when we left?"

Whatever it was, it had to be something that prevented them from leaving on a bad note.

"Not quite. She said she had my back." He paused, and I silently thanked Maria. Untrustworthy as she was, her allegiance to Jasper was clear. "We always used to communicate in Spanish. It keeps things private and prevents anyone using something like that against her."

"They would do that?"

"Betrayal is easy," he said simply. "She won't take that risk."

It made sense, but I couldn't understand why she would keep doing it if the risks were so high that she couldn't trust anyone. In the end, I came to the conclusion that it was the life she was born into as a vampire, and unlike Jasper, she had no reason to leave it.

We dropped the topic of Maria, leaving it behind us with everything else. What she said about training was still on my mind. We wouldn't talk about it now, and I couldn't be sure when we _would_, but Jasper couldn't avoid it forever, and I was counting on that.

The place we were headed – which I found out to be a small town called Ennis in Montana, was a day's drive from here, but after everything we'd been through, a day felt like nothing at all.

* * *

The night sky faded into morning twice before we reached the outskirts of Ennis. We filled up on gas one last time and stopped a few miles out from the private road that would take us to the Cullens' house. Like the few days before, Jasper needed a little time to prepare himself.

His mood was far lighter, and he even kissed me fervently before leaning against the side of the car. It was going to be our last kiss; at least without having to hide it. We'd considered whether or not to tell them about us. Ultimately, I asked if we could keep it between ourselves for a little longer. We had enough to tell them without giving them something else they had to get used to.

Jasper pointed out that they would most likely put it together themselves, and Edward would know as soon as one of us thought about it. My response was simple: if that was the case, then so be it. I wanted them to enjoy Jasper's return first.

"You ready?"

He lifted his chin from where it rested on my shoulder and nodded. He surprised me with another kiss, a sweeter one, and then we returned to our seats. We hadn't told them what time we were arriving, just that it would be today.

When we pulled up to the house, I could hardly take my eyes off it. The design was a lot older than their house in Forks, but had to be even bigger. From first glance, I knew I liked this one better.

I shared a fleeting look with Jasper as we heard the telltale sound of someone rushing through the house. I caught his smile as the door flew open and Esme emerged. Jasper was out of the car first, and though I followed, I couldn't look at him for his reaction. I'd seen Esme only a few times around Forks, but I couldn't remember her ever looking as young as she was now. For someone who acted as the mother figure, she couldn't have been much older than I was.

My thoughts were pulled back to the present as they approached each other. I could tell all she wanted to do was rush forward and hug him, but she held back…just. As it turned out, Jasper was the one to pull her into a tight embrace. Had Edward not came out a moment later, I was sure they wouldn't have let go for a while.

I stepped closer as Edward did, smiling because it really had been so long since I last saw him. Like Esme, he looked different to how I remembered. It was startling how much he looked like Jasper had when he first found me.

He and Jasper merely nodded, but I knew from their gaze lasting a few seconds too long that Jasper was telling him something in his mind. Sensing this, Esme approached and hugged me just as tight as she had Jasper.

"Welcome home," she said warmly. Had I any misgivings towards staying here, I knew they would have floated away at her words.

"Where are the others?" Jasper asked as we made our way towards the house. It was clear they weren't inside; we would have heard them by now.

"Carlisle is working and won't be home back for another few hours. Emmett and Rosalie are with Renesmee at the other…"

Esme's voice trailed away as she noticed exactly what I had moments ago. Jasper was frozen in the doorway. I called his name, but instead of bringing him back to me, he snapped out of his inert state and disappeared down some steps just ahead of us. I watched him go, confused and worried. A glance at Esme said she was feeling the same.

_What is it_?

I directed it at the only person who knew what was going through Jasper's mind. When he answered me, he didn't look up from where he watched the stairs Jasper disappeared down.

"He can smell them. Alice's things."

After everything I worried about, I'd completely overlooked the thought of Jasper finding Alice's things. In retrospect, it should have been the first thing I thought about.

"Should I go after him?" Esme asked worriedly. When Edward didn't answer, I realised the question was for me alone.

"Go," I said easily because she was the only one Jasper could see right now. Without doubt, Esme would have been the one to organise Alice's things. Esme said nothing more and followed Jasper's path. As soon as she was gone, I turned to Edward.

_Is there somewhere we can go where we won't hear them_?

He signalled for me to follow him, holding up the keys he was now somehow in possession of when he led me to the car.

"We'll go to the garage," he said as an explanation.

It turned out the garage was bigger than my entire apartment in Illinois. There were three cars parked inside, ours making it four. Near the front was a free space for another, which I assumed was Carlisle's. At the far end, there was a whole space of mechanical equipment.

"It's Rosalie's hobby," Edward explained as he caught the directions of my thoughts. "She's looking for a new project, so she'll probably ask if she can do one up for you."

_The Cullens and their money_, I thought dazedly, and the corner of his mouth quirked a little.

"I'm not sure I remember how to drive," I mused thoughtfully. I had to learn how to _walk_ normally again, so I could imagine driving was going to be just the same.

"It won't take long to learn."

I nodded, idly wondering which car I'd feel comfortable driving for the first time. They all looked fast, but speed wasn't the issue – it never had been with the right driver.

When the silence became too much, I figured I had to say something. "How is Renesmee?"

"She's good. Still growing every day, but not as much as before."

Rosalie had explained Renesmee's unique condition when we saw them last. I couldn't help but wonder how old she looked now.

I watched Edward hesitate over my thoughts. "I'm sorry for not having her with me when you first arrived," he began. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "It's just that she is half human, and-"

I cut him off with a smile. Of all things, that was the last thing he needed to explain. "It's okay, Edward. Really. I understand that she has a beating heart. You didn't want to take the risk and I agree with that decision. You're her father; I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I will bring her over later," he went on, regardless. "Once she knows you've arrived, there'll be no stopping her, anyway."

"Does she know who I am?"

He faltered, knowing what I really meant. "She knows you were friends with…Bella."

I felt like I should have said something, yet all I could think was _I'm so sorry_. It wasn't enough, nowhere near enough, but he nodded anyway. I understand the notion. I used to do the same. Back then, all I wanted was for people to move on, so that was exactly what I did.

"Should we start walking back to the house?"

He readily agreed, and while we walked, I asked about Carlisle's job. It was a neutral topic, and I was genuinely curious how he made it work. It seemed he worked nights a lot, just to save those who needed sleep to recuperate. I respected him for that alone.

When we reached the house a short while later, Esme was waiting on the front step. I couldn't see or hear Jasper, and I knew he'd gone off on his own before she even had to tell me.

"He said to make sure you settled in," she added, when she saw me hesitating in the doorway. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

Edward slipped away as I finally entered the house. The place was huge, yet every room was so well decorated that it would be a while before I stopped looking around in complete awe. It was easily the most luxurious house I'd ever stepped foot in.

Aside from the kitchen, dining room and one family room, the rest of the first floor was designated as Rosalie and Emmett's. When we moved up to the second floor, it was much the same. One side was Carlisle and Esme's – a bedroom, a study, and a spare room I guessed was for Renesmee, but the other was what caught my eye. Their family library was _huge_. Later, when things had calmed down and I had some time alone, I knew I'd find myself in there again.

The smell of paint assaulted my senses as we made our way up the final set of stairs. It was the simplest layout yet, with only two doors on opposite sides of the landing. We headed to the one of them left, first, which turned out to be Esme's personal studio.

Open plan with floor length windows on two sides, it was quite possibly the best room in the house. I looked around at the various easels, paintings and rough plans dotted around the room. I'd never been good with a paintbrush, but it didn't stop me admiring the beauty of how it captured a scene. Just looking at Esme's paintings had a familiar excitement brewing in me that had long since been dormant. She practically had to drag me out of there to show me the final part of the house.

As it turned out, this section belonged to me and Jasper.

For a moment, all I could do was gape in shock. The floor was carpeted in a soft, dark green cushion, with white walls and mahogany furniture. With the windows overlooking the trees, it wasn't hard to see where she got her inspiration. It was beautiful, and that wasn't even all of it.

Along the right side wall were three doors. The first was a bathroom, fitted with appliances I'd only seen in films. That alone made me want to collapse onto the bed in astonishment – which I hadn't failed to notice was made for two people. Even though we didn't need to sleep, I had a feeling Esme had us sussed out already.

The next door held a walk-in wardrobe that had twice the amount of clothes I owned in Illinois, and that wasn't even counting Jasper's.

"Rosalie and I went shopping," she told me, shrugging with a deliberate smile.

When we got to the final door, I wasn't sure what to expect. At first, it looked like any other closet. Only when I looked closer did I realise it was all my old things, and probably Jasper's, too.

"I moved all your things up here so you could go through it," she explained. "I thought I'd leave the more personal side of decorating the room to you."

"Did you only decorate this recently?" I asked, waving a hand at the main room. The smell of paint wasn't just coming from her studio across the hall.

"I don't like the thought of finishing a room and just waiting for it to be filled." I nodded, understanding how that notion would feel. "It kept me occupied last week."

I took the time to look around the room again, and before I knew it, I was hugging her once again. "It's perfect, Esme, thank you. If it was possible to cry right now…"

She laughed. "I know exactly what you mean."

We were just parting when I heard, "We're not interrupting, are we?"

My smile grew as Emmett bounded into the room like a happy puppy and lifted me into a hug. "It's good to see you again, newbie," he said, and set me back on my feet so Rosalie could offer a far calmer greeting. Seeing them made me realise just how much I missed them.

"Is Jasper still not back?" Rosalie asked, forcing our worry to return.

"Do you think I should go after him?" Emmett asked when I told them he was still outside. I glanced towards the window at Emmett's question. If I thought he wanted to see anyone, I would have gone to him already. This time, I knew he just needed some time alone, and would eventually come back on his own accord. Whether he would be okay was another thing. That was something I'd have to judge when I saw him.

"He'll be back soon," Esme assured him, and gradually shooed them from the room. "I'll leave you to settle in. Everything is ready to use, so you're free to shower and get a change of clothes."

I thanked her once more, liking the thought of having a wash before the talk that was sure to come. Esme was at the door when she paused and looked back with one of her gentle smiles that already seemed familiar.

"I'm so glad you're finally here."

"Me, too," I told her honestly.

Once she shut the door and ventured downstairs to join Emmett and Rosalie, I sat down heavily on the bed. I needed a moment to take it all in. This place was even more than I expected, and Esme had welcomed me as though we were old friends.

My only concern now was for Jasper. I couldn't wait until he had returned to my side.

I took the excuse of a shower to occupy myself while I waited. I scrubbed away the smell of Maria's army, and washed the rich shampoo through my hair until it began to feel as it used to. I only started to hurry when I heard someone enter the room. There was only one person it could be.

I towelled my hair and wrapped another around my body, then stepped out to find Jasper sitting on the bed. _Our_ bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked, not bothering to lower my voice, knowing they would hear me either way. As far as I could tell, he looked tired, but I'd seen that expression too many times and I knew it meant he was struggling. I cupped his cheek and he turned into it, kissing my palm.

"I will be," he said eventually. For now, it was clear that was all I would get out of him. "Carlisle called to say he was on his way back."

From what Edward told me earlier, the hospital wasn't all that far away, which meant we had to get a move on. We split, Jasper going for the shower while I found some clothes in our brand new wardrobe. Five minutes later, I was just brushing through my hair when Jasper came out.

What they didn't know downstairs, was that Jasper had emerged without a stitch on his body. When he caught me ogling, he smirked and arched an eyebrow, using the towel that should have been around his waist to dry the water from his hair. When he disappeared to find some clothes, I took his smirk as a good sign.

For Edward's sake, I used the time it took Jasper to change to clear my mind of what I just witnessed. It helped that Jasper re-emerged fully dressed, though sans the smirk he'd entered with. I took his hand while I still could and gave it a quick squeeze.

There was no more hiding. It was time we told them about Aro's wish.

Carlisle was waiting for us when we got downstairs. He hugged Jasper and greeted me just as warmly as Esme had a few hours before. The last time I saw him, was the day of Bella's birthday, and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing.

All thoughts of the past disappeared when Jasper asked someone to call Edward back.

"There's something I need to tell you all."

* * *

The tension was cloying, and Jasper was doing nothing to disperse it. In fact, his nervous pacing was only making it worse. Edward was on his way, without Renesmee who was being trusted to remain at home reading. It was Jasper who suggested she stayed behind, which meant he didn't plan for the talk to go on for long at all.

Esme had gone from happy to anxious in a matter of seconds, and though I offered her a reassuring smile, I couldn't be sure how reassured she would feel later.

Finally, Edward arrived. Sensing the discomfort in the room, he silently joined Carlisle and Esme on the couch. Rosalie was on the armchair beside them with Emmett leaning against the back. Jasper and I were occupying the only other couch, which happened to be the one directly opposite them all.

The room was utterly silent as Jasper began. "When we were in Volterra, it came out that Aro wanted me to become a member of Caius' guard. He said they'd been watching me since I was under Maria's control, waiting for the right moment to…claim me."

I watched as Carlisle slipped an arm around Esme, who looked like she wanted to burst into tears. I couldn't imagine what the two of them must have thought. He was their son in every way except one, just as Edward and Emmett were.

"Over the time I was there, my actions and behaviour made him realise he couldn't trust me. I thought it meant he'd changed his mind…" He faltered, as the memories no doubt took him back. "Just before they let us go, Aro told me he wasn't above waiting a little longer and this time…I wasn't the only one he was waiting for."

All eyes watched Jasper as fixed his eyes on the floor. He couldn't look at them, and the words wouldn't come. Even when Esme asked, "Who?"

Whether he was working himself up, or simply counting down the seconds until he broke the news, he didn't respond. It was then I realised he didn't have to. After everything he'd done in these past few days alone, it was my turn to repay the favour and carry some of the burden.

"He wants Edward's ability and Emmett's strength."

Esme's hand flew to her mouth, while Carlisle, Edward and Emmett could only stare. It was Rosalie that spoke first, finding anger over everyone's shock.

"Over my dead _body_."

Jasper's attention snapped to her, his expression bitter at the mere thought. "If they get tired of waiting, it might just come to that."

"I'd like to see them _try_," Emmett growled, his defences rising to meet Rosalie's.

"Don't be so confident." Jasper's response was nothing but the truth, despite the fact he was knocking Emmett back. "They have better fighters, but even if we could match them, people like Jane and Alec can wipe us out in seconds."

Neither of them responded of the weight of what we were potentially up against became clear. I'd seen Jasper under Jane's cruel ability and I'd been victim of Alec's. Once under either of them, there was nothing you could do.

Carlisle shook his head, finding his voice. "It doesn't make sense. Aro wouldn't do this."

"Wouldn't he?" Edward said quietly, and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd pulled that from my mind as well as his. "You always look for the best in people, Carlisle. I'm sorry, but your compassion is wasted on people like him."

I felt a pang of sympathy for Carlisle. I knew bits and pieces of his history with Aro and the Volturi; the image he had did not corroborate the one Jasper and I saw. It made me wonder if Aro had abused Carlisle's compassion and hid his real self from him.

"You can train us."

I froze about the same time Jasper did. Emmett was thinking exactly as Maria was, and I knew the reaction was going to be the same.

"_No_."

Carlisle and Esme were quite obviously against violence, and Edward had seen Jasper's response before he said it, leaving Emmett and Rosalie the only ones shocked and disapproving of his refusal.

"Why not?" Rosalie demanded. I could feel Jasper's glare without looking. Neither flinched, and it was Esme that had to intercept them.

"We don't know if it will come to that."

"We don't know that it won't," Edward argued. I knew immediately he was thinking about his daughter. "It's better to be prepared. At least more than we are right now, or else they're going blow through here like we're nothing."

I was quickly beginning to see how badly this conservation was spiralling out of control for Jasper. The whole thing was distressing, and I couldn't be sure whether it was all me or what Jasper was trying to hold back. It looked like he was ready to bolt for the door, and that was as good an indication as any that this topic needed to be dropped. For now.

"I agree that it is better to be prepared, but we don't need to decide anything right away," I said, summoning my best _no arguments_ voice.

"Thank you," Esme said, sending a quick glance in Jasper's direction. "We've been together only a few hours. Let's not divide ourselves over this."

Jasper was out of his seat in the next instant, but he didn't leave as I expected him to. There was still something he wanted to say.

"I will do what I can, but I…I need time." He paused to look at Emmett and then Edward. To look at all of them. "I'm sorry that I've put a target on all our heads."

He was through the door before anyone else could speak. I was ready to follow after him when Edward beat me to it. After asking Rosalie to check on Renesmee, he was gone. The room fell silent as she left, too.

I felt like I should have said something, yet when I tried to apologise for bringing this bad news with us, Esme wouldn't let me finish.

"It's Aro's fault, not yours," Carlisle added, but the bleakness in his voice did little to placate me. From the corner of my eye, Emmett signalled that we should give them some space.

"Don't worry about us," he said once we were outside and a little way from the house. "We've got through a lot of crap these past few years."

I sighed and sat on the bench he'd led us to. "But what about you? How do you feel about all this?"

"I'm made of strong stuff," he replied and threw his arm over my shoulder like we were talking about trivial things.

I nudged him. "I mean it, Emmett."

"I know you do, but there's really nothing to it," he said just as simply. "There's not a thing in the world that would make me part with Rosalie. If they take her away from me, I'll follow her into the fire."

His statement had been given so plainly that I didn't have a single response. There really _was_ nothing to it, and in a way, we all shared that fate. If the worst were to happen, the fire would await us all.

* * *

When Edward came back fifteen minutes later, he found us sitting in silence. He nodded towards the path he'd just come from.

"Jasper's still out there if you wanted to see him."

I left them both to it and followed the path to Jasper. I found him leaning against a tree, eyes distant. He came back as soon as I got closer and held out a hand for me. I took it quickly, allowing him to pull me against his chest.

"How are you feeling?"

He shook his head, which I interpreted as him not knowing. I hadn't expected much more because I couldn't be sure how I was feeling right now, either.

"Edward was telling me how he'd planned to do the same thing I had," Jasper eventually said. "He was going to leave Renesmee for the others to raise and fly to Italy. He assured me it could have happened any number of ways and that Aro would have found out eventually. He says he's glad he knows…that it's better…"

I inched back so I could see his face. It may well have made him feel a little better to hear Edward's reaction, but it still didn't change the fact we had to face everything else.

"I'm always going to be this _soldier_." He shook his head with disgust. "It's exactly what Aro wants."

My eyes cast downwards for a moment. I felt bad that all bar Carlisle and Esme had agreed that Jasper had to return to his roots…to do the one thing he wanted to leave behind.

"I'm sorry I sided with them earlier," I said quietly. "I know how hard you want to break away from that part of your life."

He rested his forehead against my mine, tightening his hold. "Knowing how to fight didn't save Alice's life when she needed it. I told myself I wouldn't do it again, but what choice do I have? It would destroy me if any one of you…because I didn't at least try."

"It may never come to that," I said, hopefully with conviction. For all we knew, I could be right. Aro had waited over a century for Jasper, and even then, it was because he came to _them_. Aro would have waited even longer, which made me believe he wasn't desperate for Jasper to join them.

Right now, the line between the Volturi waiting or coming to take them all depended on how badly Aro and his brother craved their twisted dream.

It all came down to greed and power.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think! Did anyone work out why Maria never liked the female newborn that went after Angela?**

**I can't remember the _exact_ translation for these (sorry), but here's a rough translation. Thanks for vegetarianvamps.**

_"Debiste pedirmelo." = _You should have asked me.

_"Tienes mi respaldo_." = I have your back.


End file.
